Eden PoV
Now that I had the attention of both of my brothers I wanted answers. No, in fact I needed them and I wasn't going to let them leave this room until I got them.
Plus I had my mates here for support and if it came down to it I knew they'd use force to assist me in my purpose of knowledge. It wasn't fair or kind but apparently our life had been neither of those things so they were probably used to it by now.
"I need to know what happened to me. I need to know what I am. Who I am. I deserve that. I need that" my voice was barely a whisper as I repeatedly " I need that"
There was a part of me that didn't really want to know the truth. But deep down I knew that I could never be my truest self and be a good person and a good mother until I understood my childhood.
It was clear that there were things I needed to deal with from my past so that my future was not constantly overshadowed by the dark cloud that had lurked over me all this time.
"Not right now" Sawyer said as he offered me a soft smile like he was trying to diffuse the tension in the air.
"Please" That one word came out like a plea.
But it fell upon deaf ears. Both of my brothers looked at me, then each other and if I didn't know better I'd have said they'd been mind linking but could a person in limbo still mindlink?! Goddess I had so many questions to ask about limbo.
"As important as this conversation is, right now isn't the time Eden" Cole finally spoke. There was an element of annoyance to his voice, it was like he was fed up with dealing with a petulant child that kept on asking the same things over and over again.
His attitude just made me want to dig my feet in even deeper on this matter and I couldn't help the scold that shadowed my face.
"Cole's right Ede, we have much greater things to deal with at the moment. We don't have the luxury of time to sit around and go over our messed up childhood" Sawyer stood up next to Cole and it was clear that as far as they were concerned this conversation was over.
They both made their way towards the door. Not that Sawyer actually needs to use the door when he'd just materialised from nowhere.
So freaking weird! At least it would have been if I hadn't been so bloody angry.
I had slowly unravelled until I was close to a breaking point. The moment Cole opened the door a part of me snapped. I felt beyond furious and frustrated.
I gripped my hair at the roots and felt like ripping it all out in sheer frustration and wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But instead of yelling out my feelings the door handle escaped Cole's grip and the door slammed shut so hard the walls shook.
"Well that's interesting" Blake exclaimed as he turned to Jace and widened his eyes to display his surprise. Jace just shrugged in complete shock.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me right now" I muttered and rolled my eyes at the way they were behaving. "So fucking selfish" I added more to myself than anyone else. My actions had barely registered as my anger overwhelmed me.
"Excuse me?" Cole furrowed his brows in surprise at my words and had the audacity to sound like I was in the wrong somehow. "I'm fucking selfish?" He scoffed and shook his head before he looked at Sawyer for his reaction.
"We should just leave and that way we can all clear our heads" Sawyer suggested and I saw the torn expression on his face as his eyes darted between me and Cole.
"Well Cole's great at that isn't he?!" I barked out a humourless laugh unable to hold myself back from saying such a scathing comment even if it was the truth.
"Eden" Sawyer tried to reel me in but I was too far gone.
Luckily my mates weren't stupid enough to try a similar trick or maybe they thought I had a right to know the truth.
"Go on Cole, the doors there, pack your shit up and leave. Cos that's what you do when things get too much for you isn't it? You just up and leave everyone else to deal with it!" My mouth had gone on a mindless rampage and each comment seemed to be more harsh than the last. With every word I spoke my tone became more and more bitter.
"Eden that's enough"Sawyer said more firmly and my eyes honed in on him.
"You always were his fucking lapdog. Whatever Cole says goes huh? Was it his idea to let our father cut you to pieces until you were dead? Cos that's what he did you know?! He butchered you like an animal and he laughed as he videoed it. Then he sent me it from you and wished me a happy birthday just as he had your lifeless,bloodied and battered body hung from the tree outside my front door. Happy birthday Eden,here's your dead brother as a birthday gift, lots of love dad" hot furious tears flowed freely down my face now.
"It wasn't Cole's idea. I knew it was always a big risk but I kept going back so there is only myself to blame" Sawyer insisted suddenly unable to look at me.
He focused his eyes down at his boots like they were the most interesting things in the world. "I'm so fucking sorry you had to see that shit though. I didn't think he'd do something like that" he apologised, his voice was raw and full of regret.
"Eden I'm so sorry you had to see that stuff, I can't imagine what it was like, honestly I can't" Cole implored as he shook his head in dismay at the horror of it all.
"But that's just it Cole, I've been seeing that kinda shit since I was a kid. I know that wasn't a dream I had. I remember it all now. Everytime they hurt you and Sawyer. Your body burnt to cinders yet you were still alive. I remember the smell of your charred skin, the way you wheezed with every breath you struggled to take" zi was beyond grateful when my mates silently took one of my hands in their much larger ones. The comfort that small gesture gave me was what I needed to continue and get this out at last.
"Sawyer, fuck I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it, shit the way they'd cut into you over and over again until all I could smell was blood. I could taste it in the air, but mostly I remember the haunting way you both tried to subdue your sobs of agony to spare me" my anger had dissipated into absolute sorrow and sadness.
I also felt an overwhelming, yet familiar wash of guilt sweep over me again like a never ending high tide. An ocean of guilt ate me alive because I didn't get hurt, not like they did and I didn't know why that was. I felt tremendously guilty for not taking some of the pain too and lightening their burden somehow.
"No stop right there Eden, don't you dare apologise. None of that was your fault. You couldn't have stopped it" Sawyer tried and failed to grab my cheeks but I felt him somehow. He locked his eyes upon mine to ensure his words truly sank into my head.
"Couldn't I have?" I retorted disheartenedly.
"What'd you mean?" Cole took several wide strides towards me then frowned at me as he tried to figure out what I meant. "You were just a little kid" he added for emphasis.
"You said they abandoned me in unclaimed territory, in rogue territory as a test. You drilled it into me that I was just a helpless little wolf and when dad was hurting Sawyer he made a point of saying that I was a helpless human now that I'd lost my wolf. You always told me to act helpless, but you never said I was helpless. So maybe I could have stopped you both getting hurt when we were kids!" I explained myself as clearly as I could then squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds to try and calm my emotions.