When I woke up I was still laying on the couch, with a blanket covering me, the fireplace was still on but when I sat up no one was in the room. Loki must've left. I sat up and looked around me confused, but then I just sat looking into the fire again, I started thinking about being here and got lost in thoughts.
I really felt how fast I've grown to the people here, Natasha was like the best friend I never had before, Tony and Steve were basically acting like dads all the time, Clint and Thor always acted like brothers and Loki... I didn't exactly know what was happening between us. He felt like a best friend too but different from Nat.
I promised myself not to fall in love when I was younger, and I was still holding on to that, I was warm and happy around these people, but I didn't trust them as much as I would like to do. It also felt really weird how open and nice they were to me, wouldn't they be more careful if they really didn't know me?
Some things went too fast, they put too much trust in me yet they have a kind of fear for the things I say or do. Some choices didn't add up with what they knew about me and it made me suspicious.
'Stop overthinking'
'Well if I could I would'
'You can, now stop it'
I sat up from the couch and went to the kitchen to drink some water. It also felt really weird how Loki was being more open towards me, than to Tony and the others he was so distant and cold, but I never understood him.
I didn't think I could ever understand him. He can be sweet and caring one moment, and be an ass the next one. But he was showing some sort of attention to me that I didn't understand. It felt more sincere than everyone else though.
I went to my room after I finished my water, and I also found a bag with marshmallows, and I still needed to taste those like Steve told me before. I laid on my carpet in front of the window feeling the stitches on my torso from the operation.
I listened to music on the speakers and asked Jarvis to play Sufjan Stevens
It was from an album my dad listened to a lot in the evening, I could hear it from the basement coming through the floors, those were the only times I could listen to music for a long time, and I always loved it.
I ate some marshmallows, I liked them, and they were soft like Steve said, they just were too sweet for my liking.
I really was overthinking a lot, when I first got here I was scared, but I warmed up to them out of excitement and because I had nowhere else to go, but now, when I got to know the world, everything started feeling weird.
Like it wasn't real or like I didn't know everything, maybe they already knew me, before they rescued me. I decided I wanted to go for a walk, so I changed into my gym clothes and put an oversized sweater on top of that, I walked out of the building, I didn't see anyone on the way out.
Where even were they?
I walked around the neighbourhood trying to find something like an abandoned building or something. After an hour of walking, I found an entry for an underground gym it was completely empty and was probably used for some sort of fight sport.
I found out there also was a top floor, also an old gym, but this one was more damaged.
I stated that this would be the best place to train my powers, I didn't want to damage Tony's gym again so that's why I was looking for this.
I took off my sweater and started running to warm up. After running I focused on my energy and controlled it as Loki trained me, I tried to hold it longer and make it bigger, and after some practise it started to improve.
I also teleported more while using my energy. After that, I decided to try and use my ice power. I sat down in the room in full concentration, I sort of meditated beforehand to keep myself in control.
I focused on making it snow. I felt energy leaving my body but I controlled it way better than before, and when I opened my eyes it was snowing in the room. I stood up and made it snow harder, I laughed and started jumping around dancing through the snow, happy I could control it better.
I would have to practise more so I could actually use it during fights or something. I concentrated again trying to make it a storm, I would have to unlock my wind power, but I could do that semi already.
So after closing my eyes and doing the same thinking process I could feel the cold wind breezing along my body and I smiled. I started to use more wind and made the snow water, so now it was an inside rainstorm.
'This is amazing'
I was so excited that I let go of the power for a moment and the storm went away. For the next 2 hours, I trained all my elements, I could even hold a fireball in my hands and fire it in a direction, I set the whole room on fire but I made it rain so the damage wasn't too bad.
When I was done I was exhausted and I started walking back to the tower, and when I was in the entry door to go inside I teleported to my room.
'Stupid bitch'
'Now I'm really tired'
I looked up and noticed Steve standing at the door opening.
"When did you come back?" He asked angrily and concerned. "Just now," I responded tiredly.
