"Maybe today will be the day?" Madison thought to herself, as she walked down the street, heading to the bus stop, "...it should be today.". Madison... Madison wasn't exactly having, what you would call an easy go at life. Life in many ways seemed to be cruel to her for no reason, and she felt like it never let up. Even the day she was born, her mother did not yell in any sort of jubilation, yet simply replied.
"Oh fuck, she looks just like her father." because her mother hoped, in vain, that Maddison could be the child of her then-current boyfriend, which she was given to take was an incredibly sweet man who was ready to be a father. Upon hearing her words could it have done anything but shatter him into pieces.
Her mother and father did not really ever 'know' each other, really. Yet when her father was alive, both her parents insisted that they had dated. However specifications were never given. Which made her feel like they thought she was fucking dumb, or something, she could see they mixed like fire and ice, oil and water.
As time had gone on, it began to hurt her more and more, it accumulated in Madison's heart, slowly blackening her once bright "soul". Death seems to have a nasty habit of following her everywhere, like a shadow behind her, like a coffin strapped to her back. Her father, who she knew so little of, died when she was nine, which to her was fine since they had only met first when she was four, and he wasn't the sorta person anyone would miss.
He was a drug addict, and did what a great many of them do, and died on the street in the cold. However maybe he deserved it, she thought, his parents never stopped helping him, and maybe that was his downfall, maybe if he walked on his own, but that was placing a blame that she knew didn't really matter, it was just shifting the blame of the drug epidemic.
Her cousin Daina died only a month ago, and the only person that gave a shit about Madison, her grandmother, passed away the year before, which to Maddi was a blessing in a way, she knew to see Daina gone and her kids left motherless, would have, in her own words:
"Killed Grandma right then."
Then Maddison started to notice something, it was something she hadn't noticed before, and it was about her mother. How if Maddi said a thing out of turn, a slap or a wack with a belt was sure to follow. Possibly a straight up hit to the face or a brain rocking hit to the head, but always open handed like her mom was making sure not to leave marks others could see. How her mom would say bothersome and worrying things to her such:
"If you ever call social services, I'll beat your ass, and send you away." She always said it in a joking way, right? Madison thought, I mean how could it be another way. Yet she started watching online videos that finally explained these actions and that when she came to a frightening realization, her mother was in fact, her abuser. This revelation had the opposite effect of what was intended, from the videos uploader of course, it just succeeded in making her feel worse and even more helpless.
I mean where could she possibly go, she thought, her grandmother gone, her fathers parents not the sort to live with... What was she to do? She kept questioning, and thus all this had now crystalized something within her, a broken horrid thought in her head, a horrible, awful thought. It felt like a plague within her mind, infecting, intruding on all other thoughts, it was thought no person should ever have to think to themselves... She plans on committing suicide...
In fact every day she woke up, especially the past two months, to this horrible thought, as if it were a dark shadow, watching her from the corner of the room. Waiting there with its sickly smile.
"Hopeless, worthless, little girl... do you have the guts to do it today I wonder?" It seems to sing in her ear and only she can hear. Whispering to her in a sweet voice, her grandmother's voice. "Come with me my dear.."
She hoped to not see her mother's face, for fear her mother would make the feeling worse, thus she took great lengths to avoid her mother whenever possible. For most days the voice telling her to hurt herself was her mothers.
"Pathetic, why did I even, birth... you?!" It snarled in her mother's voice. She would make sure to be home late enough that her mom would be at work, then went to bed an hour before she would be home, if her mom was even coming home, for the bar seemed to be more of a home for her mom. Not that she really ever needed to go to such lengths, cause her mother was typically fucking some guy, and wasn't around really much anyway.
Because every time, without failure, she saw her mother's face. A pit would form in her stomach and the darkness would start in yet again, playing a siren song to her, then she would think, "Yes, maybe today? I can be brave and take my life away." each time getting closer and closer to that edge, never stepping back, at one point she could take those steps back, but now the precipice is here and she can't stop the crying screaming girl inside of her, already broken. Yet those words, her mother's words, were even worse than her face...
They live in Elysa, Minnesota, it was the only place Maddi knew, it was a small town, not unlike many others in the United States, that had a manufactured veneer of charm that glazed over its rotten core, it was all a facade, even the slightest look it would expose the paper mache suit of a fake noblemen; like loosely piled gobs of sand being called 'a castle'.
