We fell asleep on the separate couches, Lily's cat curled up on my stomach as the warm morning rays hit me. I tried to move but the ginger cat refused to let me move. I squeezed my eyes shut, red filling my vision while my eyes were shut. "Wake up." James's voice was croaky. "Wake up, Lillian."
"Fuck off." I groaned, the cat kneading his claws into Lily's silk winter pajamas that had reindeers on them. "That's my wife's favorite pajama set," James announced, my eyes were still closed, I shoved a pillow over my face to drown the noise and light out. "I got them for her." He added,
"Well, you need a better taste," I grumbled, he threw a pillow at the cat, making him scram off my tummy. "Hey!" I shrieked, finally sitting up. "Garfield, come back!"
"Serves you right." He triumphantly stood up, he fell asleep with Harry, who was only just waking up.
"The poor cat. I'm going to get a cat."
James scoffed at my words, "as if Sirius would let you get a cat."
"Well, want to go to the shelter and get one with me?" I sat up,
"Hm." He pondered, "if you show me how you do those ninja moves."
"Ninja moves?"
"The ones you pulled on Sirius."
"I mean, yeah, sure."
James grabbed two baguettes and handed me one. I looked between the long piece of bread and him in complete confusion. "You have to teach me somehow and I don't trust you with an actual knife near me." He explained,
"Well." I hummed, "here goes nothing." I held the piece of bread up, him doing the same. He lunged forward, trying to hit me but I easily blocked him, getting him in a hard position to move in since he was leaning downwards, and I was leaning upwards. I moved the bread in an upwards moment and his baguette ended to his neck. "I win." I announced, "that was rather pathetic, Potter."
"Fuck off." He moved the baguette, hitting it against mine. I blocked his movements quickly.
"Always be one step ahead of your opponent," I grinned, getting him in a headlock position. "I win again."
He rolled his eyes, "one more go."
"Fine. You want to lose again?" I taunted,
"I'm not losing to you, Cox." His movements were quick and sharp, an improvement of what they were.
"It's Black now." I corrected, slightly distracting him,
"You'll always be Cox the cock to me." He smirked,
My mouth gaped open, "people called me that?"
"No, they called you Cox the cock eater." He said, "how did you not know? People literally called it to you to your face."
"Huh." I murmured, "that's reassuring. Well, I was also the pussy eater do I not get credit for that?"
"Oh, go fuck yourself." He groaned,
"Fuck wit." I whacked the bread against his head, crumbs falling to the tiles.
"Now, what is going on here?" We were broke from our bread fight by a feminine voice. A smile formed on my lips at Lily's voice, I turned to face her with a wide smile, Sirius and Dominic with her.
"Lils!" James yelled, dropping the bread to the floor and rushing over to his wife. "Thank Merlin, you weren't driving recklessly when you were drunk?" He asked panickily,
"What?" She looked over at me with a confused look on her face,
"We watched "A Star Is Born"," I said shortly, "also," I turned to Sirius, "we're getting a cat."
Sirius screwed his nose in disgust, "no, our marriage agreement was a puppy. Not a kitten."
"No, you said you would marry me for a puppy. But I don't want a puppy."
"I do."
"Grow a vagina. Cats are so much cooler than any dog."
"A cat almost clawed my eye out." Sirius protested,
"A good reason to my guess."
"Bicker about this later." Dominic groaned, "no one has gotten any sleep for two days."
"Not James and me," I said,
"Clearly." Sirius yawned, "can we go home now?"
I nodded.
I was beginning to notice small changes in Sirius. He was distant. He was nervous and agitated. He was snapping quicker than normal. He'd always had a short temper. Mood swings. But not the manic I ever went through.
Maybe he'd always done it and I was only noticing because I was overanalyzing everyone around me because I was so scared I was misreading the signs.
"What are you looking at?" Sirius broke me from my trance.
I snapped my head back up to him, "your hands are shaking."
"I know." He said, "just a mission has me stressed out."
"Are you sleeping? You look tired."
"I'm sleeping fine."
"But you're never actually asleep when I wake up."
"I just wake up before you."
"You look like you haven't slept in days – That's all. Maybe you should have a break from it if it's affecting you –"
"I'm fine." He snapped.
Short-tempered. Was that lack of sleep?