"Where'd you go?" He said still irritated. "I went for a walk," I said unsure why he was mad and I felt myself going into defence.
"You've been gone for 3 hours and didn't bother to tell us?" He asked walking towards me. Why was he acting like this? Wasn't I allowed to leave?
'Something isn't right'
It didn't feel the way it should, it didn't feel like I got home after curfew, but like I just violated the law.
"Where were you? when I woke up I couldn't find anybody, so I just went for a walk!" I spoke slightly irritated. "We were out and forgot to tell you," He said unsure of himself.
"You are the worst liar ever," I told him angrily and he shut up and stared at me kind of scared. I didn't get the whole point at this point, what was he lying about?
"And also, you never take Loki on a mission, so where was he?" I asked again. I knew Loki didn't train to control my mind reading, but I focused for a moment and tried to hear Steve's thoughts.
'I can't tell her, but I'm the worst liar, why couldn't Nat find her? Tony is going to kill me if we spoiled the surprise for her'
'Well, this is my fault'
Steve looked around tensely and tried to think of something.
"We went to get ice cream together..." He said uncertainly. I paused and looked Steve in the eyes for a moment and pretended to be sad. "And you didn't get me any?" I acted disappointed. Steve's face went to one of surprise.
'Did she really believe that?'
'No, I didn't'
"No... I'm sorry I will get you some next time," He said still hesitant, but I sighed convincing him. "Okay thank you, I'm sorry for disappearing," I acted the shit out of this.
'I could play Juliet better than Juliet herself'
'I'm not funny'
'No, but I am a good actress'
'That I am'
"That's okay for now, we will see you at dinner?" Steve asked walking back again
"Yes, see you then!" I yelled after him. I was relieved he left so now I could relax a little while before dinner.
'Did I already eat today?'
'I drank tea'
'It counts'
'No, it doesn't'
I laid on the carpet again looking out the window to the setting sun thinking about the training earlier today. After a while, it was 6:14 so I stood up and went to the living room where everybody was already waiting.
"Look who decided to show up!" Clint shouted from the kitchen who apparently was cooking this evening. "Sit down Violet, we're eating pasta," Tony spoke up who gestured for me to sit next to him
"How nice..." I sighed but made a smile to not be suspicious over anything
'Flashbacks really do have great timing'
I thought as I thought of the flashback I had earlier but snapped out of it when Clint put the pan at the table.
'I'm so tired'
'I overworked myself the 3rd day out of recovery'
'Nicely done Celene'
I looked up at the table and saw Loki looking at me questioningly.
'Stop reading my mind Loki, I am fine'
'What flashback made you cringe from pasta?'
'I said stop reading my mind!' I yelled in his mind and he looked away from me.
"So I have a question," Nat spoke up looking at me who just stuffed my mouth with pasta. Guess I was hungry. "Shoot," I said after eating my mouth empty.
"I never found anything regarding your mother, only that she lost guardianship when you were 7," She spoke up. I looked at her shocked, I didn't expect that question, was I going to lie or was I going to ruin the mood?
I went for option number one.
"I... don't know why I was taken away from her, but I never saw her after that, my parents hated each other already, they divorced when I was 2 years old, so maybe that had something to do with it," I said. The whole group had their attention on me.
'I hope they bought it'
'Let's not ruin their day'
'I didn't buy it' I heard Loki's voice... again
'Remind me to kick your ass later?'
'Why aren't you honest?'
'I don't want to talk about my childhood'
'Could it be that bad? That you don't trust the people who take care of you?'
'It's not them I don't trust'
'Then-'
'Shut up Loki' I said and he stopped talking back to me. I just continued eating.
He would ask about it later, I was hoping he didn't see the flashback I got again though. We finished dinner and nobody asked any more questions. I even finished my plate because of an angry Loki who wouldn't stay out of my mind. After dinner, I went to my room and changed into my pyjama's
'Today was a good day'
'It really was'
'Then why do I feel shit?'
