⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎... ⋙
chapter eight ✷ the mirror of erised
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RON WAS FURIOUS WITH HARRY. As Apollo loaded his plate with bacon at breakfast the next morning, Harry and Ron sat beside him, the redhead glaring at Harry with his arms crossed. "You could've woken us up." he then glanced at Apollo, who seemed happily in his own world. "Or at least woken me up."
Apollo glared at him.
Ron didn't tell anyone of the note Remus left — not even Harry. Apollo was thankful for it and he planned to tell Harry soon. However, Apollo had been shocked to learn that Harry had used his new invisibility cloak to sneak around the castle the night before, and had made a strange discovery of his own.
If he was being honest, the knowledge that Harry had found a secret mirror that showed him his dead parents probably didn't alarm Apollo as much as it should have. But he couldn't help it. Harry had mentioned seeing his parents and immediately Apollo's mind had gone to the possibility of using this secret mirror to see his own parents in real time.
Sure, he had heard the stories of Remus and Aphelia from Silas. But if there was a chance he could meet them properly (or as properly as you can meet someone through a mirror), then there was no way he wasn't going to take it.
Besides, even if Apollo didn't see the Lupins, he'd at least get to meet Harry's parents.
"You two can come tonight," Harry was saying, a distant look in his eyes as if he was already back in the room with the mirror. Normally, his friend's aloofness would have alarmed Apollo, but he was too excited to care. "I'm going back, I want to show you the mirror."
"I'd like to see your mum and dad," Ron said eagerly.
Apollo nodded along with him and met Harry's eyes, giving him a small smile. "Me too."
"And I want to see all your families as well, all the Weasleys and the Lupins. Ron, you can show me your other brothers and Apollo can show me his parents," Harry said excitedly.
"I'd like that," Apollo agreed, his voice soft.
"Yeah, well, you can see my family any time," Ron scoffed. "Just come round mine this summer. Anyway, maybe it only shows dead people. Shame about not finding Flamel, though. Hello? Am I speaking to myself? Why aren't you two eating? You need to eat. Have some bacon."
Apollo hadn't realised he'd been staring off into space until Ron snapped his fingers in front of him and gestured to the uneaten bacon piled on his plate. He'd been thinking about the note and the strange fate that had led Harry to discover the mirror at the very same time.
He hadn't even noticed the odd expression on Harry's face or the way he kept bouncing his leg up and down.
Ron had, though. And he looked between his two friends with concern. "Are you two all right? You're both acting odd."
"I'm fine," Apollo mumbled, half-heartedly stabbing his fork into his bacon.
But all he could think about was the strange mirror in the castle somewhere that might be the gateway for him to see his parents happy.
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APOLLO YELPED IN PAIN. He glared at Ron who was behind him, muttering a small, "sorry," which only made Apollo sigh with an eye roll but smile at the redhead to show he forgave him.
Harry suddenly stopped them, causing Apollo to make an 'oof' sound as he hit Harry's back. Harry wasn't fazed in the slightest, simply staring at the door in front of them before opening it slowly, pulling off the cloak and running to the mirror.
"Bit excited, isn't he," Ron muttered, pulling the cloak off him and Apollo, both of them taking spots beside Harry.
"I can't see anything," Apollo said disappointedly, standing to the side and watching as Harry faced the strange mirror in the centre of the room.
He was a lot less excited about the mirror now that they were actually in front of it than he had been this morning. Apollo didn't know why, but something about the huge, reflective object had given him a bad feeling in his gut as soon as he had followed Harry into the room.
Apollo found himself wishing he'd just stuck to showing Harry the note of his father instead of following the boy on this late-night adventure. The possibility of seeing his parents was the only thing keeping him from bolting all the way back to the comfort of a bed. And he couldn't help but shiver as the bad feeling in his gut increased the longer he looked in the mirror.
"I can't see anything," Apollo repeated, once they were stood in front of the mirror.
