eight
The bags under Lottie's eyes were getting worse, every night she had a nightmare, either about A, Toby or Ali. All ended up with her screaming herself awake. She was even thinking of staying alone in her mom's house (who had pushed her end date back again even after her accident).
Late arriving to Spencer's, Lottie picked up her pace walking round to the back door.
"Sorry" she excused herself setting her bag down.
"You're just in time to see it" Aria said standing by a large box.
"God that's big" Lottie comment, while the others removed the lid.
Inside was a birdbath, with six figures along the edge. One for each them.
"It's beautiful" Aria smiled.
"Pedestal's already out there, next to the bench. This goes up Friday morning, " Spencer told everyone.
"Do you think Jason will like it?" Emily asked.
"He's coming?" Lottie asked shocked.
Hanna nodded, "we're were just saying before you came".
Lottie smiled, "He's gonna love it".
"And for years, people are gonna see this memorial, and that's all they'll ever know about Ali. She'll be the girl that they dedicated the bench to. And we'll all be gone, but Ali will still be remembered" Aria said.
"That's immortality, my darlings" Spencer quoted.
it was summer, too warm if Lottie was honest. She was drying her hair after swimming in the lake. "i wish we could just choose the age that we wanted to be and just stay there" Aria said.
"The only way to to that is to die young, leave a beautiful corpse" Ali replied.
"Don't joke" Emily relied.
"It's not a joke" she said turning to everyone. "Oh come on. Haven't you guys ever thought about how deliciously tragic it would be to die in some incredibly mysterious way? That would be superior".
"Is that really how you want to go, Alison?" Spencer asked.
Alison shrugged, "Not just yet".
"You shouldn't talk like that" Lottie commented.
"It's gruesome" Aria added.
"I was gonna say it's tempting fate" Lottie frowned.
"It's not gruesome or tempting fate. It's immortality my darlings".
"Where did she get that from? A movie?" Aria asked.
"Ali was a movie" Spencer laughed.
♡
"Have you heard from her at all?" Owen question Lottie over breakfast, her mom had gone from calling with updates to just texting, it was normal for her mom to forget to call while working.
"nope" Lottie shook her head, "Is it that much trouble having me full time?" she joked.
Owen sat down, drinking his coffee, "Of course not, honey, but we agreed to 50 / 50 and this could look like I'm keeping you away from your mum".
"You're a cop can't you call someone" she asked.
"I was planning on trying to get full custody, you would still get to see your mom whenever you'd like but his would be easier for us all" he explained.
"Okay" she shrugged, "I've gotta run, Jason is coming to Spencer's to talk about them memorial.
Facing away from her stood a man in a suit, "Hi. Sorry I'm late, my dad needed to talk to me" she smiled. The man turned around to face her. Jason?
"There she is!" Jason called to her. He hugged her, Hanna smirked and raised an brow. Shyly she hugged him back.
"No problem" he smiled, "I was just saying you've done some lovely work on the memorial. I might have done one or two things differently, but we can adjust that along the way". He gave everyone a piece of paper. "Here's a copy of the program for the dedication.
"Oh I emailed you the program that we worked up" Spencer said.
"Right. I saw the draft this just fine-tunes it" Jason explained. "If Shelly Leonard's gonna play something, I don't think we can give her more than three minutes. I remember she's somewhat of a showboat with that cello ".
Jason stopped and looked at the picture they had all picked out. "Is this the picture for the program? " he asked holding it up.
"Yeah" Lottie nodded, "It all our favourite".
Jason smiled looking down at the picture, "It's the one I would have picked. I thought I was gonna be able to get my whole family out here, but you know at the last minute, my mom..." he stopped chuckling at himself. "It's crazy talking about this, isn't it?".
They all nodded.
"When I think about her, I think about you, the six of you, in her bedroom, laughing, keeping secrets. Long time ago" he stopped talking for a moment eyes locked with the picture. "I want each of you to speak" he said again looking up.
