Over the following days, I almost wished I was Obliviated. I could stuff away things but not my thoughts. Every morning I awoke with Hogwarts in my mind and in the evenings before falling asleep, all kinds of unwelcomed magical memories floated through my brain. For a while, I felt disoriented waking up in my own room and not the dormitory in the Gryffindor tower.
Slowly I was getting used back to my family's modest meals, the view from the window of my bedroom that was streets and houses instead of treetops and mountains, and the house that seemed so small compared to the vasts of the castle. Returning to the ordinary Muggle life was harder than I expected and the world that was forbidden to me almost never left my head.
Certainly, there were some nice aspects as well. I had missed my parents like crazy and loved spending time with them, catching up with stuff in the house I had missed out on. I was free to roam the Internet once again and get lost in its endless, entertaining content. I was back into my familiar neighborhood where I knew every corner and felt safe, at least for those few days.
I went to high school and managed to come to an agreement with the headmaster I would be able to get my diploma if I passed the final tests in all the subjects. Which meant I had to start studying like crazy and without the help of teachers because technically I was expelled from school for being absent so long. First, it seemed like an impossible task, but then I remembered I have been through worse and accepted the deal.
As I thought about how I was going to organize my individual study process, the words of the Sorting Hat echoed into my head " Good mind, you're smart with creative ideas and a desire to discover ". I personally had never seen it in me but who was I to argue with the observations of an ancient magical being that had considered putting me in Ravenclaw with scholars.
I wasn't purposely seeking reunions with my old friends but one sunny autumn day I ran into Alex. He was a former classmate of mine who graduated this summer while I was hiding in Hogwarts. Back in school, we had an amiable and fun relationship. Alex was a natural jokester and everyone loved him, except for teachers whose classes he sometimes interrupted with his booming laughter and inappropriate comments. He was a little shorter than me with a round face, dimples in his cheeks, and sparkling, hazel eyes.
After giving me a sincere hug, Alex wanted to know where I was the entire year. Of course, he did want to know that. And I knew that alongside all of his good qualities, Alex was also an incorrigible prattler. Whatever you told him was in everyone's ears pretty soon.
" It's complicated, " I answered, " it had to do with my wellbeing. I had to leave town. "
" Why? " Alex asked, strolling next to me, his hands in the pockets of his loose jeans, and laughed. " Were you hunted by a hitman or something? A drug cartel? "
I smiled back. Alex didn't know how close he actually was to the truth. I was hunted indeed. However, by something much more powerful than a hitman or a drug baron.
" Not quite. I had...something like a situational depression. Maybe the stress of last year of school and uncertainty about what I was going to do next fucked me up, I don't know. The doctor believed the change of environment would benefit me the most. "
Alex listened, kicking the fallen leaves as he walked. They dissolved into slippery mush under our sports shoes. The day was hazy, the morning mist didn't go away even though it was afternoon already and the sun was shining right through it, creating an illusion of a cloud landing over the town. On the pavement there were puddles left by the last night's rainfall and the sun reflected in them, shooting the blinding rays right into the eyes. We walked around them, now too grown to march right through like we did in childhood.
" Well, damn, " Alex said, slipping his hand into the pocket and pulling out a half-empty pack of cigarettes, " was it really that serious that you had to skip the entire school year? "
I shrugged, accepting the cigarette he offered. " It was either that or the nuthouse. "
Alex's eyes widened in an unmistakable surprise as he was fishing for a lighter in his other pocket. " Bullshit, Thomas! No way you were that sick. You're not that type of loony. Are you alright now? "
I nodded. " Medicine does wonders. The shittiest thing is that now I have to study by myself to make up for the year and get that diploma. Everything else is a small matter. "
We shared the lighter and stopped for a moment to smoke. The benches were just as wet as the streets and we leaned against the big trees at the entrance of the park. I wasn't a regular smoker but enjoyed a puff every now and then. I liked the bitterness of the tobacco and the smell of the smoke. And I already knew I was going to receive a hollering from my mother today. Her nose was like that of a Bloodhound and she could always tell when I had smoked.
" Since you have returned, " Alex said, exhaling a huff of whitish-grey smoke, " wanna leap back into the life of entertainment? "
" Like what? "
He smirked. " The Rattling Rat? "
A sudden gush of nostalgia rushed over me. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about it. The Rattling Rat was an underground night club, located in a narrow, obscure alleyway where no person usually came round during the day. It first opened 3 years ago and immediately became a hot topic in schools.
Little was known about it, the information was spread not through the official news but from person to person only. It was very different from the other night clubs that stood in open view, showered in all the colors of the rainbow, frankly inviting people in. The Rattling Rat was hidden in the darkness of the alleyway with nothing on the exterior but a plain wooden board with the club's name on it and a rusty metal door. No glowing neon signs, no fancy designed letters, nothing. Shrouded in mystery, the club allured the youth like a bright light bulb attracts moths.
