Y/n's POV
I got up and changed into:
Stan: "In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless." Soos: "Question. Is it bottomless?" Stan: *Sighs* "Kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?" Y/n: "Without a bottom. With food it simply means 'unlimited' or 'boundless' - you can have as much food or drink as you like for the same price. Nowadays a lot of restaurants do this to attract customers, but the 'bottomless' only applies to soft drinks" Dipper: "Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?" Stan: "To dispose of things that we don't want. So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!" *Throws some cards down into the pit* Mabel: "Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon! *Throws letters and gifts away* Die! Die!" Y/n: "Mabel wait! Do you really want to throw away all that free chocolate?" Mabel: "Good point." Y/n: "Imma just throw away these files." Soos: *Takes off his shoes and throws them in the pit* Dipper: "What are you doing?" Soos: "Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it." He grabs and throws a barbecue grill down the pit. Mabel: *Pushing a large chained box toward the pit* Stan: "What you got there, Mabel?" Y/n: "Are those the teeth~"Mabel: "Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about. *Giggles and pushes the box down the pit* Goodbye forever!" Dipper: "Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?" Y/n: "DIPPER PAY ATTENTION! It means 'unlimited' or 'boundless' - you can have as much food or drink as you like for the same price. Nowadays a lot of restaurants do this to attract customers, but the 'bottomless' only applies to soft drinks" Stan: *Shaking cards out of his fez down the pit* "Says you." Mabel: "Well, I guess we'll never know." The wind starts blowing. Soos: "Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!" Nathan: "It's wind, Soos." Dipper: "Quick! Everyone back to the shack!" Stan: "I'm not done getting rid of these yet!" *Tries throwing more cards into the bottomless pit but the wind blows them into his face* Mabel: "Grunkle Stan! No!" Stan: *While everyone pulls him away from the pit* "Almost... Almost... Almost!" All: *Fall into the pit; scream*Gompers *Bleats*
Mabel screams. Dipper screams. Soos screams. Stan screams. Nathan and Y/n are falling parallel to each other with their eyes narrowed and straight faces. Nathan: "Great." Y/n: "We totally didn't have plans today." Soos: "So, anyone, want to scream some more?" Dipper: "Where are we?" Mabel: *Lights a glow stick* "We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere." Mabel hangs the glowstick on her arm and giggles. Y/n starts playing on her phone. Nathan swims over. Nathan: "Put on a movie." Dipper: "We're gonna land on something eventually. It could be any second now." Everyone braces for a landing but nothing happens. Stan: "Well... it looks like we're down here for the long haul. Who wants to see some card tricks?" *Takes out cards, which fly up and away* "Tada!" Mabel: *Claps* Soos: "Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories." Dipper: "I've got a story. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we spent the rest of our NATURAL LIVES!" Soos: "Go on..." Y/n: "Fine! I'll tell the story of the Binding of Fenrir. The Norse pseudo-god Loki, who is by turns the friend and the enemy of the other gods, had three fearfully hideous and strong children with the giantess Angrboda ("She Who Bodes Anguish"). The first was the serpent Jormungand, and the second was the death-goddess Hel. The third was the wolf Fenrir. The gods had terrible forebodings concerning the fate of these three beings. And they were absolutely correct. Jormungand would later kill the god Thor during Ragnarok, the downfall of the cosmos, an event which would be largely brought about by Hel's refusal to release the radiant god Baldur from the underworld. During these cataclysmic events, Fenrir would devour Odin, the chief of the gods. In order to keep these monsters at bay, they threw Jormungand into the ocean, where he encircled Midgard, the world of humankind. Hel they were relegated to the underworld. Fenrir, however, inspired too