Power to Strive

By freetimewriter_

250K 5K 2.1K

First Things first! This Story doesnt belong to me. It belongs to ii-phoenix-ii on fanfiction.net. I don't ow... More

Fall of Shinganshina Part I
The Fall of Shinganshina Part II
Humanity's Comeback Part I
Humanity's Comeback Part II
First Battle
The World The Girl Saw
Small Blade
Heartbeat
Left Arm
Response
Idol
Wound
Primitive Desire
Eyes Yet to Be Seen
The Special Ops Squad
What Needs to Be Done
The Female Titan
Forest of Giant Trees
The Bite
Erwin Smith
Crushing Blow
Smile
Mercy
Wall
No Regrets Part I
No Regrets Part II
Ymir Speaks
Ilse's Notebook
Distress
The Torturous Curse of Youth
Book 2 is Out!

The Defeated

6.7K 127 48
By freetimewriter_

Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan or this story.

Previously: The group is devastated when Squad Levi is killed. Eren swear no mercy against his enemies. Ymir decides to tell them about her after episode 25.

|~|

"He seems to have been bit right out of the neck. Is Eren dead?"

"He's alive," Mikasa answered, not a hint of doubt on her face, voice steady. "Our target seems highly intelligent, and capturing Eren is apparently her primary goal." She recalled the Titan ripping the teen out of the body. "If she wanted him dead, she could've crushed him in her jaws. Instead, she's carefully holding Eren inside her mouth while fighting to escape."

"Eating Eren may also have been her goal. If so," Levi said, "he would've ended up in her stomach. It makes more sense to assume he's dead."

Mikasa stayed true to her belief. "He's alive!"

He glanced at her. "I hope you're right."

She frowned lightly. "If only you'd protected Eren, this never would've happened!" Mikasa said accusingly.

Eren shook his head, "It's my own damn fault for freezing."

"You shouldn't have had to fight her in the first place. It only happened because we failed," Petra frowned.

"You guys only failed because you were misled about the threat and went in blind," Christa said.

"If anyone's at fault here—"

"Let's not play the blame game," Erwin interrupted Jean. "We're here for a limited time. I know it's easy to get caught up but we've been over this. Judgment calls were made and this is the result. We control the outcome now. Or at least this," he gestured to the TV, "gives us a high chance to turn the tides of this war in our favor."

"The deaths of the soldiers who have died on this expedition, and will die, will not be in vain. We will learn and we will prevent that from happening," Hange said.

"Now I see…" Levi turned to face her fully, realization dawning on his face. "It was you back then. You're Eren's close friend."

Mikasa looked at him skeptically.

"We'll focus all our manpower on one goal. First of all, forget about killing the Female Titan."

The two continued to fly through the forest.

"But she killed so many of our comrades!"

Eren, Mikasa, Christa, and many of their fellow recruits nodded.

"So long as she can crystallize her skin, there's no way we can kill her. Trust my judgment. We'll keep hoping that Eren is still alive, and attempt to rescue him before she leaves the forest. I'll hack her up…" Levi readied his blade. "You draw her attention!"

Their heartbeats began to pick up simultaneously in excitement.

"Yes! Tag team!"

"She's finally going down!"

"My heart can't take another loss!"

"Don't let us down!"

"You guys are the biggest badasses! Let's go!"

The Female Titan ignored them, continuing to run.

Mikasa had almost caught up to her, staying close to the ground and watching as Levi approached the giant from above. The Female Titan was aware of him closing the distance between them.

Levi's eyes glinted with bloodlust. He switched his hold on his right sword, the blade pointing back instead of forward.

He's holding it the wrong way again. Jean was confused.

"Why do you hold it like that, Corporal Levi?" Armin asked curiously.

He shrugged. "Feels more comfortable."

"That's right. He didn't learn how to use the gear in the Trainee Corps," Connie remembered.

Christa nodded, "He's self-taught."

Sasha looked at her hands, thinking about holding swords the way Levi did. "I can't imagine doing that. That's so weird."

"We've had the normal way ingrained into our heads and muscle memory for years," Ymir pointed out.

Mikasa wondered about the differences in the style of holding the blades in his unorthodox manner. How did it affect aerodynamics? The way he maneuvered? Or when he was going in for the kill? Is that how he executes his spinning attacks?

The Female Titan's hair bounced in slow motion.

They tensed in anticipation.

Suddenly, she turned, right fist shooting forward. Levi met her attack straight on, cutting up her arm.

