𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒
''I swear,'' he gasped. ''I am yours and you are mine. I am forever undone by you, Estella.''
• ── ≪ ✧ ◦《✩》◦✧ ≫ ── •
tw. graphic depictions of fear, minor sexual content
ESTELLA NURSED THE FRUITY DRINK IN HER HAND with slow, languid movements. In front of her, the yule ball played out in a burst of technicolour. Girls giggled in their pretty taffeta dresses as their dance partners swung them high in the air and a thin powder of snow lay in a blanket across the floor.
She took another sip of the lavender liquid in her glass and winced at its thick sweetness. Oh how she longed for something stronger.
Estella shot a quick glance at the makeshift 'bar' behind her that consisted of a singular bowl of shimmering punch and a tower of stacked glasses.
She mentally chastised herself for not asking Evan to bring his flask. Estella could never be caught with something like that on her person, not to mention she'd have nowhere to hide it however Evan could tuck it neatly in the pocket of his dress robes. Speaking of- where was Evan?
Estella scoured the dance floor and took another sip of the sickening punch. Her eyes paused on Narcissa dancing with Lucius- a widespread grin on her face and andromeda nearby as she spun in the arms of Xenophillius Lovegood.
Bellatrix was most assuredly off in some dingy corner sulking because no one wanted to dance with her.
Try as she might, Estella found no sign of Evan. In fact, she saw everyone but.
Pandora giggled as she whispered something in Regulus's ear, the two slow dancing to a fast song as they always did. Sirius had Marlene hoisted on his shoulders as she and some other girl tried to play chicken and James- James was sprinting across the floor after a fuming Lily Evans.
Estella grinned. Romulus had yet to ask her to dance and this seemed suitable entertainment for the time being. She couldn't make out what James called after Lily, yet he looked positively devastated.
His tan complexion was paled and his hand dropped limply by his side where it hung there for a few dejected moments.
In front of him, getting farther away by the second, ran Lily as she pushed her way through the dancing masses until she was clean out the hall.
Estella watched like a hawk as James ran an exasperated hand through his hair. His date- Rosie, Estella's lip curled, slunk up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Her lip was out in a pout and she seemed to be saying something about him not wanting to dance with her.
Estella refilled her punch glass as Rosie tugged on James's hand, pulling him into the thick of the dancing. He seemed to welcome the diversion and cracked a half-hearted smile.
Estella didn't feel jealousy, no. She had something far more entertaining in mind than breaking up the lovers.
She left her post by the bar, the same spot she'd been rooted in all night as she fended off dance offers from potential suitors and men left wanting, and headed out of the Great Hall, glass in hand.
• ── ≪ ✧ ◦《✩》◦✧ ≫ ── •
It wasn't long before Estella found Lily. Her poorly muffled sobs could be heard the minute Estella left the Hall.
Lily was tucked into one of the small alcoves by the Great Halls stairs and she stood out like a sore thumb against the limestone in her rich satin dress, bold hair left spilling over her shoulders in a mass of fiery strands.
Her head was bowed into her palms as she tried and failed to hide her sniffles. Hearing Estella's heels on the stone floor, it shot up. What was first an expression of surprise morphed into one of annoyance and then rapid fear.
''I-'' she stumbled to her feet. ''What do you want.'' Lily backed up the steps and her heels caught in the hem of her dress. A tearing noise sounded and her cheeks reddened.
''I'd sit if I were you.'' Estella spoke pointedly.
Lily's green eyes flitted anxiously. ''Or what. What you did last time was bad enough.'' Her arms crossed over her chest, defensively.
Estella rolled her eyes. ''You'll tear your dress if you move. Your heels caught in the fabric.''
Lily's gaze shuttered as surprise flashed on her face.
''I'd recommend sitting if you want to not end up with your underwear on display.''
Lily quickly seized the back of her dress searching for the how high the tear was.
''If you'll let me?'' Estella prompted. Lily hesitated. ''I promise I'll be gentle.'' Estella quipped with a wicked grin.
Lily scowled. ''I don't need anything from you.'' She snapped. ''I know what you fucking are. Loose the helpful act. What do you want.'' If Estella was fazed by her use of profanity, Lily noted her face remained impassive.
Lily didn't care if the whole world saw her underwear as long as it meant she didn't have to spend another minute in Estella's presence. She loathed to admit it but Estella inspired such terror in her she was almost tempted to blubber right there, however her cheeks were still stiff from the last tears she'd shed, and Lily Evans refused to cower before someone who took delight in her fear.