much fear in them for them to let him out from under their watchful eyes, so they reared the pup themselves in their stronghold, Asgard. Only Tyr, the indefatigable upholder of law and honor, dared to approach Fenrir to feed him. Fenrir grew at an alarming rate, however, and soon the gods decided that his stay in Asgard had to be temporary. Knowing well how much devastation he would cause if he were allowed to roam free, the gods attempted to bind him with various chains. They were able to gain the wolf's consent by telling him that these fetters were tests of his strength, and clapping and cheering when, with each new chain they presented him, he broke free. At last, the gods sent a messenger down to Svartalfheim, the realm of the dwarves. The dwarves, being the most skilled craftspeople in the cosmos, were able to forge a chain whose strength couldn't be equaled; it was wrought from the sound of a cat's footsteps, the beard of a woman, the roots of mountains, the breath of a fish, and the spittle of a bird – in other words, things which don't exist, and against which it's therefore futile to struggle. Gleipnir ("Open") was its name. When the gods presented Fenrir with the curiously light and supple Gleipnir, the wolf suspected trickery and refused to be bound with it unless one of the gods would lay his or her hand in his jaws as a pledge of good faith. None of the gods agreed, knowing that this would mean the loss of a hand and the breaking of an oath. At last, the brave Tyr, for the good of all life, volunteered to fulfill the wolf's demand. And, sure enough, when Fenrir discovered that he was unable to escape from Gleipnir, he chomped off and swallowed Tyr's hand. The fettered beast was then transported to some suitably lonely and desolate place. The chain was tied to a boulder and a sword was placed in the wolf's jaws to hold them open. As he howled wildly and ceaselessly, a foamy river called "Expectation" (Old Norse Ván) flowed from his drooling mouth. And there, in that sordid state, he remained – until Ragnarok." Nathan: "Wow, how did you remember that?" Mabel: "Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that." Dipper: "Fine. *Takes the glow stick* I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call 'Voice Over.'" *Title card appears; Mabel, Wendy, Soos are on the lawn with Waddles.* Mabel: "Ready?" Mabel, Wendy Corduroy, and Soos Spin the Pig! *Spin Waddles until he stops, pointing at Stan* Mabel: "Hey! Grunkle Stan. Ever kissed a pig before?" Stan: "I'm not gonna answer that question." Y/n: "Sounds like you have~" Dipper: *Runs up* "Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! I need you to get me to a hospital quick!" Stan: *Laughs* Y/n: "Only a snake." Dipper: "What? What's so funny?" Stan: "Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there." Dipper: "My what?" Mabel: "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is *Imitating Dipper:* hillaaarrious!" Dipper: "Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!" Soos: "Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it." *Plays the tape* Remix: *Dipper's voice:* "Nice to meet you. My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines Nice to meet you P-p-pines, Pines, Pines" Dipper: "Do I really sound like that?" Wendy: "Oh, here comes my favorite part!" Remix: "Stop it, guys!" Mabel, Stan, Soos and Wendy: *Laugh* Dipper: "Give me that!" *Grabs the tape from Soos and leaves*Mabel, Soos, and Wendy: "Spin the Pig!" Dipper: *Sighs* "Even my sigh sounds weird." Old Man McGucket: *Pops out of a hole* "Hello there!" Dipper: *Screams* McGucket: "I couldn't help but overhear your situation. Old Man McGucket, *spits on his hand* part-time inventor." Dipper: "Why do you spit on your hand?" McGucket: "I don't rightly know." Dipper: 'Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me!" McGucket: *Pulls Dipper into an alley* "Come here! Follow me into this dark and dangerous alley. *Pouring a potion into a cup* Lately, I've been tickerizing with a voice-altering tonic. On account of my *screaming:* Horrrrifyin' voice!" Kid: *Cries and runs away* McGucket: "You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!" Dipper: "This will really fix my voice? Thanks!" *Drinks it and leaves* McGucket: "Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man... If you survive." Dipper: *Cut to him waking up in the morning, yawns, with a deeper voice:* "Good morning Dipper. I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a neeew voice! Ha ha ha! *Runs to Mabel's bed* Morning Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?" Mabel: *Screams; hits Dipper with a golf club* "Who are you?! What have you done with my brother!? Dipper! I'll save you from this body switching warlock!" Dipper: "Mabel, it's me. This is my voice now. I sound awesome. Soouund aaawesome." Mabel: "I know boys' voices change, but this is weird. Weird and bad." Dipper: "But Mabel, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And just think of the prank calls." *Dials a number* Tats: *Over phone:* "Hello?" Dipper: "Hello, this is the President of the United States of America. I am calling to tell you... *makes spitting noises* Tats: *Over phone:* "What? Who is this?!" Dipper: *Hangs up and laughs* "Magnificent!" Mabel: "Mabel no like." Dipper: *Walks up to Soos in the gift shop* "How are you diddly-doing, Soos?" Soos: *Grabs a broom and hits Dipper* "Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!" Dipper: "What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one." Soos: "Well, at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some weird commercial dude.Dipper I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages!.. I mean... goodbye. *Goes outside and downtown* Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?" *Walks by Skull Fracture* Tats: "Huh? I know that voice anywhere! You're that guy that prank-called me earlier!" Dipper: "No I'm not. I'm a 12-year-old boy." Tats: "You expect me to believe that? You crazy-voiced punk!" Y/n: "Hey Tat's." *Tries to go in bar* Tats: "You can't go in there." Y/n: "Common." Tats: "No alcohol." (Y/n): "Thanks." *Runs in and Orders a Sunday Special* Bartender: "Sure." *Grabs a wine glass and fills it with a pint of ice cream. ½ a glass of whip cream. Chocolate syrup on the ice cream crumbles of a cookie, and sprinkles. The finally adds a cherry on top.* Y/n pays for drink and glass and leaves. Dipper: "Wait! No!" *Screams and runs away* Tats: *Walks into a bar* "There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!" Y/n: "Let's go!" Dipper: *Everyone in the bar running after him; Jumps into a hole* "Escape!" *Runs to where old man McGucket is* "McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!" McGucket: "That's probably why I live in a dump!" *Dances*Dipper: "My own sisters didn't recognize me. I scared away crowds. *Sobs* I even sound ridiculous when I cry." McGucket: "Well, now. Here's your problem. I gave you the wrong drinking majiggy. This ones for voice-over professionals. I'm sure I got a better voice in here somewhere." *Digs through car trunk* Dipper: "Good! Hurry up!" McGucket: "You got here just in time. Come sundown, you'd be back to your ridiculous old voice." Dipper: "It was ridiculous, wasn't it?" *Plays the tape* Remix: *Dipper's voice:* "D-D-Dipper Pines. That's me! *Mabel's voice:* This remix is dedicated to my brother. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind. *Soos' voice:* Dude, I've never heard anything like it. R-r-remix over!" *Soos makes explosion noise* McGucket: "Are you ready for your new voice? This one should be permanent!" *gives Dipper a new potion* Dipper: *Looks back and forth between the vial and the tape; holds vial up to his mouth about to drink it, scene cuts to the Shack; in normal voice:* "Hey guys." Mabel: "Dipper!" Soos: "Dude, you're back!" Dipper: "I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial." Mabel: "So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?" Dipper: "I dumped it in Stan's coffee." Stan: *Walks in; in a female voice:* "Have any of you kids seen mah girdle? Where mah girdle at?" Y/n: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Dipper, Mabel, and Soos: *Laugh* Stan: "What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stay-an! Kids laughing. Laughing at their Grunkle."
