Zurich
We enter through the doors of House of Imperium and Immediately I see her features change from pensive to pure shock. My brows furrowed as I looked at her as she walked by me and went up the stairs. I had carried her on my back from the woods. She's been acting strange since we've left and even stranger since we've come through the doors. She looked pale...sick even. It worried me, but I couldn't shake this feeling that she just lied straight to my face back there. I take a step forward to follow behind her to ask her point black to be real with me, but I am stopped by hands snaking around my waist.
"You seem to be fascinated with the human," Naforah snorted against my back. "She reminds me of the one you drank for breakfast yesterday. Cool,smooth, dark skin with those plump round lips and the ass-"
"Recall this morning when I almost ripped your head off, and use it Naf—as a warning," I say emotionless, and deadly serious as I unwrapped her hands from around my waist and headed up the stairs to my quarters. I lived on the second floor of the three. Maaldamir's room is located at the very top of the building. No one, but me, Zaphrina and whomever he's fucking can entire his room and I have instructed her of this. As I neared the door I noticed today's guard who is posted there, dressed in his black jean's, with a casual button shirt and a tie. It doesn't take me long to see that it's my favourite of them, Nyon.
I give him a nod and he steps out of my way and opens my door. His tall, skinny frame doesn't lead anyone to believe he has any tactical training. But he's a Master of Silat- never seen a more skilled fighter, and one of my best guards, even though he looks unassuming. But the little fucker can't dress to save his life! Always in some semi-formal getup, and the God awful suspenders sometimes. He was turned in the 18th century so his tastes are a bit off for this era.
"Good Afternoon, Sire," He smirks.
"They've changed you to the day shift, Nyon,"
"Yes, Sire. I requested with Castile that I get a change." He smiled, placing his hands nervously into his pant pockets."These outfits deserve to be seen in the day."
I try my hardest to hold in my laughter. Nyon I believe is very much into men, though I've never seen him with one... with any for that matter
"Well, it's good to have you." After placing my palm on his shoulder, I give him a pat before retreating to my room.
I have a lot on my mind...a lot to do. Maybe a drink before we head into that dark hole you call a brain, Zurich!
Hmmm.
Heading over to the counter that was fixed right in front of my bed where a Tv should be, I poured myself a tall glass of Romanée-Conti 1945. I took a big gulp and let out a deep, long sigh as the warm, bitter-sweet liquid coated my throat.
Right...
Now I can focus.
Alexander should be here soon and the last thing I needed was my temper ruining what could be a potential truce. Alexander could have easily had this talk with me weeks ago. Phones work wonders in this era. His temper matched mine...some would say it surpassed it since he lacked reason–and for god sake Why did he set Winone ablaze? I don't know why I am so irritated now, but I can feel myself sinking into anger and I just—
I took a deep breath in an attempt to quell my mood.
Tipping the glass on my lips I drank the remainder of the wine and took the bottle up instead.
Why did she lie to me?
Ahh...that's what's bothering me.
The fact of it made me even more uncomfortable and slightly irritated.
From the day we've met I've always had a sliver of doubt in the back of my mind that she wasn't being forthright, that something was amiss with her...but the blatant lie. Maybe it was the look in her eyes as she did it, or the deafening silence on our run back, or the immediate retreat to her room once we got in.
It's bothering me more than I am comfortable with. All of this shit is truly beginning to weigh on me. I've admitted to myself that I like her more than I should, and care for her deeply. Only an idiot would go on fooling themselves after all I have done.
And that's why her lying makes you feel like this...
But it shouldn't! She's not with me and thus can do as she pleases. Had she been mine, she'd have no choice but to honour me.
What is this? Are you seriously entertaining thoughts of being with the Maleficus? You haven't been with another person in that way in hundreds of years. I slumped my body into the bed, tossing the bottleneck to my lips. What the fuck is this?
Just then I heard a voice coming toward my door and rolled my eyes in annoyance.
"When did you get back?" I asked a moment before she opened my door. She grinned her little, sly grin at me that reminded me of her mother's as her red hair fell like curtains over her very light face. I've always loved the red of my sister's hair...it matched her light brown eyes and complemented her well.
"But a minute ago before I rushed up here," She says giddily. "Father has retreated to his chamber's, too upset with you to speak to you just yet." She tries without much luck in subduing her laughter. She knows this annoys me, but she's enjoying it.
