if there was one thing that paris bianchi enjoyed more than peanut m&m's, single vacations without being bothered, goldfish crackers, and tim burton movies: it's pleasure.
and when he means pleasure, he means pleasure.
it's like being high without taking drugs. it's like being drunk without actually drinking.
it was probably the only time he's ever felt wanted and amazing all at once. he's never said no to pleasure and if he ever did then he would probably scold himself for it.
but the way it just comes to him on a golden platter with his name on it makes it even better.
going to clubs or events with the band meant he always met new people. most of them were assholes, yeah.
but some of them were just lonely and needed someone to care for them for at least one night. paris would think the same but he would never say it.
he's heard atlas and willow talk separately about how love is the best feeling ever. it's a pleasure for the heart and a blessing to the soul.
then why the hell does it hurt so much?
paris thought love wasn't in his path anytime soon. he was always working or too busy being angry at something.
but when the band did their shot hiatus, everything changed for him.
he was able to get a really good apartment in new york that he was allowed to spend money on and decorate it just for him.
hell, he even learned how to put a table together that was from ikea.
he didn't have worry about meetings, fans, studio time, schedules, nothing that was band related.
he was able to sleep in his own bed without feeling on edge because he has a fear of spirits from hotels that are gonna come back to haunt him because his mother would tell him stories about murders in hotels.
he was able to go on walks for fun, go to library's because he enjoyed the silence inside them, try out different adulting styles, and his favorite thing was sobering up.
his perspective on the world changed.
yes, he definitely hated most people. but he soon realized not everyone was like his parents.
there were people just as lonely as he was.
going to sobriety meetings sounded stupid to him at first and he refused. but his sponsor eventually convinced paris to go.
and after hearing from so many different people about their stories and experiences, he's never felt to seen in his entire life.
going on tour a lot meant a lot of parties and drinking and so many other things. paris doesn't remember half of the band's last tour because of how drunk or high off his ass he was even though he was really good at hiding it.
but now, he's found another way to get high without ruining his body.
it's sex.
well, oral sex in this case.
"fuck, just like that."
he couldn't help but moan when gwen, the woman he basically met thirty minutes ago, bobbed her head up and down on his length.
she took him as deep as she could. and whatever she couldn't fit she simply jacked him off. her red lip stick smearing all over him but neither of them cared.
he sighed in pleasure and looked down at her with dark eyes, lips parted. his cheeks were a light shade of red and he was starting to feel hot and bothered.
but fuck, was this blow job hitting different.
after feeling like shit for the last few weeks, this new wave of pleasure and intimacy knocking him down.
"you look so pretty like this, gwen." he chuckled at her. he patted her head which gave off as degradation but the girl could care less.
the head was so good he kind of forgot where he was for a second. in the woman's bathroom, in a small ass stall with a stranger.
but the stranger was hot and giving his head so he didn't think it was that bad.
he looked down at her as she continued to pleasure him. small groans and moans slipping from his lips. he noticed her features more as time passed.
her eyes ocean blue when they first spoke but were now navy blue with fire inside them. a well sculpted nose, heart shaped lips that were fantastic, and golden hair with curls.
fuck.
he couldn't help but imagine how fraser would go down on him. gwen kind of looked like him, the hair pulled it together basically. she had an accent similar to his. same eye color.
what the hell?
the idea of fraser weinheimer, one of the world's biggest rockstars, on his knees for paris made him harder than he already was if that was possible.
he didn't hesitate to start bucking his hips into gwen's mouth with his eyes closed. he pictured it was fraser instead of gwen. he felt pretty guilty and nasty about it but he really didn't care.
but as he was about to finish in her mouth, he heard someone bust into the bathroom and run into a stall. he heard loud sobbing come from the mystery woman as gwen kept going.
his bubble bursted and now he was officially turned off. he was brought back down to earth and hated how close he was yet whoever decided to be dramatic and rush into the restroom right now ruined his favorite kind of high.
he softly pushed gwen off of him in which she looked up at him in confusion.
"what?" she questioned.
"i can't finish with some bitch crying in the stall next to us." he rolled his eyes at her as he put himself back into his pants and zipped them up.
"so?" gwen slowly got up from the floor.
"i may be a kinky guy but crying isn't one of them." paris shook his head disapprovingly.