"I can only see you," Ron said from where he was standing on Harry's other side.
"You two need to look in it properly," Harry tutted, not tearing his eyes away from the mirror. "Go on, stand where I am."
Harry stepped back, and Apollo reluctantly moved forward to take his place in front of the mirror. He had his eyes closed, afraid to open them, some instinct told him that looking in the mirror was a bad idea.
But he could feel Harry and Ron waiting for him to say something, so Apollo opened his eyes.
A rush of disappointment filled Apollo as he realised that the mirror simply reflected himself back to him.
But just then two other figures appeared. A man with brunette hair smiled down at him, and although he was the complete embodiment of Remus Lupin, there was no scar in sight. Beside him was a woman, brunette hair loosely hung and a beautiful smile dancing on her lips.
Aphelia Lupin was looking at Apollo proudly through the reflection — and as Apollo reached out to graze the glass slightly, he drew it back.
Apollo didn't know what it meant. And a voice in the back of his head told him to get closer, to keep looking. But the bad feeling in his gut only worsened with every passing second, and Apollo found himself moving away from the mirror in fear.
Something wasn't right. Something about the mirror wasn't right.
"What was it?" Harry's voice asked, ripping Apollo from his trance. "What did you see?"
"I..." Apollo stopped, his voice soft. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it and finally turned to face the other boys again. "I just saw my parents. I didn't see anything else."
Ron stepped forward, his eyes trained determinedly on the mirror ahead.
"Well," he said, moving into the spot Apollo had just vacated. "My turn, I guess."
Harry and Apollo turned away from each other to watch in anticipation as Ron looked at his reflection. Apollo began to bite the skin around his nail, his other hand hanging at his side.
"Look at me!" Ron suddenly gasped, staring transfixed at his own image.
Apollo didn't know what he was talking about. Just like with Harry, he couldn't see anything reflected in the mirror except Ron, who had his Weasley jumper tugged over his pyjamas and looked the same as he had before he stepped in front of it.
"Can you see all your family standing around you?" Harry asked.
"No." Ron began explaining, his eyes wide in awe at whatever he saw. "I'm alone — but I'm different — I look older — and I'm Head Boy!"
"What?" Harry said, echoing what Apollo was thinking.
"I am — I'm wearing the badge like Bill used to — and I'm holding the House Cup and the Quidditch Cup — I'm Quidditch captain, too!"
Ron tore his eyes away from the mirror to look excitedly at Harry and Apollo. "Do you think this mirror shows the future?"
"How can it?" Harry said dryly. "All my family are dead — let me have another look—"
"You had it all to yourself last night, give me a bit more time," Ron objected, cutting Apollo off just as he had opened his mouth to tell the two of them that he thought they should head back to bed.
"You're only holding the Quidditch Cup, what's interesting about that? I want to see my parents," Harry shot back, taking a step forward toward Ron.
"Um—" Apollo began.
"Don't push me—" Ron grumbled, pushing Harry back.
"Hey!" Apollo snapped as a sudden noise from the corridor interrupted their argument. "Oh well done, I bet the whole castle heard you two. Honestly, I wish I stayed in the Hufflepuff Dormitory."
"Quick!" Harry hissed, ignoring Apollo.
Ron quickly picked the cloak up off the floor and threw it over the three friends as the luminous eyes of Mrs Norris came round the door. All three of the first years stood completely still as the cat peered around the room, their minds all thinking the same thing — did the cloak work on cats?
After what seemed like an age, Mrs Norris finally turned and left.
"This isn't safe," Ron whispered. "She might've gone for Filch, I bet she heard us. Come on."
With that, Ron and Apollo both grabbed one of Harry's arms and hauled him out of the room.
