@ nala_bert (Instagram) for this gorgeous art!
⚠️also, kinda manga spoilers??⚠️
☆
Fear was a terrible feeling, a feeling Hana especially loathed experiencing.
The familiar uniform of a popular American hero flashed in her mind as a Japanese hero fashioned with similar colors passed by her on the street. Her chest tightened, palms dampened with sweat, and teeth clenched.
Please keep walking. Act normally. Just walk. Keep walking.
The pep talk was useless as the Japanese hero suddenly turned in her direction. Her heart beat in her throat as breathing suddenly became more difficult than it should've been.
"Miss, are you alright?" The hero approached. His face was nothing like the American hero's, neither was his voice, but all she could see was that monster standing before her.
Am I going crazy?
"Miss?"
"Leave me alone," she wheezed in English as she finally managed to get her legs to move. However, her escape attempt failed as the hero grabbed her shoulder.
Hana screamed, stumbling away from the hero.
Thankfully he recoiled. Hana tightened her grip around her bag as she felt the stares of people around her. She needed to get home.
"Hey. It's okay," the hero lowered his voice with both hands raised. "Just breathe."
Breathe? You breathe.
The last thing she wanted was a hero's help, but she felt trapped in the crowd with nowhere to run.
"Breathe with me," he instructed her gently as he coaxed her to take long, deep breathes with him.
Hana hated it.
Stop helping me!
"Oi, Sunflower," Toya's low voice cut through the crowd like a knife. Somehow, when she looked up, his back was in front of her, acting as a shield between her and the hero.
Tears collected at the corners of her eyes as she suddenly found herself clenching his jacket. He said something else to the hero that Hana couldn't quite make out before leading her away from the busy street. She quietly followed as they soon found themselves at her home.
"Come sit," his voice was kind as he walked her to the couch and placed his jacket around her shoulders, an action that despite everything, made her heart skip a beat.
"Wait one second, love." Toya made his way to the kitchen and began pulling out things from the cupboard.
"You don't have to-"
"Yeah yeah," he waved it off, sending a quick smile her way before continuing.
He was being so kind and she just felt so stupid. And crazy.
She thought she was passed these panic attacks and it made her angry. Her fists tightened, bunching up his jacket between her fingers as she tried to get that American hero out of her head. She didn't want to think of his name, his face, his voice...
Was it so bad to hope things would be better once she left New York and never had to see him again? How much control he still had over her life was... it was...
Hana squeezed her eyes shut and hid her face in her knees. What a mess.
She instead tried to focus on Toya's scent that enveloped her.
I never want to give this jacket back.
"Sunflower," Toya prompted as the couch shifted next to her. She slighty turned her head to face him.
"I..." her words trailed off. She tried to say 'I'm fine' but the words wouldn't come out.
Guess it was a lie.
"Here," he handed her a cup of tea. She took it graciously, comforted by the warm steam fanning her face as she blew in it.
"Did that hero hurt you?" Hana let the question hang there as she tentatively sipped at her drink. "Because if he did-" Toya stopped abruptly, closing his eyes. Hana frowned as she noticed his whole body trembled --- fists clenched into a white-knuckled grip and lips pursed until you could barely see them. Even a little bit of blood trailed out from the stapling in his palm. Her own eyes widened.
Alarmed, she grabbed for the napkins that were now always on her coffee table. Her tea was set to the side as she took his hands in hers.
He's this angry on my behalf?
"He didn't do anything. He was just trying to be helpful." His narrowed gaze snapped to hers as she dabbed the blood from his palms. "Really, he was just trying to do his job."
Stubbornly she put all her focus onto his hands. Ignoring how clamy her own hands still were, she coaxed his fingers to relax as she finally stopped the bleeding. "I wish you wouldn't push yourself," she slowly ran her thumb around each staple, gently zig-zagging back and forth across his palm.
"If he didn't do anything, then what happened?" She chewed at her lip and didn't take hers eyes off his hands. She didn't want to say. It was embarrassing.
The hero that hurt her was thousands of miles away and here she was freaking out because she saw a hero who wore similar colors.
It's stupid. I'm stupid.
She froze as her simmering rage inched into a boil.
No, he's stupid.
Way to put it mildly.
"Oi," Toya brought her back to reality as he closed his hands around hers. He was trying so hard to comfort her; she wanted to unload some of her burden. She felt tired of holding it all in but she definitely didn't want to go into the entire story either. Once, she tried that with a therapist in New York.
She choked and never showed up for her first appointment. What if they didn't believe her? What if they did? What if they reported it? What if he came after her for it?
Slowly she lifted her gaze up to meet Toya's unwavering eyes. It almost prompted a smile out of her. It felt good to be cared for.
But maybe I can talk to Toya... even just a little.
Just a little.
