Palace parties always went on far too long. While Loki appreciated the feasts and copious glasses of wine, he often grew bored with the company of the other gods who only cared to be self-indulgent, uncouth, and deafening. To keep his sanity, he would normally only stay around for an hour or so, grab a bottle of something red that hadn't been finished yet and head back to his chambers for the night. This night was different. The occasion called for his full attendance and he dreaded every minute. This time, however, it wasn't just the sounds of nonsensical cackling and shouting that had Loki's mood low. It was what they were shouting about that had his stomach churning as he sat at the end of the dining table.
"Oh, how I've missed taking her on our adventures!"
"Asgard surely has not been the same without her!"
"Her smile could light up the entire nine realms."
Thor, The Warriors Three, Lady Sif, Lady Amora, and Lady Lorelei all sat on the right end of the table, while Loki was on the far left, secluding himself from the bunch. They were all ogling over her like easily impressed children and that sickened Loki. Sure it had been at least three hundred years since she departed, but he hardly understood why a nonstop celebration in her honor was a necessary response to her return. Despite his efforts, Loki failed at hiding his disdain by wearing it on his face long enough for it to catch the attention of a giggling Lady Amora who was now walking towards him.
"Loki," she said, catching his attention. He straightened out his face. "Why the somber eyes?"
"Oh, you know why!" Thor retorted and the Warrior Three exchanged quiet snickers and side glances. Thor hopped from his chair. "Of all of us, he is surely the most excited to see her." He said, while theatrically pointing his finger towards his brother. Loki's eyes rolled.
"What? That's ridiculous." Loki said with a low tone as he reached for his glass of wine, before he could bring it to his lips Amora snatched it from his hand and drank it herself, finishing it and then sitting it back down.
"I don't think drinking your way through tonight will do you much good Loki."
"Your concern for my well-being is making my heart swell, Amora. Truly it is, but I don't think I could live through tonight without drinking." He lunged over the table and grabbed the entire bottle. He brought it to his lips and took a deep swig.
"Listen we understand that you are nervous, but-" Loki cuts Thor off.
"I am not nervous, nor do I care for any of your little jokes or speculations. I am fine."
"It's alright if you aren-"
"I am!" Loki jolted from his chair, nearly knocking it over on his way up, and met Thor chest to chest.
"Okay, well if you are sure the-"
"I am sure!"
"Stop cutting me off! I understand how tonight may not be the easiest for you. Perhaps if you and Asta spoke privately after the party." Her name stung Loki, yet Thor said it so easily. Asta Heimdalldottir. Even when things were good between Loki and Asta, he could never say the name so carelessly. It always lingered in his voice as if he were trying to savor it, loving how it tasted as it left his lips.
"I have nothing to say to her privately," Loki said, dropping his expression and turning his back towards Thor. He grabbed the bottle from the table and dropped back down to his chair. The gods eyed him curiously as he continued his drinking. Thor decided it was best to leave it be and Amora gave Loki one last weak smile before walking to the opposite end of the twelve-foot table and sitting beside Sif and Lorelei.
Another twenty minutes went by and they continued to wait for her in merriment. The tall palace hall doors swung open with King Odin and his loving wife Queen Frigga stepping through them, their arms linked and a group of guards following closely behind them.
"They are here," Odin said, igniting a sharp and excited squeal from Amora.
"Took them long enough," Sif said in response. "I thought I had brought out the good mead for nothing."
"Yes, yes, they're on their way. Heimdall is greeting her at the Bi-Frost," said Frigga. Thor rose a brow.
"How is Heimdall holding up?"
"I have never seen him cry until this day," Frigga said. Her eyes scanned the room and landed on Loki, she saw him at the end of the table, sulking. With her magic, she pulled his bottle of wine from his reach and to the other end of the table. She smiled at him quietly.
"WHERE ARE THEY?" They all then heard the voice echoing outside of the hall doors. Loki's stomach dropped and he momentarily feared that he would vomit. It was her. "My darlings!" the voice said as it got closer and closer until finally, she walked with her father right behind her. Dear God.
"Asta!" The gods shouted, nearly in unison as they got up and rushed their way towards her. Loki remained in his chair and he eyed her from his end of the hall with spite in his eyes and his heart. The voices of the gods clattered together as they all asked her a series of questions, shouting about how much they missed her, and they pulled her into hugs that got tighter and tighter. Asta tried her hardest to keep up, but after a moment she simply resorted to smiling and nodding.
She was just as beautiful as ever. She may have gotten even more beautiful since she left. She was, however, dressed like a Midgardian. In a strappy black revealing dress and nude-colored high heels. Her hair, while still kinky and black, now had purple streaks. Purple was always her favorite color. It was good to know at least that hadn't changed. She had a tattoo of fluttering butterflies on the right side of her collar bone that made its way down her right arm. It appeared as though she had completely embraced her time on Midgard. It disgusted Loki. When she looked up she saw him and they stared at each other for a moment.
"Loki!" Thor bellowed while noticing the exchange of their glances. "Come say hello!"
"Oh, Thor he doesn't have to," Asta said.
"Well I think he should, it's rude for him to sit here and say nothing. I know something is going on here but that doesn't give him the right to be unmannerly." Loki sniffed and got up before slowly stalking his way towards the crowd. On his way, he grabbed the bottle of wine Frigga moved and took another swig.
"Hello, Loki," Asta said sweetly with a toothy smile. He stopped a foot before her then took another swig.
"Asta," he responded.
"You look well." The gods watched them wordlessly, the quietest they'd been all night.
"I do," Loki affirmed and Asta giggled.
"Good to know you haven't changed."
