Chapter THIRTY

654 49 4
By leelabellabooks

Frankie Xiao

... THE NEW DAWN ...

"Last night, you liked it when I hurt you." I step forward to meet him by the bedside where he stands and he soon becomes still as his gaze falls to the floor..

"Aye-- I'm rite' ashamed of me' behaviour.."

I reach up to lift his chin, so that his beautifully miserable emerald gaze meets mine, a sea of longing and loneliness so powerful I feel it pulling me in to sweep me away in its currents.. "Why?"

"Because I used you to feel better, in a way I should have done for myself.. I asked you to hurt me without you understanding why.. It was wrong."

"I was nervous but-- I liked it too." I admit quietly as a mouse.. "Am I bad, River?"

He drops to his knees, leaning his head against my belly as he wraps his arms around the backs of my thighs.. "No Lilly.. You're so, so good.. Nobody's ever understood me the way you do.. I'm two steps behind me'self and confused, 'cause I never felt this way before.. I know that--I need you-- but I don'ae dare to hope for you to need me.. I know that you are miles beyond my reach, more sweetness than I should ever get to taste-- to me you are a Princess.. You're perfect.."

I giggle, flying through the clouds, kept afloat by his pretty talk.."If I am a princess, you are my Knight.. Like in a fairytale.."

His shoulders fall and his brows draw together in concern.. "I wish I was.. I have nothing to give you-- except loyalty.. I can't promise you a fairytale-- I've never done this before, but for you, Lilly, I would be faithful."

"What does that mean?"

When he says faithful, I wonder if he is talking about his god but he helps me to understand clearer with a sweet smile.. "It means I'd only be yours.. Nobody else's.."

"Not Amberley?" I hum.. She is a scary, beautiful animal.. I can't quite forget that she and River were together.. Lovey reminds me of it.. When I think about her, I feel bad for her.. But also, I hate her a little bit, for reasons I don't really understand because I don't know her..

She hurt River.. Which makes her mean..
But he doesn't hate her.. So she must not be all bad..

Really, I want to know more about her.. About them..

He shakes his head with fast conviction.. "Definitely not.. I told you she tried to kiss me, but I stopped it, Lilly, I swear.. I don'ae feel the same way about Amberley, I never did.. I never belonged to her.." He takes my hand and turns it over, bringing it to his lips to kiss my palm.. "I will always belong to you."

I chew on my bottom lip, hungrily, those wonderful shivers spiraling down through my body.. Each part of me becomes so aware of his closeness, and soothing soapy scent.. "If--- If I say what I want, will you do it for me, River?"

He looks up at me from his place on the floor at my feet.. He is so big, his shoulders wide and strong, but the way he kneels before me makes him so much smaller.. Like a Tiger cub I want to reach out and scratch behind the ears.. "I will.. I'll do anythin' Mistress.. Please.."

I brush my affectionate fingers through his hair.. "You will never lie."

"I'll tell ye' no lies, Lilly.. I swear."

"You will say what you like.. And explain to me why."

"I can work harder to volunteer my secrets before you have to ask, all of them.. I'll be an open book.."

"You will look at me." When his gaze is on me I feel hot and I love it.. He sees me the way I want to be seen.. The way he looks at me could never be faked.. It's the most pure form of truth I have ever known..

"I'll never take my eyes off you." He lifts his chin to obey my request, staring into my depths.. Seeing me so deeply..

"Instead of Mistress-- You will call me--hmm-- Princess.. I like this better in your lovely mouth." I trace my fingertips over his lips.. His soft, made for kissing lips, that speak no lies and say the only words I want to hear..

He nods, diligent and dutiful.. "Yes, Princess."

I pet his silky, strawberry hair some more and he leans in close to me, clinging to my hips.. "Now, tell me what you want?"

"I want you to play with me, touch me.. Tease me.. Tie me up-- fuck-- whatever you like.. I want you to punish me.. Hit me-- hurt me-- burn me-- break me.. I want ye' to use me to please yourself, Princess.. Sit on my face until I suffocate.. Drown me in your delicious drippin' pussy.. I wanna be your soldier.. Your fucktoy.. Your servant.. Your slave."

