CHAPTER TWENTY - NINE
"You see my tears, in the rain underneath it all, we're just the same."
– Machine Gun Kelly
WHAT MORE WAS THERE to the sun? She was vain; she sat high above helpless clouds on her perch in the sky. She was the warmest in the cold, her presence too bright to have your gaze placed elsewhere but on her.
She was made for attention -- and my, how she handled it well.
Jules stared over at a lonely rose that sat inside of a glass bottle she used to burn taper candles in while she brushed her hair. A rainbow glare from the glass made an impression on the side of her dark skin.
It was lonely; but that's what made it so captivating -- so perfectly alone. Too many of them would take away from what it was, it would distract her from finding the beauty in that one rose.
And that's why she loved it.
It was because she saw herself, and somewhere in her mind -- she knew Rah saw her too.
"Damn Jules, if you try to brush it any straighter it won't move," Ayden teased while walking around the room in a large t-shirt that covered her bottom half.
"I'm just trying to make sure I don't have any fly aways, can't let a hair get out of place." Jules assured as she set the book down.
Ayden sat down stomach first onto her bed. She cradled a bag of Doritos in her hand and plopped chips in her mouth as she faced her best-friend.
"So," she started to ask, "You going out tonight with barista boy or are you going to be in here with me getting my locs re-twisted?"
"Now correct me if I'm wrong, but is the same girl who twisted you up last time going to be in here — you know, the one I found in here under your covers? Now what would Marcus say about that?" Jules teased.
"One -- I got a new girl who's strictly about her money, and two -- the boy would probably salivate at the mouth and ask to join." Ayden responded with a laugh.
"Mmm, smart choice." Jules told her with a smirk.
"That doesn't answer my question Elizabeth Bennett," Ayden started to mock, "You going out with Mr. Darcy tonight or what?"
Jules threw her brush at Ayden for the comparison, "I don't know. I've got to call my dad and see if they've got everything in order for my uncle."
"I thought they were doing the whole spreading of the ashes thing," Ayden started to ask.
"Yeah, but I want to make sure I'm not needed for anything important you know?" Jules stalled.
"Like what Jules, holding the urn?"
"No you little asshole," Jules responded, "for emotional support or something."
"I think the only person that wants support right now is you," Ayden admitted.
Jules shrugged while straightening out her outfit in the mirror, "No, I'm — I'm fine."
"If you're so fine, go out with your man. He even got you a little freaky Addams family rose." Ayden teased.
"He's not my man." Jules shot back.
"Yeah, you say that now. But I bet if little miss bring it on was back in the picture, you'd feel a little salty that he wasn't." Ayden stated.
"Raheem can fuck whoever he wants, that's none of my business." Jules defended.
"And that whoever could be you if y'all get your shit together. The man is dropping off flowers, shit --- it won't be too long after he's in here dropping off dick."
"It was one rose." Jules turned to argue.
"One or a dozen, you'd be lying if you say you haven't been thinking about it all night." Ayden said before crunching on a Dorito.
"I had a nice night of sleep, was knocked out like a baby."
"Because you were probably dreaming of what frappe he would blend up for you after you finish doing him on the counter."
"You've got one more time before I kick your ass Ayden," Jules warned with a laugh.
"That's something I haven't heard before," Ayden rolled her eyes while chuckling before sitting back into the bed.
Jules grabbed her tote before heading for the door, "Alright, I'm about to head off to class. Try not to burn the place down when I'm gone".
"Woah, woah, woah hotshot," Ayden objected, "I thought you were taking the day off. You've got the excuse for it."
"I may just skip around — depends. I just don't want to miss anything in my first one. I think she's talking about our final today."
Ayden smirked, "Now your need to be studious doesn't have to do with a light skin poet who shares the same class — does it?"
Jules rolled her eyes before opening the door.
"Bye Ayden," She trailed off.
"Mhm, make sure you get some good seats at Soul Cypher tonight!"
"I didn't say I was going," She reminded.
"You didn't have to Julie."
The day was bright and cold, nature's contradiction. Students walked past each other in a slump, ready to rush the end of the semester and begin winter break. There would only be another week before the preparation for finals began. So now, release was a matter of a waiting game.
