It was late in the evening when Autumn decided to leave her room after taking a shower and changing into some new clothes. Today was quite interesting, when Autumn had asked Celine for help she hadn't expected the other lady to actively involve herself in helping Autumn regain her memories. Training in the ring today was ecstasy, Autumn imagined it was how people that had been stranded in the desert felt after they got their first sip of water.
It was the best feeling in the world.
Celine was right, Autumn's body was quite familiar with certain skills that they had which required years of training and practice, and that made Autumn wonder what type of life she lived before losing her memory. Her body seemed to know exactly who she was and what she needed to do but her mind was blank, in order to fill in the empty spaces Autumn needed to get her mind and body to work together.
It wasn't much but Autumn couldn't get the voice of the person she had remembered out of her mind for the whole day and she wondered who that person could be and what type of relationship they had? One day of training and partaking in something familiar had sparked her memory, even if it was just for a few seconds, if she kept this up Autumn would be able to regain her memory in no time.
Counting her steps in her mind and feeling for her environment Autumn safely got down the stairs. After their training, Celine and Esther had taken her around a few specific places in the living room in case she got bored of staying in her room. Now in an attempt to test her memory Autumn tried to remember exactly where Esther had taken her and a huge grin broke out on her face when she made it there successfully.
Feeling for the throw pillows that were situated next to the window Autumn took a seat and leaned her back against the wall as she folded her legs under her. Autumn imagined that it was probably dark out now and that the sky was filled with millions of stars as she gazed blindly out the window wishing that she could see it, even if it was just for a second.
"Here." A voice said sometime later as Autumn blinked her eyes opened and she realized that she had dozed off for a few moments. Warm hands clung onto hers and she felt her fingers being wrapped around something cold.
"Huh?" Autumn said in confusion as she looked.
"OJ." The voice said in explanation and Autumn realized that it was Jungkook. Taking a seat on the opposite side so he was facing her Jungkook put his leg up as well putting one over the other.
"Thank you." Autumn said quietly before taking a huge gulp of the freshly squeezed juice. Sighing in satisfaction Autumn lay her head back once more and remained in silence.
"Are you okay?" Jungkook asked after a moment gazing at her silently as he took in her condition.
"I'm not sure." Autumn answered honestly knowing exactly what he was asking. "For the first time I feel something other than fear, it's exhilarating. Somehow doing makes sense and I know I can get my memory back but....I'm scared." Autumn admitted drawing circles on the surface of the cup with her thumb.
"Of what?" Jungkook asked but he didn't get an answer, in fact, Autumn remained quiet for so long that Jungkook was sure that she wasn't going to say another word again until she spoke up.
"You're mafia, aren't you?" Autumn asked quietly as she looked up and Jungkook locked eyes with her. The question was quite random but also expected and Jungkook didn't have it in him to lie to her.
"Hmm." He answered confirming her suspicion.
"I'm scared of finding out about the things I've done and also about the things that were done to me." Autumn finally answered turning her head so she was looking out the window again. "What's it like?" She asked again.
"What?" Jungkook questioned not sure what she was talking about.
"The sky, it must be filled with a lot of stars right? It'll be nice to take a walk." Autumn said a small smile gracing her lips and Jungkook looked out the window as well.
"No, there's not a single star out there tonight, just the moon." Jungkook informed her and the smile disappeared from her lips as she pouted. "But we can still take a walk if you want to." He said and the smile was back on her face once more.
With a chuckle, Jungkook grabbed onto the hand that Autumn extended to him and gently lifted her to her feet, with his hand on the small of her back he led her out of the house and into the garden for a walk.
"Just a sec." Autumn said as soon as they were outside, slowly she slid her hand over his chest to his shoulder gripping him there and Jungkook stared down at her in confusion as his heart suddenly began beating faster.
"What are you doing?" Jungkook asked as Autumn raised a foot in the air and nearly tripped over her own feet forcing Jungkook to pull her close as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Now steady on her feet Jungkook realized that Autumn simply wanted to take her shoes off but the confusion still remained, almost as if she could feel his gaze on her Autumn smiled shyly.
"I wanted to feel the grass under my feet." Autumn explained and Jungkook nodded slowly detangling himself from her. As they walked Jungkook kept a safe distance from her but not so much that he wouldn't be able to reach her if she tripped or were to fall. "This feels nice." Autumn whispered after a while spreading her hands in the air as the cool night breeze washed over her.
"Is it?" Jungkook asked and Autumn gave a nod. "Should I have Esther bring you out for walks every night?" He asked but Autumn shook her head.
"It's alright, I should start learning to do things on my own." Autumn said and Jungkook was truly surprised by her response.
"I'll admit, I didn't expect you to be out and about so soon given what happened to you." Jungkook started off tentatively not wanting to spark any unwanted memories for her.
