Isabella's POV
I can hear it, thumping loudly in my ear, I try to open my eyes but they are too heavy and I'm just too tired to try very hard.
It's a heart beating under my head, I can faintly smell Dominic's masculine cologne. I know I'm in his arms. The last thing I remember is sitting in my shower with a gun and Noah...poor Noah, I've never seen him broken like he was...I did that, I caused him to break.
I let my mind go back over what happened, every detail. Why am I alive? I was supposed to die, I don't want to deal with life after "this" again. Especially with my brothers and cousins to witness how messed up I am, how weak and pathetic I am. Marcus's words about the mafia and how my brothers will use me when the time is right for them to benefit, plays in my mind. Maybe he's right, maybe that's all I'm good for. I have to be ready to leave them but for now I'll just play along, what other choice do I have?
"Has she woken up yet?" I hear Noah ask in a whisper.
"No, not that I know of, she is stable though so don't worry" Dominic replied.
"It's almost 10 a.m., do you want me to hold her so you can get some sleep?" He asks Dom.
"Sure, I've got some things I need to take care of, you'll find me in Elijah's office if you need me and let me know when she wakes up, okay?" He tells Noah as he stands up with me in his arms.
Noah sits down and I am placed on his lap resting across his chest and shoulder. I feel him kiss my head. A blanket is tucked around me.
"I'll have one of the guys bring breakfast up for everyone, call me if you need me." I hear Dom say before I hear him open and close a door.
Noah gently takes hold of my hand, threading his fingers between mine.
"I'm so sorry, Bella, I never should have left you with him. Please forgive me. You scared me, I watched you dying, please, please don't ever leave me, I love you and I need you, so please fight. I'll help you, I'll even teach you how to fight. Your the strongest person I know, you can get through this, I will help you in every way possible, I promise Bella."
Noah whispers to me as he gently squeezes my hand.
His words bring tears to my eyes and I slowly open them, they are still heavy as if I have weights on them but for Noah I will try. I blink to get the tears out and clear my vision but it's still a little blurry and out of focus. I'm hoping that goes away but I'm too tired to care much.
Noah moves his head back so he can see me better.
"Hey Bella, did you hear what I said?" He asks me. I give him a small nod in response.
"I meant everything I said." He pauses and then a mischievous grin plays on his face showing off his dimples. "You know if you play your cards right I bet you could get anything you want out of this...like maybe even a horse." He tells me and winks.
I try and give him the slightest crack of a smile but my eyes refuse to stay open any longer and I fall back into a light sleep.
"Sleep Bambina, I'll be right here, your safe with me always." He kisses my head as I drift off.
I feel like I'm floating, it must be the pain meds. It doesn't feel like long after a female nurse comes in and helps me to the bathroom. When I come out all my brothers and cousins are in my room. This time Nick picks me up, I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder as he sits down. I don't feel like saying anything so I just close my eyes and relax in Nick's arms.
The guys were all eating breakfast and Elijah woke me up and forced me to eat something so I ate a hash brown and fell back to sleep on Nick.
When I woke up again I was in Alex arms, my back was throbbing and my head was splitting.
"How are you feeling, Tesoro?" Alex asked me. I just gave a small shrug but squinted my eyes against the light in the room.
"Luca, kill the lights and draw the shades a bit would you?" Alex said. Luca did what Alex asked and looked at me in concern so I gave him a slight smile.
"Is that better for your eyes, Bambina?" Alex asked me, I nod and rest my sweaty head on him. My pain was making me sweat, gross but true. Lucky for me a nurse came in and gave me more pain meds and I started floating again.
Elijah woke me up telling me my therapist would be coming shortly and he asked a nurse to help me to the bathroom. When I was done it was only Elijah in the room, he picked me up and sat down with me.
"Don't go to sleep on me, Tesoro, Miss Julie will be here any minute. I promise you'll like her, she runs the equine therapy program I told you about, as soon as you are feeling better I will take you to the ranch. What do you think, does that sound okay?" He asks me and I nod. I know the nonverbal thing must be annoying them but ask me if I care. I don't feel like talking, I didn't have anything to say.
The door to my room opens and a tall slender woman with a warm smile walks in with a mini service horse at her side.
