"How was Demi's date?"
There was a subtle tightness around Camila's eyes that suggested she didn't really want to know the answer to her question. Like all of us, she was trying to be happy for my best friend, but she couldn't help but mourn the loss of Demi might-have-been relationship with Selena.
She was fiercely protective of her best friend and hated that Demi dating someone else might be causing her pain. Selena was a lot tougher than Camila gave her credit for, though. Selena was more than capable of rebounding. It might even be better for her. Dating a vampire wasn't an easy choice.
"I'm not really sure babe," I admitted.
Demi had remained extremely tight-lipped, shrouding even her thoughts on the matter. She had always been very private, so it wasn't all that surprising. When she was ready to talk, Dinah and I would be the first people on her list.
Camila frowned. "Don't you guys tell one another everything?"
I shrugged. "Demi's not the kind to share more than necessary."
"If she didn't mention anything, it must have gone okay," Camila rationalized, her teeth rutted against her bottom lip. "If she never planned on seeing her again, she'd say so, right?"
I shrugged. "She's never dated anyone before, so there's no precedent." I paused, unsure how to delicately word what I wanted to say. "Dinah says Heidi is good for her… and as much as I hate to admit it, she's pretty good at gauging that stuff."
"She thought Selena and Demi were compatible, too," Camila grumbled with an adorable pout.
I kissed away the crease in her forehead, threading her fingers with mine. "If it's meant to be, it'll happen."
"I know," Camila mumbled. "Stupid, pretty, long-legged Heidi ruining everything."
I chuckled at her curmudgeonly attitude. "You're way too invested. Selena is perfectly capable of finding her own dates, you know."
Camila gave a helpless shrug. "I know… it's just… Demi and Selena would be a perfect couple. Demi is nice. The nicest. Selena deserves that. Hasn't she mentioned Selena at all?"
Aside from thoughts about enjoying her company and being glad to see her, Demi had remained exceptionally neutral when Selena came up. I wasn't surprised. Since she had decided to give a date with Heidi a chance, she wouldn't disrespect her by thinking about another woman.
"Not really. I tend to know everything that's going on with my best friends because–" I halted, realizing I had never explained to Camila that I could read minds. It hadn't been intentional. Telling Camila I was a vampire and all the explanations that came with that revelation had been enough for her to cope with for the last couple days.
She looked at me expectantly. "Because?"
I braced myself for her reaction.
"You remember how I told you that some vampires have special talents that go beyond the added strength and heightened senses?"
She nodded, her confusion written all over her features. "Yeah…"
"Well, I have one. I would have told you… but I didn't want to overload you with information." I took a breath and forced myself to meet her eyes. "I can read minds."
All of the color dropped from Camila's cheeks. "You can read minds? As in you can hear what everyone is thinking?"
"Not everyone. I can't seem to get a read on you," I added, hoping she wouldn't notice how much that fact frustrated me. "Remember how you noticed that I sometimes respond to Dinah and Demi before they speak aloud? That's why…. they project words to me and I can hear them. I can hear – or see – anything they think about, but they use it as a means of communication. Mani's picked up that habit, too."
Camila sighed, tugging on a lock of her hair. "Just when I think I've grasped everything and come to terms, there's more. At least I'm exempt… some of things I've thought about you…" Her cheeks turned pink. "Well, let's just say you'd probably think less of me."
I stroked her cheek, glad to see her color return. "I'd never think less of you. I've never come across another person who I can't read. As if I needed more proof you're extraordinary."
Camila shrugged, an even darker red creeping up her neck. "I'm nothing special."
"If you ever become a vampire…" I kept my voice impartial, not wanting her to think I was trying to sway her, "that ability will probably manifest into something more concrete. Ari too… she can see the future."
Camila sputtered. "Ari can see the future? Are you kidding me?"
I shook my head. "It's really kind of amazing how unlikely it was that she would find us. Aro would die to get his hands on her."
I had explained about the leadership in our world and how the Volturi acted as a judicial system and law enforcement for our kind. Camila had been amazed by how ordered vampires were, and that we had to follow rules at all.