Jules looked down at her phone as she walked out of the dormitory. Her hands scrolled over a text from Jacob.
It would be nice to taste you on my lips again, the sooner the better.
She smirked at his abruptness.
Show me, don't tell. I'll be back at Parks around 12.
As her fingers pressed send, she shoved the device back in her pocket -- and without paying attention, she bumped into a wall of a body. She stumbled back lightly.
"There was something so satisfying about that." He told her.
Jules held her hand over her head to make out his face under the beam of the sun. The outline of his silhouette made his gingerbread skin glow as it came into view. His irises were lighter under the sun-ray, although the tease in his smirk looked the same.
His gold chain flashed a spark into her eye, making her squint.
"Pick on someone your own size Rah." Jules warned with a sigh.
"All that mouth gives your short ass a few more inches. We're practically equals." He joked while walking next to her.
"What are you doing near Parks? Class is on the other side of campus." She asked while turning to him.
"I was waiting for you," He started to say, "You're actually earlier than I expected."
"Why would you wait on me?"
Raheem placed his hands into his pockets, he looked good today.
An oversized black tee-shirt and puffer jacket framed his upper half while baggy black denim fell over his crow-colored timberlands. There was stubble on his chin as Jules observed the definition of his jaw.
"I wanted to walk you," He admitted, "Make sure you were doing okay -- you know?"
Jules nodded, "I'll be fine."
"I know you'll be fine eventually Jules, but how are you now?" He urged.
She huffed before turning down the path toward their first class. Raheem was at her side, his tall frame towered over her like a barricading shadow. They were going at a steady pace, both of their boots sounding lightly against the pavement.
"Can we talk about something else?" She pleaded with irritation.
He gave her a small smile of sympathy before bumping her with his side, "We can talk about whatever you'd like."
The wind played with a few strands of her hair. She felt the bulk of Raheem's rings move down from the top of her head to the flow of her tresses.
There was a burning in her face as he continued to stroke.
She grabbed his wrist, "Alright that's enough Rah, I can get the rest."
He shrugged, "Alright."
There were a few laughs from students on the yard taking in the arrival of the weekend. Events from the past two days started to flood her mind, she tried to focus on the positive.
"So why did you give me just one?" Jules asked as they walked toward a hill.
His eyebrows furrowed, "Give you one what? Last good nerve?"
Jules chuckled and pushed him to the side, "You know what I'm talking about you ass."
He let out a quick laugh that simmered into a smile, "Alright -- Alright, I may know something of what you're referring to."
"The rose, why one?" Jules stated as her eyebrows moved with the pronunciation.
"Well, for one -- I know you Jules. Giving you 12 would've scared the shit out of you." He answered.
She nodded, "You've got a point there. So, what the second reason?"
"If I give you all twelve at once, that's a rush of the seasons -- winter just doesn't turn right into spring. I like to think that there's a process in that waiting period where you start appreciate the flowers that grow in the end.
So I thought it would be realistic to give you one for every turn of a leaf, every storm, every sight of snow. Just to know in the coldest moments that there's a peak of warmth you're heading for in the end." He explained, "When we get to twelve, you'll look up -- and it'll be spring."
Jules rolled her eyes to keep from swooning.
It was the sweetest thing she'd ever heard -- which is why, like sugary candy, it was both satisfying and sickening at the same time.
"You're not gettin soft on me, are you McDaniels? We're supposed to hate each other." She questioned to keep her composure.
"Tolerating you has become less time consuming, and my time is valuable to me." He stated as they got nearer to the Arts and Sciences building.
"You know you don't have to be sweet with me because I lost someone? I'm a big girl."
He shook his head in agreement as he held the door open for her, "I'd have to disagree with that."
She chuckled, "Disagree with what?"
"The sweet thing," He admitted, "If anything Jules -- I'm being honest. You take how it makes you feel up with yourself."
Deny it, She thought.
"It doesn't make me feel a thing." Jules told him as they made their way down the long hallway.
He leaned down to meet her ear as they came to the doorframe. She could feel the presence of his lips a hair away from the back of her ear. The feeling was more chilling than the air that lingered among the earth outside.
"Now who's not being honest?"
• • •
There was a candle lit near Jules' desk. It smelled of Tonka bean, cedar wood, and vanilla. It was a warm hug in a flame.
