The music was blasting through the speakers and the crowd was loud. People were laughing and dancing while others were talking and drinking in the other room. I, however, stood sipping on water pretending to enjoy myself. I was quite impressed by the amount of people here, to be honest. Jen had definitely made sure to invite loads of people, even if she didn't know them. Yet, one person was missing. I wasn't sure why, but I had been waiting to hear his leather boots make their way across the floor, and part of me was hoping he would show. Why would he come though? Had he even talked to Jen? And my four-word conversation at the beginning of the week didn't count. Not that I assumed he would even know Jen and I were friends.
"You enjoying yourself?" Jen's words distracted my thoughts, and I mumbled an 'uh huh' while I sipped on my water.
"You know the world doesn't end if you take a sip of something stronger."
I faked her a smile. "And the world doesn't end if you don't."
She laughed at my comeback, and I emptied my cup and gave her a smile. "Stop worrying about me. I'm fine. Go play a game and get yourself smashed if you want. I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks babe." She kissed my cheek and went back to the living room. I think she was going to play "Never have I ever" or some other drinking game I had seen on TV, and I was more than happy that I didn't need to give strangers information about my boring life.
I grabbed my cup and filled it with water once again before taking another sip. I wanted to clear my mind of Jen's and Maggie's words that seemed to be constantly nagging my mind as if the water would just wash everything away. Unsurprisingly though nothing happened, yet a certain green eyed boy was there once again to distract me.
He didn't look my way, and I was certain he hadn't even noticed my presence. He wouldn't care anyway. I was just a girl, nothing different from anyone else, (except maybe from my lack of experience, which of course he wouldn't know based on my looks) yet, I kept staring, and an unintentionally smile crept over my lips.
He was talking to another guy, who I didn't know, but whom I assumed was older. That made me almost certain that Harry would be older too and because of that, he would have no interest in talking to me.
I found Harry intriguing and not because of his looks, but I was mesmerized by the way he carried himself. People were staring for, what I guessed, different reasons, but even though some would give him the elevator look and shake their head at his choice of attire, he shrugged them off, unbothered. He seemed to be in a constant good mood, and I admired him for seeming so relaxed in himself, but what did I know? I didn't know many people, and I tended to keep to myself mostly. For all I knew he could be just as most others covering it up really well.
I blushed and I'd like to tell myself I didn't know why, but I knew. My thoughts were naïve and immature yet they kept surfacing, taunting me with what I couldn't have. I was okay with that though. I didn't need a boyfriend. I didn't need someone to rant to about my life. I was okay by myself. At least I had to be.
As if I hadn't been drinking enough water that night I emptied another cup. I wasn't sure if I was trying to fool them or myself more by letting them think I was drinking something else in my red disposable cup that matched everyone else's, but I continued drinking either way.
A drunk guy grabbed me by the hand trying to get me to dance with him, but I refused causing a few stares, including Harry's, as I told the boy no.
I cleared my throat and headed for the living room as I found the unwanted attention uncomfortable. "She's here," Jen exclaimed, and I faked everybody a smile, as I had once again become the center of attention.
"You here to join us?" She asked with a hopeful smile, and I shook my head. I wasn't. I had just found the attention from the other room uncomfortable.
"C'mon, it'll be fun," the crowd Jen was playing with added in.
"I-I need to go to the bathroom," I stuttered finding an excuse to fled the scene. I really should have stayed home tonight. There was truly no point in me being there.
After going to the bathroom, I found myself back in the kitchen sipping on water once again. No wonder I had to go pee. "What are you drinking?" A guy mumbled, and I didn't need a genius telling me he was drunk.
"Water."
"Is that a code word for something cute and fancy like yourself."
I rolled my eyes. "No, in a matter of fact it's just water."
"That's boring."
"First you compare me to a drink and now you call me boring. Are you done insulting me yet? Because I'm really not liking how you are talking to me," I said regretting it as soon as I did.