~Cuts back to real time~
Mabel: "I spy with my little eye something that is... Black!" Soos: "Ooh ooh! Everything!" Mabel: "Yay for Soos!" *Claps* Y/n: "NOOOOOO!" Nathan: "Calm down." y/n: "No, he got hit by a car." Dipper: "What are you two doing?" Y/n: "Wait can't we just teleport out of here?" Nathan: "Sure but I wanna hear the rest of these stories." Y/n: "Why don't you tell a story~" Soos: "Yay for Soos!" Mabel: "Hey guys, who want to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!" Dipper: "No." Mabel: *Spinning Dipper* "Yaay!" Dipper: "Woooah!" Soos: *Chuckling* Mabel: *Running on top of Dipper* "Weeee!" Dipper: "Ow, ow, ow, ow." Stan: "Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story." Soos: "Really? Okay. *Dipper screams as he spins and floats in the background* This story is called "Soos' a really good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?" *Title card appears. Cut to Soos, Dipper, and Mabel in the pinball room. Soos is playing pinball.* Dipper and Mabel: "Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!" Soos: "This is it, dudes. After 4 long years of trying, I might finally get a high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. If I do this, I'll go down in pinball history, with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and of course, Poo." Dipper: "Have you ever tried tilting the machine?" Soos: "I don't know, dudes, isn't breaking the rules like, against the rules?" Mabel: "Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!" Soos: *Loses* Pinball Machine: "Failure! You stink!" Soos: "All right, that's it! Are you ready, kids?" Mabel and Dipper: *Tilting the machine* "Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!" Pinball Machine: "Quit tiltin', partner. Quit tiltin'!" Soos: "Tilt!" *tilts the ball into the goal* Pinball Machine: "Bulls-eye! New high score!" Mabel, Dipper and Soos: *Cheering* Soos: "This is the best moment of my life. This totally beats my old best moment." *Flashback to Soos pressing the eject button on a VHS player and a piece of pizza comes out. Soos picks up the pizza and prepares to eat it. Cut back to the present.* Pinball Machine: "That ain't right. You cheated." Mabel: "Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do about it? You're just a Pinball game, a Pinball game. Taunt, taunt." Dipper: "Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game." Soos: "No, that's the normal amount of green lightning." Lightning strikes them. Cut to Soos wearing cowboy clothes in the pinball game.Soos: *Lying down and hitting a buzzer* "Uh, 5 more minutes. *gets up* Ah! That's not a normal alarm clock." Dipper: *Runs up with Mabel; they are also wearing old West-themed clothes* "Soos! We're inside the game! Crazy!" Mabel: "Sweet Moses!" Soos: "Hushed exclamation of wonder!" Dipper: "Awesome!" Mabel: *Jumping around on the buzzers* "Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!" Soos: "Dude, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!" Pinball Machine: "That can be arranged. Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, partners." Soos: "Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me on getting my new score? I beat Poo, dude!"Pinball Machine: "Pardon, and if'n I do recall, I did warn y'all not to cheat. I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted. So, now I reckon, I'm gonna tilt you." Soos: "Well, take this! *Hits a button but hits himself in the eye* Ow! And this! *Punches himself again* Ow! It hurts. I wish this was working better. And this! Aw, dude!" *Knocks himself out* Mabel and Dipper: "Soos!" Pinball Machine: *Laughs* "Get yourselves ready for the..." Dipper: "Multi-Ball!" Soos: "Multi-Ball!" Mabel: "Multi-Ball! Pinball Machine: "Ha ha ha ha ha!" Dipper: "Over there!" Dipper, Mabel, and Soos run behind a wall. Pinball Machine: "Where are you? I'm not done teaching you a lesson about cheating yet." Dipper: "How are we gonna get out of here? Think, guys." Soos: "I'm trying. But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me. *Waves at a cutout of a woman* Okay. Don't worry, guys, I know every inch of this machine. There's a manual power switch inside. I can sneak in there and turn off the game. But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?" Mabel: *Hair blowing in wind* "My time has come." Dipper: "Alright, let's go, Soos. Soos?" Soos: *To the pinball wench:* "So are you, like, doing anything later?" Dipper: *Kicks the wench* Soos: "Oh, right." Pinball Machine: "Come on out and show yourselves, varmints."Mabel: *Jumps up on a buzzer* "Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me and listen to what I'm doing! BUZZZZZZ! DISTRACTION! DISTRACTION! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!" Dipper: *Sings* Pinball Machine: "Something ain't right here. Let me see where this is going." Soos: *Gets in a cart, rolls down behind the pinball machine* Pinball Machine: "Ha hahaha. Yippy ti yi what? Where are ya? *Tries to turn* Darnit, I wish I had a neck." Dipper: "Soos, pssssst. What's going on? Just press the switch already!" Soos: "Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking. According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently. That score is like my one big life accomplishment." Dipper: "What? If you don't hurry up, we could die here!" Soos: "Fair point. But, what is life anyway when compared to the immortality of a high score?" Dipper: "Soos, are you out of your--!" Pinball Machine: "There y'all are. Get ready to meet your maker, kids. My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington." *inhales* Dipper and Mabel: *Being sucked toward the cowboy skull* "Woooooaah!" Dipper: "Soos!" Mabel: "Soos, please!" Dipper: "Turn it off!" Soos: "Uhhh Uhh. Goodbye, high score. *Pushes the button and the pinball game turns off. He and the twins wake up outside of the game* Woah! You dudes okay?"Mabel: "Yes! You did it! You freed us!" Dipper: "Hey man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score." Soos: "That's Okay. I've got a new life accomplishment now. Saving you dudes." Dipper and Mabel: "Awwwww." Soos: "You think that pinball wench will call me?"~Cut back to the present.~Stan: "I can't believe this nonsense. Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? Where did you come up with this stuff? I'll tell you a good story. It's called 'Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl'." ~Cut to a football stadium. Stan makes a touchdown and dances.~Football player: "Mr. Pines, I thought those old folks were useless, but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson." Beautiful Woman: *Arriving in a gigantic trophy* "Here is your football-winning trophy, Mr. Pines." Stan: "Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, Footbot." Footbot: "Thank you for building me, Daddy!" Stan and football players laugh as fireworks go off. Footbot: "I love you, Stan."
~Cut back to the present.~
Soos, Dipper, and Mabel: "Boooooo!" Y/n snuggles into Nathan's side while sleeping. Nathan: "Shhhh. Y/n's sleeping." Stan: "What? That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids." Mabel: "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. A story called 'Trooth Ache!'" ~title card appears. Dipper, Mabel, and Stan are in the driveway while Manly Dan ties up a bear.~ Stan: "This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition." Bear: *Roars* Manly Dan: "No, Noo!" *wrestles the bear* Mabel: "Aaaaawww. They're hugging." Dipper: "So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach a bear to ride a bicycle?" Stan: "No. Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear... to drive! *Cut to Stan's car driving crazily on the road. The bear is driving, Stan is in the passenger seat, and Dipper and Mabel are in the back seat.* And the yellow light means speed up. *Hears cops' siren noise* Uh oh." Blubs and Durland: *stops Stan's car* Stan: "What seems to be the problem, officers?" Sheriff Blubs: "There better be a darn good explanation for this." Stan: "Oh, there is. You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And the doctors assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency." Sheriff Blubs: "Is that right? Then, where is your doctor's note?" Stan: "Why, it's right here, inside my jacket. *writes a note inside his jacket quickly* There you go." *gives them the note, which says "Stan is sick and needs a bear. -Dr. Medicine"* Sheriff Blubs: "Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine." Stan: "To the hospital, Honeypants!" Bear: *roars and drives away*~Cuts to later in the Mystery Shack. Stan is painting rocks under a sign titled "Real Gold!" Mabel walks up to him.~ Mabel: "Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong?" Stan: "Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good." *eats spaghetti* Dipper: *comes in* "Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?" Stan: *hides spaghetti behind him while turning around to Dipper* "No... But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat." Dipper: "This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan." *runs off* Stan: "See? Greater good." Mabel: "Aaaaah!"