Adults scowled at Maddi all the time, for whatever their reasons might be. I mean she just wore the things she liked to wear, and what, did that seem wrong to most of them? Metal band t-shirts depicting monsters, scenes of gore, or dark horrors that were too esoteric to describe, were proudly displayed across her breasts. She liked black skirts, and black boots, hell if it was black it was in her wardrobe.
Today was no different, being a girl of seemingly amazonian proportions, even the medium size shirt was still almost a crop top with her chest. A plaid mini skirt. Her usual zip up hoodie, that is always open, and the hoodie's arms were slightly longer than her arms. Her gothic shin high boots, which people seem to think are strange.
This for some reason, that Maddi could never understand, offended the whole lot of them, and many thought they were..."polite" about their disdain. However, more often than not they were just terrible people, and their fakeness was disgusting with its vitriol.
Maddi from time to time would pretend to listen to music, but turn it off and just listen to people talk. She didn't mean to or want to hear what they had to say but found herself unable to shut off her ears. She, at this point, was most happy when people didn't notice her at all, as strange as that may sound.
Though more often than not, she was privy to how quickly just by walking by, or sitting, people's conversation would steer right in her direction. They were like laser guided missiles, mouths of sidewinders ready to strike.
"Poor girl, her life must be terrible." She could hear some say, though they weren't wrong, they acted as if that was the only reason anyone could listen to "that terrible music." as they called it. In fact to be honest she always liked the music she liked because, well simply, CAUSE SHE LIKED IT.
In fact a great many listen to the bigger bands in the genre, but called them "Rock", which pissed Maddi off to no end. When she heard people say, "Metal sucks!" and then in the same breath say, "Oh I love Metallica." A well known Metal band with the word Metal in its name.
Completely understandably, even for her, the screaming side of Metal took some time to get used to; but found within this side, the most passionate bands.
Maddi did her best not to let what people had said bother her, but she would be lying to herself if she said it didn't. All this had made her finally decide that tonight would truly be the end; she just wanted her last night to be her favorite, Halloween.
A single tear runs down her cheek. However she stops herself from crying more. Maddi puts on her headphones, and turns her music up, trying to drown out these horrid feelings. She locks her eyes to the ground, to try to keep anyone from looking at her.
"They wouldn't understand anyway." She thinks to herself, prior experience showed her people rarely listened to anyone else's problems, or they just second guessed everything you said. Her mother was the kind of person that took whatever you said and twisted it on you. Sometimes making you think you were the one who had her idea, and she your's.
"HEY, SEXY GIRL!" Someone yells, driving by with the windows rolled down, which shatters her concentration, like someone hitting a baseball through a window. Though Maddi couldn't really make out what he said and more or less assumed that is what he had said, she surmised it probably wasn't someone she wanted yelling anything at her, and yells back "Fuck you." almost instinctively. Throwing her head up to watch as the dirty muscle car, the guy was in, frantically fly down the road, its tires skidding as it turns, and he runs a stop sign.
"Asshole." She says under her breath, turning back around and continuing towards her bus stop. Once she 'rounds the corner, she can see the other students waiting for the bus. She did as she normally did, which was mostly to try not to be noticed, quickly walking behind the other students, trying to continue to just listen to music, she even went as far as trying to pretend the others weren't there.
Yet, like most of the time, between songs she couldn't help but hear people talking, or see them looking at her.
"What, a freak." says one of two girls, standing near to the front of the loose line of students. The two girls were both blond and wore preppy clothing. Maddi didn't really know them personally, but knew their names were Aly and Sara. Maddi had gone to school with them for most of her life, but never found herself befriending them in all that time.
"I think she is a lesbo." Maddi reads, as the words flow from Sara's lips.
"Na, isn't she-" But Aly turned away before Maddi could finish reading her lips. Maddi did her best to go back to her music, and found herself headbanging to the music as she normally did at home. Though not as much as she did when she was truly alone. At home she would sing along (or if the song called for it, screamed), and thrash around in a jubilant display of musical enrapturement. She would even prance around like she was on a stage, as thousands sang with her.
However, at the bus stop, within a few seconds she could feel eye's upon her. But this wasn't a moment she couldn't really stomach their looks, and continued to headbang. Pretending that she hadn't noticed that some people were looking at her.