"Bitch!" He called out before he grabbed another drink and found other people to disturb.
I didn't say anything after that. I could easily have called him something back, but I wasn't that kind of person. I would never judge a book by its cover, but he just annoyed me with his words. Harry still had time to prove himself as a good person, and I would definitely give him the benefit of the doubt. I knew very well all guys weren't the same. Unfortunately though, I would mostly cross paths with guys who just wanted one thing. When I told them no, they found it elsewhere, proving to me they weren't worth it in the first place.
I placed my once again empty cup on the counter and looked at my watch. 10:10pm. I could go to bed right? Who was I kidding, of course I could. It was not like I would be missing anywhere if I did.
I was not sure if I had hoped someone would casually come and talk to me in a sober state, but I had to laugh at myself of how silly that thought was. I was certain nobody here except me was sober, and if they wanted company they'd go join a game. So with nothing better to do, I headed upstairs to the guest room to change.
I was unsure about how much time had passed after I had brushed my teeth and was lying in bed, but just as I was about to fall asleep somebody entered the room and turned on the light.
"Sorry, I'm trying to sleep here!" I grumbled, and I was expecting to hear laughter at my early night, but he didn't laugh, and it wasn't until I heard him talk and my eyes had finally gotten used to the bright light that I realised who it was.
"My apologies. Didn't mean to disturb you."
"Right." I felt uncomfortable in his presence. I was only wearing a large t-shirt and my knickers luckily though the duvet hid the latter. However, I quickly crossed my arms over my chest to cover my lack of bra.
I gave him a stare, and he ran a hand through his hair. It was the first time, I hadn't seen it in a bun. It was long - shoulder length, but even though I found it too long I had to admit that it suited him. He could pull it off somehow even if most men couldn't. "Right. I should get going," he licked his bottom lip. Surprisingly he seemed uncomfortable, which I found strange as I was in a matter of fact the one in a lack of clothing.
"Mind to tell me why you're in here in the first place?" I spoke up just before he reached the door handle.
"Don't laugh," he said, and I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm hiding."
I couldn't help but laugh. Either he was playing hide and seek, which would be quite funny or he was avoiding someone. Either way my amusement was evident. "I said, don't laugh." He gave me a smile, and I looked away feeling the heat in my cheeks.
"Why are you hiding?"
"I could ask you the same thing."
"I'm not. Simply trying to sleep but then this guy stormed in to the room and woke me. Happen to know anything about that?"
"Unfortunately not. But I'm sure he's incredibly sorry for doing so." His eyes met mine, and I couldn't help but smile at him. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, which was unusual for me. I normally couldn't keep a conversation with strangers. I didn't know what to talk to them about, but with Harry it all came naturally.
"Well, if you meet him. Could you let him know I accept his apology?"
He nodded, "I'll write it down on my to do list."
"Thank you."
"So why are you up here trying to sleep when there is a party going on downstairs?"
"Why are you in here hiding?"
"A girl."
"What?"
"She is pissed. She was getting on my nerves to be fair. She threw herself at me. Wasn't taking no for an answer. Had to hide for her to leave me alone. Didn't want to take advantage of her," he explained, and honestly I didn't know what he was talking about so I narrowed my eyes at him, while he continued his explanation "you know-sex."
I was sure my face resembled a tomato when he said the last word. I felt stupid for not realising what he meant, and I no longer felt comfortable in his present. If only I hadn't been so curious. However, I had to give him credit. Not every guy would say no to a girl who was throwing herself at them even if wasted.
"Oh." Was all that escaped my lips, and I mentally face palmed myself for not saying something different. Of course she would want sex. That's what most people wanted, especially teenagers I guessed. So it really should have been no surprise.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he paused before casually changing the topic. "So you mind telling me why you aren't down there?" He pushed while sitting down on the floor with his back against the wall, and I stayed silent not sure if we should continue this conversation. He had not done anything wrong. It was the opposite actually, yet I had an urge for him to leave. I didn't want to make a bigger fool of myself than I had already. "I apologize. I'm sure you want to sleep. I'll leave you alone." He was trying to get back up from the floor when I spoke up.