She watched the flame dance through the glass of the bottle that held the single black rose.
Her eyes brushed against the petals, making her mind flicker quicker than the fire and build an image of Raheem in her subconscious.
The softened visual of him smiling as the two walked to class earlier made her face fall. Yet, as the sound of soft pecks could be heard throughout he room, she was brought back to the moment at hand.
Jules straightened her gaze downward and smirked as Jacob kissed the inner part of her thighs before coming from under the covers.
His oaken skin glistening under the light of the sun as he put either hand on the side of the bed to lift up from the position.
He kissed up her legs, and wrapped his large hand around one of her thighs.
"I like making you tremble," he said in between pecks, "then cleaning you up when you get real still."
He licked by her waist as he talked more, "You're also the only thing on campus that tastes as good as it looks. Which makes my job so much easier."
Jacob pulled her leg lightly to bring her closer to his face. The flesh of his fingertips trickled across the folds of her thighs.
She bit her lip as he continued to speak, "And teasing you is even easier."
Jules chuckled, "Stop playing with me."
Jacob's grin was sinister, like a lion dreaming of everything he would do to a lonely gazelle.
Only, Jules was no gazelle — she was much of a hunter as he was. So, like clockwork, she returned the seductive smile.
"That — that's not playing with you," Jules could feel the curve of something inside her as he whispered to her chin that was now lifted into the air, "This is."
Jacob removed his fingers from her, running his tongue along the folds of his middle and ring finger.
He moved over to sit next to her as they held a conversation after their strenuous activities.
"You okay?" Jacob asked as he reached for his shirt that had been scattered among the floor, "You took longer than usual -- and I know I was doing good."
Jules started to brush a piece of hair to the side before Jacob tried to mimic the same action. She swatted his hand away, "Don't, I got it."
He shrugged, "Alright -- so what's up with you?"
"Nothing," Jules stated as she checked her phone for any missed messages or calls from her father, "I'm fine -- just tired."
She didn't want to bring up Vinny. It would do nothing but result in an awkward silence, an "I'm sorry" pat on the shoulder for an outcome he hadn't caused, and questions she didn't feel like answering.
"Sometimes I just don't get you Jules," Jacob admitted.
"That's the point." She answered as she pulled the covers toward her bare body.
"I guess," He said before putting his hands behind his head, "You excited for the cabin trip? The semester's ending faster than we know it."
She nodded, her glossy mane filled of oil sheen and heat protectant moving along with her head.
"Yeah, I heard it's supposed to be a lot of fun. You got any details for me?"
"Well, I just know the cabin's big as hell since I helped Erica picked it out. It's on a lode right near some woods, there's about fifteen people coming and two people to each bed. I get my own though, cause I got it like that." Jacob gloated.
"Oh you do, do you?" Jules asked while crossing her arms over her chest.
"Yeah, so if you ever get tired of sleeping with Ayden -- you can come crash with me. Although sleep would be the last thing on my mind." He offered before leaving kisses on her neck.
"No, no I'm good. I think Ayden will do, but I'll make sure to come around when other things come to mind."
He chuckled while pulling away, "You're a trip."
Jules laid back further into the headboard as Jacob got himself together. He had a senior advisement meeting after this and didn't need to be a moment late.
She watched as he turned on his side and reached his arm toward her nightstand to secure his keys.
Yet, at the same moment, another set jangled within the brass knob. Jules winced as she prepared for Ayden to walk in on the two.
Her slender frame ventured past the doorway and into their dorm right as Jacob was turned toward the stand.
"Oh shit! Now when I meant for you and barista boy to get it together I didn't mean like this!" Ayden yelled out, "But okay I see you Rah--"
Her face turned into slight embarrassment as Jacob turned around to face her with raised eyebrows.
"Yikes -- um, my bad Jacob. Why don't you forget everything I just said and we pretend that I didn't even walk in here?" Ayden said while backing out of the door before shrugging at Jules.
"Yeah, you do that." Jacob stated curtly.
"Boy, you may be a senior — but I'll beat your ass like I birthed you last week. Don't fuck with my kindness, I'm doing this because I feel sorry for you." Ayden threatened before giving him a glare.
"My bad," He trailed out.
