"Is your work done here?"
"Not yet. Got some more things to solve."
She let out a sigh and then took another puff of her cigarette.
"Will you stop doing that", he spoke suddenly.
She took the cigarette in her hand,
"Stopping what?"
"That", he pointed to the cigarette
"You don't want me to smoke?"
"No." he said in a cold, firm tone
"But you smoke all the time. If I have to say, you are a chain smoker.
Then, why can't I smoke?"
"Because I pay you a lot of money to fuck me, you don't. I don't enjoy enough to kiss a mouth that smells like cigarette and shit."
The rudeness in his voice panged her inside. Though, It was true, he would never let go of a chance of reminding her that she was his paid mistress And nowhere a lover or a friend. She did get a lot of money, but money was not the only reason she was in it for.
"I know it very well. No need to tell me everytime and if I am just an employee for you, just learn to be nicer to me, like all of your employees. you don't think you can get another fuck buddy who would listen to you and tolerate you as much as me?"
He didn't reply, his way of telling her that he did spoke too much. She let out a sigh. This job is becoming too hectic for her. She is not only his fuck buddy but played the role of his psychologist as well without a degree! All the other girls have warned her before about having regular customers, it brings attachment. But, someone as professional as her did not find it to be a problem. She had three regular customer before, a famous politician, a bestseller writer and a businessman just like eric. the writer even wanted to marry her, a great offer she rejected as she really did not have any short of feelings for the guy even though they were together for two years, and marrying for money was never her idea. Who let's go of independence that easily! She also had enough confidence in her bank account. Being an high-class escort made her a respected member of the society and the money problem was out of question unlike other poor girls who were in the same business except they hardly got any money.
Things between her and eric were changing or at least for her. She is dwelling on her emotions more and more everyday. The utmost fear of every escort! She doesn't understand why'd she get feelings for someone arrogant, cocky and cold like him. Who hardly cared for her. She knew a great deal about him and also did not know anything, things the other woman knew. Also she felt a great deal for him. His thoughts regarding her not even like a friend let along anything more than that.
"By the way, didn't she smoke?"
His attitude changed hearing her. He changed his position in the bed and started looking for his cigarette case.
"No. She did nothing too much risky as a teenager. She could not even tolerate the word cigarette when talked about. It disturbed her like hell that I was a smoker. I did not used to smoke as much as now only every now and then. And I started feeling guilty every time I smoked! He stretched his left hand asking for the lighter. She threw it to him.
"Ohh."
She used to not let me kiss her, Because the cigarette smell was too much for her, Everytime she herself asked for a kiss I became upset you know. I even invented my own way of kissing, but it was not enough for me. I always wanted to hold her in my arms but she would not come near me." his voice softened. A lot of emotions in there. He spoke like a young boy madly in love.
I wanted to hide her from the whole world in my arms but she would not come near me, it hurt me so much. You have seen her, she is such a small girl and so soft! I'd feel like nestle her in my chest forever whenever I saw her. She doesn't know I even cried once because she would not come to me when I asked. I just had to give up smoking.
She is a woman not a girl. And such extreme level of passion you hold for her! It's almost unhealthy!
I used to....
Well you are still hurting a lot for her.
I know, I am not gonna feel this way for anyone again in my life. I am just ruined. Stupid thing to talk about.
Can I ask you something?
Yes?
Can you show me, how'd you kiss her, I want to know.
He instantly got up dropping the cigarette in the astray. And came closer to her.
Just the kissing, nothing more. She mumbled.
I never had the intention to do anything more than kissing with her, not before marriage. He said quietly.
She closed her eyes as he held her ever so gently. He placed a kiss on her forehead.
Can you kiss my cheek? She'd always kiss my cheek and say a prayer whenever she thought I was sad! He urged with a cracked voice. So, she did and than murmured,
"Lord, please save him from misery!"
He softly placed a kiss on her lips, as if only touching her lips with his, then played with her hair. And then he again placed another soft kiss. As if it was some game. He rested his head playfully on her shoulder and then began again! She could see the teenage boy in him! Who once was madly in love with a teenage girl and got broken due to it. Something he probably would never heal from.
After kissing her a several times more he just embraced her tightly.
Among all this, he did not notice the drop of tears that rolled on her cheeks.
"Lord, save me as well from the pain I'll feel when I'm gonna leave him!"
15.2.23