"I don't want to be someone I'm not." My confession took us both by surprise.
"What do you mean?" His eyes caught mine.
"You probably think I'm childish." I looked down. "But I don't want to drink. I don't want to lose control of my body and become someone I'm not. I don't want to sit there and pretend like I'm having a good time when I'm not." I wasn't sure why I had told him this, but it felt good getting it off my chest. Not many people understood my reasoning and even less took the time to even listen. Hopefully he was different. At least he had taken the time of his day to actually listen, which was more than I could say for most people.
"I don't think you're childish."
"Liar." I burst out not believing him.
"I'm serious. Alcohol isn't good for you, and I think you are pretty mature for saying no and not getting peer pressured."
"Don't tell me you don't like a drink."
"I do," he confessed. "But that doesn't mean I think getting drunk all the time is s good idea or that I don't respect your reasons for not drinking. I'm quite impressed if I'm being honest." He sounded genuine, and I sighed in relief. If he had started laughing at me, I was afraid of how I would have reacted.
"Once again, I apologize. Haven't even introduced myself. What a gentleman I am," he said sarcastically. "I'm Harry."
"Nice to meet you, Harry." I smiled even if I already knew. His name was foreign on my lips, but I liked it. "I'm El." I said. I had never liked my actual name. People would always mistake me for a boy if they saw it on paper.
"Is that short for something?"
"How'd you know?"
"Lucky guess," he gave me a smile.
"It's Elliot."
"Nice to meet you, Elliot."
"Please call me El or Ellie," I corrected, and he sent me a smirk.
"Elliot."
"Someone's being cheeky."
"Oh, you have no idea," he chuckled, and I giggled unintentionally and started blushing again.
I leaned back and rested my head on the pillow.
"Am I boring you? Sorry, I'm sure you're tired, yeah? I should let you sleep."
"I was actually liking the company," I admitted feeling the heat in my cheeks once more.
"Me too," he confessed, and I felt my heart skip a beat. Did he seriously just tell me he enjoyed my company?
"So you don't want to get back to that girl?" I asked regretting it as soon as I did. But to be honest, I didn't understand why he was spending his time with me when he could be spending it with someone else enjoying himself in a completely different way.
"What girl?" He narrowed his eyes at me, clearly not following.
"The girl who wanted to- you know," I bit my bottom lip, hoping he understood. I really couldn't get myself to say the word out loud in his presence.
He laughed and licked his bottom lip, something I had watched him do earlier. "No. I'd rather spend my time with you. That is if you don't mind?"
"I don't mind," I told him honestly even though this was not how I had planned spending the night. I guess part of me had hoped he would talk to me at one point, though. I had hoped he would talk and prove to me he was not the typical guy, even if I never expected our conversation to take place here or like this. But so far I had nothing negative to say about him. And I felt genuine happy knowing he was willingly choosing to spent his time with me instead of elsewhere.
"So Ellio.." He was about to finish that when I sent him a stare. "Ellie? Tell me something about yourself."
"There's nothing to tell really." He didn't want to know that I had lived all my life in London with my parents and sister. He didn't want to know how I had always had everything handed to me even it wasn't anything I needed. He didn't want to know how my parents were and how it had been growing up being the oldest in my family. He didn't want to know why I had graduated college a year earlier than anyone else. No he didn't want to hear any of it. At least I didn't think so. So I stayed quiet, believing my life was uninteresting.
"C'mon. I seriously doubt that. Any secrets in the closet wanting to come out?"
I shook my head not sure what to tell him. I could just spill everything on my mind, but I didn't want him to judge me. He didn't know me, and until I got to know him better I'd like it to stay that way.
"You sure?" He was persistent but when I didn't answer he tried a different strategy.
"You have any siblings?"
