Eunmi's Point of View
I was really nervous and afraid. I wanted to make myself believe that what I did was right, that kissing D.O was the right thing to do, but I was with Baekhyun and my actions only implied that I was now considered a cheater. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do to Baekhyun, or even to anyone. However, at the same time, I couldn't help but feel that everything was not wrong; that what we did we had done for love.
What I was feeling wasn't important, though, because soon enough all I would care about was what Baekhyun's emotions would be. My mind was filled with the thoughts of him possibly hating me, never talking to me again and completely ignoring me for the rest of his life. I felt awful and guilty for cheating on him, and with his best friend, too. What a horrible person I was.
"Hey," D.O cooed. "Are you ready?"
I looked up at him and then back at the front door of their dorm. The beats of my heart were fast and my breathing became shallow. I felt like fainting or vomiting, it was either of them, but I fought hard not to.
"To be honest, no," I told him, a sigh escaping my lips.
"We don't have to tell him if you're not ready yet."
"I actually don't know what it is we're going to say to him," I told D.O truthfully. "We kissed, yes, but that doesn't mean we're instantly back in a relationship, does it? I mean, I'm still with Baekhyun and kissing you-- I don't know if that was even right. I just cheated on him and I don't know how I'm gonna come out and say that to him."
"You-- You're right," he sighed. "I'm sorry."
We stood there in silence after that and the both of us were oblivious on what action to take next. We knew and realised that our kiss happened in the wrong time, and that confused me even more than I already was. Everything was so jumbled and messed up like a giant thousand puzzle pieces, except the puzzles were scattered everywhere and you had to search for each and every individual piece. It was hard.
The situation I was in definitely wasn't what I had expected, especially with school resuming back next week. I didn't need another problem squeezing its way into my head while I tried and concentrated on school work. It then occurred to me, I had to tell Baek before the week ended, or did I? I always overthought things, which only worsened situations. What if I told him and he would be distracted during their tour? What if he wouldn't deliver his best because of what I had done?
My mind was literally a walking bomb and any one of these days, it would explode.
"But we have to tell him sooner or later, right?" I whispered.
"Yes," he replied.
I took the deepest breath in and looked at him. "Let's go inside and tell Baek."
D.O rang the bell and the door opened, the face of Chanyeol welcoming us. A smile plastered on his face, but it soon transformed into a confused frown as he alternated his gaze between D.O and I. He must have thought how odd it was that we were together. I would have thought the same if I was him, so no surprise about his sudden change of expression.
He stepped aside and let us enter. The dorm seemed to be quite in a hurrying chaos; the members running around here and there while attempting to put on their shoes or jacket. I walked into the living room and found Baekhyun there, smiling as he conversed with Lay, at the same time tying his shoe laces. Lay saw me and so Baekhyun followed his line of sight, his brown orbs finding their way to my own ones. He flashed his famous eye-smile as he stood up and made his way towards me.
"I thought you went back home," Baekhyun said, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.
This was only getting harder to do by the second.
"N-No. I went to eat at that sandwich shop near SM," I answered with a shaky voice.
"Is there something wrong?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed in worry.
I wanted to scream the word "yes" so badly and just beg for forgiveness, but I had to remain composed.
"Can we talk privately in your room?"
"Uh, yeah. Sure, sure," he said, and then led the way.
The further we stepped away from the others, the more nervous I got. My heart pounded heavily against my chest, it almost felt like it would pop out and leave my body. Although, at that moment, that was what I wanted my heart to do; leave because it would be broken soon, anyway.
I could tell D.O was following behind us, but the second we entered into Baekhyun's room, he stopped outside. I closed the door behind me and breathed out slowly, before looking up and facing Baekhyun. Anticipation was written all over his face as he stared at me with those googly eyes of his. I could already feel the tears rising from behind my eyes, so I began speaking before I could cry in front of him.
"Baek, I-- I've done something. Something that I shouldn't have," I spoke.
The giddy expression on his face dropped as his eyebrows, too, furrowed in confusion, much like Chanyeol's had been not too long ago.
"What did you do?" he asked me, almost inaudible.
"It just happened and I didn't know how to tell you because it wasn't even that long ago. I am sorry, though, I really really am because you are a great guy and--"
"Eunmi," he interrupted, "just tell me what you did."
The tears I had wanted to prevent from spilling fell from my eyes as I looked at his face. I knew the words I would be saying next would hurt him to hear more than it leaving my lips. But, I had to say it, I had to tell him.
"D.O and I, w-we kissed," I said, choking on the words.
"Oh" was all that he said. Baekhyun looked at the ground and walked backwards until his legs met the edge of his bed, and he sat down clutching the bed sheets on his sides.
"I'm so sorry, Baekhyun. I would do anything for you to forgive me."
"I know you would," he muttered, forcing a smile on his lips. "But you'd do the same for Kyung, wouldn't you?"
"W-What?" I asked him. Now, I was the one who was baffled.
He stood up and walked over to me, placing his hands on either of my shoulders.
"Are you back together with him?"
"No!" I answered immediately.
"You still love him, though," Baekhyun said.
"I... I don't know," I sighed, looking at the ground.
He lifted my head up by the chin and smiled slightly, before pulling me closer in a hug. I could feel his heavy breathing brush against my skin and I knew that he was trying everything to keep calm. Baekhyun was hurt and I knew that.
"I'm actually surprised we even lasted this long. It was more than what I had expected," he told me.
"I'm really sorry, Baek. I'm sorry," I sobbed through his clothing, clutching at his sleeves.
"Shh, don't cry," he hushed. "I can't do anything if it's really the both of you. I'm just glad I could spend the past weeks close to you."
Baekhyun pulled away and wiped my falling tears with his thumbs, and then cupping my cheeks to pull me nearer, pecking a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and heaved a heavy sigh, before opening them again and heading towards the door. He followed behind me, keeping his distance a little bit. Once I opened the door, D.O was still waiting there and he entered the room as soon as I exited, grabbing Baekhyun's arm and pulling him back inside.
He must have wanted to explain himself and apologise as well. Whatever it was he was going to tell Baekhyun, I hoped it was something more meaningful than mine.
Before D.O could fully close the door, I heard him say the words "there was more to the story".
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My kokoro hurts for Baekhyun. He's too nice and understanding ㅠㅠ
Anyway, Comment how you guys are feeling about Baekkie~ and Vote if you liked reading this :) xx