The amber at the end of my cigarette lighted up lustrously. " Is it still working? "
" Sure. Why wouldn't it? The public has changed a little but overall it's still the same old Rattling Rat. The girls, Thomas! You won't believe it. Seems like all the babes from the big clubs have finally discovered the Rattling Rat. "
I was nodding in agreement, trying to figure out if I was interested or not. The last time I visited the Rattling Rat, I was a different Thomas. I was someone who had never witnessed magic and had never been with a guy. Now I knew I was at least bisexual. But nobody else had to know that, especially Alex who was changing his girlfriends like socks.
" When are we going? "
Alex shook the ashes off and put off the remaining small piece of cigarette. " Tonight. I, Oliver, and Noah with Emily will be going. Come with us. "
He said the names of our mutual classmates. Apparently, they were all still hanging out together even after graduation. I agreed, wanting to see their faces and find out what they have been up to. Before I had been visiting the club for entirely different reasons. I just wanted to drink, dance, and have fun. Today I knew that deep down inside, I was hoping that the Rattling Rat would bring up a magical feeling in me. It truly was a very special night club.
When the Rattling Rat first opened to visitors, rumors started to fly around. Teens were talking about many different, even ridiculous theories, like a certain sacrifice of blood that must be given before entering the club, collected by the owners themselves, or cases of people entering the club and never coming out. Because of the lack of facts, no one knew for sure, but everyone wanted to know what's going on in there, including me. I was almost 16 years old when I first visited the Rattling Rat.
The night club was, of course, meant for adults only. You had to be over the age of 18 to enter, so technically we weren't allowed in. However, soon we learned that whether we were let in or not really depended on the bouncer. If we were lucky, the bouncer was this kindhearted dude who simpered and allowed us to enter, though he clearly saw we're underage. But sometimes in front of the door, there was a douchebag who was always asking for ID and never yielded, even after we humbly asked. In those cases, we could do nothing but go straight back home.
I remembered that my first impression of the concealed night club wasn't necessarily the best. After finally getting in, I thought that this place was really shady and seriously considered leaving. It took a while for my eyes to adjust to the dimmed lighting. The Rattling Rat was accommodated in the basement and had the accordingly creepy, underground vibe to it. Electric cords were hanging from the ceiling and pipes were bent all over the walls like eerie decorations. Vintage loudspeakers were placed on every corner, they vibrated from the sound. On the right side stood a little bar counter with few stools and quite a large variety of bottles.
On a little stage at the back of the room, a local rock band was playing live music and everyone was jumping in the rhythm of pure rock. There wasn't a lot of space and people were crashing into each other as they danced without batting an eye. Eventually, the fear of the first-timer left me and I joined the others on the dance floor. And time flew like a straw in a wild wind.
From that day on the Rattling Rat became a rare, sacred, and secret trip for me. I knew my parents would never allow me to go to a night club at the age of 16, so I lied about staying over at my friend's place, when in reality I, Alex, and a couple of friends sneaked through the dark streets to the club. The more people in the group, the bigger was the chance of entering, as bouncers found it too time-consuming to check the age of everyone. From time to time we were denied access to the club and then I actually stayed at someone's place. Miraculously, my parents never found out about this mischievous habit of mine.
The Rattling Rat was a safe haven for those whose alternative mentalities were different from the normal world. The main visitors were people, escaping the boredom and dullness of everyday life. There they came upon the muddle of the new age where consumerism mixed with poverty and free-thinking with prejudices. Teens who found discipline and system to be a burden were also gathering there and the 90ties had opened a sluice to the branches of music that came like a tidal wave – indie, metal, punk rock.
Every time I was in the club felt like walking on the edge of a blade because sometimes I wondered if this place was legal. There had been police inspections when they walked into the club to check what's going on. I enjoyed the rebellious thrill of possibly getting caught in the night club as an underage kid, but that never happened. In the Rattling Rat, I felt free and happy and I desperately wanted to experience it again.
The night club opened at 9 pm and I started to get ready shortly before. The Rattling Rat had no dress code, you could see all kinds of clothing there, from sneakers and sweatpants to gowns and tuxedos. The atmosphere was relaxed and one could probably get inside even covering with a leaf only. I chose a simple sweater, jeans, and sports shoes with comfort above everything else.
" Dress properly, it's getting cold outside, " my mother reminded, sitting by the sewing machine and making new decorative pillows for the sofa. " And don't get drunk. "
" Don't get too drunk, " my father whispered, as he winked and smiled at me from over his newspaper.
I smiled back. As conservative as he was in other matters, my father had no problems with me going out, partying, and having a drink or two. In that case, he understood me. I hadn't had any alcohol for more than a year and was surprised at how much I actually craved it.
Halfway to the club, I met up with my friends who all wished to hug me and feel me as if to make sure I was really here. Alex was already tipsy and announced loudly that Thomas was having " a little issue with his head. " Noah held his arm around his girlfriend Emily's shoulders who was shivering in her thin tights, high heel shoes, and leather mini skirt. Oliver, one of the smartest kids in the class, looked at me with his eyes sparkling in pure homecoming joy. I enjoyed seeing him as well. Nobody had changed a lot, aside from a few insignificant alterations like a different hairstyle.