"Why would the Volturi care? She's only a baby."
"If she's able to see glimpses of the future now, imagine how much more powerful she'll be when she's older? It's possible she may be able to do more than just see the future… she might be able to manipulate it. That's something Aro would kill for. He's killed before, for the sake of collecting talent for his guard. He plucks the gifted from their covens and kills the remaining members if they won't lay silent."
Camila turned fearful eyes to mine. "Has he ever tried to collect you?"
I shook my head. "I'm sure he's considered it, but Demi is a dear friend of his. He respects Demi too much to risk destroying their friendship. He's also aware that Chelsea would be unable to sway my allegiance to him. Dinah and Demi aren't just coven mates to me; they're my family. Animal blood drinkers can form extremely powerful bonds; ones almost as powerful as mate bonds."
A crease formed in Camila's forehead, her voice carrying a note of hostility. "Chelsea?"
I smirked, recognizing the tone as jealousy. "She's a part of the guard. Her ability is relationship manipulation. She can strengthen or weaken the ties between people. The weaker the bond, the easier it is for her to alter. She can't affect mate bonds, nor strong bonds of love. They're impenetrable."
Camila nodded distractedly, her head probably still swimming with everything she had learned.
"So you're safe."
I nodded. "Most likely. My ability is very similar to Aro's – he can read every thought a person has ever had with a single touch – so I'm not a priority for him. The only benefit to my gift is that I can read the thoughts of everyone in a room at once, without needing to touch them. Ari, on the other hand, is something entirely new. Aro has no one else like her."
Camila cast me a disbelieving look. "She's only two. You said there are rules against changing kids, right?"
I nodded. "Aro wouldn't dare break his own laws. It could cause a revolt and jeopardize his rule. If there's anything he wouldn't be willing to risk, it's his power as our leader. He might approach her when she's older, though. He could offer her any number of things to join his guard."
"At least she'll be old enough to make her own decision, then," Camila pointed out.
"Technically, we'll be breaking the law once Ari grasps that we're vampires," I added. "Aro could decide to 'confiscate' her, if he discovers she exists. The only exceptions to the 'humans can't know vampires exist' rule are human mates. Human mates are effectively treated like vampires. If they tell anyone else, they're punished the same way a vampire would be."
Camila looked grim. "With death."
I nodded.
She offered a weak smile. "I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell anyone what you said to me, then."
I was surprised. "You didn't even tell Selena?"
I had fully expected that Camila would tell Selena and possibly Hailee and Ally. I reasoned that as long as none of them actually believed I was a vampire, she would be safe.
Camila shook her head. "To tell the truth, I was embarrassed. I didn't want to have to explain to everyone that you wanted away from me so badly that you'd made up a story about being a vampire. I said you broke up with me by making up some strange lies and left it at that."
I combed my fingers through her hair, meeting her eyes. There was an echo of past pain in them. I hated that she had ever thought I would treat her like that.
She shrugged it off, kissing me lightly. "I know the truth now; we're past that." She hastily changed the subject. "So, you said that human/vampire pairs are rare. Are there others?"
"You and I are the second pair currently in existence."
Camila's curiosity was piqued. "Who are the others?"
I met her curious eyes with serious ones. "Ellen Degeneres and her wife."
Camila's eyes grew large with shock. "Really?"
"No," I laughed.
"Very funny."
She swiped at my arm, but I grasped her wrist before she could give herself a bruise.
"My cousins Emma and Andrew," I answered honestly. "Andrew was the one who suggested that I let you figure out the truth on your own. When Emma told him, he didn't have a clue. They'd been dating a week."
Camila chuckled. "A week? Wow, that was pretty ballsy on her part."
"Love makes you do strange things, especially when it sneaks up on you. My cousins are kind of promiscuous. Having flings with human is normal for them. Emma was caught off guard when she realized she loved him."
"So she told him she was a vampire?" Camila laughed. "I guess I should consider myself lucky. You broke the news to me fairly gently, or Ari did…"
I had full empathy for Emma based on that experience.
