Tonight, is the night where I will going see Benjamin again for the first time since everything that had happened. Natulog ako pagkauwi ko mula sa party namin kanina then, I went to salon the moment I woke up. We were supposed to have a dinner at seven in the evening at the restaurant of Sam's, pero alas-singko y media pa lang ay nakaligo na ako. Inayos ko 'yung susuotin ko, nagtanong pa ako sa lima kung bagay ba sa akin. Puro pang-aasar lang ang napala ko lalo kay Jayden at Chloe.
Now, it's quarter to seven and Benjamin updated us that he's already in the place. Walang nagrereply na kahit sino rito, tanging ako lang ang nagseen sa group chat namin.
"Where you at?" I texted Jayden.
"Tanga mo, kanina pa kami nandito!"
"Send me a proof!"
He immediately sent a photo of him and Dylan, and Kayden na mga nakamiddle finger pa.
I hurriedly went towards the parking lot. Nagbaon din ako ng pabango para mas magmukha akong presentable. I am wearing a black polo, paired with jeans and a white shoe. I also put other accesories, watch, bracelets, and the ring that I never remove from my fingers, the ring that he gave me.
I am now in the outside of the restaurant. My heart is beating faster. Halos lumabas na ito nang makapasok ako sa pinto. I wore my glasses because I forgot to bring my contacts because of too much excitement and anxiety. Luminga linga ang paningin ko para makita ko sila.
Then, I saw Benjamin by himself, looking back at me. Tang ina, sobrang gwapo!
As I walk my way towards him, I can't help, but to think if I still affect him just like before? The surrounding is warm, from the yellow lights to the jazz music that's playing on the stage. Everything around me became blurry. I don't care if I bumped into someone, I don't care if I look stupid. All want is to do is to be with him, to be near him, to be in his world once again. I don't know how I got this energy to walk into him because I almost fell a lot of times. Fuck, only you can make me feel like this, Benjamin. Only you.
I smiled at him, but he did not respond. He just looked away, separating from the eye contact that we had the moment I went inside.
Tang ina.
Humatak ako ng upuan sa harapan niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa kaniya. A lot of things had changed into him, from his haircut na kung dati ay medyo mahaba ngayon ay malinis ang gupit. He also looks more mature than before. His skin got a little darker and that really suits him well.
My Benjamin really did change, sana ay hindi kasama rito ang pagmamahal niya sa'kin.
"How are you, Benj?" I almost stutter there. I don't know what to do and say. I just want to cling into him all day without worrying about the next day.
He did not respond. He just cursed.
Napansin kong nagtipa siya ng mensahe at tumunog ang aking telepono.
"What a way to start here, guys. If you will not come in one minute, I'll leave."
That made a pinch in my heart. He really doesn't want to be with anymore huh? I won't force you, Benjamin. If being with me makes you uncomfortable, I am willing to leave.
"I'm sorry, Benj. I really don't know about what they are doing." I said to him out of nowhere because maybe this is what he wants to hear.
"I don't care about you. Just get the fuck out of my face or I will. You choose." Hindi tulad kanina na blanko, iba ang pinakita ng mata niya sa'kin, puno ito ng galit.
That hurts. Kulang pa ba ang mahigit dalawang taon natin na hindi pagkikita? I'll give it to you, Benjamin. Just let me have my chance to prove myself to you once again.
Nararamdaman niyang hindi ako tumatayo sa inuupuan ko kaya siya na ang gumawa nito.
He stood up, without looking at me. Wala akong magawa. I want to stop him. I want to hold his hand and plead, but I can't. His anger went into my heart which made me froze in my seat and did not do anything.
Mula sa pagkakayuko, tumungo ako nang makita kong may umupo sa tabi ko.
"We are here, Lucas. We're sorry." Bungad ni Chloe nang makaupo na siya sa aking kanan.
Umingay na ang kaninang tahimik na paligid. Nagbabatian sila base sa pagkakarinig ko at isa-isa na silang umupo sa lamesa. Napansin ko na si Kayden ang kaharap ko, habang nasa kaliwa niya si Bemjamin saka ang katabi nito ay si Sam. Si Jayden naman ang nasa upuan na pang tatay at katabi ni Chloe mula sa kanan si Dyan.
"Sorry, bro. Nasiraan si Dylan kaya nahuli kami." Si Kayden
"It's all right. I thought you're all gonna leave me hanging with someone." Benjamin responded
That comment made them silent. You did not expect that huh? Anong akala niyong lahat? Sasalubungin niya ako ng yakap at halik pagkatapos ng mga nangyari? Iyon ang gusto ko kung tutuusin kaya lang ay ang tanga ko para umasa ro'n.
"Order na tayo, nagugutom na ako." Pambabasag ni Dylan sa katahimikan.
"Order everything you want, my treat!" Benjamin said.