"I'm telling you what you would tell me."
Sirius had lined scars on his left wrist and on his stomach. He'd covered the ones on his stomach with tattoos, making them almost impossible to see. He had picked at nail beds and tired, sometimes even lifeless eyes. His lips were beginning to tilt in a downward motion like his brother's once did. His hands were shaking, his nail beds and cuticles picked at.
Was it anxiety?
He wasn't right in the head. He'd never been. He'd overdosed and he'd cut himself. He was depressed for a long time. Everyone knew that. He had panic attacks. Not as often as he used to but when he was young he got them a lot. I knew that from Regulus.
"Are you feeling okay?" I asked, reaching for his hand and taking it.
I was getting nervous. I was getting really nervous because what if his hands had been shaking for longer than I'd realized.
No, no. He'd always had a short temper and he'd always been impulsive and he'd always had rib-crushing anxiety.
Was his behavior normal or was it because I hadn't stopped thinking about Wren's words for months and months. Was he getting frustrated that I was still grieving? That I still didn't feel like sex? Should I have been feeling insecure about the marriage? Was he?
Sirius squeezed my hand, turning back to his toast that he cut the exact same way as Remus did but he kept his hand in mine.
If he had dropped my hand he really would be distant. But he squeezed it and still held it. Maybe he wasn't trying to be distant? Was it a certain day today? October second, 1980. It wasn't any significant day, was it? Maybe not to me but it might've been for him.
"Is something wrong?" I asked,
"Hm?"
"Today, is it a special day?"
He shook his head, "no, I'm just tired."
"Why?"
"I just am?"
"Are you sleeping enough?" I rambled.
Why was he tired? Was it because of me? Was I tiring him out?
He looked over at me, with tired eyes, "I'm okay."
"Yes, well, I know that's a lie."
"Lillian, leave it."
I stared at him for even longer before I stood up. "I've got brunch with Lily."
"Okay. I love you."
If he was tired of me would he tell me he loved me? Or would he but would he know he was leading me on? No, no, he loved me. But was he getting tired of loving me?
The anxiety I had been getting had been burning my mind and burning every little thought. I was overstressing everyone's posture, whether it was slouched and uninterested or if it was straight and leaning in, interested in what I was saying. I was over-stressing about everyone's smiles. Whether they looked too forced or not.
But all I knew was that Wren fucked me up.
And I was so angry because now I'd live knowing what I did to her.
But at least now I knew.
I'd never felt quite so paranoid.
I didn't have brunch with Lily. Instead, I paced Wren's and Regulus's graves, kicking at the grass around me. "Fuck you, Wren." I mumbled, "fuck you; fuck you; fuck you."
I was cursing my dead best friend. What a thing for a friend to do. But I had every right to be angry. She made sure I'd live in paranoia of my split personality. For my manic behavior and for my inability to ever succeed. Because I wasn't a natural. But I always tried. I always tried for her and she told me none of it ever worked.
How dare she?
How dare she ruin me like I ruined her?
I was pulling my hair out because it was calming me. I was picking at my cuticles because it was hurting me and I was peeling the layer of skin off my bottom lip because I liked the way it felt.
"I'm getting dizzy, quit pacing."
I jumped at Sirius's voice, snapping my eyes to him. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his eyes were still tired. "Are you feeling okay?" He asked me,
I nodded, "I'm fine."
"No, you're not."
"I don't want to talk about it. Why are you tired?"
"Because I've been on a mission and barely got two hours sleep. I'm sleep-deprived and I'm trying to make it up by sleeping more." He shrugged, "I'm not that kind of tired. I'm physically exhausted."
"Is that all?"
"Why else would I be exhausted?"
I was silent for a few seconds, "um, I don't know."
"Well, I think you do because you wouldn't be pacing graves right now."
"Wren said I ruined her and I ruin everyone eventually and now I can't do anything without overthinking it because I'm worried I am destroying everything around me but I can't do anything about it –"
"Why would she ever say that?" Sirius interrupted,
"She was angry. And I mean it was probably true."
"I don't care if she was angry or not. It wasn't true and she knew it'd fuck with you."
"Yeah, and it has because I can't be around anyone without second-guessing myself."