"A sister."
"Younger or older?"
"Younger."
"How old."
"Okay what's this? 20 questions. Why is my sisters age so important?"
"It's not, but this is apparently the only way I can get you to tell me something about yourself," he chuckled.
I sighed. "She's 14 if you absolutely must know. Now Harry. What made you come here tonight?" I asked very curious of his reasoning in coming.
"Thought it'd be a good way to get to know people, and I was right," he sent me a wink, and I gulped unsure of how to respond. He was so much better at this thing than I was. I constantly felt uncomfortable in his presence, while he seemed to find the situation much more pleasant.
"Right," I looked down trying not to meet his gaze.
"Why did you decide to come if I may ask? I mean you don't drink and you go to bed early. This isn't your place is it?"
I shook my head in no. "I don't believe I need to drink to be here enjoying myself." I shot back sounding more harsh than intended.
"Oh, you don't. But from what I could tell you weren't enjoying yourself, and you declined every guy wanting to talk to you for some reason."
I liked the fact that he had been watching me, though I couldn't help but wonder why. "You were watching me?" It was a rhetoric question, I very well knew the answer to but he answered anyway.
"Yes."
"Why?"
He ran his tongue along his lips and looked down. I was sure I was making him uncomfortable, and I really liked that it wasn't the other way around for once. "No reason. Just keeping an eye out."
"Sure." I was nowhere near convinced by his recent statement.
"I wondered why you were keeping to yourself. You didn't look happy. You looked upset if I'm being honest."
"Then why didn't you come talk to me?" I narrowed my eyes at him.
"To be honest, I was afraid you'd tell me off as well. Didn't want to make you more upset by annoying you with my presence."
Great. Now he thinks I'm this really bad person. "Hope you don't think of me as a bad person. One wanted me to dance with him. And I am for a fact a terrible dancer. The other was insulting me in his drunken state."
"I don't. Just hope your night wasn't completely wasted."
"I might have thought of it that way. But not anymore," I bit my bottom lip and met his eyes. He was smiling and butterflies erupted from my stomach. It was a weird and foreign feeling, yet nice.
"Good. Don't want you to regret coming."
"I don't. Though I have to admit, I did wonder why I said yes in the first place."
"Why did you?"
"Because Jen wanted me to be here, and I didn't want her to have to deal with everything on her own. If she gets wasted I'm here for her, and I'm here to clean up the mess I'm sure will be here in the morning."
"You're a good friend."
"I try to be." I confessed knowing I had said too much.
"You should really give yourself more credit. Seems like you care about her a lot. It's always nice to have a friend like that." His phone started to ring surprising us both. I had practically forgotten that the outside world existed and that we weren't the only people left.
"Sorry," he mumbled holding out a finger before he answered. "Hey man, what's up?"
I looked away not wanting to stare at him while he was on the phone though part of me wanted to.
"Yes I'm still here, why? - Oh, I see I'll be down in a sec." He hung up, and I felt bad knowing he was about to leave. He probably had something better to do which I didn't blame him for.
"I think your friend is pissed. Jennifer is it?"
"But she's okay, right?" Suddenly I was worried.
"No She's not feeling well. She's vomiting."
"Oh," I said getting up immediately by his recent statement. I had promised, I would be there for her if she got pissed. But just as I was about to exit the room I realised my attire.
Harry got back on his feet and eyed me from my head to my feet and back up with a smirk on his face.
Great.
"Give me a second," I said grabbing my duffel bag before heading to the bathroom.
When the door was closed behind me, I wanted to hit myself or scream for making me look like a complete fool in front of him. He had seen me in my knickers. How embarrassing. Quickly, I grabbed my bra and slit it up under my t-shirt.
What to wear? I questioned myself not wanting everybody to know I'd gone to bed. I put on my black pair of jeans and changed the t-shirt with a flannel that I quickly buttoned. My hair was looking horrendous so I quickly put it in a ponytail, thinking it would have to do.
