After leaving the graveyard, Ruben drove Sanchez over to his grandparents house like he'd asked. He felt iffy about going but he was determined to get past a few things while on this trip. He'd already gone and visited his mother's grave like he wanted to, now he needed to speak to his grandparents. The last time he saw them was at his high school graduation because he invited them though he hadn't spoken to them for majority of the year. They had gone out of their way to shame Ruben at their family reunion and he wasn't having it. He spoke his peace and kept to himself until they made it back to Florida.
His grandparents had a hard time understanding how Sanchez could look at his father, knowing his ways resulted in his mother's death. To be honest, Sanchez just couldn't place blame on Ruben no matter how hard he tried. He lived in the home with them and saw the way Ruben protected them and made sure to provide. His parents weren't full out transparent with him about the lifestyle, but they lived in a one-bedroom apartment, there was only so much they could hide from him. If he didn't see it for himself, he overheard them talking about it.
It was also hard to place blame on Ruben when he stared one of the killers in the eyes as he prepared to be next. Yes, Ruben's way of protecting and providing back then wasn't the best way and came with deadly risks, but it was all they had. It allowed them to eat a hot meal every night, gave them somewhere to lay their head and wash their ass. Had Ruben not bitten the bullet of his old life they would've been living out his janky box chevy for years to come. They had no one to help them. They only had each other so something had to shake.
"I know you got bad blood with your people but don't go in there wantin' to start nothin'. You said you wanted to come see them so do that. See how they doin' and spend some quality time." Ruben lectured after parking in the driveway.
"I'm not on that with them." Sanchez grabbed his phone from his lap, ready to climb out. "I'll call you when I'm ready to go."
"Alright. Don't let them get to you, Nooney."
Sanchez gave his dad a head nod and got out the truck. He shut the door and walked around his grandfather's Infinity up to the front door. Someone was already peeking out of the blinds to see who was parked in their yard. Sanchez barely reached the door before it was pulled open and his grandma stood in the frame, twisting her rosary. Melva was in her early sixties with only her crow's feet and silver hair to show for it. She stepped over without a word and let Sanchez in the house.
"Long time no see." she spoke in english, catching him off guard. Melva learned to speak english at a young age but she preferred her native tongue in the house. She also knew Sanchez struggled to respond back in spanish.
"Yeah, I just wanted to come see how y'all are doing and wish you a Merry Christmas." Sanchez offered her a hug now catching her off guard. She embraced him. "Where's Papa?"
"In the bathroom. He almost piss up himself tryna watch tv." she shook her head. "Ruben couldn't come speak?"
"So you can call him the devil?" Sanchez sat down.
She sucked her teeth then walked toward the kitchen. "Is that not the truth? You want arroz con pollo? Chicken tamales? Fruitcake? Ponche de huevo? Water?"
"You don't have hibiscus limeaid?"
"Ah, no papi. You the only one who likes it."
Sanchez got up and moved to the table, "Arroz con pollo and water, please."
"Your hair's gotten long. You gon' cut it or let it grow?" she rinsed out a bowl to fix his food in.
"I can't cut 'em. My head's too big without them." he tossed his hanging locs to the side.
She made a noise and fanned her hand in disagreement. She put a couple spoonfuls in the bowl, shoved a spoon in it and carried it over to him. "¿Es demasiado?" is it too much? He shook his head. The sound of the bathroom door opening made her look over her shoulder. "Roberto! Look who's here."
"Yeah." Roberto emerged from the hallway, holding onto his bad leg. When he saw Sanchez at the table he broke out in a smile and gestured for him to stand up. "Ven." come.
"Wassup?" Sanchez gave him a hug while being mindful of his bad leg. "Merry Christmas."
"Still can't speak spanish." Roberto shook his head. He went on to mutter something in spanish that made Melva cut her eyes at him.