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THE SNOW STILL HADN'T MELTED THE NEXT MORNING, AND APOLLO HAD WALKED DOWN THE STEPS WITH BAGS YOU COULD SEE FROM A DISTANCE UNDER HIS EYES. He hadn't been able to sleep at all after they got back the night before, his mind full of both thoughts about his parents, and what he had seen reflected in the mirror. Apollo couldn't help but get a sense of dread whenever he thought about the image of him and his parents staring back at him. He had no idea what it meant, with Remus looking happy, no harm of the full moon in sight.
"Want to play chess with us?" Ron asked the brunette as he knocked one of Harry's figures off. Harry didn't seem bothered though — in fact, he looked quite down.
"No," he said carefully as Harry stood up.
"Why don't we go down and visit Hagrid?" Ron said to Harry. It seemed he had suggested for Apollo to play to see if that would cheer Harry up.
"No... you two go..." Harry sighed, picking at his trousers.
Ron and Apollo exchanged a concerned look.
"I know what you're thinking about, Harry," Apollo said kindly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He just wished Harry would look at him so he could see that he did understand and that he and Ron were only trying to help him. "That mirror — just, don't go back tonight."
"Why not?" Harry said defensively, finally turning to face Apollo, although he wouldn't look him in the eye.
"I have a bad feeling about it," Apollo shrugged, not wanting to let on just how much of a bad feeling he'd been having about it.
"Me too," Ron agreed, surprising Apollo slightly. With the way he had acted the night before, Apollo hadn't expected the redhead to side with him. "And anyway, you've had too many close shaves already. Filch, Snape and Mrs Norris are wandering around. So what if they can't see you? What if they walk into you? What if you knock something over?"
"Now you two sound like Hermione," Harry scoffed, shaking his head.
"I'm serious, Harry," Ron continued, before correcting himself. "We're serious. Don't go."
But Apollo knew that their pleading was futile. He could tell by the stubborn look in his eye that Harry wasn't going to listen to them.
Which only meant one thing: Apollo was going to go with Harry to see the mirror again (there was no way he was letting him go on his own) and he was going to make sure it was for the last time.
Apollo waited up for Harry in the common room, feeling an odd sense of deja-vu for when he and Hermione had waited up to catch the boys a few months before. Except for this time, Apollo actually wanted to be there. When Harry finally came down once everyone else had gone to bed, he did a double-take upon seeing the brunette waiting for him.
"I thought you didn't want to go back?" Harry asked, narrowing his eyes at Apollo in suspicion. He had the cloak folded in his arms and deep bags under his eyes from lack of sleep.
"I changed my mind," Apollo shrugged, standing up from where he'd been lounging by the fire. "Besides, you're going to need me to help you look out for Filch and Snape."
Harry looked reluctant for a second, and Apollo could tell that he wanted more than anything to tell him to go away so he could have the mirror for himself. But Apollo tilted his head to the side slightly, seeing Harry purse his lips and cheeks going so red Apollo was wondering if he was holding his breath.
Finally he sighed, letting his head fall. "Okay," Harry said, nodding. "Come on."
He flung the cloak over the two of them as they exited the portrait hole and hurried down the stairs.
They found the mirror a lot faster this time than they had the night before. Harry was walking so fast, and making so much noise, that Apollo was sure Filch was going to catch them before they even got close to the room. But, by dumb luck or some sort of miracle, he didn't.
And as soon as they reached their destination, Harry headed straight for the mirror, not even glancing at the room around him before he placed himself in the exact spot he'd stood the night before.
Apollo let out a sigh, walking over and putting a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Please, Harry, I have this horrible feeling about this mirror. And you haven't gotten any sleep for the past few nights."
Harry turned to give him a sort of pained look before glancing back at the mirror and Apollo stared for a moment, before sitting himself on the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and waiting for Harry to look at him again.
"So..." a voice spoke, making Apollo jump. "Back again, you two?"
Harry whipped around in surprise, his eyes widening as he looked behind Apollo. The brunette was scared to move but he did, only to see their Headmaster smiling at them, a hint of amusement in his eye.
"I — I didn't see you, sir," Harry choked out. Apollo's mouth fell slightly open, chocolate eyes wide in fear. He wondered how many detentions getting caught sneaking around by Albus Dumbledore would earn them.
