I walked through the house each step causing me to relax further. It was when I stepped into my room that I realized the reason behind this. I should have been concerned, angry even but I wasn't. I couldn't be, I understood her retreat, her distance. Leah was right, I would rather forgive her for being cautious rather than be miserable forever.
Perhaps I was too exhausted to worry about anything, exhausted both mentally and physically.
I watched the blonde from the doorway, she knew I was there, but her eyes were caught on something lying on the bed. The same thing Alice had been messing with, a beautiful canvas of golden eyes.
Her head turned slightly to look at me, if she had been human, I would have said she had been crying. Her eyes met mine and like before it was like the flashlight in the dark, but I didn't hold hope that she would stay, in fact I expected her to run away the moment I looked at her.
"you were hurt" it wasn't a question but a statement. I wanted to reply with a snarky comment. She hadn't cared in the last month when she ignored me. But I couldn't.
"I've had worse." It was true, the werewolf was worse. But her leaving hurt more too.
She crossed the room quickly, her face betraying her voice, she was scared. Her hand paused just above the pink lines on my arm from the fight with Victoria. I moved forward gently allowing her fingers to graze the marks that would soon be gone.
It was electrifying, like my body was alight, like small sparks going through my nervous system bringing a feeling I had never felt before. It was so intimate, yet completely innocent. I let out a sigh as her fingers continued to trail the lines.
Then her eyes met mine and she didn't run.
"I hurt you" she whispered.
"what changed?" I asked. What had made her runaway before but not now.
"so many things. Edward was the one to finally get me to see. I was afraid. I didn't want to bring you into my world. I told Edward it was too dangerous for the human, and I would rather be miserable than bring you into this, this world of forever ageless, frozen." Her face turned downcast, and it broke my heart more.
"You didn't bring me into this. I was always destined for this"
"you got hurt because of my family." Her fingers trailed over the bite mark on my hand.
"but you saved me" I sighed again as her fingers danced along my skin "Rosalie, I'm part of the supernatural, it wasn't your fault. This is my life and I really hoped you'd be there" I mumbled.
Rosalie looked up at me "Alice always said you'd be there. She couldn't see you personally, but we talked about you. I talked about you. You were more than a friend." She paused "I'm sorry I left, you deserve to grow old and be happy."
"I won't be anywhere near as happy with someone else as I would with you. I've been trying to get you out of my mind for three years..." I admitted with a little blush.
"three years?" she asked with slight amusement.
I chuckled "how could you not know? You've consumed my thoughts ever since you showed up. I always thought I was sneaky, but Alice always caught it"
"I guess I had a better time hiding it. Edward told me that we can all have our happily ever after. He got his and now it's time for me to get mine."
"you deserve happiness just like everyone else." I replied looking into her eyes, trying to convey my feelings. I did love her, part of it was the mate bond but the other part was Alice. She sang Rosalie's praise, and I can't help but love her.
"You've changed since then." She mumbled looking up at me. "You're taller, you're more muscular. But you're still just as beautiful"
I shook my head slightly "it doesn't compare to you"
We stood there for a long while, our skin touching. It wasn't freezing as I had expected it to be, in fact it felt like it was supposed to. Like she was the same temperature as me.
Soon I maneuvered us to my bed, where we sat across from each other just basking in the light.
"This is easier than I thought it would be" she whispered, I rose a brow confused by what she meant "all of this, I figured it would be harder. The others have been trying to get me to say something for years, especially after Edward... I hoped that staying away would keep you safe. But last spring... I doubled my efforts to avoid you and when we came back, and you found out. I ran because I still didn't believe I was good for you, I'm this and you're you. But seeing you today, almost getting killed and Alice's confirmation about you and others." she almost growled "I couldn't stay away anymore."
"I'm sorry" I looked down "I... I thought you didn't want anything to do with me, so I tried to find someone else. I wanted to not feel the pain or sadness I felt when you walked away. It never worked. Maybe one day I could have found someone who made me feel happy, but I saw my Great Grandmother, she was so alone and sad after Ephraim. I can have many imprints but only one mate."
"what's the difference?" I looked up a small smile on my lips.
"an imprint to the Amaroks is temporary – for the most part. It can be friends, siblings and occasionally lovers but it doesn't last. It's like a tether, something to keep you balanced. They teach you and you teach them. Sometimes they need you and sometimes you need them"
"have you imprinted?" she asked quietly, almost shyly.
I nodded "I think twice... well I think I have two. One I know for sure. Leah, I knew the moment I looked into her eyes that we were going to be important to each other. She's one of my best friends"
"and the other?"
I furrowed my brows "I think it was Bella. I can't be sure, it could be just a bond because of our parents. We're friends definitely, but not like Leah and I. Bella's like the older sister, whereas Leah is the best friend" I smiled. "I think the imprint is why I was drawn to her, its why I found her so fast and got her from the water"
"you saved her? So, she would have died?" Rosalie asked her eyes wide.
"well, yeah. I would have no matter what. But that day the waves were too strong and freezing. I found her after Victoria got away, I was worried she'd go around and get to the reservation. My mom was there that day, and Bella spent a lot of time at the beach. Plus, it was spring break, there was a chance that kids would be there. That's when I found myself on the cliffs, like a magnet pulled me there. Just as she jumped. She didn't even try to swim" I mumbled remembering how accepting Bella was of her fate.
I took a breath then continued, Rosalie was silent, patient and waiting for my story to end. "Then I imprinted again on Leah. After her dad died. She needed me, but I also needed her. At that time, I felt like a failure, I couldn't keep my mom safe, or Harry. And I didn't know what was going to happen but the two of us needed each other."
I looked into Rosalies eyes, and it felt like the first time "a mate is forever. We only have one. But it's not... it's not like you are the sun or the moon. Unlike the other wolves my world doesn't revolve around you..." I chuckled "I know that sounds little bad, but I promise it isn't. It's like my whole life I was lost, walking in a dark tunnel trying to find the exit. I'd make a little progress and then you showed up and suddenly it wasn't so dark, because you had the flashlight. And I wasn't alone. I was still lost but everything was okay because I could find the exit with you. If you left, I'd still be in the tunnel, I might find the way out eventually but its better with you."
Rosalie smiled slightly and her eyes looked like they were watering. I gently reached up to brush my thumb underneath her eye. Her eyes drifted to my lips for a fraction of a second.
I swallowed before looking in her eyes. "Can I... Can I kiss you?"
Rosalie nodded "yes"
Our lips met in a gentle touch; Rosalie deepened the kiss. It was perfect, my senses were intensified, every touch felt stronger, even if she barely brushed her hand on my arm, I felt it all. I thought I would never get used to her touch, yet I never wanted it to end.
The next day I woke up surrounded by the scent of wild berries. I couldn't explain why Rosalie changed her idea about me, truthfully, but it felt as if we'd know each other our whole life. But there was so much about each other that we didn't know, I didn't want to force her to talk so on Sunday I started.
I told her about my family history, how my maternal family was originally from Poland, and Slovakia, how my great grandparents moved from there and settled in the tiny town of Forks. They had seven kids, but only my grandfather had any children after that. My great-uncle was living in Texas for a little while, single and accumulating money until he passed of old age a few years ago, leaving me with a large inheritance. Then of course my mom and aunt. My aunt was unmarried and had no children, possibly because she helped raise me. Now that I think about it the reason she never married or had Mark move in was because of me. My mom got married young and had me.
"and my dad died when I was nine. Car accident, but with all the supernatural I wonder if maybe it was something more. I mean my people are very susceptible to all sorts of illnesses and diseases before phasing. That's why we died out"
"that's horrible" she whispered her fingers playing with mine.
"that's what my autoimmune diseases were. Just a consequence of my heritage. We do have some protections, against the supernatural at least" I smiled. "it's not full proof, I mean you smelled me"
Rosalie grimaced "it was terrible." I winced, Rosalie let out a small chuckle "not like that, you didn't smell bad. You smelled really good. I was afraid I'd break my clean streak."
I looked at her to continue, this was the first time she was offering any information about her life, and I wanted to hear everything.
"I have the best record, with the exception of Carlisle. My story doesn't have a happy ending, but which of us had a happy circumstance that led to this. Carlisle was bit by some ancient vampire and left to ravage his town. Edward was dying of the Spanish influenza, Esme, she lost her son and jumped off a cliff. Emmett was attacked by a bear. Jasper and Lucia were used for political gain and Alice doesn't remember... but I do, I remember everything."
"you don't have to tell me"
Rosalie gave me a small smile "I do, you deserve to know. We are mates after all. Besides you told me so much already"
"I still have so much more"
"and I want to hear all of it, but I should return the gesture. I want you to know. You are my mate"
A feeling of elation filled me when she said that, when she admitted that we were mates and that she wanted me. "it's one of the reasons I don't want anyone to have this life, one of the reasons I avoided you before. I didn't want to take away your humanity"
"it's already gone, I'm not a human anymore. The only thing you can take is my heart, and it's already yours, it was yours the moment I first laid my eyes on you. I may have still been a human, but I knew."