He was silent for a few seconds, "you've never ruined me. I think we both shattered each other once but you fixed me. You've made me so happy. And you've made Lily happy, and you've and Remus laugh, hell, you made Dominic stay with us. Dominic chose to stay around because of you, because of how safe you made him feel, how open he could be with you. I know Wren didn't like him. I know that is why the argument started."
I nodded slowly, swallowing,
"You've made everyone's lives better one way or another. Maybe Wren and you drifted and maybe she was jealous. But I know you definitely didn't ruin Regulus. I know you haven't ruined anyone."
His words were sweet. But even he knew they wouldn't do much.
He walked up to me, cupping my chin. "I love you." He told me, "and I know she probably said something about whatever goes on in your head. You should never feel bad about something you can't control."
"But I can –"
"It explains why you did something. It doesn't justify it." He told me, "I'll always love you though. You could turn the world grey but I know as long as it's your eyes I'm looking at, the world will be so bright in color. You could never ruin me."
"Can we go home?" I asked,
He nodded.
The thing was he'd already snapped at me about how I had. Everyone had snapped at me once and regretted what they said. But I suppose everyone had a side to them only the worst people could uncover in them.
My mind still raced as I read my book, cuddled to Sirius's chest.
It was nice.
He liked having me close to him.
I rested my head on his shoulder, one of my legs draped over his body while his were around my waist, tracing a small scar on my back. It was late. We were both naked, smoking cigarettes as Bowie played on the record player. My fingers traced the tattoos on his chest, some clearly hiding scars.
My fingers trailed down his torso. He glanced down at me but I only smirked, leaning over his body, placing my hand on his thigh to put my book up onto the coffee table, bringing my glass of red wine with me.
I wasn't sure where I got the sudden confidence, it must've been the wine but I was straddling him, one of my hands on his chest while he shifted me to wrap my legs around his shoulder. I looked down at him and he grinned, "do you want to ride my face?" He asked,
I tilted my head, I hadn't done anything like that before but I nodded anyway.
He placed his hands on my ass, lifting me onto his face. His nose immediately pressed into my clit, a gasp leaving my lips at the feeling. I was hesitant to put pressure on him but he was already moving my hips with his hands.
I moaned when I felt his tongue pressing into my folds and I immediately began moving my hips. I dug my hands into his hair, flinging my head back as he squeezed my ass. My thighs trapped his face and when I squeezed them I could feel him smirk beneath me.
He inserted his tongue into me and I moaned at feeling, quickening my pace. I clenched around him, feeling his nose still pressing and rubbing my clit. He nipped at one of my folds, I groan left my lips as I tightened my fingers in his hair.
Just when I could feel my orgasm peaking, there was banging at the door.
I felt my high plummet as I slid off Sirius's face, falling onto his chest. We shared unimpressed glances, refusing to open the door that continued to bag since it was almost one in the morning.
"Lillian! Padfoot!" It was Remus.
Neither of us moved, knowing our clothes were down the hall on the bathroom floor.
"Can you two open the door?!" Dominic called out but they'd already unlocked the door with their spare key. Sirius flipped me over so he was covering my body but my legs were wrapped around his waist, he pulled them down, not that it made it look any better.
"Get out," Sirius grunted, fumbling for a blanket to wrap around me,
"Sorry for interrupting," Remus took a sat on the sofa ninety degrees from us, closer to my head,
"Mmm, you should be," Sirius grumbled, still leaning over me so my body wasn't exposed to the two men, "Could you two turn around and stop staring at my wife's tits?"
Remus jumped, immediately turning away which made me turn to Sirius with raised eyebrows.
"You've got nice tits," Dominic commented,
"Watch it, Langcastle," Sirius glared at him, sitting up shamelessly while I kept my arms folded over my chest. Sirius placed his hand on my thigh, rubbing it gently as Dominic raised his hands in defeat with a smirk,
"You remember your father's wedding, Lil?" Dominic asked brashly,
My eyes widened, "Yes, I remember,"
"Come here," He said calmly,
"Excuse me?"
"Come here," Dominic said again, locking eyes with Sirius.
I looked over at my husband who turned to me and gave me a nod. I furrowed my brows at him but Sirius turned back to Dominic, I then turned to Remus who too had furrowed brows, clearly unaware of what happened at my father's wedding.
