A/N- what if Alec saw Jocelyn instead if Clary?
TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS IF DEATH
Alec POV
A bright ball of light appeared at the other end of the hall, but where was it coming from? He walked towards it and it moved. He was quite confused as to why he could see it. No one else appeared to notice it. The light moved around the corner and he followed. When he got around the corner, it disappeared under a door. He didn't really know who's room it was so he just walked inside. When he closed the door, the light was blinding. He lifted his hand from the doorknob to shield his eyes. When the light had dulled down completely, he removed his hand, and what he saw shook him to his core.
It was Jocelyn, standing in the middle of the room, looking as if she was never dead in the first place. "Alec?" She had said. Alec fell to the floor. "I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry," he said between sobs. He repeated it over and over until he was silenced by Jocelyn. "I've come to send you a message, from the angels. They say that I'll be the only person you'll listen to in these circumstances," she said. He stood back up again. "We've seen all the work you've done for the downworlders, and even though they aren't his blood, Raziel is proud of you. But they have also seen what youve done to yourself, and you know better than anyone what mental health can do to a shadowhunter. You have survivors guilt," she said. "Survivors guilt because if you," he said. Jocelyn nodded. "I'm not mad at you, for what you did," she said. Alec thought he had gotten over it, that he was fine, but hearing it from Jocelyn made it better. "Live your life for the both of us, okay?" She said. The bright light returned and when that was gone, so was she. "But what if I-" he said as he opened his eyes. "Can't," he finished, noticing that she wasnt there. He fell to his knees again and sobbed.