The viewers began cheering him on.

"Go Corporal!"

"You can do it!"

"Tear her up!"

"Fillet her like a fish!"

"I don't think you know what that means, Connie."

"Gut her!'"

"That works."

With a flip, Levi landed on her arm and used the momentum to push off, reaching her face and digging his swords into her eyes. Droplets of blood flew out as the Female Titan's head tilted back.

"Keep going!"

"Don't give her time to crystallize!"

"Fuck her up!"

"Just put this bitch down already! I'm fucking sick of her!"

Levi yanked his arms back. Flipping back into the air, he took out fresh blades and spun down, slicing her down to her ankles. He came at an arch, not giving her any time to recover and continuing the assault. Blood burst up from behind her head. She slid, falling on her rump, hand still covering her nape.

"Fuck yeah!"

"That's Humanity's Strongest Soldier for you!"

Levi winced at the title.

They continued to yell and cheer.

He's fast… Mikasa observed him shoot up and fly straight down, attacking relentlessly. He moves so quickly that she can't get a chance to harden her skin!

Levi continued to carve her up, showing no chance of stopping.

Finally, the Female Titan's hand fell from its protective position.

The recruits were screaming their lungs out in encouragement and victory.

So noisy. Levi thought. But he felt quite gleeful at the scene and agreed with their sentiment.

Mikasa gasped. We can go for her neck! She's tired… The nape was completely exposed.

"Don't do it!" Sasha screeched suddenly.

Their eyes widened. They held their breaths, flashes of the deaths of Squad Levi and the rest of the Scouts replaying in their minds.

Eren and Armin had stilled and Mikasa prepared herself for the worst.

Levi's hands clenched into fists. Don't let her die. She was likely the only family he had.

I bet she can't move! Mikasa gritted her teeth. I can kill her!

A hook dug into the Female Titan's shoulder. Her eyes stayed closed.

The viewers weren't fooled for one second, horror building up.

Levi took notice and yelled, "Stop!"

Mikasa charged in, letting out a battle cry.

The Female Titan's fist lifted in slowed motion.

"NO!" Eren screamed

"Mikasa!" Armin cried out.

Levi crashed into Mikasa, shoving her out of the way.

They exhaled loudly.

"Almost gave me heart attack," Jean muttered, chest still aching.

Levi's shoulders dropped the slightest.

The relief was palpable in the air.

Armin placed his hand on his forehead, the dizziness fading.

That was too fucking close. Eren swallowed, his mouth still tasting funny.

Mikasa was—grudgingly—grateful. I owe the midget my life. It still didn't mean she forgave him for hurting Eren. But she'd get there. Eventually.

Levi's ankle twisted from the impact and he grunted from the pain.

They gasped.

Gritting his teeth, he shot toward her mouth and sliced it with his swords.

The Female Titan's jaw fell open, revealing an unconscious Eren cocooned in saliva.

"Eren!" Mikasa called out.

Mikasa hadn't lost faith for a second. Still, it was a great relief to see the Shifter still alive and unharmed.

"Ew," Connie wrinkled his nose.

"You're going to need ten showers after this," Petra said.

"More like twenty," Eren replied.

Levi snatched the unconscious teen and flew away.

Hange laughed at the look of revulsion on Levi's face next to her.

He shuddered, resisting the urge to wipe his hands on the couch. "Disgusting," he muttered under his breath.

Mikasa landed on a branch, watching Levi do the same a few trees over.

"Hey! We need to get out of here!"

"I was kinda hoping for more." Christa wasn't the only one disappointed.

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"Same here."

"It can't be helped. Captain's injured and they are both likely in need of a gas refill," Petra reasoned.

"I guess."

"It's not smart to risk it," Jean agreed. "She'll heal fully within a minute or two and she's got her hardening ability."

The other recruits nodded.

"At least she got her ass kicked and we got Eren back," Armin said.

"True."

Eren was still disappointed. More with himself than the situation. I need to get stronger. I can't keep having others save my ass all the time. He was supposed to be the one taking on the biggest opponents. Even Humanity's Strongest Soldier did not have regeneration powers.

The rest would settle for that victory for now.

"Eren," Mikasa said lightly, smiling.

"I think he's okay. He's alive. Filthy, though. Don't worry about anything else." Steam rose from the blood around Levi's eyes. "We're pulling back." He glanced at the Female Titan, sitting at the base of the tree, giving off waves of steam. "Don't lose sight of your primary objective. Is it more important to get the revenge you deSire? Isn't he a dear friend of yours?" He took off.