"Strange how short-sighted being invisible can make you," Dumbledore smiled.
The old man spoke with such amusement in his voice, that Apollo couldn't help but get the impression that everything he said was some sort of riddle — like every word he spoke had a double meaning to it.
"So," Dumbledore said again, slipping off the desk to go sit on the floor beside Harry. Apollo shuffled closer to Harry's side, the other boy on instinct lacing their fingers together against the cool stone floor. "You, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of Erised."
Apollo hugged himself, tilting his head so he could look at Dumbledore before turning back to the mirror. The word obviously had meaning, a sort of riddle perhaps. He began thinking what it could possibly be, eyebrows furrowed as he racked his brain over everything he had learnt during his time at Hogwarts.
"I didn't know it was called that, sir," Harry said formally, still shaking slightly at the sight of their headmaster sitting crossed-legged on the floor beside him.
"But I expect you've realised by now what it does?" Dumbledore questioned.
"It — well — it shows me my family—" Harry stuttered unsurely.
"And it showed your friend Ron himself as Head Boy," Dumbledore continued.
Apollo felt his eyes widen in realisation. Dumbledore caught his eye over the top of Harry's head and gave him a small wink as if he could hear what he was thinking.
"How did you know?" Harry asked, shock lacing his voice.
"I don't need a cloak to become invisible," Dumbledore said gently. "Now, can you think what the Mirror of Erised shows us all?"
Harry shook his head.
"Apollo?" Dumbledore asked, turning to face the boy.
"It shows us what we desire," Apollo inferred, once again watching as the familiar figures of his parents moved around him in the mirror.
"Exactly," Dumbledore praised, and Apollo couldn't help but feel proud that he'd figured the mirror out without the old man telling him. "The happiest man on earth would be able to use the Mirror of Erised like a normal mirror, that is, he would look into it and see himself exactly as he is."
"You, who have never known your family, see them standing around you," Dumbledore continued, this time turning to face Harry. "Ronald Weasley, who had always been overshadowed by his brothers, sees himself standing alone, the best of all of them. And Apollo here, who has always wished for his family to be happy."
Dumbledore sighed and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder to get the boy's attention again. "This mirror, however great what it may show you is, will give us neither knowledge nor truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen. Or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible."
So, Apollo and Ron had been right when they'd guessed that something was wrong with the mirror.
Apollo only wished they could've convinced Harry not to go back to see it sooner — at least then he wouldn't have been left reeling from the millions of questions Dumbledore's comments had created in his mind. What did 'deepest desire' mean anyway? Surely people could have more than one deepest desire?
"The Mirror will be moved to a new home tomorrow, Harry, and I ask you not to go looking for it again. Apollo, I ask you the same. If you ever do run across it, you will now be prepared," Dumbledore said with a hint of finality and severity in his voice, which was unusual for the jovial Headmaster. "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that. Now, why don't you two put that admirable cloak back on and get off to bed."
Apollo nodded at that and stood up, his legs wobbling underneath him as he realised just how tired he was. It had been an exhausting few days.
"Sir — Professor Dumbledore?" Harry suddenly asked, standing up beside Apollo. "Can I ask you something?"
"Obviously, you've just done so." Dumbledore smiled. "You may ask me one more thing, however."
"What do you see when you look in the Mirror?" Harry asked bluntly. Apollo raised his eyebrows — that seemed like an awfully personal question to ask. But he supposed it was only fair considering Dumbledore knew what they had all seen.
"I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woollen socks," Dumbledore answered simply.
Harry and Apollo just stared at him blankly, both thinking the same thing. Socks? Really? Dumbledore shrugged.
"One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn't get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books."
woah! finally updating? guys, I think
I'm ill... istg idk why it took me so
long to publish this chapter but after
so many rereads of me scoffing at
my own writing, I'm finally happy with
the outcome!