↳ ship: trustin
↳ category: hurt and comfort
↳ characters: justin, trent, cody, harold
↳ word count: 1588
as trent played the final chord of the drama brothers final song, fallen phoenix, the crowd scream in an uproar.
streamers floated down from god knows where, bouquets and flowers tumbled onto the stage, strobe lights burned into justins contact-shielded retinas. lowering his sunglasses to protect his eyes, justin strutted towards the end of the stage and picked up a fallen rose.
he blew kisses to the crowd and posed, screams growing louder as he approached the sea of fans.
it was well known justin was the fan favorite. although he didn't do any song writing, or song singing, or instrumentals, justin was a key part in the bands publicity. he was the theatrical one, keeping fans entertained. justin led interviews, managed social media, and even controlled his bandmates closets. which was partially why the fans liked him so much, he was a lot more interactive. and a lot more attractive, many would testify.
justin handed the rose to a girl in the audience. her scream rang in his ears and nearly blew his brain out.
the attention was amazing at first. there was nothing justin loved more than other people loving him. wherever he would look on the street, eyes would follow him. people would whisper about him. people would compliment him.
that fame meant so much to him, until he realized, when people complimented him, they weren't comlimenting /him./
in the sea of people all expanded out before him, all chanting and screaming his name, none of them knew him. they knew the man who's wink could send a person to the ground. they knew the man with endless sassy comebacks and comments in interviews or vlogs. they knew his bright blue eyes, or his soft brown hair. bronze, silky skin. sharp, perfect jawline. pretty, perfect everything.
they didn't know the justin who volunteered at nursery homes. they didn't know the justin who shot a milkshake through his nose when he laughed too hard over one of harold's stupid dad puns. they didn't know the justin who was kind, or the justin who was insecure. the justin who felt. the justin who was a person. they didn't know justin.
it was this epiphany he made, frozen in time as he handed off a rose to a pretty, brunette fan with concealer a bit too yellow. she didn't know him. she wasn't screaming for him.
justin wanted to yank his hand back and retch as the two brushed fingers. he didn't. he held his hand still, tracing his index finger down her thumb in slow motion as he transfered the rose gently from his hand to hers. his hand to hers. he pulled his arm back and did that wink- that perfect, horrible wink- and turned around.
he turned and walked away, back to the band. back to trent, cody, and harold.
the curtains drifted shut behind him. justin wanted to scream.
the four made their way to the back entry of the stage. harold and cody were escatic. this was their biggest gig in a while, every seat filled. they were smiling and laughing.
"they loved us up there, dude!" harold grinned proudly, nudging trent in the side. trent chuckled and simply nodded.
it took everything in justin's power to not tear that statement down as it arose. they don't love you. they don't know you.
"justin nearly sent that one girl to the er, i swear she fainted after you winked at her. your power, man, i need it!" cody complimented, grabbing onto justin's shoulder and shaking it.
"you're lucky," was the only response justin could muster. cody laughed awkwardly, though justin's words had no trace of jokery inside them.
trent and justin made eyecontact, a fleeting look of hope and understanding. justin looked away, trent's eyes stayed put on his.
"cody, harold, you guys head out the back and start giving autographs." the lead singer ordered suddenly, turning away and facing his two scrawnier bandmates.
cody and harold highfived. they loved interacting with fans. they loved the meaningless, artificial attraction and attention. they were hungry for it. they needed it.
they knew it was justin's job, but out came no protest. with a shared look of excitement, the two escaped out the back door. justin could see for a split moment, the street full of cars and headlights blaring at them. camera flashes and people talking, shouting.
trent shut the door. the noise stopped.
justin took his hands down from his ears. was he holding them there?
the silence was nice. trent didn't say anything, moving to his guitar and packing it into his case. he helped a backstage worker take down and pack up the sound system.
his sharp blue eyes followed him. justin watched how he worked, peacefully and calmly. casual conversation with the worker as if the two were longtime friends, though justin knew they hired the man only this morning.
justin decided to be helpful as well. usually at this time he would be out conversing with fans, giving autographs and taking pictures. he didn't quite understand how to take down these lights or to safely pack away these instruments. after a minute or two he opened his phone, staying off social media and instead going to netflix.
"i don't pay you to play around on your phone." a voice appeared from over his shoulder, and justin flinched as he turned around. trent was standing behind him, guitar case slung over his back. the worker justin didnt know the name of seemed to have left.
"courtney controls our finances, not you." justin retorted smartly, smirking mischievously.
"she probably cuts my pay, i don't trust her." sarcastically, trent replied. justin smiled lightly. it was good to speak with trent alone for once. he really was easy to talk to.
justin's composure cracked, and so he turned away quickly. god, he couldn't let trent see him like this. picture perfect justin in the middle of a full blown crisis. attempting to mask this wave of emotion, he turned back down to his phone and resumed his show.
trent noticed this. trent always notices this. a shoulder lightly gripped justin's shoulder, the contact warm and strange. his throat closed and his eyes pinched shut.
"please, don't hide from me."
trent's voice was calm, and oh so soft. his words so genuine and trusting. justin didn't dare glance over to peek at those eyes, those perfect green eyes, no matter how much they drew him in.
he wanted to be one with his touch, one with the warmth. he wanted to feel this comfort- this comfort on his shoulder, all over his skin and all inside his soul.
justin's head hung lower in shame, hands drawn up towards his face. he crumpled inside himself, leaning into the body standing beside him. trent stumbled back, gaining new footing as he slowly lowered justin to the ground.
trent sat, justin hugging him deeply and hiding his face shamefully in his shirt. god damnit. he truly lost himself. how pathetic was this?
circles. steady, even circles rubbed into the meat of his back. their cycles became one with justins breath, one with justins heart. he felt himself grow slower. he felt himself drift deeper. he felt much calmer.
time passed. justin did not know how much. he was too lost in his thoughts, too lost in this touch. trent didnt budge from his spot on the floor, tailbone digging into the cold metal slates below. trent didn't dare look away.
justin rose. slowly. they both locked eyes. justin shifted away, trying to find some words to explain. some valid excuse to defend himself from how he had been hugging trent for the past however-the-fuck long. staining his green fancy shirt with tears, mascara, and foundation.
"it's okay." trent reassured. delicately bringing his hand up to justins face. his palm cradled his jaw, thumb wiping the skin beneath his eye. justin leaned deeper into the warmth, never breaking eyecontact.
this time trent pulled him in, arms wrapping from underneath justins arms to around his back. justin reciprocated, hands tangled in the back of trents long, whispy hair. he spun a tuft around his finger.
"i know." trent's words drifted past justins ear, his voice so quiet and close. justin felt a true, deep connection in the form of a string between their two hearts. justin was drawn closer like a magnet.
he hugged himself deeper, the rhythm of trents heartbeat pound against his own chest. he wanted to feel closer. he wanted to feel so much closer. he wanted them to spend every moment together, every experience. he wanted to feel trent, to breath trent, to be one with trent. he felt so seen, so heard. so deeply understood. no false affection thrown at a pillar of beauty. no articial love crafted for the mask on the outside.
trent truly understood him. trent understood why justin volunteered at nursery homes, he wanted to interact with people who didn't care about his fame or good looks. trent understood why justin shot a milkshake through his nose over harold's stupid dad jokes, he noticed harold was feeling insecure lately and wanted to make him feel better about himself. he understood the complexities of justin and how he was actually a nice person, and how he was actually pretty insecure. he understood that beneath that carefree, egotistical exterior justin felt things. he understood that he was a person. he understood justin.
and most of all,
"i know you."