"Y/N!" Lily looked shocked, yet somehow slightly impressed.
"I didn't mean to! But I know he's gonna go back to his dorm and look it up, what do I do?" I asked, I was starting to panic
"I don't know Y/N, how did flower language even come up? You were supposed to be talking about magizoology!"
"Xenophilius doesn't need help with his classes, Sev was right, he was failing on purpose. We've been using studying as a guise, it's really these cute little dates where we just spend time together and talk."
"That's adorable but it doesn't tell me how the flowers came into the conversation."
"I'd been trying to help someone make the perfect date for their crush and I suggested bringing flowers. I told them what the flowers meant and when we got to the courtyard Xenophilius was curious as to what we'd been talking about. The other person had already left, I didn't expect him to ask what flower I'd give him!"
"Who were you helping?" By the look on her face, she already knew.
"That's not important, what do I do?!?!"
"I don't know Y/N, maybe just explain to him that you answered without thinking?"
"That's literally me saying 'I love you' followed by 'Never mind, I didn't mean to say that'. If he feels the same way, he'd be heartbroken!"
"Then I don't know"
I had to think of something but the question was, what could I say to fix this? If he felt the same way it wasn't an issue, but if he didn't.... It could ruin our relationship!
I spent the next few days intentionally avoiding him, I even stood in the other side of the field or hid behind a bunch of other student during our Care for Magical Creatures class. I'd also started running towards the castle as soon as our one shared class was over.
On the 4th repetitive day of this he showed up later than normal, and while he wasn't late for class, it gave him the opportunity to find me and deliberately stand behind me. As soon as Kettleburn started talking Xenophilius wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me backwards until the back of my head landed on his shoulder before moving his arms to wrap around my waist and burying his head in between my neck and shoulder.
I loved the affection but my heart was pounding out of my chest! I knew what he wanted to talk about and I was nervous.
"Why are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?" He asked
I could tell he was hurt by the sound of his voice, he'd been over thinking this for the last 4 days.
"No, you didn't do anything wrong" I answered
I felt him smile into my shoulder.
"This is about the flowers isn't it?"
I felt my face get hot, I still didn't know what to say about the fact I'd subtly told him I loved him.
"It is"
He kept his left arm wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him so that my back now touched his chest, as he reached down into his bag with his right hand and pulled something out before holding it in front of me.
Any anxiety I'd felt before floated away the moment I saw the red chrysanthemum in his hand.
"Can you stop avoiding me now? I don't know why you were so nervous, you had no reason to be." He whispered, handing me the flower.
"Xenophilius, I literally told you I love you"
I was trying my hardest to pay attention to what the Professor was saying but Xenophilius was making it incredibly difficult.
"I understand that but you never gave me a chance to respond."
I couldn't really argue with that, I hadn't even wanted him to look up what it meant until after he'd gone back to his common room, I hadn't even given him a minute chance to respond to what I'd said.
"Pay attention to the Professor" I was trying my best to chastise him for distracting me but it wasn't working, he just started silently laughing into my shoulder which made it hard for me not to smile.
"I already know all of this, the only reason I took this subject was because I wanted a reason to talk to you. I've read 'Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them', I've also read the 'Monster Book of Monsters', I think I know everything that could possibly be on the end of year exam."
"I'm not talking about this right now"
"And why would that be?"
"I don't want either of us to get in trouble, we can talk about this during lunch."
"Can I still hold you? I've missed you, your tactics to avoid this conversation weren't exactly fair to me."
"I know they weren't, I'm sorry love" I turned my head to the side, running my fingers through his hair, and kissed his temple before continuing "To answer your question, yes you can continue holding me."
He smiled, kissing my shoulder before deciding to actually pay attention to Professor Kettleburn, keeping his arms wrapped around my waist for the rest of class. After class we started walking back towards the castle, that days lesson had been outside near the grounds keeper's hut.
We were walking back slower than everyone else, they were all clearly hungry and wanted to eat, by the time Xenophilius and I got up towards the castle everything looked deserted.
When we got up to the beginning of the covered bridge near the stone circle he pulled me to the side of the stone entrance, pushing me up against the stone wall by my hips and kissed me deeply. While I was taken by surprise at first, I quickly entangled my hands in his hair deepening the kiss even more, and after a few minutes he lifted me up, wrapping my legs around his waist before pushing me back up against the wall, never breaking the kiss.
I pulled away and looked at him, completely shocked.
"Xenophilius, we're gonna get caught!" I whispered
While I wanted him more than anything in that moment, and the idea of getting caught was slightly exhilarating, I didn't want us to get in trouble.
"Not if you stay quiet" he replied, smirking before kissing me again, lifting up my skirt, and putting his hands on either side of my ass to hold me up.
When I started rolling my hips, grinding myself against his growing erection, he secured his left arm around my waist to hold me up while using his other hand to push my panties to the side and start rubbing small circles on my clit. I'd known I was starting to soak through my panties but he apparently hadn't noticed until now, as he let out a low deep growl when his fingers reached my heat.
I reached down in between us, quickly undoing his pants and freeing him before wrapping my hand around him and beginning to move my hand up and down his shaft. His fingers had gone from rubbing small slow circles on me to being inside me in the time it had taken me to free him from his pants, and I could feel a slow buildup to something, though I couldn't quite figure out what it was.
I'd never been with anyone before, all of this was new to me, I knew what to do for the most part, but that was solely due to listening to Sirius brag about his multiple 'conquests' in the common room. When I let go of him, pushing his hand away at the same time, he got visibly frustrated.
"I don't want your hand Xenophilius, I want you. Please." I begged
He looked at me, nodding, before pulling my hips down and lining himself up with my entrance before slowly entering me. I buried my head in his neck and let out a soft moan that was louder than I'd intended it to be. He felt amazing, perfect even.
"Shhhhh love, I know it feels good but you have to be quiet." He whispered, kissing my neck
He wasn't wrong, it felt amazing, which confused me, Lily had said her first time had hurt even though Severus had been gentle with her, this definitely DIDN'T hurt!
We slowly started moving our hips in sync with each other, letting me adjust to him, before picking up our pace, and it didn't take long for that same feeling from before to come rushing back, slowly building up to something more. I was trying to hold back whatever this feeling was, waiting for him, but it was getting increasingly harder the longer we continued.
He'd started getting more erratic in his movements, sometimes going faster than I was and other times not moving in time with me. When he put his hand in between us and started rubbing small circles on my clit again, holding back whatever had been building up inside me at this point became almost impossible.
"Come on baby, cum for me" he whispered in my ear
As soon as the words left his lips I knew what it was that had been building up inside me the entire time.... I'd been holding my orgasm at bay, waiting for him to be close enough for us to finish together.
I let go, putting my fist in my mouth to muffle the moans, letting my orgasm take over every sense of my body. My vision went black, I couldn't hear anything aside from myself and him climaxing, it felt like my entire body was a gigantic wave of pleasure.
When my senses came back to me Xenophilius leaned down and kissed me softly before resting his forehead on mine. After we composed ourselves and fixed our clothes.... and my hair, we kissed each other one last time and said our goodbyes for the time being.
I somehow managed to stumble my way back to the Gryffindor common room and up to my dorm where Lily was laying on her bed.
"Lily, we need to have a serious conversation" I stated, slowly laying down on my bed.
My entire body still felt electric, I was trying to be as careful with myself as I could be
"About what exactly? You look like you're about to pass out." She replied
"You said it would hurt!"
"I said what would hurt?"
"You said IT would hurt!"
After I repeated myself, putting an emphasis on the word 'it', her eyes went wide, she now knew what I was talking about.
"I did, it hurt for me, it's not the same for everyone. Why are you bringing this up?" By the look on her face she knew why, she just wanted to confirm her theory.
"It felt like this huge wave of pleasure, like nothing else in the world mattered but the two of us. It was perfect!"
"And you can walk?"
"Huh?.... No, it was more like something between a wobble and that little waddle penguins do."
She was trying not to burst out laughing, I probably looked like I was high in all honesty, not that I gave a damn, I was in heaven!
"Y/N, do I dare ask where this encounter happened?"
"Near the covered bridge, on the side of that big entrance by the stone circle? There." I was finally starting to come back down to earth.
"Y/N!"
"LILY! Shhhh! We don't need the whole house knowing!"
Her yelling my name had snapped me back to earth immediately, my legs now hurt more than I'd previously realized and it definitely felt different down between my legs even though it wasn't exactly painful.
"Who's gonna know what?" James and Sirius both poked their heads into our dorm after opening the door.
"No one's gonna know anything!" I answered, glaring daggers at them
Lily couldn't contain her laughter anymore, she started laughing so hard she was crying, she found it hilarious that I was embarrassed over the possibility of them hearing our entire conversation.
"Yeah Y/N, OK!" Lily yelled in between gasps of air
"Alright then, what happened Evans?" Sirius asked, looking between us suspiciously
"I'm pretty sure Y/N...." I interrupted her by throwing a pillow directly at her face.
"NOTHING HAPPENED! Now get out! This is a girls dorm! No dogs allowed!"
"Don't you mean no boys allowed?" James asked
When I looked at Sirius, James started laughing almost as hard as Lily.
"Got it, come on Pads you heard her, no dogs."
"Mhm, now be a deer and shoo!"
Lily didn't seem to get my puns at the time but James and Sirius rolled their eyes.
When I got up to close the door James was already walking down the stairs but Sirius was standing on the other side of the hallway looking at me, he wanted to know what had happened, he knew I was lying, he just couldn't tell what it was about. I got up and walked over to close the door, to which Lily snickered and nodded.
"That walk seems about right, never mind, that's all the confirmation I needed." She said, smirking at me
Sirius ran down the stairs yelling
"Prongs! I'm pretty sure your sister just got railed into next week!"
Lily burst out laughing again, while I just rolled my eyes and slammed the door closed. The next thing I heard was almost immediately after Sirius finished his sentence.
"SHE WHAT?!?!?"