True to the agreement he'd just made to volunteer all his information freely, he divulges all his secrets.. He upholds his promise to make himself open as a book for me to read with ease, to learn him and master him.. "If it makes you happy to know how I would suffer for you.. I haven'ae cum since I met you, Princess.. I haven'ae let me'self feel good.. Not once.. If ye' wanted to punish me more, yeh'll say I'm not allowed, or make me beg for your permission.."

"Also?" I press him for more, knowing that there must be..

"Also--" He considers for a second, his hands gently coasting up and down over my bare legs, massaging and squeezing and feeling so very nice.. "You could say somethin' mean to make me feel bad.. Or somethin' nice to make me feel embarrassed.. You can decide how I deserve to feel.. Dictate to my ego.."

"If I say something nice you will be embarrassed?" I can't get enough of River's nice words.. They make me happy and proud, when he says them I feel adored and beautiful..

So why do they make him embarrassed?

"Aye, Princess Lilly.." He sits back on his haunches, rubbing the back of his neck, just like I do when I feel shy or silly.. "Sometimes, when ye' say t'ings, like that I'm lovely, I feel nervous and awkward-- It makes me feel kinda stupid and self concious.. But.. That also excites me.."

"And if I say something mean?" I sit on the edge of the mattress, lifting my feet to his knees where he begins to knead them dotingly..

"You could say that I'm worthless, or weak.. Then I would feel uncomfortable, or that shameful kind of sick.. Deep in my guts, it burns.. A kind of friendly fire.."

I understand how shame feels, but I don't enjoy the sensation.. To me, it isn't friendly at all, or welcome in my belly.. It's fascinating to me that he would desire a self loathing fire.. "Why would you want to feel shameful?"

He shrugs.. "Because I am.. Everybody is in some way.. Every feeling we feel serves a purpose.. Shame, to me, is reflective and if we acknowledge it, it can teach us about ourselves, or make us want to do better.. When I finally get somethin' right, it's more satisfying if I've earned it.. Lilly, I can'ae always say the right t'ing, make the right choice or be the best man.. Facing the shame I already feel for all those reasons makes me aware of it.. It makes me stronger.. I use that strength to carry myself when I'm tired and my body fails me.."

Every emotion serves a purpose, he says.. So what is the purpose of this hungry void within me that wants to devour his body? To lick him like candy.. To hear him growl and purr like an animal..

When the Tiger is wild with an appetite for me, The void almost feels full.. There is just something else I need.. "If I said that you are worthless to me-- It wouldn't be true."

He smiles.. "It doesn'ae have to be true.. Actually, it takes most of the sting out of the insult and makes it sweeter, 'cause I know you don't really believe it.. You'd be sayin' it to make me-- hot for ya.." He flushes with colour.. "Princess, you make my cock so hard it hurts."

"Hot?" I blush..

He grins.. "Aye.. So fuckin' hot.."

"I make your cock hard.." I copy the naughty word 'cock', feeling it in my mouth as I rub my tip-toes against the zipper of his jeans.. "Fuck!"

He chuckles.. "Now I'm just teachin' you how to swear.."

"I already knew how." I giggle.. "I just never said it before."

He leans forward, bowing down to kiss the tops of my feet.. "You don't have to say any of these things if they don'ae make ye' happy.. But you asked me the question, Princess, so I'm tryin' to explain me'self, like you said.."

I think about the way he had begged me to burn him in the shower.. The way it had made me feel.. "Why did I like it? To hurt you last night.. Why does it make me feel-- ticklish?"

"I don't know.. Maybe I confused ye' last night? Or maybe it is cathartic to your soul, after all the hurt ye've had given to ye' in this life.. Maybe men like me were made to be the slaves of women like you, because you are perfect and we are nothin'.. Or maybe it's just who ye' are.." He kisses from my ankles to my knees.. "I don't know how you feel or why, Princess Lilly.. But I want to.."