Slowly, I pushed myself to my feet and made my way to Dominic. I stood above him and he placed his hands on my hips. I glanced back at Sirius who was watching intently. Dominic grabbed my jaw, forcing me to look at him, "It's okay," He assured me, running his hands up my back before cupping my breasts and running his thumbs along my erect nipples. I gasped uncontrollably at the feeling, sucking in a breath.
"You're so beautiful," Dominic told me, glancing over at Remus before focusing back on me, "You have no fucking clue what you did to me that night, I thought about you for fucking months. You and your tight little dress and no bra,"
Dominic turned to Sirius and I followed his gaze. His cock was hard, dripping precum as he watched us closely. Remus was no better with a large tent in his jeans when he stood up. I thought he was going to Sirius so I turned back to Dominic but I soon felt rough hands on my hips. Remus bit down on my neck, making me whimper loudly but he quickly began to suck and kiss the now tender and swollen skin.
"Remus," I breathed, tilting my head back to give him better access to my neck as his hand trailed down my torso, towards my soaking cunt while the other traced the initals on my hip. Remus's cock pressed into my thigh as he pulled my back closer into his chest for better access.
Dominic continued to tease my breasts, swatting Remus's hand away from my parted legs which made Remus let out a low growl. "Come on, Moony," Sirius grinned, standing up and approaching us. He cupped my cheek, pecking my lips, "Tell them if you change your mind, okay?" He whispered in my ear, placing a kiss on my temple, "At any time,"
I nodded, turning back to Dominic who pulled me onto the sofa beside him. He pushed me upright and spread my thighs, hovering above me while Sirius undressed Remus while leaving kisses on the scars around his neck.
"Fuck, you're gorgeous," Dominic muttered, his eyes glazing over my body carefully. Sirius and Remus were watching his next movements carefully.
He parted my thighs wide with his. His fingers traced over my scars delicately. I moved my hips against his jeans. The denim burned my pussy as I ground against him. He grabbed my chin, "Never told me your wife was such a whore." Dominic grinned, that same shit-eating smile on his lips he shared with Remus. I hadn't stopped, leaving dampness on his jeans.
Sirius had walked closer, his hand snaking around my neck, tightening his grip as his cold rings left marks. I'd stopped grinding, keeping eye contact. "Why don't you show them how much of desperate little slut you are?" He whispered. Dominic's hands were on my inner thigh as I lifted my hips. Remus lifted me, moving under me, my back pressed to his bare torso. His large cock pressed into me.
"Ride his cock like the good you slut you are," Sirius said in a low tone, his grip around my neck still there. Dominic moved my hips, his fingers running over the SB on them. Remus's cock aligned with my entrance and I lowered myself onto him. He arched his back and his hips lifted at the feeling, I wasn't much better. I began riding him, my tits bouncing as my hands pressed into Remus's bare thighs.
"So pretty," Sirius smirked, pinching my breasts before stepping away, letting Dominic step in.
I was losing my breath as I continued to ride Remus, his moans loud at the feeling. "Fuck you feel so good." He groaned.
He hit my g-spot as my legs shook uncontrollably. My hands ran along Dominic's long cock, continuing to give him a hand job.
I flung my head back as Remus repositioned, hitting my g-spot multiple times in a row. "Did I say you could cum?" Sirius said, his voice an octave lower. My body ached as a whimper escaped my lips, the growing feeling in me becoming unbearable. Dominic grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulling me up and off Remus's chest. I slipped the tip into my mouth, looking up at Dominic as I did so before he thrust into me.
"Such a good girl, taking two cocks at once." Sirius leaned back on the sofa, watching.
Moans and whimpers were stifled as I flicked my tongue around Dominic's cock. The unbearable feeling of coming was excruciating. I closed my eyes, squeezing my legs tightly. "Look at me when you have my cock in your mouth," Dominic said, I gripped his strong thighs as I looked up at him. Remus left kisses along my neck, biting, and kissing along them. He moved my hips fast against him. A cry escaped my lips.
He pulled out of me, coming on my thigh. Loud moans came from him as he buried his head in the crook of my neck which made me reach my orgasm. I grabbed Remus's bony hands, clutching them tightly while Dominic continued to fuck my mouth. The euphoric feeling rushed through me and I could feel my body shaking.
