ꜰɪꜰᴛᴇᴇɴ | "Kɪss Mᴇ Tʜʀᴜ ᴛʜᴇ Pʜᴏɴᴇ"
Two Days Later...
-Namjoon-
Y/n has been acting weird ever since I kissed her the other day. She's been kind of distant doing that strange thing she does where she gets really quiet and seems irritated, but it's hard to tell. Her irritated facial expression is the same as her gloomy face. I like to think I can read her pretty well, but that's the one part I cannot. Our friends have come and gone to see her, as well as her brother. Did she seem to be sort of ignoring me, or was I imagining that? I don't know that, but what I do know is that my feelings are kind of hurt. Was I too obvious about my feelings when I kissed her? I didn't think I was, I know I was flirting a bit, but I didn't think it was that bad. I assumed that she'd just think it was a heat-of-the-moment type of thing, and not read too much into it. I guess her behavior now was proof that I was too forward about the whole situation.
"So are you going to be like, totally awkward around me now?" She'd asked.
"Oh yeah! Of course." I joked.
"Kim Namjoon, you better not be serious!"
I'd put my hands up in surrender. "Don't worry, of course I'm kidding. This won't change anything. Nothing can come between us."
And yet, she's letting it come between us. She became awkward and nervous around me, even though we agreed we wouldn't be, and to be honest, that frustrated me. I just couldn't believe Y/n was willing to let something as silly (not to me, of course) as a little kiss come in between us. For me, it was the start of the many kisses to come. This awkwardness had only happened one other time, similar to the last time she thought I liked her, (I know what you're thinking, there was a last time?!) and she did the same thing. She became awkward and nervous around me as a result. That's only happened one other time, and I was SO not living for it. I was also not proud to admit that I was way past a slight bit drunk. Maybe that's why I was so bothered by this whole situation with Y/n. It was bothering me more because I wasn't in my right state of mind.
But if I was going to get her to stop being weird around me, I had to do something about it. And believe me, I would. I let out a massive sigh and I took another swig of the Soju as well as a bite of the fried chicken from the takeout container in front of me. It was a perfect way to end a shift after a long and frustrating day in which I could de-stress with Y/n. What would be even more perfect was if Y/n was here with me and then maybe my days wouldn't be so frustrating.
"I can be here if you want me to be." A sweet voice calls, and I look up to see Y/n standing in front of me. When did she leave her hospital room; the hospital at all?
"Y/n? What're you doing here?" I ask confusedly.
"Hi, Joonie. Did you miss me? I missed you so much, my sweetheart."
"Y/n? What are you doing out of your bed?" I ask again. "How did you get here? You really should be resting..."
"Well, to see you of course, you silly koala. Why else would I have left the bed? I missed you. I was enjoying spending time with you. I know I told you to go home, but I just missed you so much. Your heartbeat is so soothing."
I blushed at her comment as I smiled contentedly. "You left the hospital and came all this way, just to see me?" I question. "I thought you were just mad and annoyed with me."
"Aw, why would I be mad or annoyed with you? I loved kissing you."
"R-Really?"
"Of course. I loved kissing you." She repeats, "It was perfect. I really missed you, honest."
"Well, I missed you too, sweetie, and I'm glad you liked kissing me," I smirk. "Very happy. But how...why are you really here? I'm really worried that if you left...something could happen." What the fuck is going on?
"You're a silly koala. I'll let you in on a little secret; I never left."
"What?"
As happy as I was to see her, something was unnerving about the way her head was cocked to the side while she grinned at me. She looked ethereal as usual but in a creepier, doll-like way. Face frozen in a permanent smile.
"Are you even real?" I asked.
"I'm as real as you want me to be." She answered, then giggled. "Did you get any rest, or take some time off from your shift? I want my Joonie to get better too just like me!"
"I did. I had some Soju and a late-night snack," I reply. "Fried chicken; my favorite thing to eat after a long shift. I'm tired, but I'm feeling much better now that you're here."
She giggles again, but this time, her laughter doesn't sound like tinkling bells; the way it normally does. It sounds like, metal-on-metal. Pitched off-key. "You're not supposed to stay up so late, you silly koala. You're my silly Joonie! You should have gotten some sleep instead of talking to me."
Y/n never spoke to me this way, so now I am suspicious of the person in front of me. "Come to me, my sweet," I command instead, just to see what happens.