"I feel-- this-- pressure--" It's difficult to tell him what is inside me so clearly as he has expressed himself.. There are so many words I know that I was never allowed to use.. But now as I try to find the right words for my violently mounting need, they escape my brain, leaving it blank.. "Uhm--"

"Is this too much--?" He moves to withdraw his hands from my thighs but I grab them to place them on my belly..

"No no-- pressure inside here.. A lovely-dirty feeling.. Like before an earthquake.. It's frustrating-- because I want to feel everything but I don't know how to say it.."

He grins a sly smile.. "You're horny."

"Is that what it is?" I look down to where his hands wind around my hips and he scoots me forward to the very edge of the mattress to lay his head in my lap..

"Aye, I t'ink so.." He picks and claws at the bunched up fabric of the sports jersey that covers my body, like a cat with a ball of yarn.. His urgency to feel what is beneath gives me the electric encouragement I need to feel more and think less.. To act on my impulses, rather than fight against and doubt them..

I wiggle my fingers beneath the sweatshirt to pull it up over my head.. I can hear his breath become heavy and feel the intensity of his Tiger's stare watching me.."Do you feel it too? Horny?"

He nods in a daze as he feasts his eyes on my fair flesh and pink underwear.. "Whenever you're around me, Princess.. It's all I fuckin' think about.. I want to fuck you a thousand different ways.. Slow and sweet.. Fast and hard.. However you like it.. I think about feeling you shake with those earthquakes while wrapped around my cock.. Mmh-- I bet you're so soft inside.. Like silk.."

"I feel-- empty inside.. Uhm-- like my pussy is-- hungry..." I reach between my legs, rubbing myself over the thin cotton where the liquid fire pools in me.. Making me slick and wet.. Trying to relieve some of the ache I moan a frustrated breath..

River's gaze follows my fingers and he swallows so hard the lump in his throat bobs..
"I want to fill you up.." He replies, a husky strained growl..

"With cock?" I like to say it now that The Tiger isn't expecting me to... The way the naughtiness coats my tongue is a lovely taste..

His eyes widen in surprise, emeralds flickering with excitement.. "Aye, Princess.. If you want my cock, it's all yours.. Every little piece of me.."

"Even the cat?" I giggle, reaching out to take a fistful of his top and pulling at it demandingly..

"What cat?" He arches a brow in confusion, lifting his arms above his head so that I can take off his shirt..

"On your butt.. There's a cat.. It's cute." I can't help but smile just thinking about it.. Looking forward to seeing the silly cartoon again.. "I want to see it again."

"O'Aye! O'malley the alley cat.." He laughs, rising to his feet.. "I was drunk when I did that too.."

I swing my legs back and forth over the edge of the bed, buzzing with joy as he strips for me.. "I want to get drunk.. And I want a new tattoo.. A cute one." I rub at the mark on my neck that he said I could cover..

He unbuttons his jeans, pausing to look down at me.. "How about later we do those things--uhh-- Separately.. Sex and alcohol probably shouldn't go together.. It's easy to make mistakes that way.."

"I don't want to make a mistake.." I shake my head, wondering what kind of mistakes the combination could cause..

River said it made him feel stupid.. That doesn't sound like a good thing.. But he also seemed so happy..

"Neither do I.." He nods.. "The tattoo is grand tho.. Ye' can do that drunk if ye' really want.. Though I wouldn't recommend it.. Alotta blood.."

I stick out my tongue.. "Yuck!"

He chuckles, copying my exaggerated disgust.. "Yeah, yuck!"

"Can I use the rope again?" I smile up at the giant ginger Tiger as he stands before me in all his glorious nakedness..

Skin smooth as polished stone, he glows with a beautiful light.. Hard muscle and heavy masculinity painted in colourful ink, he is dessert for my eyes, a sweet sugar rush.

He grins.. "If you want, Princess.. I'd like that."