"No, I…" Her gaze fell downward.

Levi flew through the air. Mikasa soon joined him. His eyes widened and he looked started, seeing the slack-jawed Titan crying.

That's right, bitch. You'll be doing a lot of that soon. Eren's expression darkened.

"Oh look, I think her feelings got hurt," Jean sneered, thinking of the dead men and women and remembering the cries of despair of the people who had lost loved ones during the Battle for Trost. His TV version would soon be subjected to that horrid, broken sound once again courtesy of the Female Titan.

"Considering how much pain and suffering and tears she's caused," Christa glared, "this is nothing. She deserves far more."

She's a bad person. But she's not pure evil. The others would happily and vehemently disagree, she knew. Not that she blamed them. But Ymir felt a twinge of sympathy for Annie. It was easy for them to think the worst of her. She was the only one who knew the whole story, they didn't. They will soon.

|~|

Trost appeared peaceful and beautiful from an aerial shot.

"The civilians are gonna eat us alive," Hange sighed. She was not looking forward to the return home.

The rest of the viewers looked unhappy, knowing there were bound to be hecklers in the crowd.

"They're returning already?"

"What happened?"

People were standing around near the gate, waiting.

"No clue. I'll bet they're coming back with a heap of corpses again, though."

"More like heaps of corpses," Ymir muttered.

|~|

The soldiers on horses and carts appeared on the horizon, the Forest of Giant Trees in the distance behind them.

Eren lay asleep in a cart, a bandage wrapped around his head, covered by a cloak. One of the cart's wheels bounced hard on the rough terrain.

A small part of him wished he remained unconscious so he wouldn't have to hear the crowd's barbed comments. The larger part of Eren believed he deserved their disdain for failing.

|~|

A brown-haired young woman stared outside the window, waiting.

"Ooh, she's pretty," Connie said.

A middle-aged woman entered the room. "Erd is coming home."

The young woman gripped the basket of clothes in her arms and turned, "I see."

"That's his fiancé," Levi said quietly.

Oh no... Petra bit her lip. Dad... She did not want to see his reaction to her death. Having come back in one piece almost every expedition, he was likely expecting the same outcome this time too.

"Here it comes," Armin said. The worst part of every expedition.

An image of a family appeared, washing clothes.

"You think Oluo will have time to come home?" The oldest boy asked.

"It couldn't hurt to make dinner for him, just in case," Oluo's mother said, cooking. The father smiled, watching her.

Who's going to tell them their children, the love of her life, they're never coming back? Sasha thought sadly. Someone would likely have to break the same news to her father one day, she realized.

"Gunther's coming home," a hunchbacked woman said.

The elderly man in the chair opened his eyes. "I see."

There was a sharp, piercing ache in Eren's chest. It's like losing them all over again.

|~|

The Scouts were resting, some tending to their horses while others kept watch for Titans.

Eren continued to lay unconscious. A shadow fell over him. Mikasa stood by the cart, mournful. She looked to the side at the pairs of the boots.

Corpses lay wrapped up in white sheets, tied by rope, with blood soaking through.

I wonder which one is mine. Petra thought, feeling slightly queasy.

An arm wasn't tucked into the white sheet of one of the bodies. A bite mark was visible on the small hand.

It's one of them. Who is it? Petra? Oluo? Eren wondered. Erd's hands were bigger and Gunther's were darker. The nails were slightly longer than the skin. There was only one female member in his squad. Eren was immensely glad she was covered.

Levi felt the same irritable itch he did when he saw a mess, feeling a compulsion to tuck the arm in properly. The thought of it being pinned under other corpses or flapping around in a moving cart bothered him greatly. He couldn't bring them back alive. It's the least I can do to properly handle their bodies and escort them back to their families. But he knew what task his TV version would be focused on. It was a tradition of his, when he lost soldiers close to him.

Mikasa took in everything in silence. Soldiers on horseback lowered wrapped corpses to their comrades to join the other deceased Scouts. A blond-haired young man sat silently with his back to the screen.

A pair of boots stopped before a body. Levi knelt, moving the white sheet aside to reveal the Wings of Freedom stitched on the pocket of the jacket.

Levi had hoped he would never have to do that with his own squad.

"What's he doing?" Mikasa whispered.

Eren didn't have an answer.

Petra had a fairly good idea, having seen him do it before. He's taking our insignias as mementoes. She felt the sting of failure again. He wouldn't have to be doing that if only they'd stopped the Female Titan.

