Sodium. Chapter one.
Summer dwindled softly over the haze of what Autumn once brought. Fires blazed into the midnight air, an aubade towards the dawning of what this Summer was to bring: a peace of sorts, or at least what Sodium hoped to be.
The bus had departed not long ago: a small, red, rusted 1970's Sudan the camp grounds had bought once in its many years of its foundings off an ad on Craigslist. Sodium knew this, it was as apparent as the rust on its metal. Though as soon as the small, red, rusted 1970's Sudan landed upon the grounds, he was almost certain the small, red, rusted 19070's Sudan would be the newest thing the campgrounds owned.
As his foot met the grass, the first time he had touched such nature in years, Sodium was suddenly rushed away from the small, red, rusted, 1970's Sudan towards the communal hall. There, he was seated next to a group of people all wearing the colour Blue. The people who owned the campgrounds supposedly cummed on stage and started the inauguration speech.
"'Ello newcumme's." The old man started, "We 'ere yews loike a bitta cuppa tea! Well, this e'ye campgrinds ain't no cuppa! M' nayme's 'adon. 'Adon sco'. An' this is the loveley mistress 'ersel' - testie." Sodium squirmed in his seat, nervousness for the day a head. "Yews wouldda seen yew've been pu tinta a grewp o' colou's eh? Well, them's ya teammates innit bruv innit." Sodium looked down at his bare abbs ass, his lack of cooloured shirt - hell, his lack of shirt - made him embarrassed. What would everyone think once they found out he didn't have a colour? He looked down to his legs in case his colour was maybe placed unto his trousers instead, but was met with nothing but his own penis.
"Some of yew don' 'ave nay colours. Those of yew loike tha' a' wrongins. The lot of ye. If yew a' seen wi' cock n balls out on show, ye will sleep with the lil' fishies innit bruv innit."
Sodium gasped! This wasn't the nudist camp he thought he signed up to!
He stood up an d everyone gasped upon seeing his bare skinned body. His very saggy balls sagged and jiggled as he stood up they jiggled with intent- intent to jiggle. Just as Sodium's balls jiggled and sagged, so too did the camp people jiggle and sag in depression upon seeing such saggy and jiggly ball balls. Testie spoke up.
"Oh em gee! Hardon! Look! It's very saggy and also jiggly balls!" She yelled
Just then Sodium looked down. His balls sagged and also jiggled with dexterterity. He jumped with so much shock that the momentum of his ballsacks not only slapped him in the face but through the roof and caused considerable damage to the property.
"This e'eye's why we don' accept sooch practecees sooch a' noodesm innit bruv innit."
It seemed the world was agains tSodium and his very saggy and also jiggly balls.
"Your balls are hairy!" someone pointed out reasonably.m
Just then, Suddenly yllucsebrof spoke up.
"Uh, yeah, get jiggy with it. And also that is quite weird! I am a standup man who understands that jiggly balls are normal but not something we should show to a campsite!" Then, a strong musclular manboy the name of E showed up. E pulled down yllucsebrofs trousers and also pants and revealed his EXXX(hamster)tra unshaven jiggly gigantuous ball sacks that had been blown to a crisp one night whilst out on the docks. He had falled onto the campfire and subsequintely his ballsacks had been cirCUMcised.
Going back ot hte present situation, yllucsebrof reacted extremely negatively to this erm, move - what? What? No. er, im thinking *static noise*. Errr, okay okay, no go back tp the - okay okay. Okay so, so, you . . . this isnt working, this isnt making for a very good story. No im going ot summarise it - no i am not going to pause to wait for you to catch up to write something i dont wanna write
Going back to the present situation again, yllucsebrof reacted extremely negatively to this move and coincidentally uppercutted E through a wall and part of the roof. By this point the fines for property damage has exceeded the yearly state budget of Arkansaw. (1.2 U.S.D. dollars of America (Source:
Arkansas ends fiscal year with nearly $1 billion surplushttps://apnews.com › article › arkansas-government-and...)Edit: this will later lead yllucsbrof down a self destructive and inescapable path of lawsuits, fines, unpaid lawyer fees and ultimately poverty and debt, prison being his only safe haven for many years. Now, going back to the situation at hand...
Then E saw Sodiums many hairs on the saggy saggy balls and felt his own too jiggle with exertion. He ran up to Sodium and kissed him then stripped off his own clothes to revela similarly, but not as hairy balls. He bathed, he, unlike yllucsebrof did not have a cheese plant upon his cock.
"Sodium± I admire how much you would like to show the world your pp (as defined in music, pianissimo) I would likee to bare many children with you."
TW // emo :cries:
Sodium broke down crying. He had never met someone who loved hum so much, who had appreciated him for who he was - jigglysaggy hairy balls and all. Bur then he remembered- he couldn't love E - not as much as E loved him anyways. For E had not jiggly hairy saggy balls. His balls had hairs yes, but you could see the skin of the balls unlike Sodium. And unlike sodium - his balls did not sag nor did they jiggle.
|"Cock and balls!" Sodium exclaimed! "Cully likes cock and balls and is also failing music! We will never be together as ur balls do not jiggle nor sag! We need extra gumption! Your balls need to gump!"
Then E cried and also jumped off hte hole that Sodiums balls created. And in the hole that E lay, dead now, Sodium saw it: one singular jiggle.