KELSEY
It's been two long days and I still haven't left his bedside.
He's been unconscious ever since we got to a safehouse he had here. The doctor said he lost a lot of blood and if he had gotten medical attention any later, he would've probably died.
The thought of losing Luciano wasn't something I think I could live with. I've been crying a lot, and praying he would wake up soon.
My body has been planted in the chair since the day he was brought in and I only move when I have to take a bath or use the restroom.
I don't even feel like eating. I just can't keep my meal down, knowing that he has risked his life for me. Even after I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore.
Watching as his chest slowly rose and fell, tears slowly rolled down my cheek and my heart clenched.
What if he never wakes up. It'd be all my fault. I don't know if I could ever forgive myself.
His lips were dry and his skin was awfully pale. I held his hand in mine and placed a kiss on his knuckles.
My body stilled when I felt his fingers twitch.
"Luciano." I whispered and he groaned before slowly opening his eyes.
When he saw me he squeezed them shut.
"What's wrong?" I asked sadly, feeling my heart bleed.
Is he that disgusted at the sight of me.
"The light." He grumbled and I raised a brow at him.
"What?"
"Close the curtains." He groaned and I realized what he was talking about.
Rushing to the curtains, I yanked them shut and hurriedly sat at his side again.
He opened his eyes and glanced around the room before his gaze settled on me.
"Hi." Was all I could say as he stared at me. "Do you want water?"
I picked up the glass from the table while he slowly sat up in the bed, wincing in pain from the wound.
I tried holding the glass to his mouth in an effort to assist him but he took it from my hand. Within seconds, he emptied the glass and placed it on the night table.
"Are you hungry?" I asked awkwardly, feeling highly uncomfortable under his gaze. He just shook his head 'no'.
How can he not be hungry. He's been out for two days.
Maybe he just doesn't want anything from me. My presence must be really revolting to him right now.
I can only imagine, waking up and the first person you see is the person who told you they didn't want to be with you anymore. The same person you almost died trying to save.
"How long have I been out?" He asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Two days." I stated plainly and he nodded.
"I'm sorry for what happened." I tried apologizing but he cut me off.
"I've had worst done to me." He assured, giving me a smile that didn't seem to meet his eyes. "Guess it just wasn't my time to die."
My heart clenched at the word die. He was willing to risk his life for me and I wanted to let go of what we had.
It wasn't much, but it was something. And recently, it's been something worth holding on to.
"Luciano, I'm truly sorry for..." I tried apologizing again but he didn't let me finish.
"There's no need for you to apologize. I'm the one who should be apologizing bella and I truly am sorry. I haven't been the best boyfriend to you. The type I know you truly deserve and for that I'm sorry. I feel terrible for the ways I've treated you and for making you think that I don't see you as nothing but a good time. Because believe me amore, you are much more than that." He smiled, taking my hands in his and bringing them to his lips for a kiss.
"You're no ordinary girl Kelsey. You're a queen. You're my queen and you're our future queen. I've been an awful person to you and I probably have zero communication skills. But I want you to know that I'm trying, amore. I was never really taught stuff like that. I've always been told to hide my emotions so it's hard for me to tell you what's really inside my heart, bella." He spoke and I listened carefully.
"My mother was the only person in my life who made me feel like a real person. And when she died, she took that part of me with her. That was many years ago and overtime, I was taught to be an emotionless killer. But then you came into my life. At first, I hated the way I felt. I hated how you made me happy, how you made me smile and how you made me feel ways my mother made me feel when she was alive." I saw tears roll down his cheeks and I began sobbing.
"I was broken, Kelsey. Broken to the point where I felt nothing, I was numb. Until you made me feel again. I'm not the perfect man and I know for a fact that I can't be, but I'll try to be the best man I can for you, bella." He smiled softly as he caressed my cheek.
"But I need you to teach me. Teach me how to be the person you want because I'm honestly trying. I've even started reading books on how to care and stuff like that. But I can't do it alone, amore."
I smiled at the thought of him reading those books. God bless his soul.
"I don't know what to say Luciano." I admitted and he sighed.
"Straddle me." He ordered as he adjusted his body.
"But you're hurt."
"I've had worst Kels." He assured. "So straddle me."
I did as I was told, being extra careful that I didn't hurt him. When I was on his lap, he kissed my cheek and smiled at me.
"I want you Kelsey. I want to be with you." He whispered. "But the decision is yours, whether you want to be with me or not."
I nodded and nuzzled my face into his neck.
"Is that a yes, amore?" He questioned and I felt his heart rate pick up, thumping rapidly against my chest as he awaited my answer.
"Yes." I whispered and he breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank you baby. Thank you so much." He showered my face with kisses and I couldn't help but giggle.
"I promise I won't screw up this time." He smiled before pecking my lips.
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Not me giving quadruple update after y'all are so mean to me 😞😞
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