"I take it, you couldn't just leave Alex be with your sloppy seconds, eh?" She grinned, jumping up onto the foot of my bed as she sips a glass of wine chased blood from a wine glass that I hadn't noticed in her hand before.
"I'm a bit thirsty, care to get me a glass?" I say as a means to have her leave. She raised a brow at me, then looked at the bottle in my hand. "For blood I mean, dummy."
"Nyon, would you be a dear and fetch the prince a person to drink?"
"Princess, but we have plenty of reserves in storage barrels, are you sure-"
"I do not wish to repeat my orders, and it'd be ashamed to be forced to." She seethes in a nefarious tone that only rivalled my own. She's calm when she makes her threats...she's like an abstract mirror when I look at her. All the parts of father that I see in myself, and other parts I do not recognise at all.
Raising my bottle to her in salute before I drank some more, my mind wandered on father. I had told him we had a Maleficus here with us for a temporary stay. He wasn't pleased but knew it wouldn't serve him well to appease me.
"Brother?" She coos as she looks up at me, lips stained red with her beverage.
"Hmmm?"
"Doesn't she remind you of your mother?" The question made my head heat up as I looked at her in complete shock. "From the photographs I've seen, your mother had the same long black hair and brown eyes-"
"Zaphrina, do you seriously not know better by now?" How the fuck can she be so hard-headed and spiteful? She thinks I can't hurt her... no one else dares upset me as much as she, and yet she lives, so she feels untouchable. She should reevaluate my sanguinary state of being.
"I do," She shrugs, "but that alone can't deter me from having my fill of fun for the day. I've had a long trip, be considerate, why don't you?" She smirks.
How lucky is she that she is my sibling?
"I understand that Alexander is to be here shortly." She coos as she gets up. "Drink your human and be ready. Father will be there to liaise and I will be there to spectate. Do endeavour to make it an entertaining meeting."
I wish I had a response. I just may...but I'm afraid rebutting will only keep her in my space for longer. Watching as she leaves my room, I only blink once she closes the door.
It is very much a matter of time before someone takes her. Should she marry, she'd have a distraction to keep her from annoying the fuck out of me. At one point I truly thought she would have stayed with Margaret, her mother. She was by her side, a mommy's girl for thousands of years. As talks of Maaldamir's retirement came around, a few hundred years back, she made sure to frequent Imperium more often, and that turned into her living here and visiting Margaret ever so often.
The thought of Margaret made my fangs itch against my gums. I knew I hated her the moment father brought her home. She stunk of cigarettes and curiosity. She was in awe of the supernatural, did everything father asked of her like some desperate housewife who needed her husband's approval. Father never married her. I suppose her being completely enamoured with him grew old. I also suppose that's exactly what he needed after mother died.
I sighed, shaking my head and finishing what was left of my bottle.
She made me promise to get along with Maaldamir. The nerve of her to do such a thing after choosing to go. Choosing to fucking die.
She was a weak human. She chose poorly... as they all do...
Yes...but she is still my mother.
And she reminds you of her.
I felt my fingers dig into my palm as they ball up into fists.
Yes.
She does. Complexion yes, long dark hair, yes...but more than anything. Her attitude. Stubborn and feisty... a Rubik's cube of a person. But one thing mother never did was lie to me. She was always painfully honest.
My mind was stormed with thoughts. I should ask her straight up. What the fuck are you keeping from me?
But is that my place?
I won't stress it. For now, I had Alex to deal with.
It's now dark, and I'm in the conference room on the ground floor. I suppose I'm dressed for the occasion in my black leather pants, black snakeskin boots and an ankle-length black and grey mink coat, bare-chested as usual. My hair combed over with a finished fade. This is as formal as I can get. The room was so large that my every movement echoed. I sit at the furthest end at the foot of the very long table. This table I think holds over eighteen people. I'm sitting far enough from father, and Alex can choose where he wants to sit once he arrives. Usually, I'm late for meetings. I find them insufferably boring. But this one, I chose to be early for. I fucked his wife, and if it didn't mean he wanted to go to war with me, I'd keep him waiting.
"You are awfully quiet," Iminan says as he's about to enter the room. Looking him up and down I try not to laugh. Brown leather pants, black button-down, three thin gold chains around his neck and hair cut just low enough where you can see his curls. My brows raised at him as he sits before me.
"What's with you and button downs these days?"
"What's with you and the lack thereof?" He smiles.
I wanted to join in this cheeky banter, but I felt too heavy. A lot was going on that I just don't speak on.
"He hasn't said a word since he's been back Zurich, I never knew Maaldamir to be lacking in words,"
"The blind could see he is not happy to be housing a Maleficus-"
"Or that you have fucked Naforah, having us all possibly go to war with our crazy cousin," Zaphrina says as she enters in a long black, tight skirt and a white t-shirt tied above her navel, a glass of blood dangling in her hand like an accessory. She sits next to me. Oh, for Vlad's sake!
"Where the fuck is Alex?" I growled as I thought about being in this room longer than I needed to be. "I do not appreciate being kept waiting!"
"You fucked the man's wife, the least you can do is wait," Zaphrina laughs. I gave her a look that only she understands today as the look I gave her before I took her daylight ring and opened all her windows in her room that one time. I feel a warmth in my gut now as I remember her screams as the sun punctured her skin. She found shade. Unfortunately. Her smile dwindles as she recalls the pain. Hmph...good.
Suddenly, I heard footsteps approaching the door, and familiar scents filled my nose. Wait, why is she here?
As the door opens, I see my father's face for the first time. He was serious, and his well structured and contoured face appeared even harder than I am used to seeing it. He wore a black suit with a magenta undershirt and his tall, gargantuan stature threatened to burst through it. Does the family tailor hate him? or does he want to look like he's still a growing boy?
Next to him were his two favourite guards, Angelico and Simion. Both have been by his side since before I came to be. Both Angelico and Simion are big, bulky white men with too much hair. Both blonds too, they'd look like brother's if it weren't for Angelico being Italian, and so a little darker than Simion. I never liked them...they've never done anything to me personally, it's... it's the suits. I can't stand the suits. The three of them together look like they're about to sing at a wedding and they're unhappy about it.
Father, without looking at me, takes a seat at the head of the table. Both guards stood by the door and little miss Naforah who had walked in with them in her white, strapless dress sat in a neutral seat. A White dress... way to remind the man of his wedding day after fucking his cousin... or is she feigning innocence and purity to win his affection?
Her hair is down too, parted in the centre to cover her face when her head is bowed in shame. Good for you Naforah...ever the sly little devil.
"King Maaldamir, they have arrived," Simion says.
"Good, have them enter."
Yes, let's get this the fuck over with.
In a matter of seconds, I noticed all the seats around the large table were occupied with council members, witnesses and...Alex. House of Absconditus was nothing if not big on theatrics. Any other visitor would have walked in with some level of decorum, but not Alex nor his flock of waifs dressed as though they came directly from an all-black punk rave. I admit since they've entered I have not looked at Alex for more than the second it took to take in poor dressing in. His blonde hair dangled like thick wisps of shiny hay on this head, and his golden eyes, piercing through like gold coins against a pope's pale, dead skin. He is tall, a few inches taller than me, and I am six feet and three inches. Alex the unforgiving... only Naforah would seek to marry a man only to rip his heart to shreds. I look towards her to see her, looking down at the table. Oh fuck, she's sticking to the act. Good for her. Although I thought she said she was confident he'd forgiven her and knew her well enough to not expect that she'd be faithful. I guess nothing is wrong with being extra cautious, but she's laying it a little thick here.
"You dare to look at her as though I am not present, Letifer?"
Hmph, I have struck a nerve. Okay, Alex, since we are here...
I met his gaze and I noticed that he sat nonchalantly in the chair, his back almost to the seat. He wore all white with a button-down, long-sleeved white shirt, unbuttoned of course like I taught him as kids. I couldn't help the smirk on my face as I looked at him.
"Only because I can't stand to see her look so sad," I mocked.
"You've asked me here to mock me after you've disrespected me in the highest regard?" he asks...and a part of me knew not to push him, but the other side chooses violence...always.
I chuckled to myself as I remembered the audio for that meme.
"Not only to mock you, I want us to speak man to man, dear cousin," I said this with sincerity, but the look in his told me he gave zero fucks.
"Letifer, you fucked my wife-"
"Well to be fair Naforah has fucked many men, and I would not have touched her had she not aked for it," I shrugged, leaning back into my seat.
