i'm always dead || all of us...

By U-da_Udonn

30K 2.1K 858

m/n went into his last seen kdrama series and one day experienced life and hell. although he had been transmi... More

1: proluge
2: a week
3: earlier than needed
5: make it right
6: empatient
7: blood countdown
8: turning
9: two lost lonely people

4: why do i always die?

3.2K 242 121
By U-da_Udonn

"what the actual...fuck?"

[m/n] looked around in a daze to see him back in his room—especially when looking back at his calendar to see the date prior to the incident.

[m/n] grabbed a fistful of his hair with a shaky sigh. the previous adrenaline still in his body as he couldn't help but pound on his soft mattress.

"the apocalypse happened too early...i got bitten and died...and even went back in time— for the second time?"

"this is crazy...ahahaha..." [m/n] fell back down on his bed with a soft thump. "am i regressing?" he wondered.

this was the second time he came back— it's so scary but thrilling. things just got more interesting for his character. [m/n] had an adrenaline smile plastered on his face all the way to school.

"if things are going to get chaotic earlier than the said plot...i should probably rope in cheongsan and prevent him from getting bit—"

[m/n]'s thoughts got cut off when something sharp stabbed him in the back and he was pushed down the paveside near the gates. he could vaguely hear the screams of women and footsteps coming closer, pair hands were running up and down his back which caused him great pain.

.

.

beep! beep! beep! beep—

the familiar alarm made [m/n] shot up back in his own room-- still the same repeating day.

"that's weird," [m/n] frowned, remembering the last memory of him being stabbed in the back before he could go to school.

the last thought on his mind back then was trying to warn off cheongsan...but it seemed like the will of this world always finishes him off before he could even do so.

"it's like they don't want me to interfere..." [m/n] blinked. "the fuck? then why was i even put here in the first place?!" he pounded on his pillow then after, he threw it on the floor.

he slammed his head on the other pillow and let out a despairing scream. his saliva flowed through the pillow and he lifted up his head is disgust.

"i should just mind my own fucking bussiness. let them die for all i care,"


---


"nope-- nope! can't let them die. can't let them die!"

[m/n] wailed and ran around the halls infected with rabid students. chasing him from behind, [m/n] slide through the floor and let out an "oof" them scrambled on the open door without anyone inside.

at least-- that was what he thought.

"ah-- shit!"

[m/n]'s collar was pulled by one zombie and he pushed it away. the zombie got back up with cracked bones and ran towards him--[m/n] who was standing behind the window-- then the zombie lunged forward for both of them to get thrown out.

[m/n] felt the glass penatrating his back as he yelled. he was pushed out the window with the zombie struggling in his grip. both of them fell fast on the second floor.

[m/n] was the first to feel the impact.

.

.

beep! beep! beep! beep—

"ah...fuck my life."


---


[m/n] watched with a warry look as he went inside his school. he had found out recently that he really could not interfere with the plot...but he also could not let the protagonist die.

he was stuck in limbo.

he was hanging on a thread with both sides occupying cheongsan's outcome. he had to maintain the balance because if he fell then he will have to redo his life all over until he grows crazy.

so far...he did not think of anything related to saving or leaving cheongsan. he could only heave a sigh of regret as he forced his legs to trudge towards hyosan high. the school was still intact; no zombies, no blood.

he sighed in relief and finally went back to his room. he looked around to see jiyeon still applying her makeup and the others talking at the time of their lives. he badly wanted to warn them...even if they did him dirty.

but he was not a holy father, he was not a saint that would sacrifice himself to save others for the sake of friendship.

once you've experienced anything hellish, your mindset will change for the better or for the worst. in [m/n]'s case, it was somewhere in between. he really wanted to save some wasted characters that died, but he did not want to endanger his own life.

that said...he can always turn back in time, so what's the point of saving anyone only for it to be wasted and rewind back? [m/n] laughed at the irony and lay his head on his table to sleep until the class would start.


---


"bang [m/n]?"

"yes?"

[m/n] looked up to see a figure towering down on him. his eyes widened when he saw the figure finally get clear— it was choi namra!