Levi's shoulders moved under his cloak but his actions remained hidden.

The scene changed to a bare tree with the sun behind it, causing it to look black.

Armin and Jean placed a corpse over a row of corpses in a cart.

"This is the part I just can't get used to," Jean stared at the pile before him.

And you never will. Hange thought.

"Do you ever get used to it?" Sasha glanced toward the veterans.

"No," Erwin answered as Petra and Hange shook their heads.

The grim expression on Levi's face was answer enough. It never stops being any less painful no matter how many times you've been through it.

"Nobody gets used to it," Armin said.

"How are my friends going to die? How am I going to die? It's all I can think about."

"I try not to dwell on it. If I imagined the way I'm going to die, I doubt I'd be able to fight at all."

"Yeah." Jean moved to the end of the cart. "You're right." He crouched by the corpse and Armin joined him.

|~|

"How much longer will I be alive?" Connie was holding a small bucket up to his horse.

Sasha stood behind him, her back to him, feeding her horse. "You're living now, aren't you?"

"For the moment."

"Isn't that a good thing? You're alive!"

"How can you say that in front of the corpses of those who died?"

Sasha didn't reply.

I never thought it'd be this hard. Connie believed surviving meant victory in the Survey Corps because of their deadly mortality rate. I'm alive. But it feels so shitty. He had survived. This time. But what about next time? Or the one after that? Or the one after that? Our chances increase a lot over time but... It wasn't a guarantee. After all, Squad Levi was composed of elite soldiers and they'd survived numerous expeditions. If they can be killed, so can we.

Plants blew softly in the wind.

"I'm not even sure I can go home anymore…" Connie said.

Hange observed the severe expressions on all of the recruits' faces. She was glad they could experience their first expedition this way. They would learn and get perspective without actually losing someone. Then again, they went through something no trainee class has ever gone through before. The Battle for Trost. But now, they knew they would be going out on more expeditions like that. Maybe not all as deadly as this one. Still, they will make friends and form bonds and know what it feels like to lose people on a monthly basis.

|~|

"We're almost done. There were five casualties we couldn't recover."

"Not even any parts of them?" Erwin inquired, holding a clipboard.

"We couldn't get close enough because of the Titans," the brown-haired man said. "It's probably better for the families if we don't bring those back."

Several people nodded in agreement.

They found the idea of receiving a part of the body far more unsettling than no body at all.

"Report them as missing."

"Yes, Sir. We've sighted several Titans near the forest, but none are headed in our direction yet."

"We're moving out now. Inform the squads," Erwin handed him the clipboard and walked away.

"Yes, Sir."

"I refuse to accept this, Commander Erwin!" A voice suddenly said from behind him.

What now? Erwin raised an eyebrow as the rest murmured.

"Hey, you—"

"We should recover them!" Dieter insisted, looking somewhat unhinged. "Ivan's body was right in front of us!"

"There was a Titan right next to him!" A Scout present said. "We'd just end up losing someone else!"

"They want to risk more soldiers over a dead body after all this?" Ymir said incredulously.

"I can understand where they're coming from. But I wouldn't want anyone to be put in harm's way if it were me. If my body was among those left behind," Christa said.

Everyone in the room agreed.

"If they attack us, we can just take them out!" Dieter argued stubbornly.

"Ivan and I are childhood friends from the same village!" Jurgen said more calmly than his friend. "I know his parents." Erwin did not look pleased. "If nothing else, I'd at least like to bring him home!"

"Stop being selfish!" The brown-haired Scout yelled.

"Quarreling children?"

They turned to see Levi.

"Captain Levi!"

"If you confirmed he's dead, that's enough," Levi said, his bland expression unchanging. "Whether or not you have a body, dead is dead. It doesn't change a thing."

"That's…"

"That's harsh, man." Connie felt a little bad for the two even though he disagreed with them.

"Captain Levi doesn't pull punches, ever," Petra said.

"I'm not their damn mother."

He could still stand to be gentler, Christa thought. He was the famed soldier. Everyone looked up to him. She was sure if he explained a little more nicely they'd understand.

"We'll say Ivan and the others are missing. That's my final decision. Leave it at that." Erwin walked away, Levi following.

Dieter watched them leave disbelievingly. "Don't either of you possess any human feelings at all?!"

It sure comes off like that at times. And it probably is true occasionally. But that's what it takes. Armin thought.

"Hey, Dieter! You're getting too far ahead!"