"The... um, the hero really didn't do anything. I uh," Hana again averted her eyes, "I don't know."
Guess not.
Toya hummed letting silence fill the air for a minute before he leaned back on the couch and gently coaxed her to do the same. She didn't resist, letting his arm cradle her shoulders as he hugged her into his side. A strange sense of safety tenderly soothed her nerves.
"I told you a bit about my father, right?"
His father?
"Yeah," she answered slowly, confused. Sure, she remembered him briefly mentioning that he ran from home to escape that man's abuse. He didn't bring it up often, in fact, just the one time.
"He's a hero." Toya seethed as his heartbeat quickened, "Now he's the number one hero." Hana felt her eyes go wide as she abruptly jerked upright. She stared at him, mouth falling into an 'o' shape.
"Your... your dad is Almight!?"
Toya stared at her for a solid three seconds before he blinked and his eyebrows dipped in confusion. "Wha- no. Almight hasn't been number one for a while."
Wait...
"Oh my God," she felt stupid. She recalled how her employees had practically been in a state of shell-shock. When she asked Sakura what was up, she had received a strange look as she told her Almight couldn't fight anymore. "I'm sorry I totally forgot, I really don't keep up with heroes and the news... So, you mean the new number one. That um... the... hero..."
Her mind drew a blank. She only new about Almight because his fame even spread across America, but as for Japan's number two hero... she thought she remembered seeing a picture once. Maybe?
"Do you mean... that, uh... that orange hero?" Although she doubted that narrowed it down much.
"Pft," Toya cracked as a light laughter shook him. A bashful and maybe even slightly embarrassed smile crawled to her lips.
"Kami, you're amazing," Toya chuckled and quickly pecked her forehead. "Yes, the orange hero is my bastard of a father."
Ignoring her own silliness, she again relaxed into Toya, "That's... well, it's messed up." It made her trust the justice system even less. "How could they make someone who doesn't even protect they're own family number one hero?"
Toya didn't add a comment to that. He seemed so calm and composed when he told her, but his free hand scratched at the threading in his jeans and she could still feel his heart beat quickly. There was no doubt he felt angry about it all. True, she couldn't read people very well but this... this anger she understood.
Right as she opened her mouth to say something, Toya spoke instead. "I didn't tell you this to pressure you into telling me what happened. I just- hmm," he hummed and trailed his fingers through his already messy hair. "I want you to know I don't trust this BS system that allows heroes to do whatever they want." His jaw clenched as he repeated himself. "I don't trust heroes either."
Hana stared up at Toya, grateful that he didn't judge her for mistrusting heroes, more grateful that he felt the same way. So many people had thoughtlessly shoved their own hurtful opinions at her when they realized how weary she was. "Not all heroes are bad" hit her the hardest.
Yeah, she knew. She knew not all heroes abused their power but...
She bit her lip.
It only takes one.
"I get panic attacks," she blurted. "It... well, it's doesn't happen as much as it used to but I guess it still happens." She shrugged and stared just below his eyes without really seeing.
"I don't always know why. That hero really didn't do anything but try and help, but I just panicked more. I didn't want his help."
There. She felt a little better. Even if it wasn't going away completely and she wasn't 'fixed' or whatever that meant. She could at least talk to someone here. It didn't matter that she didn't go into specifics. This was good for now.
The cup of tea caught her eye and she smiled. Leaning forward to grab it she finished off the lukewarm beverage before it was too cold to drink.
"Thanks," fiddling with her tea cup, Hana frowned as she realized something. "I have a question for you, though."
Toya shifted so he could better meet her eyes, tilting his head slightly in anticipation.
"What's your Dad's name?"
A smile slowly stretched across his face as he realized why she asked this. No point in hiding his surname from her anymore. "Todoroki Enji."
Hana wordlessly mouthed his surname before she could no longer contain her own smile. "Todoroki Toya." Was it just her who felt like she had a goofy smile? His entire name felt like it rolled off her tongue. So she said it again with a small laugh before flashing another stupid grin. "I like your name, Todoroki Toya."
Her eyes widened slightly when she noticed his ears and cheeks flush pink. He tried covering it up with something between a cough and a laugh as he reached out to ruffle up her hair.
"Stop being cute," he mumbled and got off the couch, taking her empty mug to the kitchen. When did her boyfriend become a tsundere?
"Hee~" she beamed and watched as he started pulling food from the fridge. "Todoroki Toya!"
He fumbled with the plastic tupperware, almost dropping it.
"Just get over here and eat. What are we, high-schoolers?" Then he mumbled something else as he began to reheat leftovers on her stove. Hana could only laugh.
"I'm glad you get as flustered as I do," Hana teased, bearing a cheeky smile.
"Who's flustered?" Toya wore his own teasing smirk, but didn't deny it.
Because he can't. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought.