I couldn't really fall asleep the next morning knowing that i was going to get my dark mark when i woke up.
So when i woke up to the sound of Tip scratching her cage to be let out, i almost started panicking. I didn't want to look at my arm.
That was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.
Sirius once told me that no one stops being a death eater. Which means I'll have this stupid fucking mark on my arm forever. It'll be on my body when i die. Sirius would probably be so disappointed in me. So would my parents.
Whenever that thought crosses my mind i feel like vomiting.
I got up out of my bed and walked to the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror.
I put out my left arm, my hand shaking as i was about to roll up my sleeve.
I closed my eyes while lifting the sleeve of my hoodie.
There it was. Four inches on my four arm was a skull with a snake going through it, imprinted into my skin in black ink.
I wanted to take a knife and cut my arm right off. But theres no turning back now.
I didn't feel like being depressed and looking like a zombie today like I usually do. So after getting dressed i curled my hair again and did my makeup.
Even though I'm most likely gonna cry it all off by the end of the day.
I could feel the pulse in my left four arm beating through my skin as I walked out of the common room, Pansy following behind me.
"Have you seen Draco or Blaise at all?" She asked in a disgusted tone.
"I don't know Pansy, they probably left." I replied, coldly. The last thing i need is to talk to Pansy Parkinson first thing in the morning.
"Well, could you tell them to come find me after breakfast? We have something we need to take care of." She insisted.
My eyes grew wide. Shes not a death eater, right? I know she wouldn't hesitate to kill me if the dark lord offered her something she wants.
"What do you need to take care of?" I asked, my heart race increasing.
There was a sudden pause in our conversation before she responded.
"Theyre my partners for a herbology project, duh."
I felt a wave of relief flow through me. I remembered how I flunked out of herbology this year to focus more on defence against the dark arts and potions.
Pansy gave me a concerned look before flicking her hair behind her shoulder and walking away.
When she was out of my sight, I noticed Harry running towards me.
"Mara, Rons in the hospital wing." Harry panted.
"Uhh- what?!"
"Cmon, follow me." He insisted grabbing my arm and dragging me to the hospital wing. I noticed my sleeve rolling up and a bit of the mark was showing. I pulled my arm away and followed him until we where there.
I saw Ron all bandaged up, laying in a hospital bed. Hermione was sitting in a chair next to him. She looked devastated.
"What happened to him?" I asked.
"He had an accidental love spell put on him which led to Slughorn poisoning him to get it out of his system. He was basically drunk for a while and fell off the couch and got a concussion." Harry explained.
I tried to hold back laughter. Of course i feel bad that Ron got hurt but that's absolutely hilarious.
Suddenly a slightly familiar face of a girl, rushed into the room.
"Where is he? Wheres my won won? Has he been asking for me?" Shrieked the girl. I remembered her name as Lavender Brown. The annoying little girl thats Rons been dating.
I've known her for years and never really liked her. We where partners for a project once and she made me do the whole thing. And in the end she got the same mark as me.
Lavender looked at Hermione and i in pure discuss.
"What are they doing here?" She asked, pathetically.
"I might ask you the same question!" Said Hermione, standing up from her chair.
"I happen to be his girlfriend! Im sure if Ron where awake he would tell you girls to leave so i think you should-"
"Lavender, I don't know who the hell you think you are but you're not going to tell us what to do. Our friend is hurt and we're here to be here for him so deal with it or leave." I interrupted.
She looked highly offended. But didn't respond.
I noticed Blaise standing in the frame of the door. The hells he doing here? Once he saw me he signalled me to go over there.
"Uh guys, i got to go. Tell Ron i say hi when he wakes up." I added, leaving the room with Blaise.
"What do you want." I asked, in an annoyed voice.
"Katie Bell is back from the hospital. Says she wants to talk to you." Blaise explained.
"Why me? She doesn't even know me."
"No idea." Blaise replied as I followed him to the great hall.
Once we got there, i saw Katie standing around all her friends. She left them and walked over to me immediately when she saw me.
"Why' hello Mara. How was your day?" She asked in a kind voice.
"Fine. Uhh why did you want to see me?" I replied, trying to sound as nice as her.
Katie looked around for a moment to make sure no one was listening to our conversation.
"When i was getting cursed that day. I saw you. I saw you on the astronomy tower with Draco Malfoy, professor Snape, and a few other adults. You pulled out your wand and preformed the killing curse." Katie explained.