She took a step backwards and true to Estella's word, the tear split farther. Estella laughed quietly and Lily shut her eyes tight.
Embarrassment bloomed hot on her cheeks, here she was in front of none other than Estella Black, her underwear only one more step away from being on display to the whole of- well actually it was only Estella at that moment.
Somehow that made it even worse. That only Estella would get to witness this moment, replay it gleefully in her sick mind.
''I think you should sit down.'' Estella repeated.
Lily jutted her chin out obstinately. ''What are you going to do to me if I don't.'' She hissed. ''Curse me, hex me, turn me into a frog like you did Lysandra Greengrass?''
''Oh you heard about that?''
''Didn't everyone.''
''Lysandra's always been a bit of a blabbermouth. Now sit. I'll fix your dress.''
Lily wasn't stupid. She knew she had no choice in the matter and promptly plopped down onto the Great Hall's steps. ''How are you going to fix it.'' She muttered.
Estella closed her eyes, her expression pinching. ''Like this.'' Lily didn't have time to react before Estella's hands were touching the fabric of her dress, her lips forming silent incantations.
Right before Lily's very eyes she watched as the green satin seamlessly stitched itself back together. Her lips formed a small 'o' in a twisted mixture of horror and amazement. ''Wandless magic- I- how do you know how to do that!'' She exclaimed.
Estella smiled. '' I'll let you know if you tell me why you left Potter like a lost puppy on the dancefloor.''
Lily frowned. ''James? Why would you care.''
Estella's lips snagged downwards. ''We're friends.'' She snapped. ''Not that it's any of your business.''
Lily laughed. ''Friends? Estella you wouldn't know what a friend was if it hit you smack in the face.''
Estella's cheeks sharpened as she dug her long nails deep into the meat of her palms. She welcomed the sting, it grounded her. ''I know that friends don't leave one another looking crestfallen on dancefloors.'' She spoke pointedly as Lily's lips set in a stubborn line. ''Poor James looked like he'd just had his heart torn out.''
Estella sat down beside Lily on the steps. She ignored the way her stomach turned as Lily shrunk away, flinching.
''He has to give up.'' Lily muttered. ''I don't- I don't feel for him that way.'' The hairs on Estella's arms raised. James still loved Lily? It was a well known fact that the boy had possessed an infernal crush on the girl up until sixth year, yet Estella had been sure that it was gone by now.
James never mentioned Lily, hadn't done so even once this year. Sure Estella had seen the way he'd cradled her in his arms as Yaxely had released her from the cruciatus curse, yet that was just philia, not romantic love. Right?
''What did he say to you.'' Estella demanded.
Lily's eyebrows raised in amusement. ''He was very drunk.'' She admitted. ''And tried to get me to dance with him. He was speaking in riddles and half formed sentences about-'' she laughed hoarsely, ''marriage, babies, love- I mean he really was smashed.''
Estella's heart thudded painfully against chest. ''He spoke to you about that?''
''Yes it was rather odd-.'' Lily admitted.
Anger bubbled in the pit of Estella's stomach. She knew she'd been right about James no longer having that impossible crush on Lily.
He'd been thrust in her direction this evening after most likely necking half a bottle of firewhiskey before the dance. And Estella knew exactly who had pushed him towards Lily and most certainly away from her.
She supposed Sirius must've thought himself absurdly clever. If anyone could get James away from Estella it would've been Lily- pure, perfect Lily who'd owned James's sole undivided attention for years.
It was a good idea, get James drunk and then usher him in Lily's direction so he'd be occupied with her all evening instead of blindly venturing across the ballroom to where a brooding Estella stood, glass of fruity punch gripped in her hand as she stewed over the fact he hasn't asked her to dance yet.
It was a good plan. Just not good enough.
• ── ≪ ✧ ◦《✩》◦✧ ≫ ── •
It wasn't hard to find Sirius once Estella had re entered the ball room. Not only was he surrounded by clustering girls who flirted shamelessly behind the backs of their hands, but he was making an awful racket too. It seemed James wasn't the only one drunk.
Sirius guffawed as he raised a nearly empty bottle of firewhiskey high in the air. As the remainder of it's contents sloshed over the brim, Sirius tilted his head back to try and catch the last dregs. He shrieked as splashed on his forehead, dribbling into his eyes. Estella sniggered quietly, that had to burn.