"Yeah, and let it be the last one." She warned before starting to shut the door.
He waited for the sound of the locks clicking against each other before he said anything else.
Jacob turned to Jules as he rose from the bed, "I thought you and that knock-off Starbucks employee were just friends. What's she on about?"
"We are friends," Jules told him with a frown, "So watch your mouth."
"Yeah whatever," Jacob mocked before heading for the door, "I'll catch you later?"
"Maybe." She responded with a tilt of her head upward.
"Maybe?" He asked with a scoff.
"You'll hear from me if it turns into anything else." She responded before he disappeared behind the close of a door.
• • •
"So what made you say yes?" Raheem asked as Jules as they walked from the Parks' lobby to Carver's parking lot.
The moon spun charm with her fingers — leaving the zeal of stars as prints. Her palms were dipped in the tempt of twilight and her breath was steady like the wind.
Jules looked like a child of the night. The long tresses she'd gotten refreshed reached down her waist and smelled of jasmine. Her makeup was smoky, and bold as an umber and glossy nude framed her lips.
A black ribbed t-shirt was cropped along the top of her stomach while her silver tint of her black belly ring held a glint in the moon's song.
Baggy cargo pants hung lazily around her waist as black timberlands laced her feet. She paired it with a black trench to fight some of the cold off of her arms.
Rah was sporting what he'd worn earlier. Three shades of black moving among his body as they walked.
They were matching, even if Jules hadn't truly intended for them too. Somehow, he'd gotten entangled with her fad for wearing the darkest hues.
Maybe, she was rubbing off on him.
Or maybe he just decided to dress in black today, she assured herself, while she did wear it well — she didn't own the color.
"It was either hanging with you or watching Ayden get her locs retwisted while we watch some old ass TV show." Jules told him.
"Why can't you just admit that you wanted to hang with me," Raheem asked.
"Simple isn't my style."
"Denial is," he assured with a mocking smile, "with a hint of black of course."
"I'm not in denial." Jules defended as she walked alongside him.
Raheem flickered a smile as he looked at the streetlights overhead, they gave a dull yellow hue under the blanket of the dark.
"I'm a grown ass man Jules," he started to tell her, "I can only play games for so long."
There was a crease in her forehead from a frown of confusion, "What does that mean?"
He let out a short laugh, almost as it Jules was telling a joke that he was playing along with. He ran his tongue across his teeth before nodding.
"Why don't you figure out what you want it to mean while I start the bike?" He asked.
She shrugged, "It doesn't mean anything."
Raheem raised his eyebrow as they walked near the lot, "Oh?"
"Oh." She responded with his own interjection.
"You know one thing about lies Jules..." He started to say while fishing for his hey in his pocket.
"Hm?" She asked for him to continue on as he felt the ridges of the golden objects.
"The eyes lie first before the mouth," He told her, " and I've looked into yours enough to know when you're calling bullshit."
"So?" She challenged while crossing her arms around her chest. Her cropped tee inched higher above her stomach.
Raheem put the key in the ignition as Jules watched from the side. He revved the engine and put his hands on the bars before signaling for Jules to get on.
It was loud enough to make a few students stare as got everything in place.
"So, you can lie to him," He told her, "but not to me."
Jules positioned herself on the back of the large motorcycle. She wrapped her hands around his waist and pulling it toward her. She rested her chin on his shoulder as he began to pull out of the lot.
She felt the side of his face nearly touch her nose as he turned to check on her.
"You good?" He questioned with a smirk.
Jules rolled her eyes while shuffling in her spot, "Just drive Rah."
He drove steadier than usual, like he was trying to savor the moment. Jules closed her eyes as she felt the wind cascade across her face and flutter her lashes.
Different stoplights painted colors on their faces, while fluorescent signs gave them a neon glow. She opened to see the different tones of purple, red, blue, and green flicker over them like a flame.
The feeling of holding on to him always made her drift away from the current, pushing her into a moment of where time didn't feel real. There was no worry of what she'd have to do tomorrow, or what happened the day before -- it was always the present with him.
It felt good to defy time with him, to escape from whatever world she'd been in and build another full of something that made her push past the shell she'd often shown.
It was a new environment, one that forced her to come from hiding and reveal who she was. It was a home she'd never known.