Sanchez rolled his eyes and reclaimed his seat. When it came to his grandparents, his grandfather was the one he couldn't spare. Roberto's tongue was malicious and he didn't care who feelings he hurt, who he wished bad upon or who didn't like it. He was the reason Danielle was kicked from the house. He wasn't fond of Ruben to begin with because he felt like Ruben didn't plan to go anywhere in life, and Ruben's arrest only solidified how he felt. Not even a few weeks after the arrest, they found out Danielle was pregnant and didn't want to go to college. Roberto blew up and knew it was all Ruben's doing when she never planned to go and Melva knew. They simply kept him out of the loop because of how he acted.
Even after losing Danielle, he didn't care to treat people better. It bothered Sanchez because he remembered his mom calling him the day she died and he wouldn't talk to her. All of their calls went the same way – she would try to apologize for disappointing him and he would spit more venom at her and hang up. Sanchez always wondered if Roberto felt any guilt for hanging up on her that day. It wouldn't have been productive but when he was younger he would pray that guilt ate Roberto alive at night and kept him just as restless as he used to be from his nightmares.
"Not today, Berto. He hasn't been here to see us in years."
"And that's on me?" Roberto sat down on the couch and sucked his teeth. "He like his father. Up and disappear then pop back up like nothing happen."
"Roberto." Melva pointed.
He threw his hand at his wife, turning the tv's volume up to tune the both of them out. Sanchez sat back in his seat staring at the old man. He couldn't wrap his mind around Roberto's nasty attitude. One would think the man would be grateful Sanchez took the time to get to know them after not really knowing who they were around the time of Danielle's death. It was Ruben who even told them what happened. He planned the funeral and made sure all of her family was there even though no one cared to really reach out when she was alive. Not even her siblings. Yet, Roberto still acted like his words didn't mean anything and like he didn't care to lose anybody else.
"If you want me to leave y'all alone I can do that. I try to be apart of this family but all y'all do is disrespect me and my daddy like he ain't take care of me and my mama when y'all put us out."
"He killed Danielle! He wasn't taking care of her." Roberto almost caught whiplash turning to Sanchez.
"She was murdered by four men. Not my daddy. If you were that concerned about whether he was taking care of her or not, you wouldn't have hung up on her that day. You remember that?"
Roberto looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"You always hung up on her after telling her she chose her fate and wasn't your child anymore. So what are you actually mad for? Your hands were washed."
"She called you the day she died?" Melva asked, rewinding the conversation. "You said you hadn't talked to her in months."
Roberto rubbed his forehead with a deep sigh. He tried to explain himself in spanish but Melva wasn't hearing it. There words were flying so fast Sanchez couldn't comprehend what was being said. All he knew was Melva was now upset and Roberto was unmoved. He sat giving his wife and uninterested express but letting her rant on anyway. However, something she said triggered him because he scooted up from the couch and walked over to her as fast as he could. Melva picked up a spoon and pointed at him, daring him to get near her or he was going to get swapped. Sanchez stood up and stepped in front of his grandmother. Roberto cursed for him to get out the way but Sanchez wasn't moving. Whatever Melva said to him hit a nerve.
"Hey, hey, hey!" the front door opened and in walked Sanchez's two uncles and their kids. "¿Que xopa por qué están gritando?"
"Ohhh, it's mister yeyé! Qué lo qué, mopri?" one of his cousins grinned from the doorway.
Sanchez's uncle Junior walked over to the scene and gently pulled his father back, asking him what was wrong. His uncle Alfonso stared at him like he was confused as to why he was there. It was always the same thing when he came over to visit. People acted like he was out of place and he hated it. Only one person accepted him and tried to get to know him and that was his cousin that was a few months older than him – Alfonso's estranged daughter. She stayed far away from the family just as much as he did. The two were close as kids because Danielle and her mother got along well and she had also dealt with the Laporte's hate so naturally they became friends for the kids. But much like everyone else, they fell apart when Danielle died because Ruben took off. That didn't stop Sanchez from finding his cousin on social media and keeping tabs on her. It was now their thing to check in every few months.