''Sirius.'' She spoke, nearing the group. The happy laughter fizzled out almost instantly. Sirius was the only one left making noise as he staggered around wiping the last remnants of the fiery drink off his face.
'Sirius.''
He swung around and grinned as their matching gray eyes met.
''Cousin!'' He exclaimed, grinning. When Estella didn't reciprocate his glee, he tried again. ''Cousin!'' He repeated, this time his tone taunting her with mock fear as he raised a swaying finger in her direction. ''Everyone run- save yourselves!''
His group tittered with unsure laughter as Estella scowled.
''Shut up.'' She muttered, taking firm hold of Sirius's dress robes as she dragged him away. Sirius hiccupped several times as he trailed after her.
Estella wondered how drunk he really was, she'd never seen Sirius this unsteady on his feet.
''Dance with me.'' She commanded as the two stepped onto the dance floor.
Sirius waggled his eyebrows. '' 'Fraid I cant, cousin. I don't dance-''
''Let me guess, you're too cool,'' Estella sneered. ''Worried McKinnon over there might have a fit if she sees your two left feet?''
Sirius's jaw ticked as the good natured humour faded from his face. Estella held his wrist in a vice grip as she spun him around in time with the music. His pallor tinged green. ''Don't do that,'' he hissed. ''I'll be sick, Estella.''
She spun him again. ''Good.''
Sirius's eyes flashed as he tried to tear his wrist away. Estella's grip held firm. ''Dance with me or I'll force you to vomit all over this fucking floor, see who'll want to date you then when you have the pathetic remnants of your dinner on display.''
Sirius expression darkened and he glowered as Estella half spun him. ''Don't you dare.'' He slurred.
''You reek.'' Estella retorted.
''Oh what this?'' Sirius smirked. ''I call it Eau de firewhiskey-''
''You smell like a brewery.''
''Why thank you.''
''Shut up.'' Estella muttered. Her head throbbed with the pace of the dance. It was a fast quickstep and her mind spun trying to remember all the positions.
Sirius however looked perfectly at ease, dancing and grace came naturally to him. Estella had to bleed and sweat to achieve the same appearance.
''Don't push James towards Lily.'' She spoke abruptly. Sirius looked affronted, surprised by her bluntness. ''Whatever do you mean, cousin-'' he batted his eyelashes innocently.
''Don't joke. I mean it, Sirius. Do not do it.'' His smile droped.
''And what will you do to me if I do, hmm? There are limits to your power Estella. There are only so many empty threats you can spew.'' He hissed. His breath was hot on her ear. ''You are not God, so tell me, what will you do?''
Estella's nails cut into Sirius's wrist, blood welling in the small half crescent moons. Sirius pretended to look impassive, yet the muscles in his arm seized, he was in pain. Estella felt a sick rush go through her. She dug her fingers in farther.
''I'll kill him.'' She spoke. Her words weren't hushed, not outspoken like a proclamation. It was their chilling normalcy that inspired fear in Sirius, icy terror, accompanied by the fact he knew she meant those words with absolute sincerity.
Suddenly Sirius was absolutely sure that he would throw up, it just wouldn't be due to Estella spinning him around like a doll.
''Why are you doing this.'' He insisted, eyes searching hers and coming up blank. They were deep bottomless pits of gray, devoid of all feeling and emotion. They were psychotic. She was psychotic.
Estella lifted up a bare arm to stroke the side of Sirius cheek with her forefinger, feeling him shudder underneath. He tried to shake her off yet she now gripped his chin in a bruising hold.
''You will listen to me now, Sirius, and you will hear what I say for I will say it only once.''
The jolly quartet dulled in the background as Sirius grew paralysed under her hold. His legs still danced the steps so well, ingrained in his mind from lessons in Black Manor as a child, yet his gaze was locked onto hers- focused on nothing but.
''I am doing this,'' Estella began. ''I'm doing this for you, Sirius! This is all because of you.''
Sirius didn't understand.
''You thought I was better.'' Her fingers felt the bone in Sirius's chin as they pressed tighter and his eyes watered, bloodshot.
''I- I don't-'' he stuttered. Estella pressed a finger to his lips, her expression crazed as she tried to calm him down. ''Shh,'' her finger stroked down the side of his jaw. ''This is my present to you, Sirius. My parting gift.''
The skin of Sirius chin had taken un a bluish tinge underneath the press of Estella's fingertips. A singular tear spilled down his cheek. Whether from pain or terror, Estella didn't know.
''Shh,'' she hushed as she tenderly wiped it away.