My heart started to beat out of my chest.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.
"Well, i was going to tell professor Snape but I figured i trust you more. I sent an owl to my mother explaining what i saw since I didn't know who else to tell. She told me i could have been hallucinating. But I've heard things about accidentally seeing into the future when your being cursed." She continued.
"So you saw me kill someone?"
"Its okay, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I know it didn't happen yet and your probably just as scared as i am."
"Katie, please i need you to not tell anyone that you saw that. You promise?" I pleaded.
"Of course. I promise." She replied.
I noticed Harry suddenly came up to us, joining the conversation.
"Katie, have you heard anything on who did that to you?" Harry asked, impatiently.
"I don't know who cursed me. I've been trying to remember, i just cant." Katie lied. I know she was only doing that so that she didn't have to explain to Harry what she saw, since that would be a dead give away.
Katie suddenly focused on something behind Harry and i. We both turned around in sync to see Draco standing far away from us. I could barley see his face, but i could clearly sense he was scared.
"Mara, go get him please." Harry insisted. As Draco quickly walked away.
Once i got around the corner I noticed Draco was walking to the bathroom. Dammit, i cant go in there.
I peaked into the bathroom and saw him at the sink, splashing water on his face.
It was clear that he was crying. He looked up and saw me in the mirror. He turned around and pointed his wand at me.
"Ruducto!" He shouted.
I tried to dodge the spell by ducking, but it was to late. The strong flow blew me back. I felt like i had just been shot with a bullet proof vest on.
He ran behind the stalls.
I put my wand under the stall wall to cast a spell but before i could, he did the same.
"Expelliarmus." He whispered. My wand flew out of my hand and landed meters away. Holy shit he's good.
I crawled towards my wand and picked it up. I put it under the stall and whispered.
"Ruducto."
He flew harshly against the wall. I couldn't see it but i heard it, and it sounded painful. I didn't want to hurt him but he started this. Now we're fighting in a fucking bathroom.
We both put our wands under the stall at the same time.
"Stupify-"
"Expelliarmus!"
Somehow his spell worked more powerfully then mine. My wand flew into the hallway, far out of my reach.
Draco came from behind the stall, with his wand pointed at my throat. He kept walking closer til my back was at the wall.
I felt the tip of his wand touch my throat, pressing hard.
"You wanna continue fighting? Or do you wanna leave." He argued.
"Put your wand down." I demanded, since the pressure was starting to hurt my throat. He pressed even harder causing more pain.
I gasped for air when suddenly Draco's eyes begun to water. He slid his wand across the floor and sat down, leaning against the wall.
I sat down next to him, putting my head into my arms and knee's.
"Why the fuck did we just do that." I asked, even though I wasn't really asking.
He ignored me. I put my head up to see him trying so hard to hold back tears.
"I remember at the beginning of fifth year on the train. You promised me you would never hurt me if someone forced you too. But now... now you just do it for fun." I explained, my eyes filling with tears as well.
"I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted to feel powerful." He replied, letting the tears fall from his eyes.
There was a long pause before I responded with the thing ive been wanting to say all year to him.
"I miss the old you, Draco. When i saw you at Diagon Ally you weren't the Draco I've known for six years, you where someone else. But i was never expecting you to change so fast, especially when i needed you." I explained. My voice was cracky and dry.
Draco wiped away his tears and took a deep breath.
"My father told me the task that the Dark Lord has given you. And i know you don't have it in you and you're most likely not going to succeed because you have a good heart unlike me. But i failed the task that i needed Katie for. And if the dark lord wants to punish me he's gonna take it out on the things i care about and I'm trying to make sure thats not you."
I tried to sink in all of that at once. Not gonna lie it took me a while of thinking.
"So your trying to stop caring about me because if Voldamorts mad at you he's gonna hurt me infront of you?"
Draco nodded.
Hm. So thats why he's been so cold to me all year.
I started tearing up again.
"Mar, i think i l..." he stopped himself from talking.
"What?"
"Fuck, nevermind."
Oh god. Now I'm tearing up. All i want is the old Draco back. The Draco that would comfort me when I'm sad, the Draco that would blow people off to see me, the Draco that would help me with my homework even if I didn't ask, the Draco that always seemed happier when i was with him.
The Draco i fell inlove with.