Rive takes an easy step towards the bedside table and pulls open the drawer to retrieve our green patterned ropes, and a coil of foil packets..

"What's that?" I point..

"The rubbers? Well-- it's prob'ly a wee bit soon for Lovey to become a sister.. Don't ye' think?" He smiles..

"Ohh.. Yes.." I giggle understanding they are for safety.. "Lovey is enough."

The Tiger sits beside me, his weight dipping the mattress so that I am tilting towards him as he takes my hand between his.. "You care about Lovey.. Don't ye'?"

"I love her." I nod easily.. Lovey is the most wonderful gift to me.. A smiley treasure.. Each morning, I am excited to crawl out of bed to see her happy face.. When she cries, my heart aches only to soothe her, give her all that she needs and take away her discomfort.. My pride in her grows stronger every time I see her discover something new.. She is uncorrupted by the bad world.. Nothing about her is wicked.. She is perfect, in every way.

He smiles.. "I see that.. And It means alot to me.. Amberley might be her mother, but Lilly-- The way you nurture her is what she really deserves.. I can't give her the things you do.. The softness of your touch.. The sweet smell of your perfume.. But those are my favourite memories of my own mother.. I want Lovey to have those.. I want her to know she is loved, to feel it with her.. Always."

I don't remember my mother.. I wish I could but there is nothing there.. Her family had refused to allow her to marry my father.. Father Fei had said the heartbreak had torn her apart, and that if it weren't for me, he too would have lost his mind as she did.. "My mother killed herself, I don't remember anything.. But I would wish to have some nice memories like you.. Lovey should have them.. She will."

"I'm sorry, baby.. Life's not fair.." He plays with my hair, stroking his fingers against my scalp and I close my eyes to lean into the kind feeling.. "You have the sweetest heart, Princess Lilly, that's why I trust you.. Completely.."

My eyes flutter open as his lips graze my cheek.. "I trust you, River.."

"I dunno how I got so lucky.. You saved my life the night we met, I was bein' set up to take a fall.. If you hadn't been there--" He hands me the rope.. "I'd prob'ly be dead like Johnny.."

"I saved you?" I crinkle my nose in disbelief.. "Maybe.. I don't think so.."

"Hey-- sometimes the Princess rescues the Knight, ye' know.." He chuckles as I loop the slinky rope around my hands before I push against his shoulder to make room on his lap for me..

"So I'm your guardian angel too.." I giggle, my hands crawling over his sizzling skin..

"Mmmh, you sure are.. My angel.. My goddess.." He wraps me up in his arms, falling back to bury himself beneath me as my hair spills over his face. He inhales the scent of my flowery shampoo.. "My princess.."

"I have been practicing knots.. Can I try?"

I press up on his chest and he nods as he lifts a hand to offer me the control I have been craving..

"Please."

"I was thinking.. If I do it like this--" I wrap the rope around his forearm and tie the knot above a tender pressure point on his inner arm, just below his elbow, nestled between the tendons.. "It will feel much better.."

As I tighten the rope he groans.. "That feels amazin'.. It's awful kind of ye', Princess.. I like to know that ye've been thinkin' about me as much as I think about you."

I cast a glance over his muscles.."Oh, River.. I think about you, always.."

"Mmhh.. Please, Princess.. Please tell me what else you think about?"

As I attempt a second knot that I have to undo and begin again, I confess to him the secrets I have been keeping myself.. "I have lovely thoughts about filling my emptiness with you.. Having you in my hands.. Or in my mouth.. Between my legs.. Sometimes I-- I touch myself while I think.."

He moans and I pause my work on his left arm to watch as his torso twists and tenses and his thick shaft rises.. "Ughh--fuck.. That's so fuckin' hot.."

I lean forward to kiss his mouth and he takes in my tongue, sucking the love from my lips before I whisper.. "Beg for me to touch you, Tiger."

"Mmhh.. Please Princess, I need your beautiful hands on my body.. I can barely breathe without your touch, even if I don't deserve it, I still need it.. I need you."

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