Sanchez wasn't about to deal with them when he didn't have to. There was no reason for him to volunteer himself to unnecessary stress. He tried being apart of the family for years now and it just wasn't going to work so he was done with it. He slipped around his uncle and grandfather and passed his cousins on his way out the door. They tried to ask where he was going but he ignored them, taking his phone out to order an Uber. He first texted his dad he was about to leave then went to order the ride back to the hotel. A horn blew from down the street making him look up and shake his head at Ruben's truck parked on the curb. He couldn't even hold back his smirk because his dad knew him too well. He thought Ruben would have been halfway to his destination by now but there he was parked down the street.
He jogged down to Ruben's truck and climbed inside, "You didn't think I could last more than thirty minutes?"
"I didn't think you could last more than ten. What happened?"
Sanchez leaned back in his seat, watching his grandma peek out the door for him. "It's just the same thing every time. I'm tired of trying with them. They don't want to move on from it and I'm not trying to live like that. She's gone. Hatred won't change that."
"I seen Alfonso and Junior go in. They said some' to you?"
"No, but Alfonso always look at me like he disgusted. Ol' parakeet looking ass."
Ruben laughed and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "At least you tried, son. For years. That family has a problem with holding grudges and being judgmental. At least you got Dallas."
"Let me call her and see how she's doing." he unlocked his phone and facetimed her. It rung for a minute then her face popped up as she sped walked off somewhere. "Ma! Look who's on the phone! How are youuu? You look good, Nooney."
"Thank ya. I try to keep myself right." he stroked his chin hairs. "I like this black and green hair you got going on. It's fye."
"Thank you. I'm feeling very shego and grinch this year. Ma, look! It's Sanchez." she put the phone in her mom's face causing her to jerk her head back and squint a bit. Sanchez laughed. "Ma stop looking like that. It's Nooney."
Christina gasped, "My fat boyyyy! Aw shit, look at you looking all handsome and stuff. How you doing?"
"I'm good, Tina." he chuckled. "Y'all having a good Christmas over there?"
"You don't hear all that damn noise? Kids running all up and thru here with their new toys. Where's that baldhead ass Ruben?"
"Not too much on me, Tina. I'm bald by choice." Ruben ran his hand over his head after Sanchez turned the phone toward him.
"Haven't I heard that one before."
"You been working out, Big Rube? You look swole from over here, chile. Who you tryna impress?" Dallas got back in the camera.
"Me, myself and I. If I let myself go you and Sanchez gon' talk shit so I gotta stay right."
"I'm so happy you already know. We athletes over here." she flexed her arm. "Damn, I miss y'all. Nooney you gon' slide thru for spring break this year? You flagged on me last year."
"I got you! I'll be in Miami."
"Alright now. I'ma hold you to it so I better see you. I'm happy you called me because I thought about you this morning. Your uncle texted me like we're cool or something."
"I just left from over there that's why I called. Them are your people, man."
She scoffed, "I don't claim them. Auntie Dani and you are my only relatives from over there. Everybody else just happen to have the same last name as me."
"Type shit. I'll talk to you later tho. Stay up, cuzzo."
"You too. Love you." she kissed at the phone.
He chuckled, "Love you too."
Any other year, Sanchez would be in Tampa enjoying Christmas by watching movies and snacking on whatever Ruben cooked for the day. Sometimes he would even go over to Dorian's people house and sit with them for a little bit just to enjoy the family joy. It was always just him and Ruben and sometimes he wanted to feel the big family spirit others felt. The houseful of people being way too loud with conversation and laughter, singing, card games and drunken family members ruining the moment. Much how it was on Thanksgiving at the Mitchell's. He had a really good time with Asha's family because they were very welcoming and knew how to keep the family fun going. When an argument broke out they let the moment pass and fell right back into whatever they were doing prior. A lot of them also had nice things to say about his mom too. They weren't close with her but they all knew of her because of how tight she and Sydnie were. That was refreshing...hearing so many people speak positivity on his mom's name.
"Since you didn't stay, I gotta let you know that the trip to the bar was cancelled. They're all getting together at Sydnie's parents house. We can either go or take it back to the hotel."
"Nah, we can go. They're cool to be around."
"Hell yeah." Ruben agreed. "I forgot how much fun they like to have over there. But since it's the grandparents house it might be even more people there."
