"If you're going to make that kind of terrible deal without consulting us then you should lower the stakes a little. Realistically speaking can you even do your homework for a day let alone a week? Also first? What are your dreams fuelled by? Bhang?" Gaurav asked.
Jai shrugged it off while Gaurav just grinned.
"Yes and I am a serial connoisseur. Sometimes to add a little variety I watch Rashmi Sharma serials." Chunky stated proudly.
"So? What's the difference between them?" Jai asked Chunky who cracked his knuckles in preparation.
"It's found between the lines in the nuances of the characterisation. You have to be trained to spot the differences between bakwas and even more bakwas my brother. You lack the understanding for me to explain it in one evening. Besides Ekta doesn't make big promises. She's the original for a reason and you'll eventually get her trademark madness as expected. Besides Jai there is no Jodi like an Ekta Jodi, so give her a call and maybe she can set you and Gauri up. It might take a few hundred episodes before something happens so you'll have to wait..." Chunky explained.
"Chunky he's been waiting for more than a couple of years and still he's got nothing." Gaurav interjected making Chunky lean over and slap Gaurav's open palm in agreement. Both were laughing at Jai.
"Meri bezzatti karne ke liye invite Kiya tha na?" Jai gritted his teeth, forcing a smile at the two of them while lifting up each of his hands. He proceeded to simultaneously lightly slap each of them behind their heads. Gaurav and Chunky rubbed the back of their heads still plastered with their annoying grins.
"No but if we get the chance to pull your leg, we're never going to let that opportunity slide. That is a part of our Bro code. But whatever we do, we do with lots of love!" Gaurav pinched Jai's cheek. Chunky pinched the other.
"Haanji, we'll help you but also harass you till the very end." Chunky said.
"Bebe!" Jai called out to his mother who was watching the three of them fight.
"Bas! The three of you!" Lalita cut in. "Someone should build a museum for me to put the three of you inside and on display together. No deal, no concessions. I can't trust the three of you to behave in my living room properly and you want me to send the three of you together to a night club! Absolutely no. Nothing will make me change my mind." Lalita declared while the boys sent each other dagger eyes for mutually ruining their plans.
"Pani Puri?" Lalita said suddenly.
"Yes and half a kilo of okra, one kilogram of tomatoes and five carrots including this one. Exhibit A your honour. I think it got eaten by a wild and hunger stricken animal. Notice the bite marks probably made by its canines." Tara said holding up a plastic bag with a carrot stump in it.
"Oye, that's mine," Jai said and Tara threw it to him. "It's not a wild animal, it's your hungry brother," he said taking it out to finally finish it off. He bit into it theatrically to entertain Tara.
Lalita looked to the plate her daughter was holding as Tara climbed on to her mom's lap to feed her one.
"I thought to surprise you," Jai said with an encouraging smile. "In between this club business I forgot about it," he looked down to seal the empty bag.
Lalita felt a tinge of sadness as her daughter fed her the pani puri. He had bought these for her to make her feel better? He didn't even say anything.
"Mom, you're thinking too much. You need to feel it. See bhaiya madly wants Bhabhi, Chunky bear wants to dance befikre and Gaurav Bhai... Gaurav bhai what do you want?" Tara asked Gaurav. She wasn't sure about his motives.
"I actually don't know. I really was going to go home and work on fixing the Mercedes and then my engines. He wasn't lying but since Jai insists on making unrealistic deals I guess I best also study. Someone has to get a first and make sure the deal is sealed. I can't tarnish his reputation, his reputation is after all my reputation." Gaurav said.
"See Mom, this is the kind of guy you fall into a well for and you think they won't have my back in a club?" Jai grinned draping his arm around Gaurav. He also brought Chunky towards him so he could do the same.
Lalita looked at the three of them and felt her heart swell. Seeing him with the two of them as his support made her feel much lighter. Yet, she was still conflicted. She really didn't want him to get hurt.
"Mom," Tara turned her mom's face to look at hers. It was slightly strange as Tara had worn a thick black moustache made from wool. She had wanted to wear a moustache today like Anil Kapoor - ekdum jhakas. It also had to match her black nail polish. She firmly insisted on that.
"Mom you have to let go of the small worries and think of the bigger picture. If bhaiyya doesn't go to the club, he won't meet Bhabhi. If he doesn't meet Bhabhi then he'll never woo her. If he never woos her then they'll never get married. If they never get married you won't see your grandchildren before you go grey and..." Tara ranted.
"Hold your horses, where are you spinning this tale from and where are you taking it to? I haven't considered any of that happening!" Jai's mom exclaimed while Chunky whispered something to the boys that made them grin. Jai was a little pink in the cheeks too at the mention of grandchildren.