Raheem slowed down as they came across the street of Soul Cypher. It was crowded already. Students sat outside in different shades of red, yellow, green, and blue clothing. They looked like a living color-wheel.
Music from the inside could be heard on the street. The function hadn't even started and they were already flirting with fun.
He parked the vehicle and stepped off before extending his hand for Jules to hop off with.
She didn't object as she placed her palm in his. Her feet dropped to the pavement from the height of the bike, and she let go when she was secured on the ground.
"You wanna do something fun?" Raheem asked as they walked to the door.
"Isn't that what we're here for?" Jules returned as they went further.
"You can't answer my question with a question." He informed her.
She scoffed as Raheem put his keys in his pocket, "Says who?"
"Me," He answered confidently.
"And who are you supposed to be?" Jules challenged with a raised brow.
"What do you want me to be?" He asked patiently, textured like a piece of velvet she'd been dying to touch.
"Quiet," She answered quickly, "I want you to be quiet."
"Ah, that's one thing I can't do for you." He told her truthfully.
"Then you can't be who I want you to be." She said with a shrug.
"You want to bet?"
She sighed, "What was the fun thing you wanted to do Rah?"
"I was thinking we could pick out a book for each other, see how well you know me." He suggested.
"Okay," she responded as they walked past the door, "And what if I get something you don't like."
"You know what I like Jules," He told her as the air from the inside hit their faces, "I'm sure of it."
Jules stepped into The Soul Cypher with Raheem close enough to be at her hip.
It looked so much different than before.
Neon lights danced on the walls along with bodies too drunk to stand on their own.
You could sniff out the distinct smell of musk and convince store perfume, the type a mother buys to "freshen up" the house.
Bodies sat on stuffed cushion couches and stool chairs. The bar was full with conversation and broad shoulders, while the dance floor was just as packed with individuals lucky enough to get a dance.
Music thumped against their rib cages, causing adrenaline to race with the reckless beat as people found their seats among the poetry club and bar.
There was a section to the side with bookshelves that stood at Jules' chest. A few people stood looking through the literature faced forward in rows.
Santana's Maria Maria sent young hips into a hypnotic sway.
Maria Maria
She reminds me of a west side story
Growing up in Spanish Harlem
She's living the life just like a movie star
Maria Maria
It was more alive that it had ever been tonight. There was something to celebrate.
The pressure of reciting a poem good enough to get approval from the crowd no longer lingered in the back of anyone's minds.
People were simply there to freestyle, have fun, and occasionally make a fool of themselves while swapping books.
A man with a curly afro that rested at his shoulders and butterscotch skin came over to dap Raheem up. Tattoos framed his arms in bands while he held the build of a solider. His nose ring held a glint under the lighting.
There was another with slender eyes and toffee skin. His hair was cut low and his lips were brown and plump. He was Raheem's height, and had a few tattoos scattered along in the folds of his arm.
"Ah, looks like the Mack McDaniels has graced the Cypher with his presence," The man with the curls said while embracing him into a one-armed hug, "To what do we owe the pleasure man?"
Raheem shook hands with the other man, "Shit -- not much. I heard y'all were planning something big this weekend so I had to swing through."
The man with curls responded again, "Ah and it seems like you brought a guest that wasn't Marcus. This you?"
He shook his head, "Nah she's a good friend of mine, likes to spit occasionally so she's in here sometimes."
His hair bounced as he moved his hands around, "A good friend my boy? The last time you brought a lady up in here was," He snapped his fingers around to signal a sarcastic lapse in thought, "Help me out Ron."
The one with the toffee skin spoke this time with a laugh, "Never."
"Correct," He exclaimed as his curls bounced once more.
Raheem chuckled while rubbing the back of his neck, "Don't make it something it's not man."
Ron stepped near Jules, "So you wouldn't mind if I tried my luck with the goddess then? What do you think Makoa, should I shoot my shot?"
Rah looked at him with challenge in his eyes, "You can try, not sure you'll succeed."
Makoa clapped his hands together, "Alright and there's our answer, and yours. We'll catch you later Rah."
Raheem hit Ron's shoulder before laughing them off. The music was still going, making Jules bob her head slowly.