~Cuts to Mabel lying on her bed with Waddles~
Mabel: "Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan?" *As Waddles:* "He needs to stop lying." *Regular voice:* "I know, but how do we stop him?" *As Waddles:* "Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink Oink." *Regular voice:* "Say oink one more time." *As Waddles:* "Oink Oink." *Regular voice:* "Waddles, you genius!" *Open the journal; reading aloud:* "Buried 'neath a trees stump in the deep forest are the truth teeth, which forces upon the wearer the inability to lie." Hmmm. ~Cut to Stan sleeping at night. Mabel puts the truth teeth in his mouth and wakes him up~Stan: "What? What's going on? Huh? Mabel?" Mabel: "Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?" Stan: "I ate it because I have little to no concern about other people's possessions or emotions. *Realizes what he just said* That was strangely candid. Almost as if I am unable to lie. Well, good night." *Goes to sleep*
~Cut to that morning. Mabel is whispering in Dipper's ear.~
Dipper: "You what? That seems like a horrible idea!" Mabel: "It's great! Now he has to tell the truth." Y/n: "You do realize that is how we even have a roof over our heads." Dipper: "Hmmm." Stan: *Gives them plates* "Scrambled meat, here it is." Dipper: "Stan, what do you do in secret every day during your lunch break?" Stan: "Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention. Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands." *Leaves* y/n slides plate to Gompers. Dipper and Mabel: "Eeeeeeewww!" Dipper: "Well, that was disturbing." Mabel: "Don't worry, Dipper. The truth is always a good thing." *Cut to Stan in the gift shop* Unnamed man: *to Stan:* "Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?" Stan: "Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!" Mabel: *leads man away* "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." *Cut to Stan doing taxes* Stan: "Doing my taxes."Dipper: *looks at one of the papers, which has "I HAVE COMMITTED TAX FRAUD" on it* "Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?" Stan: "Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud." Dipper: "You might wanna... tuck that one away there." *shreds paper* Dipper, Mabel, and Stan are watching TV, where a man on a unicycle is juggling. Dipper and Mabel: "Hahahahaha!" Stan: "Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?" Y/n: "MABEL IMMA LOCK YOU INTO A CLOSET UNTIL YOU REALIZE HOW BAD OF AN IDEA THIS IS!" Nathan: "Umm." Mabel: *Rocks back and forth* Dipper: *Shivers*
~Cut to later~
Stan: *Yelling up to Dipper and Mabel, who are in their room:* "Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys." Dipper: "I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth." Mabel: "But then he'll be a liar again." Dipper: "Could it possibly be any worse than this?" The doorbell rings. Dipper, (Y/n), Nathan, and Mabel run downstairs, where Stan is standing in the doorway with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Sheriff Blubs: "So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls." Deputy Durland: "You better have a darn good explanation for this." Stan: "Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you. In addition, I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat." Sheriff Blubs: *Drops his coffee* "Is all of this true?" Dipper: "No! No, it's not true. Right, Mabel, Y/n?" Y/n: "Officers have you lost weight? Bulbs: "Why thank you, Miss." Mabel: "Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is...is...Stan is.. secretly a crime fiction writer!" Sheriff Blubs: "What?" Mabel: "Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page-turner, Crime Grandpa! He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?" Sheriff Blubs: "Finally! Someone noticed." Deputy Durland: "Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?" Stan: "What? Author?" Mabel: "Haha, writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers." *Close the door and sighs* Dipper: "Hey, you alright?" Mabel: "I can't believe I lied." Dipper: "Mabel, it was for the greater good." Mabel: "Yeah, the greater good." Stan: *On phone:* "Hello? Police station? I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud." Dipper and Mabel: *Tackle him* Stan: "What's gotten into you kids?" Mabel: *Pulls out the teeth* "We have to find a place to get rid of these! *Cut to Mabel throwing out the box into the bottomless pit at the beginning of the episode.
~In the present~
And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again. *Sees the box next to Stan* Oh wait, there it is." Soos, Dipper & Stan: *sighs* Soos: "Oh, sweet! My shoes!" *Puts his shoes back on* Stan: "I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched." Dipper: "Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it." Soos: "If we're living through that story right now, then how does it end? Dipper Guys, do you see that?" They are approaching some light. Soos: "What is that?" Dipper: "Oh no!' Mabel: "Where are we going? Stan: "Not good!" Y/n: "Finally!" All: *Scream as they fall out of the pit and onto the spot they fell from* Stan: "Where... where are we?" Mabel: *gasps* "Look! The Shack! Which means... we came right back out the top." Dipper: "And I don't think any time has passed. It must be some kind of wormhole." Soos: "Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true." Stan: "But that's impossible. No one will believe us." Mabel: "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves." All: "Agreed." Stan: *Leans on the sign, which breaks, and he falls into the hole* Mabel: "He'll be fine"