"It's cool."
"You must really want to see Asha huh?" Ruben laughed.
Sanchez smacked his teeth, "Now why you had to go and say that? I like their family."
"And you like their daughter too. You told her you like her?"
"No. I'm still tryna process and sort that out." he answered, truthfully. He wasn't all the way sure of what he felt but he knew it was along the lines of being in like with someone. He just needed to have an evaluation with himself.
"Well, until you do that I don't think it's smart to flirting and playing like y'all was last night. Keep it calm."
Sanchez nodded.
The reported cold front hadn't seemed to last long because the temperature was back to it's usual seventy five degrees with a lil chilly wind. But as long as a little heat was felt from the sun, the people were outside including Asha's family. Much like any other holiday, both sides of Asha's family had come together to celebrate the holiday. The location just changed. It went from Sydnie and Ashton's house to Sydnie's mother house in Loxahatchee. The yard was filled with children from ages two to seven on tricycles and scooters. The older kids sped through the neighborhood on their four wheelers, dirt bikes and go carts while the adults sat in open conversation with wine coolers and beers.
Good ol' blues blasted from the speakers making the older women grind in their chairs and snap their fingers. The men sung around the grill with a swagged out two step. Asha adjusted the toddler on her hip as she pushed the screen door open to get outside. It slammed shut behind her, gaining some attention. Sydnie looked over and smiled at the sight of her daughter coming back out with her third wine cooler. Asha shook her head with a smirk but passed it off to her mom anyway. Asha liked seeing her mom kicked back and enjoying herself because she knew every since she moved out it was hard for her to do. The boys really gave her a hard time and so did her job.
"Girl put that baby down and go do something!" her auntie fussed and reached for the baby.
"Her daddy taking a nap so I got her for a lil bit." Asha explained. It wasn't like she really had anything to do anyway.
"Hand me that baby and go ride them bikes like all the other kids. You don't need no damn baby on yo hip. You ain't nobody's mother."
Asha handed the baby over. "I already fed her so she's just chilling right now."
"Okay, go ahead baby." she fanned her off.
Asha saw Drew coming down the road on his dirt bike so she ran to the street to catch him. He slowed down and stopped in front of her, knowing she wanted to hop on the back. She didn't hesitate to throw her leg over the bike and hike herself up on the seat with him. He waited until she had her arms tightly secured around his waist before he sped off causing Sydnie to yell at him. She was screaming for him not to get her hurt but he or Asha could hear her over the loud engine. They sped through the neighborhood riling up the dogs with the noise and even getting chased by a few.
"I'll run yo lil ass over you better move!" Drew taunted a yorkie that came running from its yard with its owner chasing behind it.
Asha laughed with tears in her eyes from the cool wind blowing in her face from how fast Drew was going. She knew for a fact her hair was blowing all over the place but she didn't care. She was enjoying the ride especially because Drew was reckless. He liked to swerve around cars, pop wheelies and spin on the front wheel for fun and she love it. The adrenaline was like no other.
"Let me drive back!" she yelled loud enough for him to hear.
"What!?"
"Let me drive back!" she leaned closed to his ear. He nodded and pulled off the road to the sidewalk.
She jumped off the back full of excitement and quickly tied her hair up in a sloppy bun for the time being. As she got herself ready for the drive back, Drew scooted back on the seat and held the bike up until she was ready. She climbed back on and fixed the mirrors to her liking. Drew didn't have an ounce of worry in his body because he'd let Asha drive him numerous times before. He knew she was well trained on how to handle the bike but he also knew she was just as wild as he was. She was a sharp turner and a speed demon. She knew how to do tricks too but it wasn't her cup of tea when she had a passenger. He, on the other hand, didn't care if he was alone or not.
"Be careful, man. I don't need any problems with Syd and Ash." he warned.
"I got you, Drewski." she smiled over her shoulder, checked her surroundings and took off.