"Come on, let's go look at some books." He encouraged.
The shelves were decorated whimsically with murals from different students within the Fine Arts Program. A plethora of colors were splashed onto each, yet they all looked the same underneath the colored lighting.
Jules swayed lightly as she thumbed through books on the shelf. Some were worn, and some looked brand new. You had a few that smelled of old libraries, and others that smelled like the inside of a coffee shop.
"You find anything good yet?" She asked above the music.
He nodded, "Yeah I got mine."
"Can I see it?" She questioned.
"Not until you find one for me."
She groaned, "I can't even have a hint?"
He laughed over the sound of Drake's 'Controlla', "You don't seem to take those well."
Jules stuck up her middle finger with a smirk as she skimmed the other side of the shelf. She looked for more, occasionally getting lost from Rah's eyesight throughout the crowd of people.
None of the poetry she came across seemed to call his name like she often did. The game was hard, and she wondered why he'd found her's so easily.
Did he even try? She wondered.
Or was she just that easy to read?
As she grew a bit agitated, she decided to focus on him and all that he made her feel when he was next to her. She remembered the way he brushed her hair, held her more than once, or recited poetry over crowds of people for her.
She centered all of this as she searched for a book. Lo' and behold, after a few minutes, she'd found it.
The music from the speakers got louder before the smell of cinnamon and nutmeg became more apparent from the bar just a few steps away. Christmas lights were strung over the countertops as people guzzled down drinks.
You like it
When I get, aggressive, tell you to
Go slower, go faster
Like controlla, controlla
Jules felt a chill right behind her. Two hands went over either side of the bookshelf and her while gripping the wood tightly for balance.
Out of all the people in the room, she knew his presence.
His mouth was near her ear. It was minty and held the temperature of unexpected arousal.
"You find anything for me yet?" He asked.
She turned to face him, underestimating how close he'd be upon arrival. His face was nearly above hers as he looked down.
Jules nodded before backing into the case, the wood and the rest of the books rubbing against the back of her jacket as her breath slowed. She held the book to her chest as he looked into his eyes.
Rah held his hand out, his gaze not breaking from her, "Can I see it?"
"Yeah," She said while clearing her throat, "She pushed the book into his chest to back him up a few feet."
Raheem took it from his chest and turned it toward him. He read the title out loud.
"The Language we Cry in, by Delicia Daniels." He looked please while nodding, "Good choice."
"Now where's mine," She asked while extending her hip to the side. Jules placed both hands on them to emphasize her question.
"Your patience is truly something to study Jules," He responded before handing her the book face down, "Here."
She felt along the edges before flipping it over, reading the title out loud as she scanned the cover.
"The Language we Cry in, by Delicia Daniels." She read slowly.
Jules looked back up at Raheem as she spoke, "So what does this mean?"
He held his head a little higher before looking her over, "You tell me."
The Soul Cypher had quieted down after Jules and Raheem had taken their seats. They were both at a table close enough to the stage to talk to anyone on it.
Raheem greeted the poets he knew occasionally as they walked by while Jules snacked on some honey jalapeño french fries.
She savored the spicy-sweet crunch in her mouth as the aroma of nectar wafted around her nose.
People were now playing a game onstage as poets offered to come up.
"You see the object of it is for two poets to come up, they may know each other -- they may not. The MC, my boy Ron, gives them a topic and they pass sentences back and forth off the top of their head while trying to make one make sense as much as the other." Raheem explained before taking one of her fries.
"That seems like a headache waiting to happen," She admitted while eating another fry.
"Not really," He told her, "It's all about attention, balance, and flow."
Jules crunched on two fries as the MC announced the end of the round with two poets. She offered them claps between chews and laughed as the two men onstage bowed in a goofy manner.
"Alright," Ron stretched out into the microphone, "Who wants next?"
Jules looked around as she waited for the next pair to raise their hands. She took a sip of her root beer before placing the drink back on a coaster.
The sweet vanilla taste of the soda washed down the savor of the fries.
"We do," Raheem raised his hand across from Jules.
She tried her best to scoot over to him, grabbing ahold of his bicep to force it down. Yet every time she got his arm flat on the table, he raised it back up.