Surprisingly Harry was waiting for me in the doorway exactly where I'd left him. It made me happy knowing he hadn't gone without me. "You alright?"
"Yes," I gave him a smile and we walked downstairs in silence. It wasn't awkward or anything. It honestly felt quite relaxing being close to him without talking.
"Ellie," Jen exclaimed the minute she saw me, but it was easy to tell she was in a poor state. Her eyes were red and bloodshot and her face slightly pale even for this time of year.
"How much have you been drinking?" I asked tugging her hair behind her ear.
"Too much," she confessed, and I noticed the guy Harry had been talking to earlier standing next to her with a bowl.
He gave me a smile and looked at Harry. "Did you two?"
"Did you two what?" Jen added in before grabbing the bowl from the strangers grip and threw up.
"No. We didn't," Harry replied and his friend gazed at us both to make sure we weren't lying.
"No, they didn't," Jen added in. Unfortunately for me she finally caught up on the topic. "Because, El is a good girl. She wouldn't. She hasn't," she mumbled on, and I knew my cheeks were heating up again.
"Okay, Jen. Enough talking." I bit my lip and sent Harry an awkward smile, but he didn't seem affected by her words. He just gave me a genuine smile, showing off his dimples, and I wished it was only the two of us in that moment.
"Thank you for letting him know," I told the friend, wondering why he had called Harry in the first place but happy that he had.
"Don't mention it. People are getting quite loud and out of hand. Thought it'd be a good idea to tell them to leave. But I need a hand. Not sure I can leave this one alone," he said referring to Jen, and a smile spread on my lips at his consideration.
"I'll look after her." I told them. "Thank you." I told him again. Had he not been here, I most likely wouldn't have known the poor state she was in.
"You alright there?" Harry sounded concerned for her, which I found very cute. I gave him a smile and a nod in reassurance.
The sound of Harry wolf whistling took me aback, yet it got everybody's attention. "Okay everyone, party's over." He said while him and his friend walked around helping people out.
"You're a mess." I told Jen, and she didn't reply before throwing up again.
"Good thing you found the right person to look after you."
"You mad?"
"No," I held up her hair. "But you don't need to do these things to make people like you."
"But no one likes me."
"I like you."
"But you're a girl. That doesn't count."
"Thanks Jen," I rolled my eyes.
"I'm serious. No guy will ever like me."
"You need to give yourself more credit. But you might be right. Don't think you are that attractive with your head buried in a bowl reeking of vomit."
"You're mean."
"I know, but I'm serious. I like you more when you're sober. Don't need to drink to have people like you, hun."
Jen threw up again causing me to laugh. "Not funny."
"Well, you put yourself here. By the way Harry's friend seems to like you." I told her noticing that the place was pretty much empty.
Harry came back to us. "Louis is showing the last people out. You two alright?"
Louis. So that was his name?
"Thank you. You didn't have to do this." I told him.
"No worries, doll." He walked to the kitchen and came back to us with a glass of water for Jen.
"How you holding up? You alright?" He asked handing her the glass.
She swallowed without a word and threw up again. "I take that as a no. Guess the water only made it worse, hey?"
"All clear," Louis said walking over to us. "Now how are you feeling."
"Bad," Jen replied holding the bowl for dear life while I continued holding her hair.
"We should get you to bed," Louis suggested, and I nodded in approval. Sleep seemed like the best idea for her at the moment.
"Not tired," Jen protested.
"Of course you're not. Now let's get you up. Can you walk?"
Jen got off the table she was sitting on, but stumbled over her own feet and fell face first. "That answers my question." Louis rolled his eyes and picked her up from the floor.
"What room is hers?"
"First one on the right. I'll show you."
"That's alright. You stay here. Don't want Harry here to get lonely." He sent Harry a wink while Jen rested her head against his chest, and I watched him carry her upstairs.
"Thank you. You really didn't have to do that."