Instead of following the same path Drew took, she went her own way so she'd be able to catch more speed. She wasn't new to this she was true to this. With living in the south and countryside like her grandparents lived, bikes were very popular. Almost every kid owned one growing up and Asha and Drew were one of them due to their grandfather's obsession with bikes. At one point he owned four motorcycles and always wanted his grandkids to trail along with him. He was the type of man to take his grandkids with him every where he went so he bought them all mini bikes when they were just four and five years old. From that moment the kids were in love with their new hobby and quality time with their granddad.
For years, he took his grandkids out to the fields to tear up the grass. Every officer that patrolled the area knew their family from some neighbors calling the police and complaining about noise or them being kn their way. Their grandfather could care less and always had them right back out riding the next weekend. Even after he fell sick a few years later and stopped riding, he would ride behind them in his truck to still spend time with them. He even sold three of his motorcycles to get them upgrades once they got older to keep their thrill alive. Asha no longer had her own bike because she passed it down to Jeremiah but she'd forever know how to ride.
"Asha slow your behind down!" Sydnie screamed as Asha flew past the house to the end of road and bust a u-turn. Her and Drew were both laughing because every time Asha rode, Sydnie's blood pressure skyrocketed. Asha slowly pulled up to the house, flashing her mom a smile. "That's not funny, Bug. You go way too damn fast on that thing."
"That's the point of it, Ma." she climbed off. "Grandaddy tell your daughter to relax."
"Asha. Don't do that." Ashton gave her a stern look.
"Do what?" she turned her face up. "I'm talking to my granddad."
"Babyyyyy, come here." her grandad called her over to prevent an argument between her and her father. He knew Asha like the back of his hand and hated when Ashton riled her up.
"I'm not gonna argue with him, grandaddy." she walked over to the seventy year old man.
"How do I know that? You do it every time." he looked up at her with raised eyebrows. "How was the ride?"
"Amazing! I miss being able to come over here on the weekends and ride. I guess it's Duke and 'nem's turn to terrorize the neighborhood."
"Yeah, y'all done y'all damage."
Asha was then nudged by her grandma, "Ain't that your lil friend from Thanksgiving? Who he is again? Danielle's son?"
Quickly, Asha looked where her grandmother was looking and sure enough Sanchez stood beside a truck talking to Drew. He had his arms folded and a focused look on his face as he listened to whatever Drew was saying to him. Asha was kind of surprised to see him in something other than joggers or nike shorts. He was in cargos and a sweatshirt and she could admit he looked good. She tore her eyes away from him.
"Yes, and why are you calling him my lil friend? I didn't tell you nothing about us being friends."
"Oh, but I got eyes, miss thang. I seen the way y'all was looking at each other, grinning and flirting while y'all was going thru them pictures. I'm always watching, Dulabug."
"Just nosey. And it's not even like that."
"So what it's like?" Grandad asked. "Call him over here."
"That's what I'm not doing." Asha quickly shook her head, ears beginning to tingle because she knew they were going to find a way anyhow.
"Why not? It's not like that remember. I just want to officially meet the handsome young man. I will say you got taste just like your grandma. I love me a thick 'em. You see I married one."
"Drew!" Grandad yelled.
"Grandaddy st—" Asha tried to whisper while also trying to fix her hair because she knew it looked a mess. Grandma reached over and helped her out.
"You two come here." he fingered them over.
The boys walked over and Asha couldn't help but notice Ruben being curious as to why his son was being called by the old man. He asked Ashton who the man was and quickly found out it was Sydnie's father. Asha pushed the fly aways the wind blew in her face behind her ears as soon she locked eyes with Sanchez. He gave her a small smile before putting his eyes on the man that summoned him and Drew. Asha sat wondering what her grandad was up to because he was an unpredictable man. He did what he wanted to and said whatever came to mind. He didn't sugarcoat but he wasn't in the business of blatantly hurting feelings.
"Who are you young man? I don't think I've met you before."
"No sir, I'm Sanchez."
"Nice to meet you, son. Do I know your people? I'm told you're a friend of my baby here." he touched Asha's arm.
"You might. My mom and Ms. Sydnie were friends."