Dieter was still fired up. Erwin hadn't reacted to the words, continuing to walk.

Don't do anything stupid, kid. Levi knew that look in his eyes. He was still determined.

|~|

The Survey Corps was heading back to Wall Rose. Mikasa rode alongside Eren's cart, keeping an eye on him. Behind her were carts carrying the corpses. The shot focused on a blond-haired young man sitting in one of the carts, barley two feet from half a dozen pairs of boots.

Sasha shuddered, "Creepy."

The young man sat up, more alert, and yelled, "Titans!"

Mikasa saw two Titans, a skinny Abnormal one hugging itself and another one with a large belly, racing after two soldiers on horseback. A close-up revealed them as Jurgen and Dieter, each riding with a body behind them.

"Fucking imbeciles," Jean cursed them. "They're gonna get someone killed."

"Or they're gonna get themselves killed," Hange frowned. "The Titans are moving fast."

"Was nobody watching them?" Eren said.

"They probably didn't think anyone one would be that suicidal, or stupid enough to put others in danger," Christa replied.

The other soldier in the cart stood, "That's…" Dieter had a body slumped against his, riding as fast as he could. "Dieter!" He pulled out a flare gun. "That fool…"

A trail of red smoke went up in the air.

"The rear guard has sighted Titans!"

"Full speed ahead!" Erwin ordered.

"I don't see any tall trees or buildings," Levi said from next to him. "It will be difficult to fight out here."

"We're better off trying to outrun them to the wall."

Exhaling irritably, Levi fell back.

The Titans continued their pursuit. Dieter saw a hand in the air. He ducked as it swiped at him. The corpse of his friend fell and landed on the ground face first, causing him to cry out.

"I fucking knew it," Jean grumbled.

"It was for nothing," Armin said.

To his left, Dieter saw Jurgen being grabbed. The Titan brought him closer to its face.

"Now that dumbshit's gonna die too," Levi growled.

Petra sighed, "They made the situation worse for everyone."

Dieter quickly yanked the reins on his horse, stopping to face the direction of the fat Titan and deployed his gear. A hook latched into the Titan's collarbone and he jumped off. The Abnormal one went toward the main host.

"They're gonna catch us!" Armin observed.

"Will we have to fight?" Jean asked.

"The 3D gear has limited functionality in open areas! And look…" In the distance, three Titans were running parallel to them. "They just keep coming!"

"Then what'll we do?" Jean demanded.

"We…" Armin focused on the pile of bodies and Jean followed his gaze, somewhat shocked.

He thinks like I do. Erwin thought.

Hange fumed in her seat. It's all because of those two! Their loyalty to their friend was commendable but they should have understood the situation.

Levi warily wondered what Petra would think about the order he would soon give. He was in no shape to fight. Their best chance of survival was to make it to the walls. To do that, they needed to get rid of the extra baggage.

Jurgen's legs wiggled out the Titan's mouth and it slurped him in like a noodle. Mikasa watched the Titan grab Dieter. It opened its mouth and the man cried out. Mikasa attacked, causing blood to shoot out from its nape. The Titan toppled over in a loud crash and she landed on the ground in a crouch.

"That's our Mikasa!"

"Always such a badass!"

"It's extremely hard to kill a Titan on such terrain but you did it!"

She really is like Captain Levi. Petra looked at the girl admiringly. Not only in skills but in the way she inspires those around her like he does.

Levi felt something akin to pride. Titan slaying runs in the family. He remembered young Mikasa's words when she had killed the man choking Eren. Was there something special about their bloodline? The Ackerman familyHer father, my mother, Kenny, and us... He had to know more. But Kenny would be impossible to track down. If he was still alive. Checking into her father should be easiest.

Dieter came out of the Titan's fist, holding his limp left arm. He noticed the scene before him and quickly averted his gaze.

"You're responsible for it. So own up to it," Christa said in disgust.

The Abnormal Titan chased after the carts, showing no signs of stopping.

"No! They'll catch us!"

"I'll circle behind them! When I draw their attention, you—"

"No," Levi rode alongside the cart. They moved their heads in his direction. "Just abandon the corpses. Otherwise they'll catch us."

"B-but—"

"On past expeditions, dozens of bodies never made it back." Levi continued without emotion, "These guys will be no different."

The man in the cart gaped at his words.

Most of the recruits mirrored his expression.

"He can't be serious," Eren said, wide-eyed.

"There's no other way," Armin said.

Sasha watched disbelievingly, "This is just..."