"Exactly but if you do let him go do you know what will happen?" Tara asked.
"No, what will happen my dear?" Lalita asked settling to listen to her daughter's tale."Here have a snack and I'll narrate it to you. It's a simple three structure plot. He'll go the club, he'll ask her to dance and they'll dance - maybe even flirt." Tara began.
"Wow, she's good. She's got it all scripted. I wonder where she gets it all from." Chunky murmured to Jai.
"She's my sister. She's bound to know me well and the rest is probably Rohit Shetty inspired." Jai said. Chunky and Gaurav nodded in agreement.
"But then there's a twist!" Tara said.
"Twist?" The others mouthed. Gaurav looked to Jai in worry. Jai shrugged encouraging him to hear Tara out. There was more to come he was sure.
"Yes! Suddenly the lights cut out and the music changes to a heart touching romantic number. Something slow and melodious." Tara continued.
"I like this twist," Jai said nodding to Gaurav to affirm he was right. Gaurav shook his head feeling that Tara had something up her sleeve.
"They'll feel awkward at first but then they'll look into each other's eyes prompting their heart beats to synchronise." Tara added picking up a pani puri to stare at it like she thought how two lovers would. To the boys she looked like she was trying to explode it with her mind. She looked very angry but strangely cute.
"This is getting interesting," Chunky said as he began to hum to set the mood.
"Adrenaline will rush through their blood system, their brain will release dopamine, serotonin and even oxytocin - the love chemical." Tara said excitedly. "These hormones will dance through their bodies..."
"Is this a film or a documentary?" Lalita asked.
"Mom, obviously it's a biopic but I'm not going to let them get the science wrong. That would be silly. Anyways you're disturbing me. Where was I? Oh yes! So the cocktail of hormones will rush through them and their blood will start travelling to their extremities heating them up from the inside with uncontrollable desire - "
"And... now you're done for. Your not so bholi sister has taken her Rohit Shetty film and added some Mahesh Bhatt spice. Well it was good knowing you brother, see in you in the next life." Chunky patted Jai, whose expression had completely changed. He was feeling more than uncomfortable. What was his sister talking about! Where on earth did she know what desires even meant! She was eight!
"As their pupils dilate and their breathing changes they will get closer and closer together... until!" Tara yelped as Jai pulled her back off their mom's lap and onto his.
He had his hand over her mouth to stop her before she irrevocably embarrassed him in front of his mom. His mom didn't need to know about any of that! That was it, he was disconnecting their internet and selling their TV. And books, he'd need to donate books that were not age appropriate.
"Until the censor board calls cut!" Jai exclaimed while Tara's thunderous expression glared at him. She crushed the pani puri and decided to bite his hand in retaliation.
"Mom I swear nothing like that is going to happen. I have no idea where she comes up with these things. It's going to be family friendly Tara, because her whole family will be there to watch it happen live!" He stated to her. She sat up and huffed.
"You didn't even let me finish! I was going to say until they fall in love and live happily ever after. But now I think a Godzilla like monster should stomp through chased by two Ferraris and five monster trucks that then turn into robots and perform the lungi dance. That's much more interesting than a so called passionate lip lock -"Tara struggled and Jai covered her mouth again but this time with a relaxed grin. Maybe the TV could stay but with restrictions.
"Rohit Shetty ke chamche," He tickled her. "Shoving an unnecessary vehicle stunt into even a straight forward love story." He told her off.
"My guru taught me well. Action is so much more fun than romance. Romance is so boring. Nothing even happens!" Tara wailed dramatically in between bouts of laughter. Jai threw his head back and laughed.
"Nothing happens huh? And you know what meri Choti aur naughty maa, that's perfectly fine with me." He declared as he then hugged Tara and helped her to eat a replacement Pani Puri.
Gaurav and Chunky also laughed at how Tara kept Jai on his toes. Perhaps she should come with them as a chaperone. With her around, Jai wouldn't dare step out of line.
Lalita leaned forwards and watched the boys take turns to tickle Tara as they continued with their discussion on films. They were certainly growing up. All her kids were growing up. Sooner or later Lalita knew Jai would be looking for a companion different to his brothers. He would answer the call of love like many before him. And it seemed this special friend was already called Gauri.
A bittersweet feeling washed over her. She wanted him to fall in love. She wanted him to experience true love deeply but she didn't want him to experience the heartbreak that often followed. She didn't want him to follow in the footsteps of Ranjha or Majnu. She had grown up with these stories but she didn't want her children's love stories to follow that narrative whatever happened. Those tragic tales were best left as they were - as tales - while her children lived their lives as happily as they could. Watching them feed each other Pani Puri Lalita made her final decision. It was time.