'Stop being dramatic'
I lay in bed trying to sleep, but my head was being overloaded, and when I fell asleep, I was haunted by nightmares.
-----Nightmare----
I saw a little girl laying in her bed hugging a teddy bear, but it wasn't me. I heard the door open behind me and I turned around, I saw myself at the age of 15 in full armour sneaking into the room, my mask covering half of my face, and my eyes were empty and dead.
Little me was holding a knife and went to walk to the girl's sleeping body, who wasn't a day over 4.
"No!" I jelled in an attempt to stop myself. I looked back to the girl who was sitting straight in bed, I was now inside the body of my 15-year-old self, I couldn't move and only watch myself stab the little screaming and crying girl.
Her screams echoed through my head after finishing killing the entire family.
-------End nightmare-----
I woke up panting, sweating and crying still hearing the screams of the people I killed for an assignment.
I walked to the sink in the bathroom and splashed my face with water to wake up from the nightmare. It was only 12:13, so I didn't sleep more than 1 hour, and I was still tired, but I was afraid of going back to sleep.
So I decided to stay up and not fall asleep. But that was easier said than done, I had 2 more nightmares in another hour and I kept sobbing. So after 2 hours of frustration, I decided to ask Loki for that tea because every time I slept with that I didn't have nightmares.
I walked in my pyjama to the elevator and asked Jarvis to take me to Loki's floor. I didn't even care about going to him in my pyjama when I was wearing sweatpants and a shirt. He slept as the only one on this floor so it was awfully quiet.
I knocked on his door and heard him say a soft "Come in," I opened the door a little bit and Saw Loki sitting on his bed reading a book. Suddenly I felt like I shouldn't have gone to him for help, since when did I need help?
"What do you want Thor?" Loki asked irritated not looking up from his book. "Well...." I started unsure of what to say. Loki looked up in surprise at seeing me in the doorway.
"Celene? what's wrong?" He asked wondering what I was doing here since I never came to him for help, at least not in the middle of the night. I just stood there not really sure how to ask for help. How must I have looked standing in his room in the middle of the night with red puffy eyes in my pyjama?
'weak'
"Celene?" Loki asked worriedly.
"Yeah- I was just... I couldn't sleep... and I thought that... But it's unnecessary really... I didn't think..." I tried to explain, in which I failed miserably. Talking was really hard?
"Come in, close the door," Loki said confidently. "But-..." I started swinging with my hands not really sure what he was doing. "You're asking for my help right?" He asked. I just nodded my head in yes while looking at my hands.
"You couldn't sleep because of nightmares?" Loki asked again. I looked up at him not sure why I should tell him, but again I just nodded my head yes. "Just, come here," Loki signalled for me to sit on the bed. I closed the door and went inside his room, it was dark everywhere except for the light on the nightstand and the lights from the city.
His room wasn't a lot different from mine but it was a little bit smaller, he had a couch in front of the window and a desk on the wall across from the bed next to the bathroom door. He made me lay me on the bed properly and he sat next to me.
"I just wanted to ask you for the tea..." I said quietly. I was still shaking a little bit from the nightmares. "It will be less effective if you drink it too much, so just let me help you," Loki said while he started to lay his fingers on my temples again.
"Please don't use too much energy on me," I spoke quietly still being tired. He just looked at me disappointed. "You are really stubborn," Loki said still focusing. I saw in the corner of my eyes green lights and started wondering what it was. It was also weird to see him help me that easily.
"What are you doing?" I asked softly looking at him, he looked into my eyes while his fingers were still on my temples, he smiled a little and I had to keep myself from feeling ashamed of asking for help.
"Just relax darling," Loki spoke softly while I felt myself drift away.
------------------
Wow, chapter 14 already, I honestly love writing this book!
I am so excited about everything that's coming
I like the recently written chapters way more than the first ones, maybe because it's all beginning to fall in place, I hope it will only get better along the way
Goodnight for now <3
xx