IZZY POV
There was a difference between being late and just being ghosted. Axl was always late but now there was ten minutes before the show and it was very clear he was not coming.
Son of a bitch.
Walking into the venue I looked around, a decent crowd for a local band. It wasn't just about giving kids a chance by having a small opening act tour with us but it was also about getting people that might like their music to come and try our music. Even though we were bigger and more well known, sometimes these local bands had good sway in the local scenes and it was a beneficial relationship.
These guys had unfortunately come up with a polarizing name of Bleached Anus. I get it, the whole punk thing. But that was why Duff was supposed to come to this show instead of me. His girl had gotten sick with some stomach bug and he was playing heroic golden boy boyfriend and taking care of her. And I'm a sucker so I got stuck meeting Axl, who we all figured wouldn't show up anyway, to go see this band.
I tucked away in the corner of the bar, ordering a beer and pulling an ashtray closer as I scanned the crowd for something interesting.
Everyone was younger here, under 18 allowed in the crowd made for a lot of teenage kids who went to high school locally, crowd into the less than stellar venue. Mixed in with freshman and sophomores from the local colleges and it made for an abnormal scene to say the least.
I warned myself to keep my eyes to myself and the stage; underage kids could only mean trouble and I didn't need any of that.
"Hey, can I have a beer, Meg?" A warm, soft voice had my eyes flickering closer to me. "And did the band start a tab I can close out?" The sweet female voice was accompanied by a sweet person. The way she flicked her hair over shoulder gave me a better look at her profile
Shit. I broke my rule.
Half leaning over the bar, wearing a man's flannel shirt over a black dress and beat up Chuck Taylors was my girl. Look at the way her long leg still stood on a tip toe, one knee bent as she brought her leg up behind her and rolled her ankle, probably tired from working some job that she was on her feet all day. She was maybe an inch shorter than me, tall and built with the curves in magazines with flesh for me to grab in all the places I was salivating to touch.
My girl? Jesus fucking Christ. Why am I like this?
This need for her. This desire for her washed over me in a strong wave. It was intoxicating and like it was just us in this entire shithole place.
Time seemed to slow down as some song played from the speakers....
I don't know you, but I want you, All the more for that....
Who was this girl?
Why was I obsessed with the way she smiled around the bottle opening as she talked to the bartender like an old friend? The way she licked the corner of her pretty lips to taste the beer that tried to hide there. Her fingers, nails painted a burgundy with the thumb slightly chipped tucking her long dark hair behind an ear, her pointer finger playing with the dangling silver earring absentmindedly.
And when she turned, feeling the weight of my stare, that's when everything in the world stopped.
The music cut off and it was just my blood rushing from my body as I saw her head on.
High cheekbones on her summer tanned skin that seemed to be kissed by the moon. Bright and sweet but her eyes stopped me. Pools of molasses, deep and dark, swirling on her sweet face with some look of fear, like she was a doe in the headlights of my stare. But she blinked, soft feathers of eyelashes kissing her cheeks before focusing on me again with a golden flash of recognition.
I sat up, waiting like a lion to have their prey come to them but she looked away from me, the noise of the venue exploding around me and bringing me back with a pop to reality.
"I need to go see Jay backstage." She was leaning towards the bartender but her eyes were creeping to look at me as she spoke in loud whispers.
Sitting back and smoking my cigarette, I had to wipe wet palms against my pants; something about this nameless girl was getting right under my skin. Such a primal need to claim her. She must be a band manager, a bit young for the job but she knew the people who worked here and how she looked at me and instead of coming over to ask for an autograph she ran off to tell the band who was here so they could make sure their performance was spot on.
Fuck. I wish she had stayed at the bar; I was planning on watching her more than I was planning on watching the show.
Aya POV
Izzy fucking Stradlin was sitting at the bar about to watch the show.
My heart was in my throat as I rolled around people rushing backstage as I tried to find the band before they went on stage and did their usual dumb tricks. They had to know that tonight mattered more than the 100 dollars they'd split between the four of them.
Finally I found them all, sitting in a room together looking more high and drunk than ready to play the biggest show of their club circuit scene.
"What are you doing back here, Aya? You know better than to bother me before a show? Did you need to know if it was okay to close the tab?" Jay, my boyfriend and also lead singer and bass player for Bleached Anus spoke to me in his usual tone.
We had been together since high school. Five years of my 19 year old life were spent loving him. For our gap year we had rented a shitty flat we shared with another couple in the rundown part of LA. This was the year we were putting everything into him making music. I planned on going to school soon. I had to sign up tomorrow for my classes. The deposit was already sent off and my turn for my dreams to come true was coming up now.
"Izzy Stradlin from Guns N Roses is at the bar." I watched the way they all looked at me, not seeming to realize what that could mean for them.