Yet looking through her hair, as she continues headbanging, she watches as some of the students continue to look on in disgust, shock, and some even horror, which she, herself, always found somewhat amusing, though she never did it for their attention.
After her song was over she heard one of the boys, as if he could hear the music himself, call her a freak, at the exact right moment for her to hear. This made her keep going, cause if she is a freak to them already, why try to change their minds. "It's just one more day." She thought.
After a couple of minutes the bus arrived to take them to school. Maddi let everyone else in first, and then went to take the first seat she could; which was in the middle/front of the bus. She pulled up the hood of her black hoodie, and continued to listen to music.
Maddi tries to pretend things are ok, and starts to think about what she is going to make tonight to eat. "What is a good last meal? What could I make that Wes wouldn't suspect something was wrong?" she wonders, trying hard not to cry, as she thinks about her ever approaching end. Then, she feels someone hit her in the head with a piece of rolled up paper. She doesn't move. "They can't know, you noticed." She thinks to herself, then pauses her music to listen to the other students and hears.
"What a spaz!" yells a boy who was at the bus stop, "All that...Whatever she does with her head."
"Probably just an attention seeker. I bet you she cuts herself." yells another boy.
Maddi turns her music back on, "they can't even be original in their hate. Why can't they just leave me alone?" she thinks. Every time she hears someone say 'cuts herself' she feels like it is stabbing her in the chest. Not that Maddi had never thought about cutting, but the thought of enduring more pain, especially physical pain, is too daunting to be even an option.
Maddi hated to think this but; she felt too weak to cut herself. In many ways she felt cutting oneself, especially in a visible place, was far stronger than she was because they were trying to get help... right? She knew she wasn't even strong enough to try to get help.
But from what she saw in the movies, she knew what happens if you tell certain people, certain thoughts. Like how she could describe in vivid detail how she imagined, on particularly bad days, the many ways she would like to disembowel, dismember, or desecrate her mother's either living or dead corpse, and many other frightening words that began with D. Yet she knew that doing things of said nature aren't really constructive, and some would even say ill advised.
Yet like most days, more so on days like today, all the hatred turned inwards, and all Maddi can think of is to inflict death upon herself.
"Wow, that's messed up, don't you think?!" yells a different girl, who was in front of Maddi, the girl had turned herself around to look fiercely at the boy. The girl's glasses begin fogging up with anger.
"What does it matter to you spazzoid?" says the boy who says she cuts herself. The girl who started to defend Maddi, gets visibly infuriated and looks at the whole group with a palpable disgust that almost makes the air in the bus feel thick.
"How fucking DARE YOU!! How fucking dare you trivialize something so hard for people, you assholes! It's not funny, it's not amusing and it's not cool to make light of someone fucking hurting. You should be ashamed of yourselves!" The girl practically screams at them. A few of the students get visibly sheepish.
"It's-it's not like the crazy freak can hear us anyway." The one kid who has said cut herself replies, his tone low and forlorn.
"Oh Yeah? Well I can hear you, you little dick." The girl replies.
"M-mind your own business... you geek." says Aly. The girl who stuck up for Maddi, turns back around and the kids continue their belittling of people's pain but low enough to not attract the girls ire again. However, just loud enough that Maddi can hear them.
Before she can hear the rest, Maddi turns her music back on to full blast. She looks out the window, feeling like she might start to cry, and she asks herself. " Thank you, whoever you are, but don't throw yourself under the bus for me. I'm worthless."
The tears begin to flow but she stifles them back "What did I do to deserve this? They don't even know me. They get to go home to their parents, and I barely have a parent. They don't even ask." Then the cold feeling comes into her head that has, for as long as she can remember, never been far from her mind. "I know I'm a freak. I know no one wants me." The loneliness creeps in and even her music can not stave off it's clutches. " I deserve death, at least it's embrace will be the end of all this."
Then she hears her mother's cruel voice, as she tries her best to hold back the tears, yet can't as they stream down her face, yet she sits without a sound, hearing the terrible words, "You're worthless, just like your father. You piece of shit." the words echoing in her head, her mother had even forgotten birthdays of her's.
The bus ride seems to become endless as her mind keeps repeating her mother's voice. Then another voice starts to talk to her yelling "No one wants you. All you bring is death to those close to you. Your grandmother let herself die just to get away from your sorry excuse for a human being. Kill yourself, kill yourself." repeating over and over again. She puts her head in her hands and starts to rock slightly back and forth, the tears streaming down, as she tries so hard not to make a sound.