"No, I haven't changed at all." Asta cleared her throat as if to hold herself together and she turned her gaze away from his finally. His eyes still watched her, she could almost feel them burning into the skin of her cheeks.
"Well, I've brought gifts for everyone and some of my favorite Midgardian dishes from one of the North American cities I've lived in, New Orleans, Louisiana." She turned her body away from Loki as she spoke. Thor placed his hand on Loki's chest and leaned in to whisper.
"You are drunk."
"It's a party Thor, is that not one of the joys of a party?" Loki asked with his eyes still on Asta. He watched as The Warriors Three, Amora, Frigga, Sif, and Lorelei helped her to unpack the food she brought while Odin and Heimdall sat down.
"You are too drunk. You reek of this wine, I can smell it oozing from your pores. It is okay if you need to leave. It may not be the best idea to stay and potentially do or say something you may regret."
"Do or say something like what Thor?"
"I know you are upset with her, and I know your nerves are getting the better of yo-"
"God, you're insufferable. Why do you insist upon pretending to care about my nerves."
"I'm not pretending."
"Are you two going to join us?" Asta asked. The table was now set full of both Midgardian and Asgardian food and everyone was seated.
"Yes, one moment," Thor said, giving her a warm smile before turning back to his brother. "Fine. I'll let it go." Thor dropped his hand from Loki's chest and walked back to the table. Loki followed close behind to the far end of the table with Asta seated on the other end.
Loki sat quietly as everyone ate and celebrated Asta's return for the next few hours. She told stories about her time living as a famous dancer in the 1920s, her countless businesses and civil rights organizations, her painting career, her film directing career and the list goes on. She talked about the Midgardians like she thought she was one of them. It infuriated Loki. She even talked about the people she dated, famous actors, successful CEOs, historical figures. With each new story, Loki found his sanity slipping further and further from his grip. While he was trying his hardest to keep himself together, he couldn't help but feel the need to put her in what he believed to be her rightful place.
"So anyway," Asta says. She bites into her mac and cheese, a dish that was becoming the favorite of all the gods, and once she swallowed she continued. "The book was worth millions in American currency and no one could find it for eighty years, but I found it in like two months. It was in an underground tunnel in a state called Kansas of all places." She shrugged and the gods snickered.
"Very interesting," Loki said, his tone low and sly. Everyone whipped their heads towards him with their eyes wide. It was the first time he'd spoken in what felt like forever. Loki leaned in, his elbow pressed into the wood of the table and his knuckles holding his head up by his chin. "Although Asta, I cannot help but ask, did you happen to find any humility while you were on Midgard? You've been bragging all night. Perhaps you could've found a personality while you were there as well?"
"Loki!" Frigga snapped. Asta looked down at her food then up at Thor who was apologizing to her with his eyes.
"Son, perhaps you should leave," Odin said.
"With all due respect my King, there's no need to include 'perhaps.' He should leave," Heimdall responded and Loki wore his first real smile of the night.
"No, no. Perhaps Loki's right. Perhaps I was bragging too much." Asta said quietly. The table roared in protest.
"No, I can assure you we are all excited to hear about your accomplishments, even if Loki is insisting upon behaving like he has a stick-up arse," Lorelei said.
"Aww, I appreciate your concern for what's up my arse, Lorie," Loki said smugly.
"Oh piss off you parasitic snake."
"I am only asking for Asta to be honest. Am I to be impressed with her accomplishments when the creatures she lived amongst are the equivalent of street rats? It's easy to impress animals."
"Loki, that is enough." Frigga pleaded.
"But you know what Asta I do applaud you, yeah, never in my years have I experienced such insufferable cowardliness. To run from your past, run from those who care for you, run from the truth to go live a life amongst witless beasts for hundreds of years then to return looking like one of the beasts themselves well that...that kind of cowardice is worth celebrating. Let's all clap for Asta!" Loki stands and begins to clap his hands as Asta looks down at hers. "Come on Asta! Don't play the innocent child now! Let me celebrate you." In a fit of anger Heimdall grunts and bursts from his chair and stomps his way towards Loki, provoking Thor, Odin, and the Warriors Three to get up as well. Before Heimdall can touch him Thor grabs Loki's arm and yanked him out of Heimdall's reach.
"Thor let me go!" Loki yells.
"You are mad!" Thor shouts in response. "Leave now or I will let Heimdall handle you, and not even I know what that looks like."
"You know nothing of what you speak Loki! Speak to my daughter in that way again and I will have your head."
"Please, your daughter is a liar, a coward, and a traitor. Best not to be so proud of what you've raised." With those words, Heimdall brought his hand to wrap around Loki's neck but once again Thor pulled his brother back to safety.
"LEAVE! NOW!" Thor yells. He pushes Loki towards the door and Loki scoffs.
"Fine." Loki turns to Asta and points his finger at her. "I don't know why you came back, but you should've stayed with the rats." with that, Loki storms his way out of the, slamming the doors behind him and walking out into the night.
Asta smiled and then she sighed, letting all the weight of Loki's words drop from her shoulders and to the floor. she'd spent the last three hundred years learning how to keep her composure in the face of the hateful, there's no way she'd crack now in front of her father, her friends, her realm.
"Well," she said. "He's always been theatrical."
-
Loki walked for what felt like forever, at least two miles west of the palace. Finally, as if he'd been holding it in all night, a tear spills from his left eye and he wipes it quickly. "Fuck." he hissed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He walked until he got to the lake, and then in a desperate attempt to regain control of his mind and body from the alcohol in his system, he thought over the words he said to her, words he was beginning to regret, then Loki closed his eyes and dove completely clothed into the cold water of the lake.