Jay got up, picking up what looked like a new bass, as he moved to peak out into the crowd. He acted like I had no idea who the band was when I very clearly knew them. The way he turned, shock on his face made them all panic realizing I had been right about the guitarist.
It was pandamonium for them after that and a clear line was set as the feeling I wasn't wanted was made clear to me, so I stepped away, my nails that I had just painted last night already being chipped away by my fidgeting fingers and gnawing teeth.
So much of my time was wasted on the band. Jay loved his band. Dreams of being a rockstar and people hearing the songs he sang as he jammed on his bass. A mix of the new grunge and old sleaze rock, Jay was an okay bassist and a decent singer. He'd have done better as a backup singer in a band but he couldn't deal with not having all the attention for himself. And for some reason I had always been with him
When we fell in love we were fourteen, making out under the west staircase, letting him touch me over my t-shirt. At fifteen we had started eating dinner at each other's houses, letting our parents start to see that we were in love. My parents let me make all my mistakes, gently reminders and guiding which way might be best. Jay was not their first choice. But at least they were kind to him and didn't let him know they weren't comfortable with the relationship. His mother made it very clear from the start that she didn't think I was good enough for her son. She didn't care that he never worked or that he had a mean streak in him that left people shaking from verbal assault or bruised from the way his fingers gripped places he should have been caressing.
But Jay and I were going to get married when he made it big.
He loved me and wanted me. I knew that he was stressed right now because we had kind of given a lot for this year. It was hard for him knowing I was going to go to school and that I had dreams of my own that I was going to pursue them.
"We're going on. Stay here." Jay was pushing past me and moving onto the stage, making me turn, holding my breath as I watched him, hoping that they nailed this show. My eyes scanned past the crowd to look at Izzy who was sitting, cigarette dangling between his fingers as he took slow drags. His eyes scanned the band, listening as he drank his beer.
Did he like them? Why was he so hard to read? They sounded fine so maybe he liked them enough that he could do something to get them bigger than the clubs that they were playing; I wanted Jay to be able to live his dreams and to be happy.
And maybe part of me wanted to be free,
Izzy POV
That band was not good.
But I did want to see that girl again.
We needed an opening band for our opening band and with the tour under two weeks away it was getting to serious crunch time.
It was easy to get backstage. I may not have been the most famous band member but the band was well known and there was no question of letting me enter the shitty club area.
My eyes were looking for her. The way her skin glowed under the lights, the way her eyes were beckoning me to her. I was transfixed with my girl nameless but still claimed to me.
The backstage was small, two rooms for bands and a bathroom that hadn't been cleaned since the opening of the venue. The first door with the unfortunate name of the band was closed but the next room had a door partially open.
My hand went to knock but the casting of shadows from lamplight on the wall made me curious and I stepped to the side to get a view of what was going on in the room.
The lead singer was on the couch, pants around his ankles as he sat back, drinking a beer. Not seeming to care about the girl who was riding him. Her back was to him as her body seemed to touch only his cock. Up and down the curved ass rose and dropped, swallowing him inside the beauty of her depths.
Her hair fell to one side like a black curtain,hanging long enough that it tickled around her knees. Her dress pulled up and her underwear around her shoes on the floor. Lavender silk, dainty and feminine.
She was quiet and every once and a while there was a wince of discomfort. He didn't touch her. He should be holding her, have her thighs spread over his as his fingers made music come from her lips as she sung to him when he touched her. His lips should be worshiping her skin, kissing and suckling, marking her so all would know who she belonged to. There should be wet squelches from her body as she was pushed up and down on his cock but it was all silence. More act than any action.
I shouldn't watch them. I shouldn't sit here and admire the way her thighs flexed as they bounced on him. I shouldn't imagine myself making the sounds he was making. I definitely shouldn't be getting hard as I pictured her riding me. And I definitely shouldn't knock on the door to make them stop because I couldn't stand that two pump chump with her.
But I did.
She was pulling down her dress, kicking her underwear half under the couch as she moved away from the singer. He glared at me, cock out and shiny from her, but quickly shifted his attitude. Pushing the three inches back into his pants and wiping his hands on his pants and standing to offer me his hand to shake.
My eyes flickered from the filthy hand to his face and I reached into my pocket, lighting a cigarette instead. Moving to sit on the chair, eyes flickering to the side to see the girl ,who now I was realizing was his girlfriend and not the band manager.
"Izzy, my man." This fucking idiot. I looked at him, dumb grin and over confidence, "I'm Jay, lead singer of Bleached Anus." One forgettable syllable for one forgettable man.
"You should change your band name. If you come on tour with us I'm not going to have some asshole name." I flicked the cigarette into a can of beer, watching the way the girl moved to leave the room but he reached for her, like he knew she was going to sneak off.