"Are we doing this?" The other Scout said, crouching over the bodies to keep them in place as the ground shook from the Titan's thunderous footsteps. "We're seriously dumping them?!"

Levi was frustrated, glaring at the scene behind him. He touched his left leg, "Damn it…"

This is my fault. Mikasa thought, hands clenched into fists in her lap. If she hadn't let her emotions interfere, he wouldn't have gotten hurt trying to save her. Now he couldn't kill the Abnormal and they were forced to leave the bodies of their comrades behind. She leaned forward slightly to catch the saddened look on Petra's face. Quickly, Mikasa looked away guiltily.

The man's expression finally changed from shock to angry determination. "We have no choice!" He crouched.

The first body fell to the ground, tumbling toward the oncoming pair of feet.

Armin and Jean grimly watched them toss the next one.

The Titan crushed it under its foot, causing a small cloud of dust to rise.

They flinched.

With tears in his eyes, he picked up the next one as Levi watched.

Ginger hair whipped around the face. There was a trail of blood reaching up from the mouth.

The slowed time gave them plenty of time to figure out who it was and fall into uncomfortable, dead silence.

The body hit the ground harshly and rolled off to the side.

They were glad it at least wasn't trampled upon.

Despite how calmly and easily he had given the order, the anguish was clear in Levi's eyes just then.

This feels somehow worse than watching them die. Maybe, Mikasa wondered, if it was because she felt partially responsible.

"Her arm was out," Armin said quietly. It was her body Corporal Levi approached earlier.

They glanced at Petra, gauging her reaction. But she kept her eyes glued to the TV, not at all distressed.

Forgive me. Levi's mind replayed his team's death and the heartless disposal of their bodies. I couldn't even bring your bodies home. He was too afraid to check how his subordinate sitting right next to him felt.

The Titan began to fall behind.

Petra finally smiled a little. Our one last contribution to the Survey Corps. It broke her heart to think of her father. She was all he had since her mother had passed away long ago. Would he be able to properly mourn for her? At least burying a body and holding a funeral would have allowed him to grieve and have some closure.

"Okay! Keep on going!"

Finally, they were able to outrun the Abnormal.

|~|

Green smoke was trailing up in the air. The Survey Corps was resting once more.

"As soon as we ascertain our location, we'll depart."

"Stay alert! We'll have to take a slight detour to the east…"

Nearby, Dieter stood, dazed.

"Well I hope he's proud of himself," Christa crossed his arms.

"If only he had the sense to listen," Jean scowled.

"He lost more because of his decision than anyone else," Levi interrupted before the others could jump in and pile on the hate.

What about what we lost? Eren thought. What about the families of their squad?

"Not only did he lose his friend's body, another friend of his died because of a choice they made. I'm sure he's punishing himself far more harshly than we can."

I can't believe he's actually defending him, considering his reaction to Petra's body being thrown away because of the actions of that idiotIf I were in his place and that was Christa or Connie or that annoying Potato Girl, hell even if it was Jean who was dumped... Ymir certainly would not have been so understanding and forgiving.

A horse approached him and Levi dismounted.

"Captain Levi," Dieter turned to him. The short man was rummaging through his jacket's pocket. "I…"

"This proves that they were alive. To me, at least."

Dieter trembled, holding the Wings of Freedom patch torn from a jacket.

"This was Ivan's."

No one believed him.

He was never shown near the man's body. It could have been off screen. But Sasha highly doubted it.

Connie was surprised. He's nicer than he wants to let on.

The Titans would have started chasing him and nobody would have missed him going back. Not to mention, Armin thought, why would he bother going back for some stranger instead of his own squad? Based on his observations, he was almost certain the patch was Petra's.

You're a better man than me, Captain. Eren would have slugged the guy instead of giving him something so precious.

It pained him to see it but Levi knew he had done the right thing.

Dieter began to cry, shoulders shaking, "Captain…"

Without a word, Levi mounted his horse and left.

An order was given out. "We're leaving!"

|~|

A beautiful blue flower swayed gently. Footsteps were heard. A young Eren was carrying firewood silently.

"Eren, you should give up on joining the Survey Corps."

The two children were on their way back home.

"Isn't this from the first episode?" Jean asked.

"Wonder why it's showing us this scene again," Sasha thought out loud.

"What? You're going to tell me it's stupid too?"

"That's not it…"

A bell began to ring in the distance. "The Survey Corps is back! The front gate's opening!" Eren grabbed her hand. "Let's go, Mikasa! The heroes have returned!"