The five of us walked through the nightly streets towards the nightclub, this time without any hiding, legally allowed to do it and I almost hoped that someone would ask for my ID. On the way, we emptied a couple of beers each and I felt my brain releasing a nice rush and my mood lifting as the dopamine filled my body. A warm and fuzzy sensation overfilled me and just for this night, I didn't give a damn about all the troubles I was facing.
We were talking and laughing. I was around people who were just like me, people who didn't carry wands in their pockets, studied in an ordinary school, had ordinary families and goldfish as pets instead of owls. Neither of them could do something I couldn't. We were all the same, regular people who didn't have magic coursing in our blood. We were all Muggles. Mudbloods, as some would say.
Alex was chatting with Oliver, and Noah and Emily didn't stop kissing even when walking. A dark autumn night thickened around us, illuminated by the pale white street lights only. Gusts of wind soughed through the town, raising the wet leaves into miniature tornadoes and I regretted not listening to my mother and not dressing more warmly. A few dozen windows were still bright in the tall bodies of the blocks of flats. We walked past the church, quiet and locked. God had abandoned the town for the night.
A few cars whirred by and there were hardly any other people on the streets. That's why I noticed movement on the street across from us. Hidden in the shadows behind the oak there stood a humanlike figure. At first, I didn't pay much attention, thinking it was probably some drunk or homeless, who couldn't find a place for themselves tonight. But when we moved, the person on the other side did too. I kept glancing from the corner of my eye every now and then, not wanting the stranger to know I have noticed them but keeping an eye on them at the same time.
We passed a street pole and when the light of the lamp briefly slid over the figure that was following us, my eyes widened with alarm.
It was a cloaked, hooded person, dressed in black from head to toe, and where the face should be, they had a mask on. A gruesome, silvery mask with nothing but snake-like slits for eyes. Their hands were hidden somewhere in the folds of their clothing and they never stayed behind. My heart hammered in my chest as this gave me serial killer vibes. It wasn't Halloween yet to walk around in masks.
" Do you guys see that? " I asked, turning my friends' attention to the strange figure that mimicked our steps across the street.
Everybody stopped and looked around for a while, seemingly startled, maybe expecting to see someone with a gun or knife, someone naked, someone trying to commit suicide, or just something unusual.
" What? " Noah said, his eyes wandering over the opposite street walk. He looked bored.
" That guy over there. He's been following us for a while now. "
I didn't know if that was male or female. I could only approximately judge by the robust body shape that didn't look to be female's. Now the person was standing motionless, facing us, looking straight at us. I fought with rising panic and didn't know why. After all, there were five of us and just one of him. We could take him down pretty easily if it came to that.
Alex furrowed his brows and looked at me in confusion. " There's no one there, Thomas. What are you talking about? "
My throat tightened at the realization. I was the only one who could see the weird, cloaked figure. All that appeared in front of my friends' eyes was just an empty street, nothing else. And I intuitively felt that the masked stranger is no friend to me. It reminded me of the dark apparitions outside the Hogwarts castle when the clock was striking midnight on my birthday.
" Are you actually that drunk from just a few beers, Thomas? " Emily laughed, her arms around her boyfriend's neck. " Normally it takes more sips for boogeymen to start hopping around. "
Noah, Alex, and Oliver giggled with her. I wasn't drunk, not yet. Emily was right – it took more for me to get actually intoxicated, a couple of beers couldn't have done it. I knew what I saw. Suddenly I got intensely afraid not as much for myself as for the safety of my friends and wanted to get them indoors as fast as possible. We were just a few meters away from the alleyway that led to the door of the Rattling Rat.
" Yeah, probably, " I forced out a smile, not wanting the others to think Alex was right about me being out of my mind, " let's go inside though. It's cold as hell out here. "
We turned around the corner and there it was – the entry to the night club I was illegally lurking to so many times. Not much had changed since the last time I was here. The metallic door seemed to be repainted and above it, a single, old-fashioned lantern cast a triangular, ghostly light. The bulb was flickering, possibly a scary effect to the already gloomy flavor of the club. At the very end of the alleyway, a famished stray cat jumped over the garbage cans, causing a loud, rattling sound. Perhaps that's where the Rattling Rat got its name from.
The bouncer was a man I didn't remember seeing before. He didn't ask for our IDs and simply stepped aside, allowing us to reach the door. I was the last one to enter the club and glancing towards the beginning of the alleyway, I saw the same figure that had followed us all the way till here. It was standing like a statue, watching, evaluating, waiting, the grotesque, face-hiding mask turned towards me. Then, with a quick swoosh, it turned into a back swirl and shot up into the sky, leaving behind a trail of black smoke that disintegrated shortly after the thing's disappearance.
I stood there, my stomach clenching, looking at the opening of the alleyway, empty as if nothing had even been there. It wasn't, couldn't be human. And if it was, it definitely wasn't a human like me. Where did it go? Will it return? And why no one else was able to see it?
" Are you coming in or what? " the bouncer asked impatiently. He obviously didn't love his job very much.
" I am, " I answered, pushing past the door opening into the club. I glimpsed at the alleyway one more time. Empty.