"felix don't leave me" hyunjin cried while the younger boy was wrapped in his arms while lying on hyunjins bed. changbin and chan went out to catch up leaving the two bestfriends to have some time alone as well.
"i'll be back before you know it...until then i'm leaving chan to take care of you-
"fel-"
"before you start complaining, this does not mean i trust him or forgive him for what he did. i only did this because i'm giving him your money that i usually send you. that means you won't be able to buy more drugs with it."
hyunjin didn't respond, because underneath his foggy mind and a brain effected by a mind controlling drug, he knew this was the right thing to do. no matter how strong his hatred towards chan was, he knew that this was the best option available.
"come on, wipe your tears jinnie. you're too pretty to cry" felix said, wiping away the tears off hyunjins red cheeks, ignoring the fact he had tears of his own trickling down his face. the silence soon overcame their sniffles as hyunjin slowly drifted off into sleep. as for felix, he kept his eyes open knowing his boyfriend would be back anytime soon. he was unsure about the success rate of his plan, only hoping that having chan take care of him was the right choice. they were known for getting physically violent with each other, but felix could see the guilt that was brewing within chan, he'd be praying that nobody would get too hurt.
time when by and eventually changbin and chan arrived back to a quiet dorm where the two boys had fallen asleep in each other's arms. "they're cute" changbin smiled as both males stood near the resting boys.
"yeah...we'll you guys should get going. i think your boyfriend wants me to have a talk with hyunjin so i guess i'll mentally prepare for that" he joked, although in all seriousness it would take some mental prepping. it was a important conversation that would lead to permanent changes in the addicts life.
changbin leaned down and brushed felixs hair away from his eyes, in hopes the action itself would wake him. which it did. felix sat up and glanced at the time, not realizing he had fallen asleep in the first place. he got the memo it was time to leave, that being said he woke up the addict to say his goodbyes.
"hyunjinnie" he called out while sitting up. the movement itself had shaken the addict awake. once he noticed everyone was back in the room, he came to realization that it was time for his best friend to leave. his resting face fell to a frown while giving felix a farewell hug.
"come back for me soon" he whispered.
"as soon as i can, i'll be back. i promise." felix would have to contact his parents an brother to help him get rid of the restraining order, and after some time of thinking, he planned to go there right now and ask them. of course it was too late in the evening to go to court, but at least it would be one step closer.
"i love you, like a lot. and i missed you. thank you for seeing me today." hyunjin squeezed felix in the hug before letting go and placing a friendly peck on his cheek.
"i love you too, hyunjin. now can you promise me one thing while i'm gone" hyunjin nodded. "cooperate with chan. i know, i hate him too but, do it for me. do it for you." felix let go of hyunjins hand he was subconsciously holding onto.
"i'll do it for us"
...
it had been an hour since felix and changbin left, yet hyunjin hadn't moved. he was conflicted weather or not he could keep his promise to felix. cooperating with chan seemed quite unrealistic to him, and personally he didn't want to, but that's something felix knew when telling him.
"hyunjin?"
"what the fuck do you want now?" hyunjin growled, although it had been only an hour, he was quite over having the elders presence around him already.
"we need to talk. about what felix said to me in the bathroom."
"he already told me, i know you have my money blah blah blah" at the moment, the addict wasn't in the mood for speaking with chan just yet. he was too busy mourning over the fact he had only spent so little time with felix and the boy had already left him. he left him and now he was alone again. despite the presence of the elder male, he still felt alone. someome who has caused him so much pain and suffering would never complete the empty space he longed for to be filled.
"can you stop with the rude attitude? for fuck sake i'm just trying to help" it wasn't a stern tone, more like a beg with an underlying hint of aggression. although he had come to an understanding that he was in the wrong, the fact he was trying to make it right and the younger boy was not cooperating did not help the situation at all.
"die"
"you're being childish" chan stated, only to be flipped off by hyunjin. he thought if the addict would talk to him, maybe they could come to at least a bit of better terms.
"you're not my parent so stop acting like one." hyunjin rolled over in his bed, now facing the wall to avoid the elders somewhat intimidating stare.
chan Let out a long sigh, he didn't see himself like he was acting like a parent of the attic, but he was in charge of him. not fully, of course he would still have free will, but hyunjin needed to understand that if someone like chan weren't willing to finally step foot and make some rules, his condition would only worsen. the thought did come to chans mind that hyunjin never had the type of parents he did. The boys parents had failed him, failed themselves, and manage to be an extravagant amount of the boys pain and suffering. although he did not like that show on the surface, everyone knew deep down it was a major factor of the very beginning of his addiction. "well i'm at least trying to do a better job than they ever did." he muttered.
hyunjin really hated his ears for not blocking out the ignorant man. although he was partially right, it is extremely disrespectful to bring up how someone's parents treated them as a child. hyunjin always wanted to except the fact that his parents were horrible people, but his mind always told him that at least they partially took action in the bare minimum so they could've been worse. but for Chan to point that out and say HE of all people was doing a better job than they did? what an extremely false accusation, is someone who has called you nothing but a waste of space your entire life really doing better than his parents that at least said "i love you" sometimes, even if they never meant it? no, and hyunjin couldn't bare the fact chan even thought of himself in this situation like that. it angered him. "wow...and i'm the being childish? look at you being a fucking ASSHOLE every chance you get."
hyunjin sat up looking at the male intensely, to the point chan knew if he said one wrong word he would most likely get at least a punch to the face. "i'm sorry, you're right. i shouldn't have brought up your parents but hyunjin please just work with me, i guess i kinda want to see you better."
"do you really? because last i remember, i'm just a waste of space. nothing but a druggie freak that you'd rather have kill themself that help them out."
"hyun-"
"save it chan. just give me space and go to sleep." he was stressed. he thought to himself that maybe he did take this situation a little out of proportion, but his feelings and emotions drove the way, it's not like he had control of what he was saying anyways. his mind was fuzzy and his skin was itching, so he did what he knew best. he sat up and walked over to his dresser.
he pulled out a syringe and prepped by filling it with the drug of his choice, being the one he was addicted to of course, heroin. next he squeezed his arm and tightened his fist to make his veins more visible before injecting the needle into the largest vein he could spot in the crease of his arm. slowly he pulled back the plunger to see if he actually hit a vein, once he saw the syringe begin to fill with deep red blood, he pushed down allowing the toxic substance to enter his bloodstream.
it was a higher dosage that he usually took. he just wanted to be rid of his problems momentarily, he wanted to drift off. with his knowledge that a higher dosage often disconnects you from those around you, causing to go experience a kind of floating, dream-like state, he injected as much he thought his body could take without overdosing.
it's true, it did help him float into that euphoric state he never wanted to leave, but deep down he knew he was slowly killing himself with his actions. at this point he wasn't sure if he cared or not. lately things have just seemed a bit more stressful than usual, was it because people were actually starting to care, or was it because he thought they were too late to save him anyways?