Then suddenly a hand falls on her shoulder, the hand of the bus driver. She had been crying so hard that she had not noticed that the bus had arrived at school.
"Are you alright?" He asks, in a light tone. Maddi looks at him, her eyeliner mixing with the tears as they keep coming. Maddi hiccups as she begins to speak.
"I'm fine." Then Maddi grabs her bag and pushes past him. Running off the bus, she puts her hood up so no one can see her face and she runs straight for the nearest bathroom. She runs into the bathroom and straight into a stall, after making sure no one was in the bathroom, she sits down on the toilet seat and sobs into her hands. She tries her best to keep the sounds she is making to a minimum, so any other student or teacher who might happen by couldn't hear her.
Hiccuping she grabs out a power bar to eat hoping that the food will take her mind off the crying. She starts to eat as the tears continue to come out, every once in a while stopping to let out a whimpering sob, and a deep breath in while crying. Finally the voices stop and she is able to pick a song to listen to, to help her calm down.
Looking at her music player, she picks the song "Bring Back The Plague" by Cattle Decapitation and puts it on repeat. After a further few minutes she calms down, and comes out of the stall. She looks at her face in the mirror. Noticing her makeup is now completely a mess, she thinks.
"Gonna have to fix this."
She grabs out her makeup bag. She then cleans her face and begins reapplying the makeup. She starts to sing along with the song as she does.
"These scattering rats, their diseased existence, earth's megalopoli, a plague focus, eradicated with Death's persistence" she sings lightly. As she starts again on her eyeliner she sings.
"Every body, a host, Every body, infected, Corpses white as a ghost, Naturally selected." Then as she finishes she continues sing but says out loud "fuck it all" into the mirror. Packing up her makeup she walks out, as she's walking out, she flips off the mirror with her arm behind her. She starts off down the hall, while continuing singing lightly to herself, "Bring back the plague, Delete those that threaten a new world, Start today, Dig their graves, they'll find a way, To rid the world of finding new tomorrows, End of days, Dig those graves, Bring back the plague, Even if it means your own survival, Is at stake, Dig your grave."
While she sings the "delete those" part of the song, off in the distance, she notices a male teacher quickly darting away into a hall. He is clutching something large and black, close to his chest as he runs.
"He must be late or something." Maddi thinks, and continues down the hall toward where the teacher was heading. The teacher practically slams into a door as he quickly turns left into one of the school's other hallways. As Maddi comes to the same door, she looks into the small glass window in the door, and she sees the teacher talking to someone, stopping to take a closer look, she tries to see what the other person looks like, however the teacher is almost directly in front of the figure, obscuring them, Maddi watches him as he hands a large, thick, white book to the other person. Maddi opens the door ever so slightly, to listen to the teacher.
"We have fou-." The male teacher begins to say, but is cut off, as her best friend Wesley Keres Mortviande, or Wes as she calls him. Jumps out of nowhere and scares her.
"Dick bag." She says to him with a smile, as she playfully punches him in the shoulder. She looks back into the doors window down the hallway, yet both the figure and teacher have disappeared. She thinks that it was weird, however quickly turns her attention back to Wes.
"What were you looking at?" Wes asks, looking into the window right after her.
"Nothin', just some teachers, doin' who knows what." She replies looking into Wes's eyes.
"Soooo, we still hanging out after school today? Gore movie marathon, I mean it's tradition, am I right?" Wes asks while raising an eyebrow, in a comically lack of swagger type way.
"Of course, you dweeb." She says, holding her books to her chest and trying not to blush at him. "You got all the Evil Dead's, right? Halloween can't start off without Bruce Campbell as." She says. Then they yell in unison "ASH MUTHAFUCKING WILLIAMS!" and high five. The bell rings out right after they do this, for the first period.
"Alright home slice, see you at lunch." She says, beginning to walk away.
"I can't wait." He says, but too low for her to actually hear it.
She goes into her first period and listens to her music as she starts to think about going home and hanging out with Wes for the last time. Her teacher starts a roll call, she doesn't turn off her music but reads his lips for when he says her name, she says present and then goes back to focusing on her music. After a few minutes of class going as normal, she can feel the eyes of someone on her. She glances around the room to see a boy looking at her, when their eyes meet he gives her the sign that she should hang herself, she gives him a shit eating smile and flips the boy off. Him and his friends start to laugh. Still holding her finger up, The teacher stops in front of her. She shoves her hand down in an attempt to hide the finger she had been giving to the other student, and in one swift motion, turns off her music.