Lottie stopped herself from pulling a face. She didn't know what nice things she could say, her happy memories of Ali were more faded than ever.
"What about the rain?" Jason's question brought her back to the conversation.
"The rain?" she asked confused.
"40% chance before the weekend" he said.
"Oh they said we can use the school's multipurpose room, if we have to move the ceremony inside" Spencer told Jason.
"Great" he said flatly. "People think this dedication is about closure. There won't be closure until they find out who did this to Alison. The cops in this town have been jerking my family around for more than a year. No more of that. I'm here to get some action and this memorial is gonna help me get it"
The girls looked at each, all stunned.
"Oh and I'm adding one speaker to the program" Jason wrote something down.
"Jenna?" Lottie chocked on a breath. "Why?" she asked clearing her throat.
"She asked me if she could" he explained.
"Jenna asked to speak" Emily asked, while Lottie held back a nervous laugh.
"Is there a problem?" Jason asked.
"It just didn't occur to us that Alison and Jenna were that close" Spencer covered for everyone.
"Yeah, I didn't know either. Jenna called and said my sister was a lot of help to her after her accident" Jason said.
Lottie stared at him questioning if she was dreaming.
"Well concentrate on what you're gonna say. Leave the rest of it to me. Now i'm going to talk with Detective Wilden and find out why they haven't located Toby yet " .
Lottie teased up hearing his name. Where ever Toby was she hoped they wouldn't find him. After Jason left the room with Spencer, they all took in what just happened.
"Did we just get fired?" Hanna asked loudly.
"I don't know but he's sure more attractive than he was last time i saw him" Lottie said.
"Shh! keep it down" Aria hissed at Hanna and Lottie.
"Why is he talking to Jenna?" Emily asked.
"To fuck with us" Lottie suggested.
"What does she have to say?" Emily asked again.
Aria sighed, "This is turning into a nightmare".
As soon as Spencer came back, everyone threw the same question at her. "what else did he say?".
"Nothing. He just kept smiling like he was running for office".
"Spence, why does Jenna want to speak at the dedication?" Aria asked.
Hanna followed up with, "Why does Jason want her there? I mean he clearly knows they weren't friends. "
"Again to fuck with us" Lottie said.
"We can't let Jenna speak" Emily commented.
"Well, how are we gonna stop her without looking like bitches?" Aria asked.
Lottie held up her hand, "I'll lock her in a cupboard. I don't mind looking like a bitch".
Hanna was about to speak, Lottie hoped to agree.
"Guys" Spencer said firmly, "How are we gonna stop her at all, in case you guys didn't notices, we just got patted on the the head and sent off to play" Spencer pointed out.
"Again" Lottie said, "The cupboard".
"You need to stay on top of him" Hanna told her. "Find out what's going on".
"Why me?" Spencer asked.
"Because you're the big organizer. You've got the laptop of all knowledge, and he's gonna need some of that".
"If she gets up there, there's nothing to spot her from talking about the accident" Lottie said. "All the things we have ever done out in the open".
♡
Lottie was right. She had no idea what to write for Ali's dedication.
Ali was....
She tapped her pen against the paper and thought.
Ali was a monster who made everyone miserable and I don't believe anyone really misses her. I'm know fore sure I don't.
That would be one way to out herself as a bitch. And you can't hate a dead girl or not out loud at least. And now with the Toby rumours she couldn't been seen as a bitch. She remembered that day at the lake and how she had spoken to Toby.
Noel's parties were always the best, the idea of absent parents was amazing to everyone. The parties at lake house were the ones she loved the most. Lottie liked them because the lake was beautiful during the summer.
She didn't care about a tan, sitting by the lake enjoying the sun.
Emily once made a comment saying she should join the swimming team but she thought making it all about winning would take the fun out of it.
Stopping at the other side of the lake she looked behind her, all her friends were busy laughing at something Ali said. Lottie frowned, Ali attention was starting to fall onto the friend group, especially Hanna. The others too, it was like she had something over all of them. Even Lottie had trusted Alison with something.