I hollowed my cheeks around Dominic's cock, flicking my tongue at his tip. He grabbed a fistful of my hair, bobbing my head around it and he came in my mouth, "open your mouth, darling." He said. I did as I was told, opening my mouth so he could see his come.
"Good girl. Sirius?" He glanced over at my husband, his chest was rising and falling a small smirk at his lips. Sirius stood up, a knife in his hands. I swallowed it, looking at Sirius with wide eyes. My hand still gripped Remus's, his free one running up my body.
Dominic stepped away as Sirius pressed the cold flat of the metal knife against my cheek, trailing the sharp tip down my breasts and stomach, he reached my thigh and he flipped the knife, pressing it against my pussy. I watched him carefully as he licked up Remus's cum on my thigh. I bucked my hips as he pressed the handle of the knife into my folds, a loud gasp from my lips.
SIRIUS BLACK'S POV:
She moved her hips against the knife, her pussy raw as I licked and kissed her inner thigh, she was still on Remus's lap, his hands pinching and squeezing her nipples, cries escaping her lips at his movements. "Such a good whore." I watched her eyes roll to the back of her head, "did I say you could come?"
"N-no." She whimpered, I moved the back of the knife slowly, in and out of her folds, purposely teasing her. Sweat trickled down her body as her legs tried to clam shut. I stopped them, prying them back open.
"Stay still." I told her as she squirmed at the feeling, grabbing my hair, and pulling me closer to her. I pulled the knife out of her, putting it down. I moved her off Remus. I pushed her head to my cock, her ass in my face as I slapped it. A loud cry escaped her at the stinging feeling as I slapped it again. My thumb traced her pussy carefully before licking her wetness and around her clit, my tongue slipping into her folds.
Her legs were wrapped around me as she played with my tip before taking it in her mouth. A hiss came from me at the feeling of her tongue running up and along my cock. "You act like a whore; you get treated like one." My voice was raspy as I slapped her ass again, a red tinge painting over it. "You think she's ready?" Dominic asked,
"I think so," Remus said.
She came to her second orgasm uncontrollably, she arched her back, her sweet moans coming from her coming all over my face. I pulled away, licking her come before Remus grabbed my chin, kissing me and licking the juices that was over my face.
"Tastes so good," he groaned, slipping his tongue into my mouth. She regained her breath, still sucking my dick mercilessly, her ass high in the air as I kissed Remus. I moaned into the kiss as I came. "Swallow," I demanded, she sat up, pressing her hands into my thighs when Remus kissed her before she could swallow it.
I repositioned her so she was on top of me, facing me. She ground against my cock, desperate to feel me inside of her, I wasn't much better. I felt her slowly lowering herself onto me. Her hands dug into my chest, her back arched like a cat and her head tilted back. Her pelvis crashed against mine repeatedly and her breasts bounced. I kissed down her sternum, slowly moving to her left breast and latching my lips around her nipple. She groaned at the feeling, digging her nails deeper into my hair.
Her legs began to shake and her walls clenched around me before she orgasmed. Lillian tugged my hair sharply into her neck. I kissed her neck, leaving hickeys while she tried to find her breath. My hands were on her ass, massaging each cheek.
"Sirius." She moaned, my movements hadn't seized through her orgasm, leading to mine. I squeezed her tits when loud groans ruptured from my throat. I repositioned her so she was on all fours, I was still beneath her, my hips lifted since I was still inside her. That was when Dominic lubed up his dick, bringing her ass up as he slapped it, a loud whimper escaping her lips.
Remus stood over Lillian as she looked up at him, her hands running up and down his cock before he thrusted back into her mouth. Her arms were around my neck, scratching and drawing blood as she rode me. "Is this okay, darling?" Dominic asked as he slowly inserted himself into her ass. His movements were slow at first before she nodded,
"I think she likes that, love." Remus said, his cock still in her mouth. I sucked on her tits and collarbones, leaving hickeys on top of where Remus left some. Dominic played with her ass cheeks, squeezing, and slapping them, making her jerk in response. Her legs shook as she continued to ride me, her tits bouncing and bobbing her head around Remus.
LILLIAN COX'S POV:
My moans were loud and pleasurable as Sirius fucked me, his hips rolling against mine as my chest heaved and I panted. Dominic slapped my ass hard and fast as he thrusted him into me, his pelvis hitting my ass. My nails dug into the back of Sirius's neck, drawing blood.