"Homework, Miss Nillson?" The teacher asks firmly, but not antagonistically. Maddi looks down at the desk and shakes her head "no" meekly. "And why not miss Nillson?" In her mind she thinks "cause it would require me to care about something.".
"Sorry, I just didn't do it." She replies sheepishly, while still averting his gaze and keeping her eyes fixed on her desk. The teacher gives her a look of concern, however continues on. Maddi is still keeping her head down towards the desk, and starts to think. She knows the teacher probably means well but is too caught up in his own life, to understand what Maddi is going through.
Maddi just sits in class, forlorn as she tries to just sink into the background, maybe then, she thinks that the others will just leave her be. Maddi grabs out some paper and begins to draw, she in fact draws through the entire period as it seems to pass in a few minutes. As she gets up and starts packing her things to go to the next class carefully waiting till everyone is gone, so no one will try and talk to her. However as she grows close to the door, the teacher stops her, and motions to come to his desk.
"Listen Ms. Nilsson, I know you're a bright girl. I've seen it in the few times you have actually done your homework. I just don't know what goes through your head." He says with a sigh, as Maddi is opening her mouth to say she is sorry he abruptly says, "But I can see you don't want to apply yourself, you just want to sit there and do nothing, and you know what young lady, your laziness will come back to bite you."
Upon hearing this and now understanding the look they gave was not a look of concern or sympathy, but an indifferent cruelty. She looks at the teacher in disgust.
"Thanks. How insightful." She snarls at him, and she leaves abruptly. As the door is closing behind her, she can faintly hear them say "Pity." In a sarcastic way. "Fuck you, I don't need this shit." She thinks, as she trudged down the hallway with heavy footsteps, making her way to second period, putting her headphones back on, listening to try to get lost in the music again, trying desperately to drown out the voice telling her she is worthless and that even the teacher can tell. She picks up her pace as if she were running from some dark shadow behind her.
She finally darts into her second period class, once she puts a foot in the doorway she starts to feel a little bit better, she is in one of the only classes she enjoyed history and she is met with the one teacher that she likes.
A one Hugo Alexander Archers. He is a very tall, slender man, who's gentle voice always makes Maddi feel strangely safe. The man was cordial with all his students even so, he seemed to take to Maddi with a fatherly demeanor.
He gives Maddi a warm smile when she walks in, she sheepishly tries to smile back however her head was still slightly ringing with self hatred. She takes a seat, then grabs out her textbook, and he walks up to her desk.
"Morning Miss Nillson, it's The Battle of the Somme today, bloodiest battle in history. Should be right up your alley." Mr. Archers says with a chuckle, and gives her a gentle tap with his textbook. She doesn't really look at him because she is stifling back tears. He bends down at his knees to get down to her level at the desk. "Is everything ok Maddison?" his face now wrapped in concern.
"I'm ok, Mr. Archers... Just tired is all." She says, giving it all her might not to sniffle or show she was trying hard not to cry.
"Maddison, I can tell something is wr-." He begins to say, but the other students start arriving and the class bell is close to ringing. "We'll talk after class." He says, and walks away towards the chalkboard. The students piled in and soon the class was in full swing. Mr. Archers ran about the room telling the class about the battle. Energized with enthusiasm about teaching the kids history.
Though some kids were tuned out and not paying attention, Maddi, along with many other students, were enthralled by him.
"So both sides were locked into a frighteningly small area onto which an enormous amount of firepower was poured. The battle was an offensive to expel the German forces. More than half the Artillery Shells failed to go off." He says as he talked with his hands and did emphatic gestures about what he was saying. "The Germans, oh the Germans, were well prepared for the battle, but they still could not win against the Allie's. The Allies practically put up a wall around the Somme, of fierce resistance."
Maddi's active imagination went wild, as he continued to teach, she could see the people dying, and hurting. She could see herself in them, like they too must have known their ends were close at hand, but yet they fought. She wondered what could give any one such strength? How could she ever hope to make it through, like them? They went to war, but she just wanted the pain inside to stop.
Just as Mr. Archers had given his last talking point, he noticed that the class was almost over.