Leaves being crushed startled her. She turned quickly in the water, the water splashing out. Toby sheepishly stood there.
"Jesus" she called, splashing to keep herself afloat. "What are you doing all the way out here?".
He shrugged, he was looking to the other side of the lake.
"If you wanna be left alone, I'll go" she said.
"How can you be friends with someone like her" he said.
Lottie shrugged this time, "The others come with the package".
He nodded, but she could tell he didn't really understand.
It was like Ali always knew she would die young, she shaped her whole life around being an unforgettable story.
Her phone deeped.
SUBJECT. THE DEDICATION - DO IT RIGHT. I'LL BE WATCHING. JUST LIKE TOM SAWYER -A
"Who the hell is Tom Sawyer?" Lottie asked out loud to herself.
♡
"Well that was painless" Jason said, while leaving the principal's office with Spencer and Lottie.
"Not for principal Hartman" Spencer muttered.
"He means well, but he needs to know who's in charge" Jason replied.
"I think we all know that" Lottie murmured.
"Okay, is there a problem?" Jason asked.
"There's no problem. You're Alison's brother. You should have the final say" Lottie spoke, "But you're not the only one dealing with this" she finished.
"See, there's that closed door again. The secrets of the girls all cuddled up in Alison's bedroom. Do you think that means you knew her better than I did?" Jason asked.
"No. It just means we knew her in a different way" Lottie said defending herself and Spencer.
Wilden followed by two men rounded the corner and stopped at Toby's locker.
"What are they doing?" Spencer asked.
"That's Toby's locker" Lottie pointed out.
Jason walked straight over to him, "Detective Wilden".
Wilden looked at everyone then smiled, "You'll find this interesting. We're having a look in Toby Cavanaugh's locker". Lottie tensed. She had no idea where Toby kept the letters she had wrote him.
"Why? Do you think he's hiding in there?" Jason asked in a mocking tone.
"He's a suspect" Wilden said. Spencer looked worried over to Lottie who was doing her best to stay standing.
"Well, your investigation better turn up more Toby Cavanaugh's old gym socks" Jason said.
"You made it quite clear the other day you weren't happy with the pace of the investigation. You said you wanted action. I'm trying to give that to you" Wilden explained.
"Yeah, you've got nothing. I realized that yesterday" Jason stated.
"Sometimes, Jason we withhold information on the progress of an investigation to avoid any interruptions" Wilden said.
"The only reason you're tearing this kid's locker apart is because he's not around to object" Jason argued.
"Toby Cavanaugh called your sister's cell phone the night she disappeared. I checked the phone records. She took the call" Wilden told Jason.
♡
"Spencer just texted and said she'd be back soon" Lottie told Jason.
"Everything done then?" he asked.
Lottie nodded, "I think, I'll be glad when this is all over".
"The dedication or what happened to Ali" Jason asked.
"Both" Lottie admitted, "It's been a long year".
"You've changed a lot over the year" he said.
Lottie looked up, thrown off. "Yeah, I guess I have".
"I like it" he said, throwing her off again. "It's different".
She did finally feel at home in her own skin, not just a copy of Alison, even though it was easy that way. Ali would shudder seeing her now. Lottie blushed as he moved the pile of papers that was between them and moved closer.
"You've changed too" she told him. "Very different" she joked.
"Good or bad different" he asked. She shook her head and laughed. "Go on" he encouraged her.
"It's embarrassing".
"Go on. Please" he begged.
"Fine" she laughed, "It's good but I liked your old look too, Honestly I used to have a crush on you, you were Ali's moody older brother and I loved it".
He laughed.
"God. I told you in was embarrassing" she laughed. He laughed again but a little softer. She laughed a scoff, "Keep this between us okay? I'd never hear the end of it if the girls found out.
"Swear" he nodded still grinning.
She stared at his face, "fuck it" she murmured to herself, leaning forward she kissed him. She wasn't even sure why she did it other than she felt like it. Jason automatically put his hands on her cheeks pulling her closer. Lottie climbed onto him, pushing him to lay down.
