(edited)
Sophisticated Lady by Tony Bennett
"He's out? What do you mean he's out?" I lean up watching the comforter slip off of my food-stained hoodie that wasn't even mine. The guys stare at me from the bed they've occupied the past two days as a phone glowed in the darkness of the room.
It was still morning when they had gotten the text from Eli. And yet on my phone, there were no messages. None. Not from Pete, not from Eli, not even from Cher. God, I haven't heard from her since we left for Italy.
My head falls back onto the pillow as I feel my whole world begin to spin around me. Was it going to be like this always?
"So where the fuck is he?" Blocking out any light that wasn't around me I place my arm over my eyes surrounding myself in a second coat of darkness. The two don't say anything having either no idea or do know and don't want to say where. Groaning I flip over stuffing my face into the fabric wishing the lack of oxygen would just kill me instantly instead of slowly. I've felt like this before, where I wanted the world to just swallow me up and never spit me back out. But that was when I was with Ira, this time will be different.
"Um, here. Actually, I'm just not sure where." Jeffrey is the first to speak among the pair causing me to let out another groan at his answer. How could he know but not know?
"What do you mean you're not sure? He's here in the hotel?" I sit up squinting as I'm nearly blinded by sunlight that had somehow slipped its way in through a crack in the curtains.
"Wel-" A knock sounds through the room causing a pounding to erupt in my chest out of nowhere. My hands grew sweaty as I held on tightly to the sheet beneath me hoping it was who I thought it was going to be.
Henry trudges over to the door opening it to the point where only he could see who he was talking to. Jeffrey rolls his eyes and continues on with reading the news or whatever bullshit he was doing on his phone. I start to pick at my nails anxiously waiting for Henry to reveal who was at the door but he never does, instead rather he shuts it.
"Hey, um, Ara?" He walks over carefully as if he was walking through an unstable minefield. "Could I possibly speak to you quickly?"
I glare at the back of his head as I get up causing my joints to ache from hours of not being to move. Is this what getting older feels like? We head weirdly to the bathroom where he shuts the bathroom door closed despite only one other person being in the room.
"Look. I don't want to be the dick here but." He avoids eye contact and instead looks in the mirror behind me showing of course him. "You need to leave the hotel room. And probably New York, for the time being."
"The fuck do you mean for the time being?" I furrow my eyebrows and lean back against the counter creating what more distance I'm able to between us.
"Here's a plane ticket. Your stuff is being taken down to a taxi." Still avoiding eye contact, guilt? Pain? Could it be he was actually hurting by doing this?
"I don't understand.." I speak more softly trying to keep my anger to a minimum knowing it wouldn't get anywhere with him. "Henry?"
"Please, Ara. I know we don't have the best relationship but please just listen to me." He looks at the shut door before finally looking me in the eyes. "Run. Get the fuck out of here and go back to Vegas. If you have to, go back to Ira. Just get away from here for good."
His eyes begged for me to listen. Something I've never seen in anyone towards me. It caused me to stop breathing for a second as I processed the words that had left his mouth.
"At least walk me out?" This was happening way too fast for me to understand.
"I can't." He almost mouths the words as he barely breathes out those two words. I can't. All I do is nod as I run my fingers through my tangled hair.
Chatter could be heard from outside the room as Henry's eyes widen, there were people in the room. I had to stay strong until I got to the taxi. Or at least the elevator.
Henry opens the door painstakingly slowly to the point where I could feel the depth of my breathing as pins began to stick in my skin. Closing my eyes I let out a breath and make my way out ignoring every single person in the room, I didn't even dare to see who they were. I didn't wish to. All I wanted to do was leave and not risk being any more embarrassed.
I couldn't even make it to the elevator before I felt wetness coat my pores. And then when I heard my name being yelled from down the hall by a voice I fell to sleep to almost every single fucking night I could do nothing about it as the doors shut blocking me off from all sorts of connection. My body falls to the ground as I sob into my knees. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
Somewhere in our story, someone plotted something. It wasn't supposed to happen like this or end like this. It wasn't going to. Not if I had anything to do about it.
Lifting my head up I watch the red numbers tick down from 7 to 6 as I force myself to stand up like the adult I am. If this was going to work, I'd have to play the villain for the time being. Even if that meant hurting him along the way.
The doors open as I wipe away any evidence of my tiny meltdown in the elevator. A bustle of people move through the hotel lobby heading in and out and as for me, it was out. Out of this city and back into familiarity where I knew I wouldn't be so vulnerable. Somewhere where I was more comfortable and could have more time to think things out. And there was only one person I could go to about this.