"You took advantage of her!" he growled, so loudly my ears rang. "She was vulnerable!"
"I'm sure you know of our history, Alex," I shrugged, "Naforah is and will always be tied to me. May I recommend a divorce? She simply is not fit to be your wife- or anyone's for that matter."
I could sense her nerves giving way. Her initial look of piousness and innocence was replaced by anger and resentment.
"How dare you!" She shrieked.
"How dare I what, Naf? I've told you lying to yourself is not something you should try out, you are not fit to be faithful. You do not have a monogamous bone in your body." I scoff. Her eyes grew red and I could see the tension in her cheeks as she tried to clamp down on her fangs.
"Alex, it is best you redirect your anger inward for all the lies you tell yourself, to be fair," I shrugged, turning my attention to him as he sat in reverence, attentively listening to me. "She only did what her true nature compelled her to do, and I did the very same. If I am to be one hundred per cent honest here, I'd fuck her again, regardless of how it would make you feel, and she'd do it again, and again."
"How is this helping the dire situation we find ourselves in, Zurich!" Iminan shrieks under his breath.
My eyes wandered over to him, and I saw the utter annoyance in his eyes. It amused me.
"The whole room can hear you, we are vampire's, why are you whispering?" I laugh. Iminan rolls his eyes and sighs.
"Have I wasted my time to come here instead of declaring war and murdering every last one of them, Gofdan?" He says to his bodyguard who sat next to him. A big, hulking guy. Tall, red hair tied in a short knot at the back of his head. He looked rather Irish...but you can't always tell these days, humans and vampires alike have dulled down their gene pools through miscegenation. Many of them openly dating other races, and kinds– it's a concept I never understood.
"Sir, I believe the prince only jests in his callused sense of humor," Gofdan utters in a guttural voice. "Let us not be rash."
Ha.
"Letifer, tell me this, what would you do if you were in my shoes?" Alex asks, folding his arms over his chest, staring at me.
"Your shoes are a bit too loose for me, my hypothetical wife would have to be faithful to me and fuck me and only me, you and Naf have a different arrangement, so she saw it fit to fuck me," I shrug, "You gave an insatiable woman an inch and hoped she wouldn't take the mile. You did a stupid thing, and now you hope to punish me for it."
"You speak as though you are the victim here!" Alex growls.
"Ha, victim? Never that."I scoff, "I am just simply making clear your fault in all of this."
"Alex, my dearest, let's just forget about all of this and go home, okay?" Naf coos to her husband. Don't laugh, Zurich. Hold it! He looked at her and you could see him visibly folding into her palms. Waw... Naf... you have him hooked, don't you?
I've decided that I have had enough fun. Let's rest this issue right now. Let me allow Naf to work her magic on her pet husband. It's been about ten minutes since we've all gathered, and I hate nothing more than meetings. Especially ones where I am expected to defend myself. I usually do the opposite...
"I-I want to propose a truce with the head of House of Absconditus and the Prince of House of Imperium and all Donatus alike." I hear Iminan sing beside me, rising up from his seat in confidence that irrational Alex and stubborn me will join him.
"I believe that was my proposal to make, Iminan." I hear from the far end of the massive table. Oh...Maaldamir. I almost forgot he was among us he's been so quiet. Looking over at him, he seemed rather calm. Too calm. I imagined that this entire time he'd been sitting there watching us argue, mock and stare at each other with nothing but absolute bitter disgust or...is he entertained?
Hmph. Entertainment for Maaldamir includes working, drinking, and fucking human women. I could never imagine that he'd find entertainment in any of this, so disgust it is.
"My apologies my King," Iminan does a slight bow in respect. "I may have acted in haste because I am anxious to see this end. No one wants a war."
"Yes, no one but the man who fucked my wife," Alex murmurs with a smirk playing on his lips. "Perhaps our Prince would like to give an apology of some kind to make amends?"
I looked at him as though he'd been hexed. Has he lost his mind? Apologize? Me? Alexander should know better. He should have bitten his tongue off just then when he spoke that rubbish!
"I'd rather fuck a werewolf in animal form than utter an apology to anyone!"
"Zurich!" Father yells and at that moment I saw the red in his eyes shimmer. It was as though they now had a depth I never noticed before. "I'd rather not be here to listen to you and Alex squabble over the whore. There is a war happening as we speak!"