"Don't worry about it," Harry said giving me yet another smile. I liked his smile a lot.
The place was a mess, and I let out a sigh knowing my job would be to clean the place. Cups were everywhere along with empty bottles and alcohol was spilled in several places. If we were lucky we could remove all evidence of the party ever taking place. But if not, Jen's mom would find out and if my parents found out hell would break lose. "I should get to it."
"I'll help," he offered but I shook my head.
"You've already done enough."
"That was nothing. Would feel bad if I left you to deal with all this by yourself."
Louis came down clearing his throat while looking at both of us. "Am I interrupting anything?"
We both shook our heads, but the grin on his face told me he wasn't convinced. He let it go, though. "She's asleep."
"Already?"
"Yes. Passed out immediately. The alcohol has definitely made her sleepy. Think she'll be alright. She's sleeping on her side, which is good. I would have told you to give her something to eat like a piece of fruit and drink water before going to sleep, but in the state she's in, unfortunately I don't think she can keep anything in her system."
I nodded. I had never dealt with a drunk person before. How long did it take for the alcohol to leave her system? God I needed to know this if I were to become a doctor, didn't I?
"When she wakes try and get her to at least drink something. She'll need it. However the alcohol have hit her hard. The vomiting might continue in the morning. She should be alright though. Does she always drink this much?" Louis questioned.
"No normally she doesn't drink."
"That explains a lot."
"Now are you okay by yourself or do you need help cleaning up?"
"I'm okay."
"You sure," Harry clearly wasn't convinced.
"I'm sure. You can leave. You don't have to spent the entire night cleaning a place that isn't yours."
"Well neither do you," Harry did not seem to like the idea of leaving me alone which was nice. However, I couldn't find it in me to ask him to stay.
"It's okay. I'll just wait till tomorrow and have Jen help me," I said. Had they known me well enough they would know that was a lie. There was no way I would wait that long to clean this, and I would not make Jen help me in the state she was in.
"You sure."
"Jesus, Haz. The girl said she'll be alright. No reason to pester her about it," Louis chuckled, and I smiled noticing Harry's cheeks flush slightly.
Harry looked at his feet and then back up while pulling at his hair. "Can I borrow your phone?"
I gave him a confused stare but got it out of my back pocket and unlocked it before handing it over.
Both Louis and I stood watching him unaware of what he was doing. He had his own phone, right? Everybody had their own phone these days. So why would he need mine?
He handed it back to me with a mischievous smile. Our fingers touched but only briefly yet it had another set of butterflies erupt from my stomach. "Call me if you need anything. I'm under H." He sent me a wink.
"I think I can figure that out," I bit my bottom lip, hiding my smile. I had gotten his number and without even asking. I was not sure what I would need it for, but the fact itself made me happy. Jen would go crazy when she heard about it.
"Good."
"Okay, love birds. Harry, time to go. Hope she's alright. Tell her not to drink so much another time." I liked Louis already. But it was definitely different from how I liked Harry even though I practically did not know either of them yet.
They headed for the door with me following after them. "Get home safely." I said and regretted it as soon as I did. I sounded like a parent.
"Oh don't worry, Ellie. I'll make sure he gets home safe," Louis joked, and they both looked at me.
"Ignore him. See you soon?" Harry said.
I nodded. "Yes." I wasn't sure how to say goodbye to either of them, but when we didn't do anything I felt slightly disappointed.
"Bye."
"Bye." I gave them a quick wave and watched as they left.
What the hell just happened? The question was left unanswered and I couldn't help but think the entire night had just been a dream. But when I turned around to find the mess I smiled, because I knew it wasn't.
I headed upstairs checking on Jen. She was alright sleeping heavily on her left side with the duvet over her. It was nice of Louis to tuck her in, and I wished I could join her. The bed looked surprisingly comfortable, but there was a house to clean. So instead of going to sleep I headed downstairs and began cleaning the mess.
And I thought I would get an early night. Oh how wrong I had been about that.