"well we can both finish at my place if you want. i don't live far—"
"i'm nowhere near drunk enough to go home with you tonight. plus, i'm not even supposed to be here right now." paris looked around the small stall.
"excuse me?"
"i'm not fucking you, sweetheart. go try being someone else's whore for the night."
he might have taken it far but he needed her to get away from him and leave so being rude was basically the one way he could do that without actually saying it to her face.
a gasp left her mouth and her face was filled with rage. she quickly unlocked the door and walked out the stall then leaving the restroom completely.
paris slowly walked out of the stall, sighing to himself after what just happened.
he looked at himself in the mirror. he looked decent for his not-so sober state. he wasn't completely drunk but he wasn't super sober either.
he still hears the crying from earlier but now it's not as loud. he looks back at the stall that was half closed but a woman sat on the floor with her back leaning against the wall and her knees to her chest.
paris was curious and decided to see if the woman was okay and who she was. he walked to the stall door and opened it up even more slowly.
"are you serious?" he rolled his eyes.
marcie's mascara was running down her face, a hiccup left her mouth as she looked up at paris.
"fuck off, i'm not in the mood." she snapped at him.
"geez, marcie. who pissed in your cereal this morning?" he leaned against the door frame and folded his arms over his chest.
"what are you doing here?" she questioned.
"i was looking for the men's bathroom and got... lost?" paris tried to come up with an excuse.
marcie didn't even wanna question him because she really didn't wanna know the real reason he was in the woman's bathroom.
"then can you leave me alone, please? i wanna be alone."
"no."
"the fuck?" she cursed when he denied her request.
he sighed before getting on the ground and sitting in the same position as her but on the opposite wall of the stall.
"you're crying and look like shit. even though you're my boss, i sometimes would consider you a friend. and friends don't let each other cry alone." paris explained to her.
"what happened tonight, mar? why or who made you cry?" he added.
"i saw sebastian. he's here and all the memories hit me then all the emotions and it just caught me off guard and fuck—"
she started to cry even more at the thought of him again. god, she felt like such a crybaby. she swore she was done with sebastian yet she's crying over him again.
in a bathroom stall with paris which isn't ideal but she'll have to work with it.
"so you're telling me cyborg from the fucking avengers is here right now? in london? inside this fucking club?" paris was completely shocked to say the least.
she nodded after he spoke. he felt his heart ache at the memory of marcie going through a depression after her and sebastian broke up.
he remembers how frantic she was to write so many songs that were all about him. how heartbreaking it was to hear that she missed out on studio time because she was completely out of it.
he's known marcie for years but wasn't able to recognize her after she broke up with the man she loved the most.
she was hurt because of him and paris didn't like that. even though he wasn't always kind to the band that didn't mean someone else could do the same.
"i'm gonna kick hi—"
"please don't, pari. i know he isn't the best person in the world but i still care about him." she begged paris.
"why? after everything he's done to you? after everything he told you? why do you care still care about that pathetic son of a bitch?" paris questioned with frustration.
"because at one point of my life, he was all i had. i've never felt a love like the one i shared with him, paris. he made me a better person. he loved me like no one else has before. and i've never loved someone as much as i loved him."
"but he hurt you."
"paris, can i ask you something?" marcie decided to question him now. he nodded and she proceeded to speak.
"i know about you & fraser. even though he's barley told me anything i can read him easily. and i can read you. he told me that gigi found out that he slept with kendall but didn't tell me how. then he's been acting so odd and then i noticed how distant he became with you."
marcie was putting the pieces together of what she knew for the most part. paris felt anxious at how accurate she was and where she was going with all of it.
"he hurt you didn't he?" she asked.
"yes..." paris admitted even though he wished he didn't.
"and i've seen the way you look at him. don't bullshit me either. i know you care about him too." marcie called him out.
"since when did this become an intervention?" paris stared at her.
"i'm just showing you how it is, paris." marcie shrugged.
"that no matter what they do to you. no matter what they say. it could be the worst the things. they could be horrible towards you yet you still love them. but you wish you could just let go because of how much of a pain it is to love them."
paris frowned at marcie. knowing she was completely right and tried his best to keep himself together.
the pain in his chest didn't feel as heavy as before because he finally knew someone felt the same pain he did.