I sucked Remus's long dick, his cock hitting the back of my throat as he used fistfuls of my hair to guide me against him, he jerked his hips as I brought him out of my mouth, flicking his tip before he thrusted back into me without warning. My body burned and ached as I was reaching my third orgasm.
"Fuck." Sirius groaned as I reached my peak, him reaching his too. My eyes rolled to the back of my head. Remus was still in my mouth and Dominic had thrusted up my ass. The feeling was new.
Dominic thrusted into me slowly at first, "Is this okay love?" He asked, I nodded in response, and he started thrusting harder. Sirius moved his hips against mine, beginning to take over as I tired. E moved his hips, his hand moving to my stomach, "Can you feel me in you?" He asked as I dug my nails into him deeper.
His thrusts were fast as his thumb rubbed circles on my clit, I reached my climax. Loud moans escaped my throat at my orgasm, coming over Sirius for the fourth time. This led to his orgasm. Remus's thrusts fastened and got sloppier in my mouth as the warm liquid squirted down my throat, a choke escaping me as I swallowed it, Remus pulled out of me, cupping my chin to look at him.
I felt Dominic slap my ass, pulling out of me and coming on my lower back before he sat back down. Remus walked over to him, wrapping his arms around Dominic and burying his head in his shoulder while I collapsed onto Sirius.
Sirius wiped the saliva and tears off my face while Dominic grabbed a few tissues to clean up his mess on my back. "You alright?" Sirius whispered,
I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck and letting him lift me off his half-limp cock.
"This doesn't change anything right?" Dominic asked abruptly, I looked over at him with tired eyes, he was playing with Remus's hair as they cuddled up to one another.
"No, it changes nothing," Sirius reassured,
"You guys are good kissers." He admitted,
"I know." I grinned,
"Of course, you do." Remus rolled his eyes
"Literally, you two made out in front of me to make me jealous." Sirius said bluntly,
"And it worked." I grinned, kissing his collarbone.
"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes.
"Please." Remus waved his hand, "You think I just did it to make you jealous? You're not the only one who wanted to fuck your wife."
"That's enough." Sirius held his hand up,
"We hooked up all the time, Padfoot." Remus claimed,
"Nuh, uh." Sirius protested,
"No, that makes so much sense," Dominic said, running a hand through Remus's hair.
"It really does, I mean sometimes they both have so much sexual tension." I agreed,
"I thought we were dating in sixth year." Remus shrugged, "But we were just hooking up and when I broke up with him he was so confused."
"I was going through shit, Moony," Sirius claimed. "And I thought it was normal for best friends to hook up."
"It is." I smiled, wrapping my arms around Sirius's neck as I stared at Remus and Dominic. "I mean, I've hooked up with all my friends." I said, "like every single one of my Slytherin friends. I haven't slept with any of you, besides you three. And Dorcus."
"Even Snape?"
"Ew," I almost gagged, "I like my men with washed, silky, curly long black hair." I ran a hand through Sirius's hand,
"Same," Remus said, kissing Dominic's curls.
"I see you both have a very specific taste in men."
"Actually. I thought I was a lesbian for a while because I was only attracted to Regulus but that was when I was deeply in love with Wren and Lily and Dorcus."
"You were in love with Lily?"
"We literally made out in the sixth year." I drew my brows together.
"And Wren?"
"I was going through things. But I think I was just jealous she actually could come to terms with her sexuality, y'know? I was very against gay sex for myself. Then I had gay sex with Narcissa and I realized it's literal heaven."
"You just mentioned two of my family members," Sirius said in shock.
"Yeah, I like how you all look half dead." I pecked his lips.
"But... she chose to marry you, Pads. Out of all three of you." Remus smiled, "doesn't that make you feel special?"
"No need to be so passive, Moony." I scowled, "and neither of them was on the table when I fucked him the first time."
Sirius merely sighed, "you are so lucky I love you." He kissed my neck.
"I know," I whispered, placing my head on his shoulder, looking up at him with a smile which he returned.
Authors note:
Wolfstar is canon and i stand by that. Moon and stars, Pisces Scorpio, etc. Um, i got a bit carried away, bless yours and my souls. Anyways, go find some holy water i beg you because that is all i can do :)