His hands moved to her hips keeping her still. His lips tasted like coffee, Jason unbuttoned her jeans. Lottie started to think everyone was right, she must be mad, why else would she be kissing Jason.
Ali's older brother Jason.
On Spencer's sofa.
Her hands were undoing his tie, reaching for the buttons next, one then two then as she reached for the third a car door open and shut, Jason heard too releasing his hold on her hips. Without speaking they both parted. Jason sat up and fixed his shirt and Lottie ran behind the kitchen counter pulling open the fridge. Letting the cold cool her face.
Spencer walked into the kitchen putting something down on the counter and sighed. Lottie cringed at the silence. "Everything good?" Spencer asked, drawing closely to Lottie.
She smiled and nodded too fast. Spencer frowned looking at Lottie then Jason, Lottie was sure she was busted when Jason spoke.
"You know you were the only one" Jason said, Lottie and Spencer both looked at him waiting for him to continued. "Whoever really challenged Alison" he said looking at Spencer. Lottie frowned at where he was heading. Jason carried on, "I remember hearing the two of you getting in each other's grills a couple of times. Kept waiting for the catfight but... never happened. "
"What exactly are you saying?" Lottie asked.
"Nothing really" Jason shrugged.
Spencer didn't seem phased just intrigued. "Who do you think killed Alison?".
"The police like Toby Cavanaugh. If they can't find him, they'll start liking someone else" Jason told her .
Lottie hoped they would.
"Just someone, or someone in particular?" Spencer asked, worried starting to take over. Lottie kept her composure, looking at Spencer from the corner of her eye.
"Does it really matter?" Jason asked.
"Of course it does! " Lottie started, "You want closure, why should someone innocent go down?".
"My mom still needs pills to get to sleep. When they don't work, you can hear her walking around the house at three in the morning. You think you're ever really gonna have closure?" he asked. Lottie and Spencer looked at each other. "I mean, aren't you always going to be "the friend of that girl who was murdered"?" he asked.
"Just like you'll always be her brother?" Spencer relied.
Jason nodded, "That's how people will see us. They solve it or they don't. That's not going to chance, so I guess it doesn't really matter".
"But what about justice?" Spencer asked.
Jason smirked, "You don't really want to bring justice into this, do you?".
"Why not?" Lottie asked feeling ill.
"Alison told me about the fire" Jason told them. Lottie couldn't stop herself from looking to Spencer panicked. "About how you said the five of you should all go over and teach Toby a lesson". Lottie frowned, blinking. "How you got the stink bomb and convinced the rest of the girls to back you up. How you even threatened Toby if he told the truth".
Lottie's head snapped towards Jason, "She lied!". Spencer shook her head at her.
"It's what she told me" Jason confirmed.
"Did you believe her?" Spencer asked. Jason was quite, he just looked at Spencer. "You are just like Alison, aren't you?" Spencer spat.
"In some ways, even worse" Jason told her.
After Jason left, Spencer sent a SOS text to the others, when they arrived Spencer and Lottie told them about what Jason said. "Wait, so she tried to pin it on you?" Hanna asked.
Lottie nodded, "That's what she told Jason".
"But why Spencer?" Emily asked.
"Because Spencer could stand up to her, and Alison didn't like that" Aria replied.
"God. This is officially insane!" Hanna exclaimed.
"Is that what she told Jenna when she was at the hospital?" Emily asked.
"I don't know" Spencer told her. She covered and uncovered her face. "I mean, I don't think so, But I don't know".
"Okay, so one minute, she's trying to cover it up and the next she's ratting us out to her brother?" Aria questioned.
"Like she wanted Jason to know the fake story in case anything happened to her" Emily said.
"Why?" Hanna asked.
Lottie swallowed, "So they'd have someone to blame".
"God" Aria cried while everyone else was too shocked to speak. "This is still Alison's movie, and we are just filling up the screen".