"And it looks like the Mack is back in the building y'all, with a new friend that looks like she wants to strangle the shit out of his ass! Y'all give it up for the two as they walk on up here." Ron spoke into the microphone.
"Remind me why I haven't killed you yet," She asked while standing from her chair.
"Too much of a mess to clean up." He answered with a smirk.
She followed his lead up to the stage.
While the lighting had switched to a cool blue, the lights were still warm overhead. Jules crossed her arms over her chest to close herself off from the crowd that looked dead at her.
She faced Raheem, as he faced her -- waiting for whatever topic Ron was to spin from his ass.
"Okay Soul Cypher -- we've got Raheem McDaniels here and..."
"Jules Caddell." She informed Ron while turning her head to him.
"Jules Caddell y'all. We're going to thank these two soldiers for coming up here to share some soul! Now that we've got our volunteers, we're going to get on to what they're going to rap about."
Jules waited for the answer as she stared at Raheem. He looked back at her with the same intensity, making the lights feel even warmer.
"Waiting," Ron said slowly for dramatics, "Remember Soul Family -- it can deep, cheap, or freaked, as long as you speak. Let's give these two the floor. Rah, you can have the first words."
She couldn't escape his eyes, as they seemed to be the key component to understanding whatever the hell she was going to say next after him.
Her mouth took a long inhale, before exhaling deeply. Raheem was to make the first move, and she tried to keep up in any way that she could.
I waited for you
in fields of white
that resembled the outlines of your eyes
that i first got lost in, when i saw you.
I ran to you,
with open palms,
wide wounds,
and a tattered heart —
because i knew it something like you existed,the feeling of pain could be
something that wasn't so constant.
I found you,
when all else was lost —
you kissed my tired head
and crowned it worthy
of your embrace.
I knew you
before I met you,
I spoke of you,
before I saw you.
I loved you,
before you uttered my name.
The two were still stuck in the same place as the crowd cheered, some giving compliments with the route they went when implementing tone.
The truth was, neither knew what to say while reciting. There was no script, nothing to lean back on, nothing at all to expect. Only words they deemed appropriate for each other.
"That," Ron spoke from his side of the stage, "Is how you tell someone how you feel."
• • •
The night looked eerie. Fog swam amongst the ground while streetlights made a way for dark corners to find luminance. The red lights from the inside of Soul Cypher leaked onto the street and made rectangular portals of crimson.
It smelled of copper and the nearest pizza joint. Garlic, parmesan, and marina wafted among the scent of a previous rinsing of the earth.
Jules and Raheem had made their way outside, wanting to escape from the cypher but not wanting to head back to campus. They were tossing questions back and forth to occupy the time.
This felt good, peaceful.
"So there's this quote," Raheem started to tell her, "it says that to love, is to destroy."
Jules shrugged with her arms crossed, "What would you like me to do with that information?"
He chuckled, "What do you think of it? You believe it's true?"
She thought to herself. Jules had welcomed platonic and familial love into her heart. Romantic love was something she studied, because she knew nothing of it.
Only that those who've been able to experience it lucky, no matter the outcome.
"What type of love?" She asked.
"Romantic." He answered while kicking a rock in their path.
"I guess that being totally consumed with something can tend to consume you too, which can taint who you are in the end. So yes, I guess."
"Consumption doesn't always have to be bad." He told her.
"How come?"
"I think it's brave to open yourself to something like that without being afraid. Being able to love so hard that you can't help but to feel it in every fiber of your essence. Love can be a type of power if used correctly, destroying the worst parts of ourselves rather than the best." He told her.
"And you believe that, through and through?" She asked.
"Slowly," He glanced over at her as they walked, "but surely."
"What do you want to be," Jules asked him while looking back, "More than anything in the world?"
He hesitated before answering, starting his words with his gaze on the ground and then returning it to her, "Honest."
Raheem tossed the question back to Jules, "What about you? What would you like to be?"
"Myself," she told him while looking at the ground, "for once."
Raheem stopped their walk, taking his time to turn to her. His warm hands lifted her chin toward him.
The rings on his finger were cold, but somewhat soothing.
"Well, I think you're doing a hell of a job Caddell."
The moonlight rippled among their faces, leaving a silver glow on the curves on their cheeks. The air was cold, but all Jules felt was the undeniable warmth within his eyes.