What?
"What do you mean a war?"
"Sire, I'd rather you not call her that," Alex says respectfully.
"Well whatever you wish to call her, the matter at hand is far less significant than ones I have to tend to. So wrap this truce up so that I may go!"
A war?
I am stunned, silent. My brows knitted tightly as I looked at my father who looked unusually tense.
What war? Aren't we here trying to avoid a war?
I looked over to Alex who was quite confused, and I have today I completely understand it.
"Alex, I'm sorry I fucked your wife," I said in a haste before looking back to father, "What goddamn war?"
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up as my mind went into a whirlwind of chaotic thoughts.
Father sighs and rests his chin on his knitted fingers.
"All witnesses leave the room!" He ordered, and in no time the space was empty. I sensed Iminan getting up from his seat, and I knew he was looking at me with a warrior's readiness, as he always has in the face of aversion. But right now, I am frozen by my thoughts that are a muck in my mind. He rests his hand on my shoulder and endearingly squeezes it as if to say I will be by your side no matter what. I know brother...I know, same. The only person's left was Alex, Zaphrina, myself and Maaldamir.
"A Donatus war," He sighs.
You've got to be kidding me.
"An uprising?" Alex says absentmindedly.
"Why?" was all I could manage as my fangs itched against my gums.
"The explosion at Winone, that fire was pinned on you Zurich," Father sighs, "Now I know it wasn't you because my men have informed me that Dubois and Siane have decided to follow through with a coup d'etat,"
I fucking knew it. I knew it.
"And they put it on me to rile the people up. Just like they did the murder of that girl." Hmph... okay, it's not rocket science that they've discovered really. But good on then for realizing pinning another murder on me, and having it seems like yet again another "pointless" death for my amusement was a basic idea an idiot could come up with. You are always the bad guy Zurich...
"I- well, I can see where this issue is a bigger one than you screwing my wife, but let us make this clear from here," Alex growls looking me dead in the eyes, "We are no longer in alliance with the House of Imperium and any war that is happening you will receive no backing from us."
I knew Alex was an asshole... I also knew he could be heartless. I taught him as much, but in a time when Donatus' were after my father's immediate resignation as King? A time when they were after my neck?
Actually... It makes sense of him.
"Fair enough my nephew, please take your leave as soon as possible." He nods to Alex, who simply nodded back and avoided looking at me too. I see... you realize you won't get your justice here, so you will sit on the sidelines and wait for it to be served to me by someone else. I can't even say I'm mad at it. Alex gets up and gets ready to take his leave.
"I wish House of Imperium the best in all of this, it's not going to be a bloodless war."
I say nothing as he leaves. There is nothing to say. The door shuts and the room feels a bit lighter with the irate husband gone. But I have questions, many that-
"You've been awfully quiet my daughter."
"You're kingship being challenged after so many years, my thoughts are awry." She sighs as she looks through the window. "Vlad's death was brutal. You're head on a stick and mine and Zurich's beside it is not how I thought this era would end."
"You speak of failure and defeat as though it was promised, Zaphrina," He sighs, "We still have many on our side."
My mind wandered as they spoke. I'd be lying if I said I saw none of this coming. Those idiots truly think this way is best. Being ruled by vampire's seems to be a hard pill to swallow. After all these years of it, you'd think they'd just let the pill go down, but no. They choose a war no one needs right now, and I am not only the impetus, but I am also their sacrificial lamb, their scapegoat.
Well, every war needs a bad guy.
"Zurich!" Father yelled to get my attention. I looked over to him slightly annoyed that I was being addressed at all. I wanted to be alone. "I'll need you ready for what is to come. They won't tell us when or how, but we know they are coming."
"Zurich getting ready won't change the outcome of this. We've just lost one of the biggest House's support because he fucked the cum-bucket again!"
"Zaphrina...be very careful. I'd hate to have your mother have to come by to sweep your ashes into a fucking urn!" I growled.
"Enough!" Father growled.
"I'll be ready." I nodded. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. But it was a weight I was born ready for. One I knew would inherit the day I became king. One my mother and father alike knew I would have to bear one day.
"And son, I know now you were telling the truth about killing that girl. None of this is coincidental." He nodded at me, and I for a moment felt that he was proud of me. I did not expect that look of pride in his eyes. It made me uneasy. Before I could say another word he was out of the room.