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Red lights flash atop my skin tone as I pushed my way through the crowd. Greedy hands sneaked a way in then and there but it was nothing I wasn't used to. Loud music pulsated through my eardrums as people I'd never seen before do the same thing I did not that long ago. Dancing their life away for ignorant people who could care less about them.
Some things didn't change though.
"Randy! Hey! Long time no see." I slap his back as he just grunts in response going back in security form. "Still not much of a talker I see."
"Still a slut I see." I fake a gasp at his words as my hand goes to my chest which showed a little bit too much off.
"Only for the right people." Winking at him I turn around to look at the surprisingly busy crowd for a Tuesday. "Where's Lilith at?"
"Her office. I'm sure you know where that is." He nods and goes back to being the tough guy he portrays as I just roll my eyes and stroll to the back area of the club where guests weren't welcomed. As I make my way through all I see is new faces and a few old ones, very few old ones.
I don't bother knocking on the door seeing how I didn't even work here anymore to get fired for anything.
And there she was. The mother of all the unwanted broken children. The woman who even though denies it does more good than bad. Lilith. Her name truly fitted her.
"Hey, mama bear." I sneak up behind her giving her a hug and catching her off guard. She gasps and twists around in my arms as a shocked look covers her face.
"Oh my god! Ara!" Her arms tighten around me nearly suffocating me as I felt nothing but happiness for the first time this week. "Babes! How have you been?"
"Oh, you know... Just living." I let out a tight laugh that I knew she wouldn't be able to look past. She knew me all too well.
I feel her body depart from mine as my eyes move down to our feet. Broken in tennis shoes on mine and black heels on hers.
"What happened? Tell the truth." Tears swell in my eyes as I look back up at the ceiling hoping they would slip by her this time.
"God. Where do I even start? I met this guy. He was perfect in almost every way possible, I changed my entire life for him. We were inseparable, a dynamic duo, lovers who were unstoppable. But it's changed and I don't know what to do. I don't even know if he cares, he's all the way in another state." Frowning she grabs onto my arm rubbing it up and down.
"Like, my whole life changed just for him. And now that he's not here I have no idea what to do."
Loud music pounded in from the club as a quiet solitude rested in on us. All I could feel was my breathing taking up my throat and the bass that vibrated the whole room.
"All I can tell you babes is to just be yourself. You can and will live without him."
A loud sigh escapes my lips as I lean back against her back feeling her eyes watch my every move.
"I can't though. I have no idea what I'm doing." I feel her warmth next to me, calming and controlling my emotions. "I just have this rage inside of me at him for some reason."
"That's normal. You're angry, confused, betrayed. There are two options here, you fight stupidly for him or you give up. My first question is, are we still portraying Arabella? Or are we back to.."
"No. Never. Arabella, but this time I think I'm letting her take control and never going back." As the words leave my mouth I feel a weight get taken off my chest. I was letting go of the past and welcoming in someone who I felt comfortable in. Arabella, who was now entirely me. "From now on. I'm Arabella always. The past is done with forever."
"I hope you know what you're doing." She breathes calmly as I stare listening intently, "Because from this point on it can only go downhill or up to the stars."
"I have nothing else to live for. It's this or go back to my old ways." She shakes her head and takes my hands into hers gently.
She stares deeply into my eyes to almost hypnotize me. "Listen to me. To go forward with this, you might have to dig back into the past. Use a thing or two that I know you won't want to."
I feel my breath grow heavier as I know exactly what she's talking about. What thing I will have to use in order to move on from here? I just wasn't sure if I wanted to go that far in.
"Are you saying?.."
"Yes, Ara. Go. I'll be here when you get back okay?" She smiles a warm smile, one that one would usually receive from their mother. I give her one last hug before I stalk my way out of the office and out of the building using the back exit. The same alley from that one night. Garbage and cigarette butts still littered the floor but there was no Porsche Spyder at the end of the street this time, just the empty air.
I wrap my raincoat tight around my body as I step around the puddles that coated the floor. It was now or never to do this.
The air was coated with smoke and the musk of expensive cologne. Loud obnoxious laughter rang through the room as I slipped my way through the bodies. Not him. Not him. Definitely not him. Gross, not even close. I sigh until I finally find him.
His head leaned back as laughter poured out of his mouth as one arm lay swung out over some random girl's shoulders. A cigarette rested in between his lips unlit as a game of cards was being played out in front of him.
I began pushing my way through the sweaty bodies until I reached him. Ira. A soft light fought the dark shadows that followed him everywhere he went. Once I had reached the circular table all noise had dispersed and the weight inside my chest grew heavier as I feel a certain pair of eyes fall on me. Ones I knew all too well and ones that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
"Well, if it isn't little Ara. I knew you'd come crawling back eventually." His arm drops from the girl as he leans forward with a smirk on his stupidly handsome face.