''This gift is for you'' she insisted with a warm smile. ''I am going to smash James Potters heart to smithereens, Sirius. I am going to destroy it, and when I do, just know it is all your fault.''
More and more tears had begun to spill down Sirius's cheeks and Estella let them fall.
''You know what the beauty of this is,'' she continued. In all her years of torture, Estella had never seen an expression of horror so gut twisting as the one Sirius wore. It was beautiful.
She leaned in close, her thin lips grazing the outer shell of his ear. ''You won't remember a thing in the morning.''
Estella dropped his wrist like a hot stone and strode off the dance floor. Not even three seconds later, the thick noise of retching sounded behind her as Sirius emptied his stomach onto the shoes of those still dancing around him.
Estella didn't know how long it went on for nor did she care. She was finished with the evening, more than enough chaos had ensued around her.
• ── ≪ ✧ ◦《✩》◦✧ ≫ ── •
As she neared her dorm, the soft chatter of voices sounded from behind the thick wood of the door. Brows furrowed in puzzlement, Estella pushed it open only to be met with the surprised faces of Evan Rosier and Nancy Parkinson. Nancy's face flushed as if she'd been caught doing something elicit, yet they were sat far enough apart and Evan didn't look ruffled in the slightest.
As Estella locked onto Evan's gaze, she spotted something alike guilt? flash there. ''Nancy, Evan.'' Estella greeted. ''Retiring early?'' There was still a good amount of people left at the ball. Estella had expected to return to an empty dorm.
''Nancy.'' She zeroed her attention on the girl. ''Mind giving Evan and I a minute?'' Nancy hesitated despite it being clear Estella wasn't asking. Even so, she got to her feet and moved to go. She wore an expression of disappointment. What was there to be disappointed about, Estella didn't understand- Oh. As Nancy strode past him, Evan squeezed her hand tight before letting her go. Oh.
Estella didn't wait for the door to shut properly before she jutted her chin out at Evan. His blonde hair was slicked back with a few stray strands falling into his eyes. He wore no jacket to his dress robes, just the trousers and waistcoat over his shirt. Had Nancy taken it off him? Estella's gaze darkened.
She took up Nancy's previous position on her bed opposite Evan who leant on her desk. ''When did you and Parkinson get so close?'' She inspected her nails, picking flecks of invisible dust out from underneath the beds.
Evan looked down at his polished shoes. A faint air of awkwardness hung between the two, a feeling that had never once come between them. It was odd and Estella hated it. It also didn't go unnoticed that instead of coming to sit beside her on her bed, Evan remained stoically by the desk.
''We agreed it would be better to spend more time with one another.'' Evan admitted.
Estella's harsh laugh was biting, mocking. ''And why on earth would you want to get closer with Nancy of all people?'' Evan wasn't laughing and almost looked embarrassed. ''Because we're getting married.'' He spoke. His tone was devoid of humour.
Estella froze. ''No you're not- Nancy's promised to Rodolphus Lestrange.''
Evan refused to meet Estella's gaze. ''A few weeks ago Nancy came to me and begged me to help her get out of the engagement. She was fearful of him- he'd hit her.''
''That little liar.'' Estella murmured under her breath.
Evan's gaze snapped up, blazing. ''She's not.'' He spoke. ''And even if she were, in the time we've spent this past few weeks I- I've grown fond of her.'' He insisted.
''Fond of her?'' Estella shrieked with laughter. ''Of Nancy- Nancy who's had a shameless crush on you for god knows how long!''
Evan said nothing.
''You said you'd save me from my engagement with Lucius.'' Estella quietened. ''You promised-''. She raised an accusatory finger.
Evan started towards her. ''I tried-'' his voice broke slightly. ''I wrote to my parents, to yours. I tried everything to get them to change it.''
Estella turned away from him a small smile forming as she did so. Evan came behind her, his long fingers running up and down her arms, comforting- pleading with her.
So this was why he'd looked guilty, Estella thought to herself. The little sneak had gone and gotten engaged to someone else. Nancy Parkinson of all people! Estella forced herself to swallow the small smile as it threatened to grow.
Evan had always been loyal to her and only her. and who was Nancy to get in between that devotion. No one. She was no one, and tonight Estella would make Evan forget her goddamn name. Estella would be the only thing on his mind, the object of his affections. Nancy would become no one to him.
Estella willed tears into her eyes as she balled her hands into fists by her sides. ''You promised,'' she choked out. ''You promised to save me- not her.''