"ah...yes, hello?" [m/n] said in awkwardness, unable to keep his eyes away from namra's pretty face. 

namra shuffled her feet and told [m/n], "i heard you were a top student in biology...i was hoping you could help me with some questions from lee's class..."

"oh, uhm...yes, sure," he nodded in a daze and grabbed a notebook from his bag. he gently handed it to namra who bowed with gratitude and walked out of the class.

"..."

[m/n] stayed there in a daze, the hair on his skin standing up in a chill. "i just made contact with a beautiful girl, holy shit..." not just that, he made contact with one of the protagonists without him doing anything!

[m/n] flinched, looking around. he made sure there were no near sources that could kill him and send him back in time. he sighed in relief and smiled through the whole day.

.

.

beep! beep! beep! beep—

"ahhhhh!"


---


"fucking--fuck! ahhhhhhh! fuck! shit! this motherfucking--! gaaaaahh!"

[m/n] finally lost it.

he kicked the bed and yelped in pain, instantly regretting his move, and instead laid down on the floor and pounded on it with pure fury.

"mom! just-- i won't go to school today,"

[m/n] smiled-- a rather insane one at that. he decided that as long as he don't go to school he was safe.

.

.

beep! beep! beep! beep—

"fucking-- fuck you!!!!"


---


'sigh'

[m/n] laid on the ground with a pained look. his eyes were red from all the miserable crying he did. he rolled over the floor with no intention of doing anything.

this was his 18th time going back.

and in all those 18 times-- no matter what he did, he always ended up going back with him not even knowing his death anymore.

but he learned something.

(first, he had to go to school. no matter what, he must go until the designated date when the apocalypse happens.)

(second, he mustn't come in contact with the characters until the designated date of the apocalypse. he had to act his role and stay still.)

(third--)

[m/n] spat out the paper that was on his mouth.

(he found out during one of his times regressing that he could bring any object stored in his mouth back in time. at first, he found it unreliable.

but now...he was nearing his 20th time coming back and he grew desperate. the moment he remembered he could store in his mouth and bring it back--he wasted no time going back in the science lab to gobble as much paper as he can.)

yet every time he seems to die and come back.

now at present, he was already walking towards school with a gloomy face, making other students around him look at him uncomfortably. he did not bother them and continued back to his room.

he gloomily looked at teacher song who continued with his math lecture, then gloomily ate at the cafeteria, and gloomily walked back when school was over—

"wait a minute..." [m/n] looked back with squinted eyes.

"i...lived?" [m/n] scoffed with a look of surprise. he touched his chest, his hips, his legs, and face-- all of which he can still feel.

"I'm alive! yeah! woohoo! i did it!" [m/n] could not help but jump in joy in front of the school exit without caring about the strange looks the others were giving him.

he did not bring his bike to avoid more incidents and so he ran straight back home and into his mother's arms. "mom!" he snuggled in content.

mrs. bang was surprised at her son's sudden hug, but she smiled sweetly and patted her child's soft hair. "aww, what got you in such a response? here, i made your favorite so cheer up."

"mm, mom's the best!" [m/n] nodded sweetly.

"yes, yes. i am the best," his mom winked. "by the way-- i have this friend that has this chicken restaurant so i was hoping if you want to come by next week when you're free?"

[m/n]'s smile dropped. "mom...is the restaurant perhaps named "cheongsan chicken restaurant"?"

"oh? how'd you know?" mrs. bang smiled cheerfully. "speaking of cheongsan-- she also has a son named cheongsan!" mrs. bang laughed gently, "apparently she named her son after the restaurant, and cheongsan also goes to your school!" mrs. bang clapped her hands sweetly.

"why don't you two get to know each other? hm? why don't we go there next week?"

[m/n] forced a smile on his face. "sure...mom, whatever you want—urk--!"

[m/n] dropped his spoon and grabbed his neck as he choked on a piece of meat.

"a-ah! shit--!"

.

.

beep! beep! beep! beep—

[m/n]'s eyes woke up to the familiar sight of his ceiling. he sighed and rolled down on the bed until he fell on the floor and rolled again. he banged his head on the floor.

"why do i always die like this?!"


---

[poor guy. its actually really hell when all your hard work dissolves into nothing and you have to start over from scratch without a choice.]

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