"Shut up. I'm not here for that." Crossing my arms across my chest the jacket crinkles with noise as I glare at him from across the table. "I need your help."
"Mm, is that so?" He stands up smoothing out his smooth before nodding his head at the others who sat at the table as he walks up closer to me. His arm falls naturally around my waist as we begin walking to somewhere quieter. "What do you need?"
We step into a side room where a fireplace is laid lit casting a perfect orange glow onto the carpet floor. This was the only way to pull this off right. I had no other choice but to turn to him. No other choice.
I gulp down my nervousness as I watch him fall into an armchair with a glass of whiskey I hadn't noticed was there beforehand.
"How are you so..." I struggle with the right words as I didn't want to offend him in some way. "You."
He chuckles as he leans the glass back into his lips before shaking his head. Wiping his lips of the liquid he rests his elbows on his knees locking eyes with me.
"I'm going to need more of an explanation than that."
"Mean. The villain. The guy no one likes but wishes they were him." I roll my lips wishing he hadn't made me say the rude things out loud about him.
"Why? Did your boyfriend break up with you and now you're seeking revenge?" The glass clinks against the wood as he rests it on the side table.
"He wasn't my boyfriend nor did we break up for your information." Huffing out a breath I take a step closer to him placing myself in between his open legs.
I knew all his secrets. All the ways to get under his skin and all the ways to make him give me what I want. I knew him inside and outside. It wouldn't be hard to convince him to teach me how to be the bad guy.
I place myself on his lap as my hand creeps on the back of his neck playing with his hair that has grown longer from the last time I saw him. Do not let yourself fall into your own game, Arabella. His breath quickens as I lean my lips closer to his skin letting my breath fan across his skin.
One of his hands greedily wraps around my waist as the other grabs onto my cheek. Our bodies were so close together that I swear you could feel each of our hearts beating. His free hand finds its way to my face; grabbing my chin and holding my face in the most gentle way he's ever been for years.
I guess this was one of those moments. Those moments you don't realize you know what you've lost until it's gone for good.
"So?" I whisper ever so lightly to him, "What's your secret?"
"Do you want me to tell you or to show you?" His voice was low as he brought our faces closer together in proximity. "It's not easy you know? Being the villain."
The fireplace crackles as a few embers float up above it creating sparks in the air ever so often. My body falls against his as I rest my head on his shoulder embracing a warmth I haven't felt in weeks. A calmness washed over me even though I knew this was wrong on so many levels and even a betrayal I could probably never make up for.
"I don't expect it to be easy. But I do want it to be done right." Closing my eyes I count each time his chest rises and falls with every breath he took. One, two, three. "And don't think I'm doing this because of Pete."
He chuckles causing the steady pattern of his breathing to flatter in my mind. "I'm guessing it's due to that douchebag Eli then?"
"He's more of a douche than you are. That says a lot." I smile as I hear him scoff at my words. Ira. Except it wasn't this new power-hungry Ira that fucked random strippers behind my back but instead my Ira. The one I had originally fallen for and the guy who showed me everything I knew today.
"Well, darling, the only way to get to him is to use his power against him. Find his weak spot and use it." He shifts slightly underneath me as he reaches over for his drink, "People who know him, his secrets, ruin his life slowly. And when he's at his breaking point do to the absolute fucking worst."
"He has a daughter."
"Perfect. Drive that fucker crazy, God knows he deserves it and someone to actually do it." He pauses leaving us in silence as I begin to feel myself start to drift off into a different reality until he speaks once more. "Ara, darling, I never meant to hurt you. I was dumb and I'm hoping we can put it behind us. I'm not asking for forgiveness but just knowing you won't be mad at me forever."
I open my eyes despite sleep desperately wanting to overcome me, "How could I stay mad at you?"
His arms wrap even tighter around me as I finally give into my body's protest.
"Stay the night at the house. Just for one night, you're too tired." All I could do is nod as I feel him carry the weight of my body in his to wherever the hell he was taking us. At this point, I rather didn't care as long as I was able to sleep in a bed.
Not once since I had met Pete did I think that I'd be turning back to Ira for help in any sort of way. But now I was doing this for us, for Pete and I, for the lovers. Even if they met some people got hurt along the way.
A/N: haha two weeks later.... anyways.. how have y'all been??? lemme tell you. life's been crazy! gosh.. anyways... new chapter yay hope you enjoyed it!!
don't forget to vote if you're enjoying the story and leave a lil comment, I love reading them ! <3 tpwk