"Hello, you must be Isabella, I'm Miss Julie and this little guy is Monty. Would you like to pet him?" She kindly asked me. I nod as Monty walks forward stretching his nose out to smell my hand. His nose is velvet soft and he is so gentle and cute, it's love at first sight, it always is with me and horses. I can't help the smile on my face as I stroke Monty's neck and mane. If this is "therapy", sign me up I'll go every day.
"Do you like horses, Isabella?" Miss Julie asked me.
I nod my head yes in reply and continue petting Monty. Elijah is petting him too but I think he is more into Miss Julie then Monty, I've caught him admiring her.
"Do you know how to ride?" She asks me.
"Yes, I have had a few lessons every year since I was five, except for last year" I tell her in a raspy whisper voice since this is pretty much the first words I've spoken since waking up.
Elijah hands me a glass of water with a straw and I accept, drinking the entire cup.
"Is there anything you would like to know about me or Monty?" She asks me. I think she seems really nice and easy to talk too.
"How old is Monty?" I ask.
"He'll be five years old on Christmas Eve this year. He is the best Christmas present I could have ever asked for. You see, I rescued his Momma a week before Christmas that year, I named her Noel, she was very under weight and about to be sold to a kill buyer for meat but I out bid him and took her to my ranch. I had no idea at the time that she was in foal until the vet came to check her and he told me she is close to giving birth. She was weak and I was very worried that she and the foal wouldn't survive the birth but she gained strength with good food and vitamins during that week and gave birth to this beautiful boy." She explains stroking Monty.
"I can't wait to introduce you to the horses at the ranch, we even have two new baby goats that are so sweet, does that sound like something you would enjoy?" She asks me kindly.
I nod my head and smile at her while Monty is nuzzling my neck and I give him a kiss on the nose.
Miss Julie laughs "He really likes you Isabella, he's friendly but usually not this friendly, I think he has picked you as his best friend" she says smiling and enjoying the affection Monty is showing me. I take in a deep sniff of Monty's neck as I bury my face in his soft coat, I love the smell of horse, it always brings back good memories for me.
I really like Miss Julie she is very kind and she has a love for horses and animals in general, if I am honest I think I am actually excited about going to her ranch. I love my family but it will be good to be away for all these males. Miss Julie seems to understand even though she hasn't said it, that I need a female to talk to sometimes, my brothers just can't relate to everything a girl goes through.
I fell in love with Monty, with him here I don't feel like a victim, I even forgot I was in the hospital for a little while. Miss Julie showed me all of Monty's tricks, he reared and bowed, he can count with is hoof and give kisses. Unfortunately despite how much I enjoyed their company my eyes began dropping.
"Isabella, before we leave, I want you to give this to you, it's my card and personal number, you can call me anytime day or night, even if you just want to talk girl stuff or just need someone to listen, okay?" She tells me smiling sweetly at me.
"Thank you, I'll save it in my phone." I say taking the card from her, holding it tightly in my hand. I'm not sure where my phone is so I'll just keep it safe until I can add her to my contacts.
"Great, well I look forward to showing you around the ranch on Monday. Until then, take care, honey and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." She says as Monty gives me a goodbye kiss and I kiss his nose in return. I give a little wave as they leave my room and lay my head back on Elijah's shoulder closing my eyes.
"The doctor will be in soon to check you over but until then sleep, Bambina. I love you, Tesoro." He tells me placing a kiss on my head and wrapping me in my blanket.
I drift off in a lite sleep.
I hear the door open. "How did it go with the therapist?" I hear Dominic ask.
"Good, I think she likes Miss Julie and she seems excited about the ranch session on Monday." Elijah replies back.
"Did she speak to her at all?" Dom asks.
"She did a little, asked some questions about the mini horse and she smiled too, all of which is progress but it's going to take some time for her to process and deal with her trauma, so buckle up brother it's going to be a long bumpy ride I'm afraid, but she'll get through it and we'll help her along the way." He says to Dom.
I stir in Elijah's arms because I don't like them talking about me and my mental state. My eyes flutter open and I lift my head looking towards Dom. I remember our plans to go to my old house so I can get my Mom's belongings. I still want to go, I need to get things from the house and put my backup plan in place in case I need it.