I had a feeling of heaviness take over my entire being. The gravity of what was happening started to weigh on me. What the fuck just happened?
A'Miza
Another two days have passed and I haven't heard from him. He sends the occasional text at some odd hours when I'm asleep. The fact that vampires don't sleep makes it feel as though we are in different time zones. I felt like something was coming. Not only have I not been able to contact anyone back at Winone. I still haven't been told what caused the fires and if it is safe for me to go back. Also, messaging spells haven't been working. Zurich has given me a phone... a very expensive phone, an I phone 13 pro max. It felt strange accepting a gift this expensive, but in the context of his wealth, I guess it isn't much. It was then I knew none of my contacts was backed up on the cloud...I never knew technology could be so finicky.
It's been rather cold here too, Iminan has been the only warmth here. He makes a point to check on me daily. He should be here any time now. I was given a TV weeks ago, but now it just felt pertinent. Vampires are shitty hosts and Iminan is kind and funny and...here.
Shit.
I hear him by the door about to knock. I looked down at what I was wearing. Okay, regular plain White T-shirt and black sweat pants....Very unflattering, but-
"Hi," I said a bit too soon before he was fully visible. Shit.
I watched as his white teeth sparkled against his brown skin. His chest peaking through the undone buttons of his black button-down shirt. He also wore jeans, very tight ones and some shoes I am sure are from the eighteen hundreds but I am sure could pass as edgy in the era. They were like boots but with ornate metal on both sides.
"Stop staring at my shoes, you weren't born yet when I had these made." He chuckles.
"Way to remind me of the jail worthy age gap between us," I joked, embarrassed that he'd caught me staring.
"Hey, uh, I was wondering if you'd like to take a walk with me in the garden later tonight?" He asks while holding on to the large, tall wooden bedpost at the end of my bed. The look in his eyes confused me as he asked me the question...it was genuine as it usually was, but there was a hint of concern as well.
"You think I may literally die of boredom, don't you?" I chuckle.
"Honestly, yes," He holds his heart, feigning pain, "And I simply couldn't bear having that on my conscience."
I laugh so hard my stomach is cramped. He was good at that...making me laugh.
"Well I'd hate to refuse only to die of boredom then have you live with that guilt, so what time?"
"Eight sharp," he smirked.
"See you then, Iminan," I smiled and he smiled back. Oh, waw...
Maybe I've been locked in this castle too long. Is he flirting or just being nice?
I watched as he closed the door behind him and immediately slumped back into bed resuming my Netflix series. Snowpiercer is getting too good. It's been a treat to not have those nagging voices and shadows plague my mind when I'm in this house. I haven't gotten a chance to sit down with Zurich. To finally ask some questions that have been gnawing at me since I've been here. The aches in my stomach that come and go, the voices quieting, the fact that my powers have all but disappeared.
So many questions...so few answers.
My head suddenly felt heavy. I've tried to stay occupied...to not think about it. To not think about what's happening at Winone. To my friends...my parents, too. Who I am sure must believe I've been kidnapped or that I have died. Funnily enough, no one has tried to call me. I've sent emails out to my parents to assure them of my safety. No one has replied.
I sigh heavily.
It's all a fucking mess. A confusing mess. Not to mention the fact that I'm in the dark again. He said communication would get better since I've been back...but it only got worse. It's only been two days, maybe he truly is busy.
I find myself looking at the protagonist in Snowpiercer, Layton. The way he lead his people...the planning, all the work that goes into being a leader and in some ways it made me understand Zurich's lack of time...but it didn't ease me much. I have questions that need answers...help I need to find out if my friends and family are okay...some update on Winone- if it's safe to go back yet.
Closing my eyes, I welcomed the calmness of sleep. Yes...I should sleep. It's a pleasant escape these days...especially without the voices. I drift away almost immediately.
A'Miza!
A'Miza can you hear me?
Who is that? No...it was more than one voice. Am I dreaming?
She can't hear us, this isn't working!
A'Miza can you hear me?
Send a message.
We? I try to say something, but nothing comes out. I am paralyzed in the dream and I have no doubt in reality as well.
The voices are so muffled I can't make out who they are, but I know it's more than one voice. They are trying to get to me through a Sleep Pigeon- a message through the dream, but I have no way to answer back.
A'Miza, send us a message so we can know you are alive and well, Bean!