"Mamumulubi ka sa'min! Hindi ka nagpakita ng matagal kaya humanda ka ngayon!" Sabi Jayden, na nagpatawa sa kanilang lahat.
"What do you want, bro?" Tanong sa akin ni Kayden.
"He's not included. Kayo lang naman ang kaibigan ko."
Napatingin ako sa kaniya dahil sa sinabi niya. Kanina pa ako napapahiya at alam niyang ayaw kong nararamdaman ito. Well, it's you that I am talking about here, Benjamin. Kaya ko iyon, kaya kong tiisin 'yon.
Nakita kong binatukan siya ni Sam. "Parang kang tanga!"
"What? Totoo naman iyon."
"Kung ganiyan ka buong gabi, umuwi nalang tayo." Dylan said.
"No, it's okay. I'll just order in separate, don't worry." I told them not wanting to ruin the supposed to be perfect night.
Then an awkward silence eaten us all. Maybe I shouldn't have went here in the first place.
"I'll pay everything, even his. 'Wag niya lang masira 'yung gabi natin."
Then, Jayden and Chloe stood up. "Kung alam mo lang...." sabay pa nila na binaggit.
"Chloe, Jayden. Please." I looked at them with a pleading eye. Pinipigilan kung ano 'yung dapat ay hindi nila sasabihin na dalawa.
"What? Kung alam ko lang ang?" Isa isa siyang tumingin sa kanilang lahat.
"Wala 'yon bro, puyat 'yang dalawa. Hayaan na natin." Pagsagot ni Kayden.
We are all now eating. The mood became light as the tension earlier disappeared. Nagsorry naman siya sa'ming lahat kaya naman umokay na rin ang dalawa. Nakikinig lang ako sa kanila habang silang lahat ay nagkukwentuhan. Magsasalita lang ako kung idadamay ako ng lima sa usapan tungkol sa kaniya o sa iba, na kung tutuusin ay madalas na mangyari.
Nang matapos ang hapunan namin ay nagpahinga lang kami sandali at sabay sabay na tumungo sa parking lot ng restaurant.
"Benj, kasama ka na sa groomsmen ha. Hahanap kami ng makakapareho mo. Sasamahan ka ni Lucas magpasukat bukas."
"No, I can do it myself or maybe Kayden will accompany me."
"Bawal ako bukas, bro. Si Lucas lang talaga ang pupwede. Sabado kasi ang day-off niya."
"Then, let's do it on Sunday."
"Sarado na 'yon hanggang sa bago kami ikasal. Huling araw na bukas." Si Sam
"Huwag niyo akong gawing tanga." Saka siya umirap. "Just send me the address, anyone?"
"Si Lucas lang ang nakakaalam non e." Si Chloe
"Baka gusto niya ay si Lucas ang gumawa sa kaniya tutal sukat na sukat na niya 'yan." Si Jayden. All of them are laughing except for the two of us. Nakatingin lang ako sa reaksiyon niya na diring diring.
"Alam niyo, tang ina niyo. Bahala kayo, hindi ako sasama sa kasal ninyong dalawa." Pagbabanta niya na akala mo naman ay kayang gawin. I know you too well, Benjamin pero uto-uto ang lima kaya lahat sila ay nagpresinta na.
Nakauwi na ako at nagmemessage siya agad sa group chat, nagpapasalamat at nagtanong muli kung sino ang puwedeng sumama sa kaniya bukas. Walang nagrereply hanggang sa umabot na nang alas-tres ng madaling araw kaya agad akong nagtipa ng pribadong mensahe sa kaniya. Sana lang ay gising pa siya.
"Hey, Benj?" And he immediately saw my chat. Looking back to our old conversation, I can't help but to notice that the last text he sent was "I love you too, Lucas." Napabuntong hininga ako dahil dito.
"I can just show you the place, then I'll leave after."
Fuck, he's typing!
"K."
Agad kong binato ang cellphone ko sa kaba at nagtatalon sa kama. Kahit saglit ay magkakaroon akong oras para makasama siya. Papayag kaya ito kung tatanungin ko kung pati sa habang buhay?
It's the next day. I am now waiting for Benjamin to pick me up. Dumaan lang ako sa coffee shop sa baba ng condo para bilhin 'yung paborito niyang iniinom.
"Hi!" I said to him the moment I enter his car then I gave his coffee.
"What's this for?"
"Nothing, baka lang namiss mo."
"I have been into hundreds of coffee shop before and I just realized na masyadong cheap 'yang binili mo." Then he he drove. I just shrug it off and then drink the coffee. Baka ang akin ang gusto niyang nilulunok, sayang at hindi ako natanong.
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Told you, It'll be sooner haha. Thank you for the support! I'm glad that we are getting known sa ibang mga tags. Ang iba ay ang taas pa ng rank. Anyway, last ten chapters then the epilogue. Stay safe, everyone!