♡
The next day was the memorial and the worry hadn't passed the girls yet. They were all waiting for Jason to drop the second shoe and for the police to come rushing through the doors to take them away.
Spencer was the first person to reach the podium. Shock came over her face, everyone turned to see what Spencer was looking at. "Ian?" Aria spoke.
"Wait- Melissa's Ian?" Hanna asked.
Lottie nodded , muttering a yes.
Spencer cleared her throat, putting attention back. "I can't not remember not knowing Alison, not having her as a friend. She was the first person I knew long enough that I felt I could be angry without worrying that I was gonna lose her. It made me feel like something was gonna last, and you need that, especially when you're a kid. She would have liked that you were all here. She would have liked the attention. No, actually she would have loved the attention. It would have made her laugh. And Alison laughing..... that was amazing".
Hanna went up next.
"Friends can be hard on you. Maybe they expect more from you than strangers. Strangers pretty much see you the way you want them to see you, but you can't fool friends. That's what makes them friends".
Emily followed Hanna.
"That corner of the park is going to be a safe place, where you can go and sit, read a book, and just think. You should think of Alison while you're there. She'd want to make sure you didn't forget about her".
Aria was next.
"When you do something like this, a memorial. it's partly because you don't understand what's happened. So, you plant flowers and you paint tiles, and somewhere in the middle of all that work, you stop crying. I guess that's the point.
Lottie took a deep breath and took Aria's place.
"When you lose someone it feels like you've lost a part of yourself. And you wonder how can you be without them, it doesn't matter if they were good or bad for you, they were apart of you. After Alison died, I lost more than just a part of me, I lost a part of everything I knew, you don't realise you built so much of yourself around someone until there gone. But slowly over time that gap heals but you always know it's there, that's the love, love is what stays".
Hanna held her hand tight when she sat down. She turned to where Jason was sat with Jenna, she hadn't looked or talked to him since the night at Spencer's. The second he looked, she looked away. She knew she should tell her friends, that she had to tell them.
Lottie eyes stayed on Jenna as Jason helped her to the front, she glanced over to the others who were doing the same.
"We think we know who we are but we don't" she started. "not until something bad happens to us, and then all the useless things fall away, and we're left with who we really are. I learnt that from Alison DiLaurentis. My whole life, I thought I knew who she was, but I found out the truth when she came and talked to me at the hospital. I found out that she was the strongest person that I had ever met. And It's her strength that touched so many people. Shaped them. That's her real legacy. That's how her memory will endure, in the action of those she inspired in so many different ways. From all of us.... Thank you, Alison".
♡
"I need sugar" Hanna sighed, walking into Spencer's kitchen. Lottie kept her eyes down, the fall out they were all expecting didn't happen which was good but she was still left with her newest secret. A kiss. A damn kiss was her newest deadly secret.
"That was my folks" Jason said putting his phone away. He waited to speak again like the words hurt him. "They say thanks". Again he waited, "so do i".
"You're welcome" Emily said with an equal level of awkwardness.
"And I want you girls to have something" Jason spoke reaching into his inside jacket pocket. "The police returned this to my family. I think you should have it" .
He placed Ali's bracelet on to the table. The same one that was hidden somewhere in the same house where they all stood.
"The police gave that to you?" Lottie questioned, clearing her throat. It was the first time she had spoke directly to him.
"Alison was wearing it" Jason said.
"You mean when they found her?" Hanna asked shocked.
Aria picked up the bracelet studying it carefully. "After listening today, I just thought you should have it" he told them. He turned to Spencer, while the others were looking uneasy to Aria. "I'll be in touch".
Lottie watched him leave the room, and when his foot steps sounded far enough away she took the bracelet from Aria. "If this is Alison's bracelet, what about the one we found in the woods?" Lottie asked.
"I don't know" Aria breathed.
"Someone made a copy of Alison's bracelet" Hanna said.
"Yeah, and made sure that we would find it" Spencer added.
A/N I don't know how this one is so big, kinda did a lazy edit so idk how good this is