A week later they decided to announce their engagement to the public, after all it would have been hard hiding the rings from their fans who seemed to have hawk eyes, especially when Yeonjun refused to remove the ring at any cost. This was supposed to be a joyous time but of course it seemed like nothing good was allowed to last forever especially with their society. All five members were in the living room doing their own things but still spending quality time together. The three younger members were all very happy for the two giving their congratulations until Kai had noticed the sudden change in Yeonjun.
"Hyung you okay? You look sick"
"I'm fine Hyuka don't worry"
Yeonjun managed to plaster a small smile on his face as he locked his phone and tossed it onto the coffee table. Soobin was about to question the older but was cut off when Yeonjun's head that was resting on his lap snuggled deep into his lap making sure to rub against his length. The younger bit back a moan as the stroked the older's hair causing him to drift off into a peaceful sleep. None of the other members noticed the single tear that fell down Yeonjun's face. Soobin noticed the change in Yeonjun's behavior again but was confused this time as the older managed to continue showing affection to his fiancé. They were planning their wedding together and everything so nothing prepared Soobin for the events that were to occur today.
It was the two lover's anniversary since they first got together and Soobin planned a little extra as this was their first anniversary as fiancés. Right after their schedules finished he rushed to put his plan into action. To get the most reaction out of Yeonjun he decided he would push him away and ignore him until it was time to surprise the older. Soobin asked the three younger ones to stay out of the dorm for as long as they could just for tonight, he was walking up to the dorm with a bouquet of roses and a bunny smile plastered on his face. When he opened the door he was hit with a sudden sense of immense dread. He started frantically calling out Yeonjun's name not really knowing why himself. He barged into the older's room suddenly dropping the bouquet to the ground. There was his lover hanging in the middle of the room.
"Y- YEONJUN!"
Soobin rushed to lower his lover to the ground, he frantically called an ambulance practically yelling into the phone before tossing it across the room.
"Junnie...come on baby wake up, please don't leave me I need you, I love you baby don't sleep, please wake up. J-Junnie? Love? C-come on baby please wake up, say something! Anything!"
Soobin choked on his words as he hugged Yeonjun's limp body, he kissed the top of the older's forehead as he sat on the ground rocking back and forth mumbling incoherently. Tears streamed down his face making it hard to see the face of his lover.
"Love...please wake up"
I should have held you close to me all day
+×+
When the paramedics arrived they pronounced Yeonjun dead at the scene. This broke Soobin even more as he watched his lover's body being carried away from him. He then noticed a note on the bedside table, with a shaking hand he reached for the note to read it.
Dear Soobinnie,
My love, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me. And I'm sorry I broke our promise to be together forever. I truly didn't want to do this...but the pain was too much. We received death threats every day and I believed that if I left you then they would stop. That maybe then we could live a normal life just...not together. And I hated that thought so my next option was to take my own life.
This has been something I considered for a while now. To be honest the night you proposed to me was the night I decided I would follow out with my plan. Your proposal though made me change my mind as I looked into your eyes and I saw our future. It was happy and peaceful, we lived together in a two bedroom house, we retired as idols and opened our own little flower shop because you knew how much I loved them. And we adopted a little baby girl who we named Choi Ye Soon.
As I'm writing this letter I'm hoping you would barge in with your bunny smile and dimples on display just to give me a hug because you felt like it...but you never did. I don't hate you for pushing me away today, if anything I feel immense guilt while writing this letter, tears keep falling from my eyes and its becoming harder to see what I'm writing so I'll start wrapping up. Choi Soobin, the love of my life I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me for this selfish action I'm about to preform. Promise me you will move on with your life and continue to take care of yourself, I'm sorry I couldn't keep my end of the promise and marry you. Thank you for everything you've done for me, I love you.
Love,
Choi Yeonjun
Soobin cried himself to sleep in one of Yeonjun's hoodies that fit him, he refused to leave his lover's room for a while till he read the letter again.
'Promise me you will continue to take care of yourself' okay Yeonjunnie...I promise.
+×+
It's been months since Yeonjun's death and Soobin refused to move on fully. He knew that Yeonjun was the only love of his life but he came to accept the fact he was gone. He focused on his solo career after the disbanding of TXT. The group wasn't the same without Yeonjun and they all knew it. Soobin made sure to visit his lover's grave every chance he could and updated him on how his life was doing. He wishes Yeonjun was still with him today and he wishes the older would have talked to him about his thoughts.
If only I hadn't pushed you away that day...I should have fought for our love, the universe seems to have labeled it as forbidden. They have taken you from me but I believe you are free now. I love you Choi Yeonjun, always have and always will.
Soobin walked back to his car when he got a call from his former band mate Huening Kai.
"Hey Hyuka..."
"Hey hyung...did you visit Yeonjun today?"
"I did, I'm just now leaving if you want to come by and visit"
"All right I think I will...um hyung?"
"Yeah Kai?"
"...I'm so sorry"
"It's alright"
The call ended and Soobin laid his head on the steering wheel as he let the tears fall down his face for what seemed to be hours. Memories he spent with Yeonjun played back into his mind and when they finished he had a small smile on his face. Soobin wouldn't have changed a single thing about his relationship even if he could, except he wished he could have held onto his love longer, maybe he would still be with him on their anniversary today but as a married couple.
It's been 5 years since Yeonjun left. And Soobin was doing his best, still visiting his grave but no longer crying every night as he now has a new love in his life.
"Appa!!"
A little girl with long brown hair ran up to Soobin and hugged him tight when he entered his two bedroom house. He had a long but peaceful day working at the flower shop he owned called 'Junnie'.
"Ye Soon!"
Soobin picked the little girl up planting a soft kiss on her forehead. Yes Soobin adopted a little girl just like how Yeonjun wrote in his note, after all this is their child even if Yeonjun wasn't there with them.
"Appa let's go to the couch I wanna show you what I found!"
Soobin sat at the couch smiling as the little girl ran away to her room returning with a photo album. Tears started to form when he recognized what she was holding.
"Appa, who is this boy?"
Soobin looked down at the album with a small smile on his face and tears in his eyes as he mindlessly fiddles with the promise ring on his finger. Without looking up he replies in a soft and tender voice.
"The love of my life"
The End