For years, after Sasuke left the village to protect his brother, heeding Danzō's words, I trained as I bled and suffered. I love my village as much as I love Sasuke, but I can't help the pain in my heart when I remember the agony in his eyes that day. He burdened so much pain on his shoulders, balancing his responsibilities as a kid and a future shinobi, but he knew the day that his life changed would mark history forever, naming him the rogue ninja of the Hidden Leaves.
Sasuke Uchiha isn't a murderer in my eyes. He's a victim. A measly pawn in Danzō's pathetic game to gain power over the village, but as two teenagers with no power in this monarchy, we'll never take him down. Not as we are.
I want to save everyone, now that I found Sasuke again, but being confined in this prison means: you're alive to suffer through your punishment as a criminal, or dead to be haunted by your misery as a criminal when you were alive.
I was living the life in pain, masking my misery behind an emotionless expression, neglecting the metaphorical void in my hollow chest that slowly began to crumble from the pressure of trying to keep the ideal image in front of everyone. I fought with my bare hands. I shed blood to protect my home, our home, but I felt nothing without him. Without Sasuke. No one understands what it means to lose a friend that you cherished your entire life. My soul is bound to his and I think I understand what it means to grasp love in chastity.
Love used to be something else to me. A dreadful feeling from wanting to feel another's love again. My father made me feel lonely, and, in spite of my endurance to his absence in my intolerable life, I found a reason to be strong. I found Sasuke.
His absence might've brought me pain too, but I promised myself, no, I made a vow as a ninja to bring him back in my arms once I left the village safely, and once I found his warmth again; I wanted to find a way to save him and everyone else. I'm selfish, I know, but I'm not evil. I love everyone. I see the village as my home. They might've torn down my self-esteem quite a bit, but Sasuke built it back up each time, reminding me that if I listened to them, we wouldn't become rivals in the future.
That we wouldn't become the ideal figures of Konoha that would lead them to peace.
I heeded Sasuke's words as I longed for him for years. I hated the loneliness but the loneliness is what kept me sane for Sasuke. I fought to be stronger, I fought to protect my home, and I fought to protect Sasuke, All of those enemies that were after Sasuke's blood, I defeated them all. Without the Nine-Tailed chakra.
Even as we sit in this cold cell within this ghastly prison, I know what needs to be done and what I need to do. I can sit around and be filled with happiness, but that's not going to break us out of here. I need to think of a plan, a solution. I need to―
"Danzō will stop at nothing to become Hokage," Sasuke says, interrupting my thoughts. "Even if it means he'll have to wipe out the entire village just to create his own despotism. He holds an entire arm of Sharingan, and, as much as it pisses me off, I can't add on to my criminal record in the bingo book for killing one of the council."
"So what now? We sit in here until he gets what he wants?" I ask, watching one of the guards walk past our cell.
"No, we need to find a way to bail out of here, but we can't be hasty."
"What did you do so far?"
Sasuke sighs. "All I did was think of an effective strategy, nothing else. So far, all I got is to defeat Mui and find a way to get him to undo this seal so I can escape back to Itachi."
"Where is he anyway?"
Sasuke goes silent and looks away from me.
"Sasuke?"
Sasuke clenches his hand into a fist and sucks his teeth. "He had no choice..."
"What are you talking about?"
"He ― Itachi ― He joined the Akatsuki for my sake. For the village's sake. For his sake. He―" I pull Sasuke into my arms and bury his face in my chest.
"That's enough. I understand."
"Do you understand?" Sasuke's voice is muffled in my chest but I can understand him.
I nod in response. "Yeah."
"But you don't. Itachi joined the Akatsuki to serve as a spy for the Hidden Leaf Village and to keep me safe from the village's radar. Itachi, the person who was chosen by Danzō to kill our clan, correspondingly threatened to reveal all of Konoha's confidential information to foreign forces if Danzō brings harm to me. He isn't the enemy in their eyes and since they have hope in him, they allowed him to infiltrate the Akatsuki without knowing the reason he left in the first place."
"When did he―?"
"A few years ago, before I was captured and brought here, he told me that the Hidden Leaf could provide some intel on you and everyone else to keep me strong throughout our journey, so he took off one night in disguise for the Hokage office and became their spy. They told him to kill me if he crossed paths with me, and Itachi, as selfless as he was, lied through his teeth about my location. He sacrificed his entire life to keep me safe, the person who killed our clan, and for what? To continue loving me as a big brother?"