"your mind says to look away and forget about them but your heart is what craves them the most." marcie finished while she wiped a tear from her cheek.
"i wish it would stop, you know? i've never felt something like this before. i don't know what to do and he wouldn't..." paris stopped himself from finishing.
"he wouldn't understand that i'm not good enough for him. he wouldn't listen to me." paris looked down at his hands.
"it's fraser, paris. he won't listen to anyone." marcie said making them both laugh.
"he's not like anyone i've met before and that scares me. i wanna be better, i wanna do better for him." he said.
"then why don't you?" marcie asked.
"i'm afraid... i'm afraid that by if i show myself to him, my true self, then he won't want me anymore." paris looked up from his hands and focused his eyes on marcie.
"fraser might be a lot of things but one thing he isn't, is a bad person. if you talk to him and tell him everything, he'll try his hardest to understand you." marcie said softly.
"i say you do whatever you need to in order to make yourself feel more mentally stable for not only him but yourself. don't ever forget to put yourself first, understand?" she added.
"i cannot believe we had a fucking therapy session in a bathroom stall." paris stated with a playful smirk on his lips.
"shit happens, dude." marcie shrugged in response with a grin.
not even five seconds later, a group of people rushed into the bathroom. the rest of the band literally trampled themselves into the small woman's bathroom all at once.
"jesus christ, marcie! are you okay?" lawrence spoke for everyone.
"i'm fine." she said, looking at paris who nodded then back at the others.
"don't you ever run off like that! i thought someone took you! i thought we were gonna have to drop a whole ass album without you! and we both know i cannot continue my life without yo—"
"fraz, for the love of god. i'm good, okay? i'm right here. nothing happened to me!" marcie clicked her tongue in annoyance at the blonde.
"you literally look like you just went through five stages of grief." lawrence called her out.
"rence!" vanessa scolded him.
"wait, why are you two in the stall? on the floor?" maise questioned paris & marcie's positions.
fraser felt his heart drop.
"i came in here crying and paris, for some reason, was also in here when i was crying my heart out. he was just making sure i was okay." marcie explained.
"hey paris, where's that blonde girl you we—"
"that's it, get the hell out of the bathroom, ren!" vanessa pointed towards the door of the bathroom.
"you don't get to tell me what to do, vanessa." lawrence fired back.
all it took was paris and fraser to shove lawrence out the door before locking it and leaving him in the hallway outside the restroom.
"fuck you guys then!" he kicked the door but regretted it when he kicked the door from an angel that hurt him.
marcie now leaned against the sink and paris stood in the corner next to maise. vanessa and fraser stood in front of marcie.
"you saw him, didn't you?" fraser asked.
"yes..." marcie nodded.
"what? who?" vanessa looked at fraser.
"sebastian." paris answered because of what marcie had told him.
"what the actual fuck?" vanessa gasped.
"there's no way!" maise was shocked.
"i saw him standing near the bar with his friends. he was already looking at me when i saw him. i just panicked and ran off. i'm sorry if i freaked you guys out." marcie apologized.
"to be honest, you handled it way better than i would've. i most definitely would be throwing up or trying to fight him." fraser said making the other chuckle.
"i feel better now. but not about him being here, he probably thinks i hate him." marcie sighed.
"i do." paris commented.
"we can try and sneak out of here as best as we can put it's not a guarantee." vanessa said.
"you sure? you guys were having so much fun." marcie said.
"it's not gonna be fun if you're not here, mar. c'mon we can always go out another time." fraser smiled at her.
"but not at this club." maise said and the others nodded in agreement.
"i'll order us an uber then." vanessa said taking her phone out.
but when she did, she nearly dropped it on the floor.
"what the..." she was too shook to even speak.
the others looked at her in curiosity. she wasn't able to explain to them verbally due to how shaken up she was. so she instead faced her phone towards them.
it was an article. from a source that the band hated the most.
the TRUTH about fraser weinheimer: tmz edition.
SI SPEAKS (🧡📙☄️)
😈😈😈
no cuz that therapy session with paris and mar got a little personal tbh. but i love their friendship sm now
we have two VERY interesting chapters next that will be out within this week and the next. please don't hate me after they drop🤞🏽
also it was weird writing smut especially for straight people- I WAS LAUGHING AS I WROTE IT ALDJDKWKSND IM SORRY IF ITS ASS.