"Well y'all we are gonna have to stop there for today. Please come up and get your homework for tomorrow, then place last night's homework in the basket. We will pick up tomorrow, with the Western Front." He says ending his sentence in a playfully ominous fashion.
As Maddi walks up to put in her homework and grab tomorrow's, she decides not to talk to Mr. Archers about her feelings. A part of her really wanted to, but another part of her said he didn't really care, she was just a paycheck. Even worse, it said he might try to stop you, and the pain will never end in a hospital, all drugged up.
So she quickly put down the homework, but did not grab the next day's homework.... She wouldn't be there to need it. She practically sprinted out of the room.
"Maddison, wait!" Mr. Archers yelled, but Maddi just ran to the next class.
Third and fourth period were a blur, and Maddi just wanted to go to lunch to see Wes. She thought about him so much more since she knew what she was going to do. "I hope he won't miss me, I'm not worth it" she thought. "Just give me one last night with him and then the pain will be over."
The third period, which was math, just flew by as Maddi drew and listened to music. Oddly enough the teacher, who Maddi was sure she had seen early that day, wasn't there, a sub was in her place. Maddi took note of this because this teacher was always at school, even when a lot of teachers got sick, she was always there. As the class bell rang Maddi took off one of her headphones as she walked to lunch, and heard one of the students talking to another, about the teacher's absence.
"How was Ms. Fynes today, first period with her was weird. Some guy came in and talked to her while we did the practice equations." One says to the other.
"Strangely, she wasn't in our class at all today. But did you see Jimmy, backflip and dive off that cliff..." The other answered, but Maddi walked down to the lunch line to get food and didn't hear, or for that matter want to hear the rest of the conversation. She sees Wes in the line, she slowly sneaks up on him and yells.
"What's up fucker!" and Wes jumps a foot in the air being scared shitless.
"NO PROFANITY YOUNG LADY!!" Yelled the lunch man, and pointed his serving utensil at the two; Maddi and Wes both laugh, in a hushed manner.
"Sorry dog." Wes replied, in a half hearted attempt to calm the lunch man down. "Ggggggiiiirrrrlll, you're gonna get us in troooouuuuble." Wes continues as he talks through the side of his mouth, obviously joking with Maddi.
"Hey turnabout's fair play el cap'itan." Maddi whispers into Wes's ear. Wes shushes her playfully and pretends to look around as to say, whatever do you mean. After getting their lunch, they walk up stairs to the balcony part of the lunch room. So they can sit at a table with their other friends, who were all already at the table, Marlow and Nick, who are girlfriend and boyfriend, are sitting, as they normally would, playfully feeding one another.
Mar is what is known as pastel goth. She wore, black lipstick, bright pink knee high, high heeled boots, pink striped arm warmers, pink nail polish, a tight black two piece dress, pink cat ears, raccoon like eyeliner which covered most of the space around her eyes, with pink and baby blue eyeshadow around it. She had her legs wrapped around Nick, and sat to the side of him.
Nicky or Loco as he and the group typically called himself, was your classic metal kid. He wore a band t-shirt of the band Agoraphobic Nosebleed, of which has skeletons carrying a burning coffin adorning it, his black bandana, tight black skinny jeans and steel toe boots.
"Yo what's up ya cunts!" Loc yelled out as the two sat down.
"Yeah, what's up with you bitches? Still doing your horror marathon tonight?" Mar says joining in with Loc, as she chewed a piece of pizza that she took from Loco's plate. Loco in turn grabbed Mar's pb n' j and took a substantial bite out of it. "Strawberry jam love, just like you like it."
"You two need to get a room." Wes says playfully jabbing at the couple.
"Boy, they need a whole house." Maddi chimed in. Mar sticks her tongue out at Maddi.
"Aaaanyway, your marathon you still doin' it?" Mar asks again, raising her eye suggestively when saying 'doin' it'.
"Yes we're having the marathon." Maddi says with a vexed tone.
"I think as long as you're not watching Teeth, you could... Do both." Mar says salacious. This made Maddi blush but luckily the two boys had begun talking about guns, explosives, and some action movie that Maddi probably had seen but wasn't paying attention to at the start of the conversation to know.
"Shut up Mar." Maddi whispered while looking down at the food to avoid anyone knowing she was blushing. Mar, however, had already become acutely aware of what she was doing to Maddi, and gave her a devilish grin.
