The sky was bare. The stars, stripped off by the earth's rotation and clouds, cleared off to another destination. And Han wondered if he was like the sky before him. Majestic at times, with a few meteors worthy of its audience. But at moments, quiet and dull.
The usual trio had stayed up to work on music. Yet, in the two hours, Han was with them, nothing came to his mind. There were no stellar adlibs or striking prompts, and a prominent absence of lyrics. And he was getting frustrated at his lack of contribution, tearing himself into shame. Words twisting in silence, trying to grapevine their hold to his roots of talent. It was self-destructive in a sense. Thus, the two older boys sent him to bed. "No need to destruct your brilliance when it needs rest," they reminded Han. A constant reminder by one of Stray Kids' workaholics, Leon. The boyfriend he needed right now. To hear his words whisper in his ear, with a tired voice yet still delicate to Han's ears. A lullaby for him only.
But could he ask for a lullaby in three in the morning? Ask for a sweet voice to break through his poisonous ivy but at the expense of breaking the serenity in a house? They didn't live in the same place anymore, most of their members had been separated. Boyfriends apart in three separate apartments, with a bit of distance between one and the other two. The world might think it was a prize, to have their own rooms and space. Yes, Han would have to agree it has its merits. A closed-door when his blush framed his own face. Or a room to lock when his heart was racing against theirs for intimacy.
But they were apart still. His house had late-night workers, who barely had time to sleep in each other's arms at reasonable hours of the night. The other four he could always rely on a lie-in with are a few places down. And the last, another workaholic was in the next apartment, living alone. A boy he desperately wanted to share their apartment with, even willing to offer his own room for. But they had no time to fight against it, too busy. Plus, his resistance might ignite questions from people who knew nothing about their relationship. A secret for them to keep forever in their career.
And right now he didn't want to fight against or for anything. All Han wanted was to be in Leon's arms. "I want Leon," a careless whisper outside his door. No one heard him as music pounded the walls of the rest. But maybe the universe was listening when people weren't. "Hi, Hannie babie." His eyes might not gaze at the sky but reflects the love, fates could only wish to repeat. Hands that are too small to hold stars, yet enough to warm his freezing disposition. "Hyung."
His feet didn't pad in blinding speed but careful steps. His weight tested the floors and treated them like clouds. Because he feared this was all a dream. His boyfriend being so ethereal didn't help him take apart what is real from hallucinations. But maybe the true didn't want to be associated with fantasy, because hands pulled at his waist. Warmth enveloped at each little space, and Han isn't complaining about it. "You were taking too long." Leon's voice isn't as even as usual. Some edges against his tone, deepening in a few words to each phrase he says. This was true and perfect. Imperfections are freely exposed to their closed doors.
Han didn't speak any more words. Allowing his lips to be gently caressed by the older's hands. Brushing it so gently and barely with force, as if he also saw Han's lips as clouds. A gentle blow would pull it away. But the younger boy wouldn't do that. If given the chance, he'd press it closer and ask for the other's lips in return. Yet, Leon's fingers already gently swept past to his cheeks. "You have dark circles, baby." Many might want blue eyes against their own hues. Maybe they haven't stared at Leon long enough then, to realize that chocolate brown eyes swirled into constellations for you were more romantic. But he wasn't to complain because he had enough people to be jealous over. "You should sleep more."
In the haze of tender intimacy, he couldn't keep the candor to himself. "I haven't been sleeping well since we moved." And he worried if honesty would break the hold between them. What if his soulmate didn't understand the reason beneath his statement. What if he were to interpret it differently as if the change was the core reason that hindered him from rest. Not the lack of their presence. "Call me." But how foolish he was to even have the thought cross his mind because, at the end of the day, soulmates just knew. Maybe not all soulmates but they do.
"Hyung?"
No movement for distance was made. But instead, the older boy kept him closer. His lips brushed against his cheek. The words trapped against the pillow and his ear. "I'll stay over when you want me to." The hands did not pinch his waist but gently drew circles to them. Keeping him at the moment yet lulling him to sleep. "Let that be every night if you want." And maybe Han will allow himself to indulge in the presence of Leon every night. Grant himself rests in his hold and begs him to move sooner than the world wanted him to ask. Who cares? If his boyfriend was okay with it, then let him ask for it.
"Stay with me forever, please, hyung."
"I'll always be in your orbit, Hannie."
A/N: I'm back! - Aid