"You stayed beside him through it all, Sasuke. You meant more to him than anything else. A simple life or death position was nothing except a bargain he was willing to take. He knew he was gambling his life the moment he stepped foot in the office without a coordinated plan, but he did it anyway, he saved you."
"But I still managed to end up in here."
"At least you're out of danger, Sasuke. I bet that's what he thinks too."
"I'm sorry, Naruto." Sasuke holds me closer. "I'm sorry for leaving you all of this time."
"I told you to, idiot."
"You told me to stay by your side as your friend, and I went back on my promise by leaving without a thought of returning."
"I said it's fine. I would've come after you sooner or later anyway."
"Later would've been better."
"It did take later. A few years later."
***
"That's not going to work." Sasuke sighs, watching me attempt to climb the wall to get to the roof, repeatedly falling down with a hard thud each time I made it halfway. "Are you even using any chakra?"
"I barely even have any chakra." I purse my lips, crossing my arms. "I don't want to spend my days in here, I want to hurry back to Konoha. I can't explain it but I have a bad feeling. A very bad feeling."
"Didn't you say Kakashi got the Akatsuki outside of the gate? They should be fine for a while―"
"No, I mean, yeah, he got them, but I feel uneasy. I felt uneasy then and I feel uneasy now. Something isn't right. They were defeated too easily, way too easily. A few punches and they were down. Sasuke, you can't tell me that rogue ninja like them were weak enough to be taken down like that?"
"I wasn't there so I can't say how strong or weak they truly were, but the Akatsuki are strong, very strong. Strong enough to defeat an entire nation with their bare hands if they choose to go down that path. But they won't. They can, but they won't. They want power. Some want bloodshed, but a lot just want overpower the weak. The leader controls the Akatsuki into submission, controlling their decision-making, causing each member to obey. The leader wants to have all five nations to himself and if he died, the entire five nations would be extinct. They're strong enough to take down Konoha if the leader sees the village as a threat, so for Kakashi to take them down all alone, I have a hunch they're just playing shogi. Each one, except Itachi, is like a keima, they're the knight ready to jump over all pieces to get to the endgame."
"So what is Itachi?"
"A pawn. As harsh as it sounds, he is. In this game of shogi, he's the pawn in everything. A narigin could've been him if he chose a different path, but he's a pawn and, for some reason, I think I am a pawn too. The fact I killed because I was ordered to by a man with a desire for power makes me upset, but what's done is done and Konoha deserves a king instead of me. I'm no knight for them, I'm a pawn. That's it."
"If you return with me to save them from the Akatsuki, you'll be a knight in this game of shogi. You won't be seen as weak. You'll be seen as strong."
"Why would I be seen as that? I was weak against Danzō, so I'm weak overall."
I grab Sasuke's face in my hands, staring into his sad eyes. "I can't stand hearing you degrade yourself like this. You're strong, Sasuke. You can withstand anything. You were strong against the decision to kill your clan, enduring the pain for so many years knowing the truth will always hurt. Don't underestimate yourself. Itachi believes in you and I do too. My mom misses you at home, so come with me. Join me to taste her ramen again. Let's have another sleepover. And let's be friends again in Konoha."
"You deserve a friend that will actually think of you as a friend."
My heart stings and my lips gradually part from revelation. I stare into his eyes, searching for a contradiction in his reaction. There are none. "What?"
"I don't think of you as a friend. I think of you as home. I think of you as a substitute of warmth. I think of you as someone I can run back to. I think of you as the embodiment of the sun, shining down on me through this darkness that's closing me in. I think of you as someone that's in here," he points to his heart in his chest, "constantly making me nervous from how good I feel inside. I feel like I can see stars being this close to you. That's not how friends should think of the other, so you should find someone that's not me and―"
"That's fine, isn't it?" I whisper, sighing a breath of relief. "I think the same way, so isn't it fine to think of one another like that?"
"But we won't be able to act like friends like you want. We'll be closer, less platonic, and―"
"That's fine. I just want to use any excuse to stay close to you. As a friend or whatever. I'm fine with the bond we have. Let me be close to you, Sasuke. I don't want to lose you again. That's the last thing I want to do."
"I'm not running away anymore. I'm staying beside you. I promised to fight as rivals in the future so I'll do just that. I'll stay with you until the future comes and we can be strong together. But not just then, I'll stay with you until we die. That's what I want."
"So you're going to return to Konoha?"
"I need time to think before returning there. I don't know how things will turn out if I return as I am now."
"Okay," I nod, "I don't mind waiting."
"That means try not to break out before I decide that I want to return."
"I won't try to leave beforehand!"
"Good."