Evan let out a tortured sound behind her. ''I tried Estella, I tried everything. If there was another way I swear I would take it in an instant-''
Estella turned to face him. She let her lip tremble, cheeks flush. ''Leave, Evan.'' She demanded.
Evan paled. ''Please Estella,'' he begged. He cupped her face in his hands, so softly as if he were afraid she might crumble under his touch. He pressed his forehead against hers, bending down imperceptibly. ''I tried.''
Yes, yes. Estella chanted silently. You belong to me, not her.
Estella looked up at him, her expression torn with anguish. ''You know what he'll do to me Evan. You saw him that day in the snow. I've disrespected him- Lucius. I've embarrassed him, taunted him.
She pulled Evan's hands from her face. ''He'll kill me.'' She hissed. ''You know he will once I'm locked away in Malfoy Manor and behind closed doors.''
Evan shook his head in distress. ''No, No. I won't let that happen-''
''Swear it to me.'' Estella insisted. ''You must.''
''Estella, I can't.''
Estella's lip curled in disdain. ''Why not.'' She righted her expression before Evan caught it.
Evan turned from her. ''I've already told Nancy I'd marry her. I'll always stay by your side Estella, always. But I have to marry her.'' Estella saw red and fuelled by jealous fire she turned Evan gently to face her once more.
Her hand snaked around the back of his neck and she drew him closer, reading his expression. Evan seemed to be having an internal battle. He squeezed his eyes tight before turning his head to the other side. ''Estella I can't.''
''You can.''
His breath came out in shallow pants as Estella edged closer, pulling his head down until their lips were just a hairbreadth apart.
Evan was fighting a loosing battle, he'd always imagined this moment, yet now that it was actually here- no. He couldn't do that! Not to Nancy. Evan was a man of his word and he'd given it to Nancy not Estella.
However when Evan gazed at Estella, who looked spellbinding in her white and gold gown, hair tumbling down the length of her back, it became abundantly clear that he'd never wanted anything more in his life than he did Estella Black.
''Yes,'' Estella breathed as the last of his restraint peeled away and he allowed her to lower his lips onto hers. Evan was stiff with tension. He knew this was wrong, he was engaged to another girl.
A small moan left Estella as Evan let their kiss deepen. It was torturously slow, soft.
Estella felt in each stolen breath, each low noise that escaped Evan's lips how much he loved her and oh how she preyed on it, for if she were capable of love Estella would've loved Evan with every fibre of her being.
As she broke the kiss, Evan tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling of her and Nancy's dorm as he took breath after breath of treasured air in whilst Estella's nimble fingers undid the buttons of his waistcoat with ease.
He knew this was wrong and a large part of him loathed how easily he'd given in when Nancy's spot on the bed was still warm.
Estella pushed off his waistcoat and started on his shirt, nipping and kissing at the soft skin of his neck, delighting in the way his adam's apple bobbed with desire.
Within seconds Evan's shirt was off and it was his turn. Hating himself every second, he lifted Estella into his arms, unzipping her dress, letting her step out of it and onto the bed. She still wore her circlet of gold laurels and Evan couldn't help but admire how it highlighted every strand of pale blonde hair with pure sun. She was ethereal.
Somewhere along the way Evan had lost his trousers and Estella had rid them both of their remaining underwear.
''Swear it.'' She breathed, climbing atop him. ''Swear to me you will protect me and only me.''
Evan was delirious with pleasure, with everything about her as she slowly rose and fell above him.
''I swear,'' he gasped. ''I am yours and you are mine. I am forever undone by you, Estella.''
She smiled, leaning back in pleasure of her own. ''Yes,'' she breathed. ''Yes you are.''
• ── ≪ ✧ ◦《✩》◦✧ ≫ ── •
a/n. firstly i know this was quite a heavy chapter and there's a few more like this as the sacred 28 ball and the christmas holiday is coming up. Secondly the reason there was very little about the yule ball in this chapter was because in the one after next there will be a lot of detail for the sacred 28 ball. Thirdly, i just want to repeat: ESTELLA IS NOT MEANT TO BE A LIKEABLE CHARACHTER!! and in no way do i condone her actions. Sirius is my favourite marauder and so writing their relationship has been a little tricky but rest assured THEY WILL HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT HATE EACHOTHER OKAY?! its all part of the character development ... oh and i almost forgot- just your friendly reminder that this IS NOT a love triangle between evan james and estella and there will not be a 'romance' persay between estella and evan :)