As if on cue, she walked into my embrace, our faces only inches apart. I think as soon as she came, following my order, that a part of me knew she was a figment of my imagination because I was so exhausted and mentally angry. Then it hit me. My damn fucked up relationship with Y/n! It felt like we were so out of sync with each other and screwed up that all of this right now was just to make up for the two years we spent apart, and not meant to actually improve things. I was fixing what was ultimately a right now and not a forever. That's why my brain was making me see things. But whether I knew if it was real or not, because of that expired shit or not, I wanted to do a few things to my little fantasm. Just once before she disappeared again, I wanted to taste her plump, cherry-red lips again. I admit, that even when she isn't aware I'm around, I've kissed her.
She leaned in on command, as I placed my lips on hers, and we began to kiss passionately. Our lips moved in perfect sync, and I'm reminded once again how her lips were perfectly sculpted to fit mine. I sighed in pleasure; the rush I got when I kissed her was so utterly blissful that I could get high off it. Almost as high or drunk as I was off of the Soju I'd ordered. Next time, I'll pay better attention to my It's there for a reason; simple common sense. But unfortunately, something that seems too good to be true usually is, because when I pulled back to catch my breath, but ready to kiss her again, my skewed perception of this little "fantasy" was ruined when 'she' started to speak again.
"That was amazing, Namjoon. I do enjoy kissing you, you know. But we can't do it all the time." She giggles, and again the giggle doesn't sound like the real Y/n's laugh.
"Why not?" I demand.
"Because, silly. I'm possibly only a figment of your drunken imagination. Besides, you'll never get the real Y/n to kiss you," she taunts.
"Why can't I get the real Y/n to kiss me?" I asked, utterly annoyed. "I'm pretty sure you are real."
She emitted that same off-key-sounding laughter once again, "If you say so because you can call me Y/n, you can call me love. You can call me baby, and all of the above. You can call me late at night, and I'll be at your door. You can call me anything, anything you want. Just don't call me yours."
I frowned as the smiling 'Y/n' straddled me, and started to run her hands through my hair. I moan as I say, "But you are mine." I pointed out dejectedly.
She placed her finger against my lips. "No, I'm not." She still continued to give me that creepy doll-like grin. It looked painted onto her face. "Like I said, you can call me baby, or love, or anything you want. But don't call me yours. If you really want me Namjoon, then you have to earn me. You can't just show back up in my life after two years and expect that we will be together."
"But—"
She simply smirked as I reached out to grab her; to question what that meant before she faded away into nothing. I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. Shit. I was dreaming. Or was I hallucinating? Or drunk, or maybe a mix of both? I wasn't sure. One thing I did know, I was mentally and physically exhausted. That much was obvious. I guess that everything I had done was bad. Like, really bad enough that it caused me to see all of this. I tried closing my eyes and opening them again to see if she'd come back, but no luck. She reminded me of a cherry blossom that was about to bloom; she looks so pretty, but yet she's gone so soon.
I groaned in utter frustration as I realized I was right the first time around; it wasn't real. Just another mere fantasy of my lover. But I should have known it wasn't real straight from the start. The only way I would have known? Y/n never calls me her sweetheart. Though I wished she would, she didn't. At least not yet, anyway. The fine line between what's real and what I make up to make life more interesting just seems to keep on mixing. I can't seem to unblur the lines between fantasy and reality anymore. Oh well, I still understood what she said to me in the dream. If I want her, then I have to earn her. Believe me, I will. If my fantasies continue to mix with reality, then I'll make sure my fantasies become our reality. For myself, and for Y/n. And in order to do that, I had to do something, right now.
❤️🩹
The FaceTime call rings, three specific pings before Y/n answers. "Hello?"
"Y/n, my love." I slur. "I have something to tell you."
She raises her eyebrows. "Yes? What is it? Namjoon, are you aware it's two in the morning? Did you listen to me and get some rest?" She prattles off.
"Oh, I did." I lie, as I'd barely gotten any at all. "But now that I did, I wanted to call you. I have something very important to tell you." I slur again.
"Okay, what's up?"
"Baby, you know that I miss you."
"Uh, yeah, I guess," she says confusedly, "I miss you too."
"I wanna get with you tonight. But I cannot, baby girl, and that's the issue for me."
"'Baby girl'?" She questions. "Dude, are you okay? Are you messing with me?"
"No, I'm not, I swear," I reply. "Y/n, you know I miss you, and I just wanna kiss you," I whine. "I wanna kiss you again, but I can't right now. So, baby, please kiss me through the phone."