It took everything in me to not get up and punch him in the face. The way she looked at him, that flash of fear made me sure I'd kill the fucker.
"Aya, get the band and then head home." He let her go, taking a step into the hall as if he was unsure she was going to listen to him.
My foot slid forward, hooking around her panties and pulling them to me. I bent down and shoved them into my pocket. Fingers sliding over the cool material, imagining how warm it must feel sliding off her body.
Aya.
Her name was a drug that I was already hooked on.
My girl.
I'm coming for you, my darling.
Aya POV
"What do you mean? I sent a check a few weeks ago. The money came out of my bank account." The panic was causing this cool sweat to run down my back as I tried to make sense of what they were telling me in the office.
I had come to the college to fill out some paperwork, I hadn't expected to be told that I wasn't able to start because my tuition isn't paid.
Again the woman softly explained to me that the check had never come and kindly suggested I go to the bank and find out what happened to that check.
My head was foggy as I waited in the teller line, stomach turning like sour milk as I thought how this all had to be a misunderstanding. I had worked hours at a diner for the past year to support Jay and I, paying for our apartment and our food. Double shifts to scrape just a tiny bit aside for school. How could my check not have gotten there? Jay had mailed it. He had taken the check and mailed it for me before one of my shifts. The money was gone from my account so who could have it?
The teller was speaking to me like a child, cautious as she explained that the check was cashed and it was out of my account but it went to the other signer on the account instead of my school.
Hot tears of frustration and hurt, how could he do this to me? How could after years of me working for his goal could he snatch away mine?
My mind went to the new bass I had seen the night before and I could feel the way my nails dug into palms as I tried to swallow screams as I moved towards home.
He needed to give me answers. After everything that we had been through he owed me an explanation for this.
I was blinded by tears and rage as I stormed into the apartment, shaking as I saw Jay drinking and laughing with someone.
"How could you use that money for yourself? How could you take my dreams from me when all I did was try to help you with yours? How could you steal my tuition?" My vision blurred and distorted more.
The silence of the room as I barged in, raising my voice in a way that I never did. I swiped, annoyed by the tears coming from me and looking at Jay. He shrugged his shoulders, my hysteria not meaning anything to him.
"I needed a new bass. Which is good timing because we're going on tour with Guns N Roses!" But I didn't care what he said. I didn't care about his dreams coming true because now he was leaving me and taking my dreams with him as he left.
"My tuition money, Jay. That was my money for school. It took me a year to get enough for just one semester. How could you take that from me?" I didn't understand how he didn't understand that what he had done was too much.
There were plenty of times in our relationship where he had gone too far with things but this all seemed like it was past the edge of a breaking point and now we were in the middle of the crack.
My hands were cold and sweaty at the same time as I shook in blind rage. It was all these emotions swimming around and getting swirled into a dangerous mix. I took so much and there was a point that I could no longer bend but I could break.
"But we're going on tour-"
"Fuck your tour. Your tour doesn't pay my bills." I snarled and I could feel the way I wanted to scream and claw at him for doing this.
What gave him the right to take away my chance out of this hell? What gave him the right to put out my dreams?
"I can pay your bills." I turned on my heels, surprised to see that Izzy Stradlin was sitting there, legs and arms crossed as he looked me up and down.
He didn't seem to care that I was fighting with my boyfriend. On The contrary he looked amused with the argument that we were having. Like he had planned something and he was getting everything to come together easier than he could have expected if to.
Something about the way he was eyeing me, interested in a way that made me feel like he was seeing something deeper in me. I could feel my heart in my throat as I wiped away the tears that were like a summer storm from my eyes. Quick flashes of raged lightning, the thunder of my words and a fast and heavy shower of tears that wouldn't last long enough to do any good.
"I don't need your charity." He shook his head at this, his wrist bending to let his cigarette rest on his lips, taking a lazy drag as he watched me.
No one had ever looked at me like this.
No one gazed at me with curiosity or interest.I felt naked and unsure under his gaze and I could feel the way I shifted, uncertain of what to do. The way he looked at me was intense, like a spotlight on a stage and I wasn't used to being the one who got that attention.
Jay was the one who craved fame. I just craved stability and love.
"I need someone to help keep me on track. An assistant. I'll pay for a full year of school plus all your expenses. You'll be back for the start of a fall semester. And if we're back by summer I'll throw in those courses for you." He was calm and confident, his eyes almost challenging me to say no.
And how could I say no? He was offering me a way out of a shitty situation. I could travel and make the money I needed for my education. It took a lot of stress from my life and it gave me an option out of tagging along with Jay or moving back with my parents and admitting defeat.
I looked at Jay, and he nodded his head, giving me the okay to accept this offer. Maybe he wanted some of the heat taken off of him from his shitty actions. And he was going to get that.
"When does the tour start?"
And just like that everything was set into motion.