He ran the back of his fingers down the side of her face before trailing them under her jaw. His head lifted as he looked down at her with ardor in his pupils. Something about him felt heavy, in a good way.
Heavy enough to create a lump in Jules throat that she had to swallow. He smelled of anise and clary sage; the aroma intense enough to cast something in her knees to make them weak.
His eyes brows softened as his eyes kissed every inch of Jules' face, moving slowly down each feature -- each line and indent in skin.
It was as if someone had held a magnifying glass to her face and enlarged everything. If she wasn't so taken by the sensuous look on his face, she'd feel a self conscious.
To cool the fire inside their closeness that burned the earth around them, the rain came. Slowly, at first, consistently last.
Jules closed her eyes as the droplets pelted her head while Raheem lifted his head to the heavens.
He smiled lusciously, like he'd planned it.
"Let's get out of the rain." Jules suggested as she started to walk to the side.
Raheem stopped Jules by her waist, pulling her closer in the attempt to get her to remain in place. Their faces were a twinkling star apart.
The feeling of Raheem's persistent grip on her lower half made a chill flutter past the top of her cheeks.
"No, let's stay." He urged, one hand on her waist as the other held the side of her face intently.
Jules didn't fight his suggestion, neither did she disrupt what came next.
Raheem inched closer as the rain started to pour harder. The two were soaked beyond measure, clothing dripping in passion and sweet paradise.
"Do it," Jules told him softly as she looked him over with more temptation than she could contain, "I know you want to."
There was enough electricity between their lips colliding to draw lighting from the sky. It wasn't quick, like the first one.
This one was slow, deep --- enough to make Raheem hold onto the side of her neck to keep it straight.
If he'd pull her any closer, they would've melted into each other. She could feel the dominance that often faded when she was with him.
Their heads moved in agreement while their tongues served as the burning sun to the enthralling moon.
Jules could feel Raheem's hands start to wonder around her back, there was too much energy to keep them still.
Then, there came the thunder -- causing them both to snap their heads up in harmony.
Jules couldn't keep the laugh that erupted from her mouth in regarding their startled state, and soon after neither did Rah.
"Now why is it that I'm always with you, I leave wetter than I've arrived?" She questioned.
Raheem chuckled, "I guess I have that effect on people."
Jules rolled her eyes before attempting to push him into a puddle. Yet, Raheem wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down with him as she screamed in humorous horror.
That night, it rained harder than it did for the past few weeks. The heavens drowned lakes and created rivers of puddles. The streets were slippery, and the smell of gingerbread was overpowered by the scent of wet clay and dirt.
It watered the gardens, tended to the dormant trees, and reminded Jules that there would be something to marvel at after the storm.
• • •
The next morning, as the sun signaled the wake of day and the will to rise, Jules found herself craving potato chips she didn't have.
She lifted from her sheets, a lacy and satin chemise crawled up her thigh. Jules shivered as her feet hit the cold floor.
Her hands rustled around in her tote for a dollar. Upon spotting, she straighten it out before heading over to unlock the dorm room door.
Jules cleared her throat as she slipped into house shoes and a matching robe that fell at her knees. Her arms bundled it up over her body as she was met with the chill of the air conditioning from the hallway.
As she turned to shut the door behind her, her brown eyes perked up at the sight of something unexpected.
Her hands felt around yet another card with an smoky rose taped to it.
Two of the twelve, she thought, ten more to go.
She read the writing on the card.
While Raheem didn't seem like it, his cursive was timeless. It looked as if he'd spent his whole life writing letters, perfecting every swirl — every line, every space.
I thought of the rain, it read, And that made me think of you.
Hey babies! I don't have a temperature check for this update — as winter break for Baldwin U starts soon and I will have hella questions for y'all as all that unfolds.
Just two things! I found that the song for this chapter perfectly describes Rah and Jules — pls debate with your aunties.
Also, if I don't update here — I'm usually updating my urban fantasy book, "The Golden Craft." If you ever want something to read between my updates, you can tap into that or the reading list I provided y'all with that holds soooo many amazing authors of color!
Also — I couldn't NOT just post this (I'll probably delete the picture in a few days because I hate leaving media in books that don't belong but) are you shitting me?