Damian talked to his biological father yesterday on my phone using Facebook's videochat feature. It felt kinda weird speaking to him myself after everything he did back then, but he didn't apologize and asked me for my forgiveness, which I gave. I believe him, so I forgive him and will see him differently, in a much more positive view. Damian enjoyed talking to him on the phone. What I didn't like was that my mom didn't want to be the phone to give Damian her phone and take care of everything else instead of me because I feel like this is something my mom should be doing, not me. I don't want to be the one in charge of Damian being able to have communication with his father like it's not my job. I don't mind doing it but It's something my mom should do because Damian agreed on the video chat after his father texted me on Facebook asking to see Damian. Damian's father told me that he has health issues including cancer, so he wanted to talk to Damian as he fears his death is near. He wanted to speak with my mom but my mom refused, which he understood. He seems like he has changed, so I did believe his apology and forgave him. I'm fine with it all, but I just want my mom to be in charge what Damian having communication with his father and not me. But, I get that she doesn't feel comfortable to speak with him after everything they went through in the last. It's just that I'm reminded of the fact that I have to have some responsibility over my three youngest siblings as if I were their father because their actual father decided not to be a good person and a father. Anyways, I'm just glad it's Friday now and I start my evening shift on Monday. Finally! The terror of waking up early was starting to pull me over to the edge. Everything's getting better!
- August 12, 2022