"She didn't really have anyone to go to for guidance. Vampires who fall for humans almost always change them immediately, before the human becomes aware, so it's not an issue many vampires deal with. She must have done okay, because they've been together for half a decade. That's a long time when you consider that he ages while she doesn't."
"I don't think I want to be a vampire. At least not right now." Camila glanced up at me, clearly worried this proclamation would upset me.
I gave her a genuine smile. Whether she was a human or a vampire didn't matter to me. She would still be my Camila.
"That's your decision," I said firmly, wanting her to understand that I would never take the choice away from her. "I'll love you, regardless. The Volturi won't care as long as you don't tell anyone. A greater concern is that you aren't technically my mate yet."
Camila looked hurt. She tried to mask it, but it was apparent in the nervous hammering of her heart. "What do you mean? I thought you said you could only fall in love once? Are you saying that you don't–"
"No," I interrupted before she could entertain the thought that I would lie about something so important. I pulled her closer, engulfing her in a comforting embrace. "I'm yours for now and always. But until our relationship is consummated, the Volturi won't consider us an official mated pair. The mate bond solidifies after mated pairs are intimate. Marcus would know the difference. He sees bonds between people in detail that even Chelsea can't."
"You're waiting until marriage," Camila sighed.
She tucked her head under my chin, her face pressing to my chest. Her heartbeat had slowed to a more normal rate. It thumped steadily against the place where my own heart used to beat.
I kissed her head. "No, I'm not."
Her head jerked up, her eyes scorching into mine. "But you said…"
"I lied," I admitted, nervous that she would be upset. "I wasn't prepared to take that step until you understood what you were getting into and I couldn't risk you pushing. Now that you know…"
Camila's eyes widened, hope lacing coffee brown. "So…"
I kissed her. "I think we've waited long enough."
Camila fisted my shirt, her heartbeat speeding erratically as her eyes met mine, utterly serious. "You better not be kidding. If you start something, I'm going to expect you to finish it."
"No more holding back," I vowed. "It's not like I ever set out to frustrate you. It's just never been the right time."
Camila scooted so she was straddling my lap. "How about we make our right time happen right now?"
I pushed her back just far enough to meet her eyes. "Babe, do you really want our first time to be like this? On my couch, when Dinah and the kids could walk in the door any minute? She only took them out for ice cream."
Camila sighed, pouting. "Ugh, I hate it when you're rational. Why are you immune to getting caught up in the moment?"
I chuckled, kissing her gently. "I'm not. Being with you makes me feel like I'm perpetually caught up in a whirlwind I can't escape. You wouldn't believe me if I told you how wound up I am, constantly, because of you."
Camila pressed our foreheads together, a slow smile lighting up her face. "I love you."
I echoed the sentiment, unable to resist pressing my lips against the softness of hers.
Fate seemed determined to do everything in its power to keep us apart, because a moment later the familiar sound of a car engine roaring filled the air as Dinah's jeep turned into our driveway.
Camila leaned into me when I tried to pull away, prolonging our kiss for a few seconds.
"You hear Dinah, don't you?" she sighed when we separated, her tone grumpy but resigned. "Have I mentioned that I hate Dinah?"
I chuckled. "You don't hate her as much as I do."
I shifted in my seat, unsuccessfully trying to find a comfortable position once Camila slid off my lap. It was embarrassing how even the barest contact set my body aflame now that I was certain she was my mate. Her intoxicating scent still hung in the air and, even without contact, that was enough to keep whatever I had that mimicked hormones raging with the need to be closer.
Dinah burst in the door, happy, ice cream-smeared child in each arm.
"What's all this about hating me?" She was far too cheerful. Dinah scanned the scene before her, a knowing look overtaking her smug face. "Nevermind, got it… I can take the kids to the park if the two of you need 'a moment alone.'"
I rolled my eyes at her air quotes and sly grin.
Dinah tried to conceal her plans for the outing, but she wasn't quick enough. I saw a flash of her scheme to use Ari and Justin to drum up legendary amounts of sympathy with the single-mother crowd.
"Not a chance," I countered, making Dinah curse in her head.
"I'm not sure why we trusted you to take them to get ice cream," I sighed.
"Maybe because you wanted to be left alone to do naughty things on the couch?"
"Isweam!" Ari announced.
Camila smiled at the kids, ignoring Dinah's unwanted speculation. "Did you two enjoy your ice cream?"
"Isweam," Ari agreed.
Though Justin remained silent, the smears of blue and pink on his smiling cheeks didn't lie.
"They both had cotton candy ice cream," Dinah explained, "so they should be full up on their sugar intake for the day. I'll watch 'em, though, so you guys can do… whatever."
"The moment's gone," Camila said with a sigh, reaching to take Justin from my best friend.
I couldn't agree more. There was no way I would be able to do anything knowing Dinah was in the next room. I was determined that my first time with Camila would be ours alone. That wouldn't happen if my best friend was anywhere in the vicinity.
"So you and Camila are getting serious, huh?" Dinah asked me later that night, after Camila had left with Justin and we'd finished putting Ari to bed. Demi was still at the hospital. She'd been working a lot lately. I wasn't sure if she was avoiding us, or spending more time with Heidi.
It was the first night since I'd reunited with Camila that I would be spending away from her. I was surprised by how panicked the thought of not being by her side made me. I knew she would, more likely than not, be safe. That didn't alleviate my lingering doubts. I explained how I was feeling to my best friend.
Dinah was uncharacteristically serious. "That's normal. It's difficult to be apart from a mate, no matter the circumstances. Even more so when your mate is human, I'd imagine. I wish I could help more, but this is something you probably know more about than I do," she admitted.
I shrugged. "I think I'm handling it alright."
Dinah nodded encouragingly. "You're doing great. Humans aren't like us. They need to have their space sometimes. You're giving Camila exactly what she needs. You're balancing her needs with yours perfectly." She clapped me on the back with a proud smile. "I always knew you'd make someone a good mate."
I ducked my head, unused to hearing praise from my best friend. Sure, I knew that she love me, but our affection for one another was usually expressed in the form of humor and teasing.
"She wants to have sex," I admitted carefully, certain I would burst into flames any minute from the humiliation of asking my promiscuous best friend for advice.
There was no denying that I needed guidance on what to expect and how to handle the situation, especially given that the girl I was planning on having sex with was human. That didn't make it any less mortifying to ask for Dinah's help.
"You're asking me for advice?" My best friend's grin was humongous; you'd have thought I'd offered her my kidney, not a chance to pass on her worldly knowledge.
I nodded, not wanting to inflate her ego any more than necessary.
Dinah pretended to wipe away a tear. "I dreamed this moment would come. I'm so proud of you, my wittle Lauren."
I remained silent, too aware of what a huge step I was considering to rise to her bait. Dinah seemed to realize I wasn't interested in banter, because she was quick to resume her more serious persona.
"You're really in love with her, aren't you?"
I nodded again. If there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I love Camila Cabello.
"You know that if you have sex with her it'll make it official, right? She'll be your mate forever. No takebacks. No returns. No exchanges. She's all you get, forever. You'll never look at another person again."
I scoffed. "You make it sound so romantic. You don't seem to realize that I don't want anyone else. Camila is already my mate. I love her. I can't imagine anything will change how I feel about her."
"And that's where you're wrong," Dinah grinned. "Having sex with the girl you love for the first time will be unlike anything you've ever experienced. It'll make your heart feel ready to explode with love. Sex is intense for us… but doing it with someone you're in love with? There's nothing comparable."
"How would you know?"
Dinah shrugged. "I've talked to vampires who've mated. The common consensus is that sex is otherworldly when it's with your mate. I'm not trying to freak you out, but you need to be prepared for something more intense than anything you've ever felt before. And since you've never had sex before…"
Dinah was confirming all my fears. More than anything, I was concerned I'd get lost in the new, heightened sensations and risk hurting the person I cared about most in the world. Intentional or not, that would be unacceptable.