It was at that moment I realized who they were...Bean. It was mom and dad. My heart fell to my stomach, and I tried even harder to say something. Nothing.
Fuck!
Suddenly I heard nothing. It went silent and it was just me in my dark, cold dream...in silence. I felt a firm grip on my arm and it was like I was being pulled through a vortex back to reality as I opened my weary eyes and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed- shirtless and looking at me worriedly. I tried my hardest to breathe, but suddenly my chest felt tight and it was becoming hard to fill my lungs with air. An immediate panic came over me as I looked into his eyes and hyperventilated with little control. I grabbed his arm and he pulled me into a hug.
"Breathe," he says calmly. "Take deep, slow breaths and count backwards from ten in your head."
I felt as though I was going to die. But I tried my hardest to do as instructed.
10...
Deep breath.
9...
Exhale.
8...7
My wheezing, though uncomfortable became bearable.
6...5..4
"You're doing well, pulchra," He says and he soothingly rubs my back. Only as I get to number one do I realize my face was pressed into the firmness of his chest. Only then does his smell...one I can only describe as intoxicated. As though should you treat him like a drug, and take him in-his scent I mean, you'd be hooked.
"Very good, A'Miza." he sighs into my hair as he rubbed my back.
Holding me by my chin he eases me forward and as soon as our eyes met, I felt it. It was like...a Serge. Like electricity? Come on A'Miza, you can do better. Well, no it was indescribable. It was like nothing I'd ever felt before and I can't tell if he felt it, too. He only looked at me with care in his eyes, a care I knew was there, but having not seen him in a while, felt new. I noticed it was nighttime as his eyes were Incredibly bright gold-hazel.
"What was all that about?" He asked softly...like he took care to choose his words and his tone.
There's a lot it'd take to answer his question effectively. A lot of details and I don't know why...but I just wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to open my mouth and speak, but I fell mum as our eyes lingered...it was as though I was being charged or compelled...what was this?
"The longer you take, rabbit, the more I'll worry." he breathed and I could feel my brows gathering... he does care for me. A small part... a fair amount of my being, to be honest, liked him. A lot. It made no sense and felt completely irrational, but I can't seem to shake it.
"I was being contacted by my parents through a sleep pigeon...they- they are worried."I croaked, my throat dry from all the wheezing.
"Kevin, get Miss McNeal a glass of water. "He says aloud, while not breaking eye contact with me.
Suddenly, I felt his thumb move against my cheek in an endearing, calming back and forth motion. It made me want to fall back into his chest and hold him, and cry. There's so much I wanted answers to!
"Did you assure them that you are safe?"
"I- well-"
His brows furrowed as he looked at me... waiting.
"Well, the issues I've been having with my powers didn't allow me to answer their message."
His brows loosened as he looked into my eyes again, this time his hand that was still at my face up till that moment, fell away from it as he looked at me as though I've grown another head.
"Magic isn't needed from both ends for you to answer a sleep pigeon," he uttered under his breath with a look of disappointment in his eyes. I forget that he knows quite a bit about magic from having lived so long. But why the disappointed look.
"Well, true, but I simply couldn't reply,"
"There is nothing simple about you lying to me, A'Miza," he growled, getting up from my bed and walking over to the window.
I felt my stomach tie itself into knots as I realised he was upset...and that he knew...he knew that I haven't been one hundred per cent honest with him. I don't know why, but I hated that he was upset and at me...it made me feel like I was hurting him...even though I knew his anger was more disappointing than hurt.
"Zurich, I-I hear voices," I spat in a panic. "They sometimes leave me in a state I can only describe as temporary paralysis and they never ever turn off, they only get low or get loud- the day you met me I was in such a state and then you touched my arm and they went silent."
Shit, I'm rambling. But I need him to hear it all.
He doesn't turn to look back at me, so I continue to let it all out.
"They make me sleep walk, usually leading me over a cliff or in danger of some kind. I can never make out what they are saying, or what they look like," I breathed. "It's been happening since my eighteenth birthday all those years ago and they've never been silent, until I came to this house."
Still...he looked at the window with both hands in his pant pockets. I could see the muscles in his back tensed as I spoke, but not a word.