The children climbed up the crates. The smile fell from Eren's face.

"Only this many made it back?"

"The rest of them must've been eaten. That's what you get when you venture outside the Walls."

The boy glared, overhearing them.

Eren felt a wave of nausea.

"It's like all our taxes are spent fattening up the Titans."

Eren picked up a stick from the ground. "Eren?" Mikasa said. The boy was frozen. Her eyes widened, noticing his shaking shoulders as he lowered his arm. "What is it?"

He squeezed the stick tightly. It was no longer the child Eren but the teenager, dressed as a Scout.

I see. He's on the other side now. Christa thought. But he's still watching the procession through the crowd's eyes, like he did when he and Mikasa were kids. Only this time...

This time he can't bring himself to defend the Survey Corps. Mikasa felt her heart go out to him, understanding.

Jean felt the same way as well. We failed. The sacrifices were for nothing. So it really is like what they're saying. With the mission ending in such great loss and no gain, their taxes had essentially gone to feed the Titans.

They felt sick knowing what the men had been saying was true.

We can't justify all those deaths. Hange felt terribly sad. They had died for nothing. All we learned was we know a lot less than we think we do. While their enemies knew all about them and were more powerful. And acquiring that knowledge had cost them countless lives.

Little Mikasa stared at his back. "Eren…" The camera focused on the Wings of Freedom on his cloak before slowing shifting up to his bowed head, shoulders still trembling.

|~|

"Eren!"

He woke up with a gasp.

If only it was a nightmare. Sasha perked up. Wait! It pretty much is! It wasn't real.

The cart shook gently. They were still outside the Walls. Mikasa sat beside him. "Eren…"

He sat, still covered by her cloak.

"Don't try to get up yet. Rest up."

"The Female Titan?" Eren asked desperately.

"She escaped."

"Why? What happened to others?" His voice trembled slightly. "What about the plan?"

"It failed. Lay still for now," she said calmly.

"What's going on? Did you save me again?"

Mikasa didn't answer, touching her scarf.

Levi sighed. Childish brat.

"Seriously?" Christa shot Eren a disbelieving look.

"Not the time for pride, buddy," Connie said.

"I know," Eren replied, feeling ashamed. He really hoped it wasn't because of his ego but because of the promise he had made to protect Mikasa. I'm the one who's supposed to put my life on the line and— He remembered Mikasa's last conversation with Carla. No, we're both supposed to have each other's backs. And that wasn't possible if he kept being such a weakling.

"She wouldn't need to keep saving your sorry ass if you grew a pair," Ymir said bluntly.

"Yes, you're right," he said solemnly before his friends could jump in. He was a soldier. He was sworn to protect the people behind the Walls no matter the enemy. Be that Titan or human. Hesitation means death. It had been just the two of them, him and the Female Titan, this time. Next time the two clashed he could get his comrades killed. No more being weak, complaining and whining.

As soon as they were out of there, Eren planned to throw himself into training as a Titan-Shifter. Even if the expedition was only days away, he was determined to make the most of the time available. The image of his squad being killed brought back the sickening feeling. His thoughts turned to the Female Titan. She was the enemy. Friend or foe, I won't hesitate. He wouldn't let more soldiers die in vain again.

"We're almost to the Wall," Mikasa finally said.

In another cart, the floor smeared with blood, sat three despondent Scouts, including Dieter, who was clutching the patch Levi had given him.

|~|

Erwin, Hange, and Mike led them.

The people were whispering as the downcast soldiers walked in silence, looking somewhat dazed.

"Here we go," Connie said.

The others braced themselves for the worst.

"Aren't a bunch of them missing compared to this morning?"

"Man…"

"Far fewer…"

"How horrible."

Eren lay quietly.

"Just this morning they left to raise hell, but now they're back already? What was the point?"

"Who knows?"

Mikasa listened to them nervously.

"But judging by those gloomy expressions, they managed to gobble up more of our taxes…"

The group stared at the TV, upset and annoyed. Listening to their comments, even if they weren't entirely wrong, still hurt.

Eren glared, starting to sit up.

"Eren, just bear with it."

He lost the anger, noticing a grinning young boy standing with a little girl. Mikasa watched, unsure.

"So cool!" The boy's voice was full of excitement and awe. "The Survey Corps are so awesome! They get their butts kicked, but they keep on fighting!" He told the girl with him.

Eren sat back down, shaken.