"Sluttier than usual I see, halloween or?" Mar asks while motioning with her head towards Wes.
"Marlow, please shut up." Maddi whispers even lower this time and has become a bright shade of scarlet. Yet Marlow was a better friend than an outside observer might have thought; as she changed the subject of the conversation quite quickly.
"See Extra-natural last night?"
"No, I went to sleep before she came home." Maddi remarks.
"But you never miss an episode... Even when that cunt is coming home. Is everything ok girl?" Mar asks with concern emanating from her voice.
"Everything is fine Mar." Maddi says trying hard not to give Marlow any indication that something was wrong. She quickly looks at Wes and says. "What are you two little anarchists talking about?". Loco looks at Maddi with a face charged with enthusiasm.
"Oh girl, you have no idea, my dad got these insanely illegal bullets." Loco says, not once breaking eye contact with Maddi. "They're called Black Talon's." he lets out a little chuckle. "They're jacketed hollow-point bullets with perforations designed to expose sharp edges upon expansion. Probably shred through a zombie's head like a hot knife through butter." a wide grin had stretched across Loco's face at this point.
"I doubt they are 'insanely illegal' bud." Wes intejects, as he chuckles and he takes a bite out of his pizza. This irks Loco a bit.
"Dude of course they are, my dad told me, and he doesn't lie." Loco remarks in frustration.
"Like chemtrails giving frogs breast." Wes posits.
"Or the freemason's making love to imaginary friends to make new ones." Maddi chimes in.
"Or the coke company making new coke, to jack up the prices on regular coke." Mar remarks, as Maddi almost spit takes. After a second or so Loco chuckles and says.
"Ok he lies a lot. He even told me once that the dead animals on the side of the road were sleeping because the road was nice and warm. I think he means well but he is seriously way out in left field sometimes I swear." and just as Loco finished his thought a cup filled with soda hit the back of Mar's head. To which the whole thing splattered over the table, getting Maddi wet and soaking most of the food.
"Awww man i was fucking eating that." Wes grumbles.
"Sorry I meant that for the other freak. But why don't you both go and cut yourselves anyway!" Yells the Sara girl from earlier in the day.
"Fucking attention seeking, cutters." Yells Aly right after Sara, and the boys and girls at their table start laughing about what had just occurred.
Maddi feels the anger and sadness being bottled up inside her explode to the surface. "Fuck this." Maddi thinks, as she gets up from the table and quickly begins to walk over to the table.
"Maddi!" Wes exclaims, as he tries in vain to grab her hand. Maddi grabs Sara by the hair and shoves her face into her food. While saying
"You wanted a problem you fuckin cunt, now your fuckin getting it." and then slaps Aly with full force. As she does, Wes pulls Maddi away, practically having to drag her away, as she wretches forward to continue her attack.
"Let me go, Wes. Fuck you, you barbie doll bitches!" Maddi Yells, Wes had thought quickly and grabbed Maddi's bag. He continues walking her away from the lunch room, as to avoid the teachers who were sure to come and by not knowing the situation would just blame Maddi. Once they are away from everyone, Wes pulls her in and hugs her.
"LET ME GO WES, LET ME KICK HER ASS." Maddi yells, beginning to sob. "They have done this all day, please let me hurt them like they hurt me." Pleading with him, but she soon broke down and was crying as hard as one could in Wesley's arms.
"It's ok, Maddison. I got you." Wesley assures her as he holds her tightly. After a few minutes Maddi calms down and Wes has let her go.
"I'm sorry, I'm going home Wes. I can't be here anymore today." She states. She begins walking out of the school towards the parking lot that heads towards her home, but she turns around "Come with me Wes, please. I-I can't be here today."
"Your mom hurt you again, huh?" Wes asks, but in a tone that denotes that he already knows the answer.
"She came home drunk again. Then she started with the name calling, Wes." She responds, holding back more tears.
"I'm- I'm so-" Wes begins to say, but is cut off by Maddi.
"Don't Wes... Just come and smoke with me. We can start the marathon." He wants to say yes but before he can say anything, Maddi remembers that he really can't leave, cause he is trying to get into a good school. "No, it-it's ok Wes. You need to stay, college and all. I-I'll see you later after school." Maddi then walks off before Wes has time to react. Tears begin to run down her cheek as she goes under the bridge just outside the school's parking lot, and lights up a big joint.