"I don't want my inexperience to ruin it for her."
Dinah grinned at me. "She's not a virgin, right? The worst of it is over for her so don't worry about that. As long as you take your time and pay attention, you'll be fine. I can guarantee she'll help you figure out what she likes."
I inhaled shakily. "I know that. I just don't want to hurt her… with my strength."
To my great chagrin, Dinah chuckled. "If she's your mate, you won't be able to hurt her."
"She is my mate," I insisted, upset by her use of the word "if." There were no ifs about it. Camila was my mate.
Dinah smiled at my adamancy. "Then your worry is wasted. You won't hurt her. The mate bond won't let you. Not to say that it won't take some adjustment… I remember my first time as a vampire. It was intense. It took a little while to find my groove. You'll figure it out."
"That's what I'm afraid of," I admitted in a whisper. "I don't have time to figure things out. If I don't know what I'm doing, I could kill her with an errant touch."
Dinah patted my back. "Your first time will be different. I didn't share mine with a mate. You'll have that feeling of your soul making a connection with hers. Hurting her will be the furthest thing from your mind, trust me. You'll just innately know you could never hurt her. You'll understand what I mean when it happens."
I sighed. For all her explaining, I still felt clueless. Was it really possible to feel that deeply connected to someone? I couldn't imagine feeling more tied to Camila than I already did.
"I hope you're right."
"I am," she proclaimed.
There was a beat of silence that lingered a moment too long.
"I'm kind of jealous of you," my best friend admitted, her expression bashful.
I peered at her, flabbergasted. That wasn't the Dinah I knew. "You're jealous of me? I thought you didn't want to be tied down?"
Dinah shrugged, her eyes downcast. "I used to think that… but seeing the way you and Camila are with one another… I'm wondering if maybe it wouldn't be so bad."
I snorted, amused by her sudden timidity. "Wouldn't be so bad?"
Dinah shot me a look. "You know what I mean."
I did. And that was why I couldn't tease her about it, as much as I wanted to. Falling in love was tricky business when you were a vampire.
"What about Mani?" I suggested.
"What about her?" Dinah's gold gaze burned into mine. Though she was pretending not to know what I meant, she knew exactly what I was implying.
"Would you consider her for your mate?"
Dinah sputtered. "Normani? I – I mean, she's awesome. She's pretty… I mean, holy mother of god is the woman hot… and she's – she's the sexy kind of smart, you know? But I – I don't know if she would consider me for her mate."
I burst into a full-out belly laugh. Never in my life had I heard my best friend stumble over herself to describe a girl.
"You like her!"
Dinah grit her teeth. "So what? I like lots of people! I like you. Or I used to."
"It wasn't too long ago you were accusing me of liking Camila because I said she was pretty. What was it that you just called Mani? Oh yes, I think it was… pretty." I relished the opportunity to get in one jab at her expense.
"That doesn't mean anything," Dinah declared, though she wasn't so sure herself. "We're sleeping together. Of course I like her… I don't love her. I don't."
"But you could," I pointed out cheerfully, pleased to have discovered a topic that flustered my best friend to the point of incoherency.
"Can we stop talking about this?" she pleaded.
That tone sucked all of the humor out of the air. I couldn't bear to tease her when she looked so desperate. I sobered instantly.
"Dinah, you're considering her as a potential mate. I can see you're thinking about it. Hiding it from me won't make it less true. If you want her, at least admit it. If I know Mani at all, she's not gonna want a mate who's anything less than sure of herself, and of her."
"Okay," she grumbled. "I've considered it, alright? I've never been with anyone like her."
I grinned. "That's more like it."
"But she might not want me in that way." Dinah looked more vulnerable than I'd ever seen her. "She's independent and headstrong. Once she's decided something she won't change her mind come hell or high water. What if she decides she doesn't want me?"
I shrugged, unable to hide my smile. "Then be prepared to fight for what you want."