"Your mom and Syd? Syd ain't have no friends forreal. What's yo mama name?"
"Danielle."
"Danielle? Danielle...Well I be doggone! She did come 'round here with a lil boy. I'm sorry you had to lose your mama, son. You welcome to come 'round here any time I'll tell you that. Hell that Danielle would walk in here like she paid rent! She was a brave and sweet girl. I was glad to know her."
"And could sang a house down." Grandma chimed in. "You can sing, sweetheart?"
"Aw, no ma'am." Sanchez shook his head making Asha laugh. She knew he was horrible. "She didn't pass that down."
"You in school? You look like you play ball. You play ball?" the questions just kept coming with Grandad.
"Yessir, I'm an offensive linemen at USF."
"Aw, I ain't been keeping up with them bulls. Baby he any good? Keep it straight wimme'. I don't care if he standin' right there."
"You know I don't really watch sports, Grandaddy. I just like to see them in uniform. I don't actually pay attention." Asha answered.
"You my child or Sydnie's?" Grandma laughed. "The older you get the more you act like ya grandma."
Grandad agreed with a lil scoff then put his attention back on Sanchez, "I'ma keep an eye out for you. I don't care for them bulls like that but I wanna see what you got. What's your last name?"
"Harmon."
"Sanchez Harmon." he nodded. "But that's not what I really called you over here for."
"Oh Lord." Drew sensed what his dad was up to. He started to laugh while looking at Asha who was trying her hardest to keep a neutral face. "Daddy don't do it."
"What I'm finna do?" he held his arms out like he was confused.
"Don't do my niece like that."
"Hush yo mouth." Grandad tried to fight back a smile because he knew he was playing games. Sanchez, however, was confused and wanted to know what was being talked about. "You single, son?"
For some reason, Sanchez hesitated and looked over at Asha. He looked back at the old man then answered, "Yessir."
"You got your eyes on anybody?" Sanchez hesitated, looking at Asha again. "Why you keep lookin' at my baby?"
"I'm just tryna figure out where this is going." Sanchez laughed, nervously.
"Nowhere. Just an old man being nosey."
"I'm focused on school and ball right now."
"Smart answer." Grandad nodded. "I'ma leave you alone. I hope to see you around some more."
Sanchez simply nodded and let Drew lead him off somewhere in the backyard. Asha pushed her grandaddy's shoulder making him laugh. He never planned to throw her under the bus but he did want to see her sweat. Asha was always a confident girl so it was easy to tell when she liked someone because she grew anxious and tried to avoid any negative situations with that person. Her grand-parents always picked up on it and teased her for it.
"One of these days, I'm going to dump y'all two to the curb for treating me like this." she folded her arms.
"Yeah right." Grandma fanned her hand.
Soon enough, all the dirt bikes and four wheelers were put up in the shed due to police coming thru and flashing their lights as a warning. However, it was perfect timing because it was now going on five o'clock and the food was about done, and the kids were starting to settle down. They had been out all morning and would be fast asleep after they had food in their system. The men were ready to get all the meat off the grill so they could catch the five o'clock basketball game. They had missed two games already due to the women forcing them to stay outside and help watch the kids because they were in and out cooking the side dishes.
Like all the others, Asha retreated inside to charge her phone and have a moment to herself. She had been playing with kids and holding conversation since she woke up and needed a minute of silence. Therefore, she hid in the corner of the dining room they weren't allowed to eat in and played sudoku on her phone. It wasn't as silent as it would be had she been back home because she could hear Drew yelling like a mad man as he played with the kids in the living room. The women were loud and drunkenly gossiping in the room over as they began to fix plates for everyone. But this was the quiet she missed sometimes. It was a noisy quiet where she was in fact alone in a room but there was comforting noises of others to let her know she wasn't necessarily alone alone.
"Has anybody seen Dula? I can't find her." she heard Ashton ask all the women.
"Try calling her phone." Sydnie responded.
"She might be in the dining room, Ashton. If she's in there don't bother her. That means she need a minute." said Grandma.