"Seriously, are you okay? You usually don't say this kind of stuff to me." Y/n raises an eyebrow, and even in my current state, I can tell that she's weirded out. "Uh, did something happen? Why are you acting so strange?"
"I'm fine, my love." I slur again. "I really want you to kiss me again. Will you please kiss me through the phone?"
"You're being so weird." She comments. "Is this a joke? Are you pranking me? I'm actually very confused. Look, I'm really tired, and I need my sleep more than ever right now. So unless you have something actually important to tell me," she snaps, cracking my heart just a little, "please let me go back to sleep. I can tell something is up, and you need your sleep just as much as I do. Please, Namjoon."
"No!" I say frustratedly, "I want you to kiss me! You're my future wife, you have to text me, kiss me, call me! I need you, and I need you in my life. I've been thinking so much about you lately, and how much I want you to kiss me in public because you're so sexy. I'm sorry for what happened between us, but I need you to know what you mean to me."
A weird look starts spreading across her face, one even I haven't seen, and it seems to be a mix of disgust, confusion, and weirded-outness all in one facial expression. "Holy what the fuck, Namjoon." She comments. "Dude, are you sure you're feeling okay? I'm...not your wife."
I wiggle my eyebrows. "But you could be."
Then, I see her crane her neck in the background, and her eyes land on the empty Soju bottle next to me. She sighs. "Namjoon, tell me the truth; have you been drinking?"
"Maybe."
"Okay. That explains why you're being all weird."
"I'm not being weird!" I say offendedly, "I'm asking you a simple question. Will you kiss me again and be my wife?"
She sighs irritatedly. "If I do, will you shut up about it and stop calling me your wife? I'm pretty sure best friends don't act like this." She chuckles a bit uncomfortably. "I think next time you probably shouldn't drink so much."
"Oh yes! I can't wait for you to kiss me through the phone, kiss me through the phone, kiss me through the phone!!" I sing out terribly, and I suddenly think she's caught on to what I'm saying. "You can call me at six-seven-eight, triple nine, eight-two-one-two, and I'll see you at HoMeeeee!!!" I sing out drunkenly.
"Were you singing to me that song, 'Kiss Me Thru the Phone'?" She asks. "The Soulja Boy one? Drunken lyric prank or something?"
"No! I said I miss you my wife, and I really want to kiss you. But I can't, so you'll have to do it from the phone!"
She sighs again. "Okay, then yeah. I'll kiss you if you'll stop being weird."
"Oh, thank you! Now, would you like to tell me why you're awake at this time? You should be resting."
"Even drunk, and you still find a way to worry about what I'm doing." She shakes her head. "Oh Joonie, what am I going to do with you? Yes, we both really need the rest right now, but so do you. And you have the nerve to ask me what I'm doing awake at this hour. I was asleep before you decided to call and wake me up. I thought it was actually something important so I answered."
"Oh, it is indeed important! Marry me, my wife!" I propose. "You can be my Bonnie, and I'll be your Clyde! My future wife! We were meant to be together."
"Namjoon, you're drunk." She says again. "Stop. You're only saying this weird shit because you're drunk. You don't mean any of it."
"Am not!" I protest. "I'm speaking from my heart! Marry me!" I demand.
"Yes." She answers sarcastically, "Your very drunken heart. I highly doubt you mean it."
"Wifey~" I sing out again, "I want my kiss now! I do mean it!"
"Yikes, if I'd have known you were this cringe when drunken, I'd never have picked up the phone."
"Kiss me through the phone!" I beg again. "I'm waiting..."
She sighs and leans her face in near the camera, and blows me a kiss through the screen. "For now, I'll kiss you through the phone." She teases. "Happy?"
"Yes! Absolutely! I love you, my wife!"
"Love you too, my drunken koala. I know who I'm never letting near alcohol again..." She comments, pursing her lips. "Just please stop calling me your wife, okay?"
I ignore her request and answer, "I'll see you tomorrow, my love!" I say excitedly, before hanging up the phone call, accidentally cutting off whatever Y/n had said.
If only Namjoon knew his later actions would drive a rift in his and Y/n's 'relationship,' maybe he'd have been more cautious with some of the things he's done and was going to do. Because these two; have quite a lot to work out before they'll get their happily ever after. Happily ever after? More like happily never after...
To be continued...