In the end, they wind up together on the sofa, where Matthew spills his dreadful tale.
Sydney listens in silence, and when she's done, she exhales deeply and rests her elbows on her knees. "I have not done anything of the sort to anyone," she says, "but I know a girl who nearly killed someone, and she nearly destroyed herself with grief. She would not speak to any of us, she shut herself away in her rooms for months. And do you know what it did?"
"What?"
"It only broke all of our hearts. She kept her pain from the rest of us and it destroyed everything we'd built. If she had talked, if she had only told us...don't do that to yourself, Matthew. I didn't come back here just to watch my worst mistakes repeat all over again."
"My mother and father would never forgive me," he whispers. "They grieve for one child already, now they would grieve for two."
"They would grieve, but it is not you that they would not forgive, Matthew."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"If I know anything about Henry and Charlotte, it is that they believe in justice where justice is due, and not in witch-hunts and scapegoats. They will go to the Shadow Market, and they will hunt down the potion seller who sold you that poison, and that is who they will punish. Not you." Sydney gets up and paces to the fireplace. She rests one elbow on it and props the other hand on her hip. "If I don't get to the bastard first, that is," she finishes savagely.
"You really think that? That they would forgive me?"
"I really do."
"This woman you spoke of – she wouldn't have anything to do with your...training accident, would she? Or that long story you keep telling me from Romania?"
"I will tell you sometime, Matthew, but...there are things you need to hear first. And I think those things should wait until your own story has settled in a bit."
Matthew nods. Then he gets up, crosses the room to Sydney, and collapses into her as if he can't hold up his own weight anymore.
Sydney leans back against the wall and puts her arms around him, rubbing his back and stroking his hair, resettling his head gently against her bosom.
"Breathe," she murmurs. "Just breathe."
She does not hear the door swing open, nor does she hear it click gently closed. Maybe Matthew does, because he begins to cry, burying his head in her shoulder as the sobs shake through him. Sydney hugs him a little tighter, and puts her chin on his shoulder, and cries too.
< & >
Eventually, Matthew goes up to check on James, and Sydney sinks into one of the grey velvet armchairs. She pulls out her journal and flips through, pulling out and putting away the things tucked into the pages: letters from Lucie, pressed flowers, a few rather scandalous notes that Pavel had sent.
This is where Will finds her, when he comes in to talk.
"So," he says. "You and Math."
"How much did you see and do I need to hide the crossbow somewhere you won't find it?"
"You two carried James upstairs and disappeared, I went looking and found Math all but crying on your shoulder. I thought I'd better leave you alone. But now that he's gone..." Will shakes his head. "So many things you haven't told me, Sydney Rhiannon. So many things about you that I've had to learn the hard way. Where did you go, in Romania? What dark place have you been that brought you back here looking like a version of myself I grew out of years ago?" He shakes his head. "We named you after Sydney because we thought you'd learn from him, not turn into him."
"How much do you know about the extra three months I spent in Târgoviște?"
"Nothing, quite frankly. You refused to tell us when we asked about it."
"We can start there."
"Actually, I'd rather you start with what you were doing alone in here with Matthew that made him cry like that."
"We have an arrangement," says Sydney, "where we are telling each other the stories and secrets we need to let go, but which we are too afraid to tell anyone else. Our conversation this evening was a bit...heavy."
"I see. Now. Tell me about Romania."
"Well, actually, this one starts at the Academy, shortly after James & Company got expelled..."
A/N: No, I have not forgotten about the "days past" segments. But there are only three left and there's a lot of plot left to get through