"There was a moment when I could hear your every thought...when we were in the living room and your cousin Emile came by," I sighed, feeling my emotions taking over..."It was strange and I didn't- I honestly didn't know how to bring it up. Then you didn't really talk to me after that so there was never a good time to bring it up- and on top of that my powers just mysteriously disappeared and I can't seem to be able to answer a damn sleep pigeon!"
Silence ensued as he peered through the window and I stared at him. Did I say too much too soon? Should I have segmented it? Why was he not saying a word? It was starting to make me nervous.
"Can you still hear my thoughts?" He asked in a firm voice that made me shake a little.
"No, that stopped...it only happened then."
"I see, well then." He sighed. "At least I know all you've been keeping from me. That is all, right?"
"Yes, well that's what I can remember right now."
Silence ensued for a while more as I imagined he mowed things over in his head. I don't believe I have ever said any of it aloud...never told anyone about my problems and now...I've said it all in less than two minutes...spilled it all as if I were an opened can of beans sitting at the edge of a table that he just happened to hit over.
This was all so weird...
Suddenly I see him turn to me, and his eyes were still golden, but his sclera was now red...sort of how one's eyes would look if they were heavily emotional...almost to tears or have just cried. But that wasn't it. I saw a man who seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders, a pained man. I don't know why but I stood up and bravely walked over to him. I took his hand in mine and looked up at him. His brows furrowed as he looked down at me.
"I'm sorry I wasn't as open as before, I've never told a soul of my uhm...issues." I sighed, "and the weird stuff that's been happening since I've been here- the hearing your thoughts, my powers, my voices/shadow plague and the stomach pains, I should have said someth-"
"Stomach pains?" He snapped out of his initial shock and I noticed his eyes dilated.
I nodded.
"Since you invited me in- you remember I had to ask for tea?"
"That was three weeks ago you reckless human," he breathed exasperatedly, running his hands through his hair.
"I-well-I-"
"You can keep your secrets that don't concern you or your health and safety. You cannot keep those from me. This A'Miza, under my protection, I won't stand for," he breathes. Maybe it was the vulnerability in him that I've been seeing more of lately...or again, maybe the fact that he truly was a handsome, well built, suave man...who apparently feels and cares under the hard exterior. Whatever it was, I knew I've wronged him here. I also know I- hurt a bit when he doesn't talk to me. I mean-
"I need your word." He says under his breath, taking my chin between his thumb and pointer. His eyes haven't left mine once. I nodded before his gaze froze me stiff.
"You have my word," I breathed.
He sighed and dropped his fingers from my chin relieved. I could tell he had questions, and I wanted to tell him he could ask anything he pleased, I'd be forthright and honest. I don't know, but in the short months we've been friends, and in these later months especially, I think I genuinely see our friendship as something real...and important.
There was a silent knock at the door and at that moment my heart felt like it came up to my throat and fell with a thud into my stomach. Iminan.
He looked to my door and walked toward it with a serious, yet curious look on his face. I watched nervously as he opened it to be met with Iminan's smile. Iminan, though confused, kept smiling and nodded at Zurich.
"I did say she was off limits for drinking, yes?"Zurich laughed, nudging Iminan.
"I came to take the lady for a walk as I promised her,"
"Oh, is that right?" Zurich nodded as though he spun the words in his head and flipped them in different directions to properly observe them. I felt a twinge of guilt rising in my gut as I realized the dynamics I might have started with no intention to.
"Yes, but I see you are busy catching up, should I go or we're still on, A'Miza?"
Shit... Do I have to answer? Shit, shit.
"Well Iminan you've come all this way, it's only fai-"
"I'll get out of you guys' hairs and go busy myself." He smirked, squeezing Iminan's shoulder. Turning to me and nodding at me before taking his leave. What just happened?
Wait...
"Your mood seems to have changed, do you not wish to take a walk anymore?"
"No, no, of course, Iminan," I smiled...the guilt rushing through me, mixing with every emotion I just felt when letting him into my world. I wonder if he minded Iminan being here?
Why would he? He cares for you, he doesn't feel anything else. You aren't even sure if he's capable of feeling anything else. Clearly, he doesn't subscribe to "human feeling" as I've coined them. Let it go A'Miza, he's just your friend who cares for you. You have no time for this! You can address your feelings later miss! Alright... I grabbed my new fur jacket, courtesy of Zurich's material hospitality. "Let's go, Iminan."
#HowIsitSofar?