Ashton came around the corner and found her but he didn't turn around like his mother in law told him. He walked in and took a seat beside her. She kept focus on her game, choosing not to pay him any mind until he spoke. He took a few deep breaths then put his hand over her phone.
"We need to talk." his breath reeked of beer. "You haven't said a word to me all day today."
"Maybe because I have nothing to say." she shrugged.
"I don't know what you want me to say, Asha. Yes, I stepped out on your mother. It happened so long ago. Let it go. Forgive and move on."
"You're drunk. Can you go in the other room and we talk about this when you're not?"
"No, no, no. You wanted to have this conversation so bad so let's have it. I cheated. Sydnie and I moved on. Why can't you do the same huh? Why must you hold this grudge with me? I'm still your father, Dula."
She cringed, "Stop calling me that, please. And I've told you why I have a grudge, because you have yet to apologize for how I was treated during the whole thing. I had to raise two kids because y'all were having a hard time. I didn't get to enjoy high school because instead of solving whatever issue you guys had you went and stepped out on your family. I would've been okay if you told me you were sorry for putting so much on me, for cheating, it would never happen again and you were going to mend mom's pain. But that's not what you said to me. You told me to stay in a child's place and to get the 'eff outta your office. You remember that?"
"I didn't say that. I wouldn't talk to you like that." he shook his head.
"But you did, dad." she bit the inside of her cheeks to prevent herself from getting emotional. "And I was heartbroken you would even talk to me like that but mom assured me you would come home and apologize because that wasn't you. I believed that wasn't you either but the apology never came. You didn't say anything to me when you got home or the next morning. Then out of nowhere you wanted to take me on a father-daughter date. Thought you were going to talk about it then too. Nope. You never believed I was worth saying sorry to."
"No, no, that's not what it is."
"Then what is it!? I've been waiting. Mom got an apology but I didn't. You can't say sorry Asha for neglecting you and the boys because I was in a dark place. I'm sorry for breaking your mother's heart and I'm sorry you had to see it. I'm sorry for not thinking you would understand what was happening and that people make mistakes. What's hard about it!? Is it that you're not sorry for any of that!?"
"Asha calm down—"
"Don't tell me to fucking calm down!" she jumped up.
"Hey!" Grandma shouted from the kitchen, hearing Asha curse.
"You came in here bothering me! You wanted to talk so we're talking. Are you not sorry for any of it!?" Ashton stared up at his daughter in disbelief. "Fucking say something! Are you sorry or not!? It's a simple question."
"Asha Yaris Denise Mitchell!" Sydnie called, coming from the kitchen along with everyone else.
"I am." Ashton started to get up.
"Then say it! I shouldn't have to beg you like this. I'm tired of being mad at you. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not worth anything to you. I just want my daddy back."
His eyes went back and forth between Asha's as he opened and closed his mouth like he had something to say. Nothing came out. He scanned the floor like it had the words he needed but still nothing came from his mouth. In defeat, he grabbed his head.
"Ashton." Sydnie called his name, shocked he couldn't give their daughter what she needed from him.
"Oh my God." Asha stormed out of the room past the crowd of family that formed around the entrance.
She went out the back door and walked across the field to get herself together. She didn't want to cry about it but she was hurt. There was a physically pain in her chest from embarrassment and what felt like heartbreak. Ashton had broken her heart a second time but this one hurt much worse than the first one. This one had her feeling like she couldn't breathe even though she was standing in a field of fresh air.
Loud arguing between Sydnie, Jeremiah and Ashton came from the house that she couldn't hear. Her brother went into a rage after seeing his sister cry yet again because of their father. He was close to swinging on him but Sydnie had to interfere which led to a big argument between her and Ashton. Their family was trying to diffuse the whole situation, ultimately leaving Asha outside to cry alone. Once she got to the big oak tree, she leaned against it and let everything out. It seemed to be the way she could stop the pain and breathe.
"Asha." a voice softly called her name, almost like they were scared to bother her.
"I-I'm o-o-okay." she pushed out but the lie seemed to make her cry even harder.