Jean walked with his head bowed, Reiner with him. Armin's face was covered by his hair. Ymir observed the crowd as she walked beside Christa, who couldn't bear to face them. Sasha and Bert wore matching disheartened expressions.

|~|

"Captain Levi!" A brown-haired man approached him.

Petra stiffened. No way... She had thought she'd gotten lucky when the TV didn't show her father earlier when her teammates' families were shown. This was worse.

"My daughter is in your squad. I'm Petra's father."

"Aww..."

"The poor man..."

"This is gonna be heartbreaking."

Hange gave Levi a pitying look.

"If I were him I'd wanna crawl under a rock right about now."

"Before I see her, I wanted to talk with you. She sent me this letter," Petra's father held up a white envelope. "She said you respected her skills enough to allow her join your squad. She swore she'd to devote herself to you. Well, I guess she's too starry-eyed to consider her father's feelings! Anyway, as her father, I think it's still too early for her to marry."

"Huh?" Petra gawked. "Marry?" Confusion seeped into her tone.

Levi looked devastated.

"Yikes."

"Poor Corporal."

"She's still so young, with so much left to experience!"

"Dammit Father!" Petra blushed. "Way to blow it out of proportion! That is not what I meant!" She wanted to sink into the couch in embarrassment. Her hair fell like a curtain, hiding her from Levi. She was horrified by what he might think of her.

Some of the others snickered.

"Trust me, I get it," Jean nodded, smiling. "Every time I mention a girl, my mom gets all excited and demands to know everything about her future daughter-in-law. And I'm only fifteen!"

"Glad my dad's not like that," Sasha shivered.

"My parents are pretty cool," Connie grinned. "I think they'd be pretty thrilled though."

The rest of the room was quiet and their smiles fell, realizing the others were likely all orphans.

"Commander Erwin! Answer us!" Men and women yelled, looking furious.

Erwin walked, holding his horse's reins.

"Did your expedition learn anything worthwhile to justify the body count?" A female voice demanded.

"Do you really believe the dead leave no regrets?" Another man yelled.

Erwin's face remained blank. The people continued to yell.

"What's gonna happen now?" Christa whispered.

"We're screwed," Ymir said. "Especially Eren."

"The costs and casualties of the failed expedition were easily enough to discredit the faction that had supported the Survey Corps," Candy narrated.

The Survey Corps hasn't been in this terrible a position in decades. Hange shifted uneasily.

Lying in the cart, an arm covering his face, Eren cried. A tear ran down the side of his face.

Mikasa held his hand.

What'll happen to Eren? There was a heavy ball of dread in Mikasa's stomach.

Armin was equally anxious. What would the Military Police do to the Shifter now that he had failed to prove his worth to humanity? He'll just be a liability in their eyes now.

"As those responsible, including Erwin, were summoned to the capitol, it was decided that Eren would be handed over."

To who? Eren thought dumbly. The Military Police, of course. He felt numbed, terrified of what the future held for him.

Mikasa let out a strangled gasp. Maybe he was right. Maybe we should have taken our chances and runaway. With her skills, Armin's intelligence, and Eren's ability, they could have survived in Titan territory.

"That's not good," Connie said.

"Is it any surprise?" Jean said. "The whole thing was such a disaster."

"What're they going to do to Eren?" Sasha looked alarmed. "Are they going to dissect him?! Will they subject him to torture or—"

"Now hold on," Erwin interrupted, "we wouldn't let them take him so easily."

"He's right," Hange said.

The recruits didn't look convinced. The mission had failed. The people were against them. What could they do?

While the commander reassured them, Levi spoke quietly to Petra, "I'm sorry I couldn't bring your body back to your father."

"It's okay. I understand. No point in being deadweight, literally, and dragging down those who're still alive." As much as she believed it, and believed it was the right thing to do, it still hurt to see her body being discarded.

He nodded, "If I hadn't been injured..."

"I know. I'd like to think it was my last contribution." Petra didn't want him—or Mikasa, whom she'd noticed looking at her when Levi had cursed his leg—to feel any worse and kept her expression neutral. "I'm just glad I didn't have to see my dad react to it." She'd have cried for sure. "And I'm sure the guys would've understood too. Right now, I'm a little more worried about Eren."

"Erwin will think of something. If not..." Levi wasn't exactly a stranger to breaking the law and doing things illegally.

"There are still three more episodes left. Things could still turn out in our favor," Armin said optimistically.

"Things can't get much worse than this I guess," Jean replied skeptically.

~Please Review❤️

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