𝕾hi hated this, they were ranting about some boat with sheep and crap on it.
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It was after the ceremony, Shi devoured the apples and cheese in the kitchen. But, now he had a job to do. Kill a woman. “So did you enjoy church?” Yua asked.“Um, yeah.” Shi’s hands were so far down his pockets that he could touch his toes. He looked over his shoulder to see a short, boney, hunched over priest looking to be around nineteen or twenty. Just my type, maybe I'll spare him. “What you lookin’ at?” The priest squinted then thrusted his upper body at Shi. Nevermind. “You,” Shi walked up to him, “look like you're the perfect person to accompany us on our trip!” Shi motioned to.. Yum, Yu… Yua! He motioned to Yua and put on the fakest smile he could muster. “And, why in God’s name would I do that?” The priest crossed his arms, “I mean look at you, tattoos, I bet your an alcoholic, and jugdeing by the way you stand your most definitely a queer.” The priest finished. He’s not wrong but I'm still mad about it. I’ll take his kidneys and feed them to his grieving mother.“Well you’re one-hundred percent incorrect, and even if I was, what’s it to you? I was just trying to be nice.” Shi leaned down to the priest’s face. 6'4 is quite the height isn’t it. What's he 5'2 or some shit why is he so small. “No, take your emo ass back to your cheap fuckn’ apartment.” The priest gave Shi dead eyes. Well, damn. This isn’t what I thought a priest was gonna be like… “Well, the more the merrier. Right?” Yua fumbled with the hem of her shirt. Shi turned and smirked at the priest why’ll waving his hands in Yua’s direction. “How'd you know my ex-wife?” The priest crossed his arms. Oh, fuck. How do I fix This? “Um, you guys could be put in the good ol’ get along shirt?” Shi was unsure that this would help the situation at all but it was the best he could think of. “OK, then. Now Yua you’ve moved on this fast? I knew you fell in love easily but I didn’t think it was this bad. Maybe my beatings were plenty justified!” The priest said while angrily walking up to Yua. Maybe I won’t have to kill them, they’ll just kill themselves! “Now, now. Let’s not get too overzealous!” Shi started separating the two, “Yua you’ll be in the front seat, Mr. Priest man, you’ll be in the trunk. Too keep you two separated the whole ride home.” Shi smiled. “Mm, I bet you worship Budda. Fake ass religion.” The priest squinted. The hell is a buda? “Um, no, now get in the trunk!” Shi held his hands in front of his stomach.
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“You- you, didn't even hesitate. You just shoved him in the trunk.” Yua said, worried about her douchebag of an ex. “It’s fine we’re on the road now. Plus my apartment is just around the block. He’ll be fine.” Shi said gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him on earth. Yua could hear muffled curses coming from the trunk of Shi’s Honda Civic. “If you say so…” Yua did not like the look of Shi’s hands on the steering wheel but she was locked in a car with him. “So, have you ever had a threesome?” Shi asked, trying to break the silence. “What!” Yua quickly flipped her head to face Shi. “Just asking…” Shi turned away.
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Man, driving isn’t that fun now that I think about it. Shi pulled into his driveway. “You're one of the stranger men I've been on a date with.” Yua said as Shi popped open his trunk. And, you're the first woman I've been on a date with. Muffed screeching could be heard as the priest squirmed in the trunk.
Shi untied the cloth on the priest's mouth. “You dirty disgusting rat of a man! I will contact god and tell him to send you to hell!” The priest said. How the fuck are you gonna do that?
“No, let’s not fight. Let us just wait inside…” Yua said
☾☻☽
“So was locking him in the bathroom really necessary?” Yua asked, fiddling with her hands. “Yes, we wouldn’t want anyone getting hurt now would we.” Shi started, “Hm, are you in the mood for some coffee?” Shi looked at her. “Yes, actually that’d be lovely.” Yua smiled. Finally, some action! Imma’ kill this bitch.
Shi poured the previously grinde lead into a black coffee. The lead in this amount and mixed with other materials would take around twenty minutes. “Hey Siri, set a timer for twenty minutes.” Shi said. “What's that for?” Yua asked. “Oh, a call from my… mom.” A bead of sweat dropped into the coffee as Shi answered. “Oh, you're close with your mom. A mama’s boy, huh.”
“Yes.”