Sanchez gently turned her around and wrapped his arms around her. The tight hold was comforting and the way he rested his head on top of hers made her feel like she was safe there. She could cry as hard as she wanted to, for as long as she needed to, and that's what she did. She had never cried that hard before but she felt so defeated it was all she could really do. It felt like she'd lost a long battle with someone she never wanted to go to war with in the first place. After a while, her tears began to dry up but Sanchez never let her go. He softly swayed them side to side while listening to her shallow breaths even out as she calmed down.
She wrapped her arms around him, whispering, "Thank you."
"You're good to go back inside or you need to stand here a lil bit longer?" he asked still swaying them with the wind.
"I need a minute." she admitted with a sniffle. She kept her eyes closed and listened to the slow beat of his heart. When she felt herself getting sleepy while standing there in his arms, she let him go and kept her head down. "I think I'm good now. Thank you."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." she sniffed, brushing her fly aways from her face.
"How am I supposed to know for sure when you looking at the ground? Look at me and tell me you're okay."
She raised her head with a groan, "I look crazy. Why do you want me to embarrass myself even more?"
"No, you don't. And if anyone embarrassed themselves in there it wasn't you." he pulled the sleeve of his sweater over his hand and wiped around her nose.
"Oh my God, my nose was running!? And you just wiped it on your sweater? Sanchez that's gross."
"I got a shirt on under here." he shrugged, pulling his arm out of the sleeve altogether.
"First that happens, I cry like someone died and then you have to clean my nose like I'm a toddler. I'm going to step in traffic." she walked around him.
"Chill with the dramatics." he chuckled. "You act like there's not snot and tears all over my sweater anyway." he pointed out the wet stain on his chest then took the sweater off. "It's all good."
"Why do you have to be so likable?" she muttered under her breath. "Why are you still everywhere I am?"
"You talking shit about me?" he frowned.
"Yes." she abruptly stopped walking. "Yes, I am. We're not friends anymore so I'm not supposed to be around you like this yet you're still everywhere. And you're so damn charming and handsome, and you do stupid stuff like wipe snot from my nose after I cried in your arms for fifteen minutes. Like what am I suppose to do at this point? You know what? Don't answer that." she started walking again.
"If you want me to stop coming around then I—"
"Oh, hush your mouth." she stopped walking. "You're obviously apart of the family now. They're going to invite you to everything we ever have from here on out and if you don't come they'll talk about you and feel like you don't like them."
"That's cool with me if you don't want me here. I fuck with your family 'cause they cool as hell but I've been coming to see you. I miss you."
"You miss your homie and I get it. I miss you too trust me but it's a little more than that for me and I'm not tryna be the one to hurt my own feelings, again. You're more than welcome to be apart of this family. I want you to have family but all of this – like yesterday and just now is a no. We're cordial. If you ever change your mind then we can talk but until then we're cordial."
She headed toward the house and saw Sydnie sitting on the porch with Grandma. She knew they were gonna want to talk so she looked over her shoulder to see how close Sanchez was, but he wasn't there. She turned to her left and saw him disappear on the side of the house. Her heart sank because she felt like she'd hurt his feelings but she had to set boundaries for herself and stand on them. If she hadn't she'd be turning back into the naive girl that Mateo was able to get over on.
"You okay?" Sydnie pat her leg for Asha to sit on. Asha didn't hesitate, letting her mom comfort her.
"Yeah."
"Everything alright with you and Nooney? Looked like y'all was in disagreement about something."
"We're fine. You mind if I stay here to Grandma's and drive home tomorrow? I'm ready to go back home."
Sydnie exhaled and kissed her daughter's head, "Do what serves you, okay? You know you can talk to me whenever you're ready."
"I know, and I love you."
"I love you so much more."
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Q U E S T I O N S
1. Any thoughts on the Laporte family? Sanchez's decision to leave them alone altogether?
2. How do y'all like Asha's grandparents?
3. Tell me how the semi-talk with Ashton made you feel. How should the next talk between them go, if there is one?
4. Any thoughts on Sanchez comforting Asha only for her to turn around and reenforce her boundaries?