"I'm sure I would have still been locking myself away if I actually remembered what happened to me." Autumn said nodding along in agreement. "For a while, all I knew was that I had to protect myself, I didn't know from who or what, but every time I heard a sound I knew that something bad would happen. I guess it was my fight instinct acting but then I got here and you've been so kind to me, suddenly I don't remember what I'm supposed to be afraid of anymore, losing my memory doesn't help either." Autumn explained and for a while, Jungkook just observed her in silence.
"I won't force you if you don't want to remember. You could go on living like this in complete oblivion, start over a new life." Jungkook said and Autumn smiled remembering that Celine had said the same thing.
"I've already started this, I should at least make an effort to finish it. Besides what good would running away do when I can't rid my mind of its nightmares?" Autumn said and Jungkook had to admit that she was right. How does one go about fighting the demons that live inside them, even he was yet to figure that out?
"I close my eyes and the nightmare never stops, when I wake up I find myself reaching for something but I don't know what it is." Autumn continued slowly dragging her feet over the grass. Jungkook sighed knowing exactly what that feeling was and without thinking, he reached for his gun tucked in his waistband and stared at it.
"Here." Jungkook said wrapping her hands around the SVG handgun and Autumn's fingers tightened around it as she realized what she was holding. "Keep it under your pillow, it'll keep the monsters away." He said with a smile and Autumn laughed as she nodded. She knew it wouldn't really drive away her monsters but he was giving her something else, assurance.
The next morning Autumn was surprised when Esther walked into her room and told her that they were getting ready for church. She didn't know why but Autumn had assumed that Jungkook and the others didn't believe in God or attend mass because of the kind of life they lived so she was quite surprised when Esther, Jungkook, Celine, Atlas, and Thomas were all gathered downstairs ready to go to church.
"I didn't know you believe in God." Autumn whispered silently next to Jungkook on their way to the church in the car.
"I don't." Jungkook answered. "But my mother used to make us go to church every Sunday no matter what. She said that we were already living such dangerous lives, our hands always covered in blood every single day. She wanted us to have one good day like any normal person, go to church and cleanse ourselves of our sins, be human even if it was just for a single day. That's why we go to church, that's why we don't kill on Sundays."
Autumn had remained quiet after that. In church they prayed and sang during mass, they listened to the pastor preach and received his blessings, each of them silently praying and asking for something even though they didn't believe, even though they knew it would never come true. When mass was finally over Esther was helping Autumn out of the church when Thomas put a hand on the older lady's arm stopping her movement.
"What is it?" Atlas asked and Thomas lifted his chin towards a direction and they all looked up to see what he was talking about.
"Esther, please use the back door and get Autumn out of here." Celine quietly demanded as Jungkook stood in front of Autumn blocking her from the view of Prosecutor Lincoln that was currently walking towards them. Without wasting time Esther turned the other way her grip on Autumn tight as she led the confused girl out of the room. Autumn was a sensitive case and until they figured out who she was they couldn't have someone like Lincoln knowing about her existence.
"Prosecutor Lincoln, a pleasure to see you again. You always bring me so much joy – as soon as you leave the room." Jungkook said sarcastically with a huge smile and Lincoln couldn't help but laugh as he came to a stop in front of four of them.
"I hate to disappoint but I plan on being around for a very long time so you might as well just get comfortable." Lincoln retorted giving all three of them a look and Thomas rolled his time.
"Lincoln you have your entire life to be a jerk, why not take today off huh?" Celine asked and then they all moved to walk past him but the prosecutor didn't let them get very far.
"You know I never could understand one very important thing." Lincoln started and Jungkook stopped making the others stop with him and then he turned. "We all know nothing moves in and out of Chicago without your knowledge but not once have you interfered with the drug trade business and now all of a sudden word has it that you're planning to get into the mix."
"Is there a point to all the shit that's coming out of your ass?" Thomas asked with an arched brow.
"Tommy, we're in church." Jungkook calmly reprimanded and Lincoln smiled.
"Yu Jin Jung, South Korean drug cartel." Lincoln said and it took all their willpower for them not to stiffen at the mention of the name. "Your man Miran was seen sniffing around Annex and their business, now what do you have to say about that?" Lincoln asked smugly and Jungkook looked up a certain chill in his stare that would make most men shiver.
"How's your little girl doing Lincoln?" Jungkook asked instead and this time it was Lincoln's turn to stiffen as his eyes widened. "Precious little thing, isn't she turning five next month?" Jungkook asked casually as he looked at Thomas.
"She is, she's a strong one that Maddison, says she wants to be the first female president of the United States can you believe that?" Thomas asked looking over at his companions as he chuckled. Enraged Lincoln closed the distance between them and grabbed Jungkook by the throat.
"You bastard!" The prosecutor growled out and the few remaining in the church turned to look at them as they whispered. "You lay a hand on my daughter and I will end you myself, do you understand?" Lincoln raged out in anger but Jungkook just gave him a sadistic smile as he forcibly detangled himself from the other man and then ran his hand through his hair.
"Have a good day prosecutor, say hi to your little girl for me." Jungkook said with a chuckle as he turned and left the seething prosecutor behind him.
*****
Hope you all are having a wonderful day!
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