"I want to go to my old house and get my things, I need some of Mom's things. I still want to go." I tell him quietly.
I shocked him, he stares at me for a few seconds before replying. "We'll see what the doctor says about your health and if it's safe for you to fly first and then I will decide what's best for you from there." He tells me.
Elijah rubs my back gently, I know it's meant to sooth me but it actually hurts but I won't say anything because it will make him feel bad. Dom takes a seat on one of the couches with his laptop and begins typing.
Someone knocks on the door and the doctor comes in with a smile, he's an older man with lightly greying hair and a kind handsome face. He reminds me of Dr. McSteamy from grey's anatomy.
"Hello Isabella, I'm Doctor Kline. I'm glad that your awake, sweetheart, how are you feeling?" He asks as he slowly approaches me and Elijah, who's lap I'm still sitting on.
"Like I want to go home." I say seriously.
He smiles and says "If everything checks out well after I examine you then I can release you to go home, however you need to be on bed rest and take it slow when you get up."
Elijah stands up with me in his arms and brings me to the side of the hospital bed to set me down but I cling to him, panicking at the loss of security I felt. I did not want this male doctor touching me, I was terrified all of the sudden.
"Sh sh, it's okay, Tesoro, I'm going to be right here beside you. Hold my hand, I'm not going anywhere." Eli whispers to me, stroking my hair. I calm down a little and squeeze Elijah's hand as Dr Kline slowly stands in front of me.
"Isabella, I will tell you what I'm going to do before I touch you, would that help?" He asks me kindly and patiently waits for my answer.
I nod my head and meet his eyes for a second before focusing on Elijah's large hand engulfing mine.
"Ok, first I need to look in your eyes with this pen light, this may give you a headache but I will be as fast as I can, I just need you to look at my finger and follow it with your eyes." He tells me as he shines this light in my eyes. It hurts and I squint but follow his finger. "Good, can you take your right index finger and touch your nose.? Good, now I need to test your reflexes, I'm going to tape this rubber mallet in your knees and elbows, just relax your legs and arms, I'll support their weight okay?" He asks me, he's very gentle and his movements around me are slow, which I'm thankful for.
I nod in response as he starts with my knees making my foot swing forward on my right side but nothing happened on my left, he did the same taping thing on my elbows. He also poked me with something asking me it it felt the same from one leg to the other, I couldn't feel as much on my left leg as I did on my right, that worried me a little. I knew I could walk but I didn't have as much feeling or strength in my left leg.
"Ok, now I need to check your wounds on your back and hip area, you can stay there and I will go around the bed behind you, ok Honey?" He says before walking around behind me. I have a hospital gown on and sweatpants on under it. Dr Kline opens the back of my gown and I squeeze Elijah's hand and start to shake a little.
Elijah stands up in front of me and takes my head pressing it into his chest as he rubs my arm to calm me. The Doctor and he discuss my wounds and follow up care, I zone out just focused on breathing in Elijah's cologne smell and trying to stay calm. Finally I am covered up again but I can't stop shivering. Dominic comes over and wraps my blanket around me and lifts me up and sits down in the recliner with me bundled in his lap.
"So she is doing well and I don't see a reason to keep her in the hospital any further however she does show some slight nerve damage to her left leg, I am hopeful with time and physical therapy she will regain total feeling and strength but it may take some time. I would like her to have physical therapy twice a week for the next four weeks, we can reassess her in a month to track her progress. Also she will likely have headaches, dizziness and nausea, I will sent her home with medication to help with some of that but I find acupuncture to be extremely beneficial with these symptoms, if your interested I can recommend someone to treat her." He tells my brothers.
"No need Doc, I'm certified in acupuncture and physical therapy so I'll treat her at home." Elijah tells Dr Kline who nods his head in response.
I didn't know he could do acupuncture and I'm not entirely sure I want little needles stickling out all over me.
"Is it safe for her to be on a two hour flight?" Dominic asks Dr Kline.
"Not for at least the next twenty four hours, she needs rest, it's also extremely important that over the next two weeks she does not bump or jar her head at all, she may experience some memory loss and balance issues and she may have a nose bleed at times. The nose bleed and headache would be my concern with the pressurized cabin in the plane, I'll give you something to help with clotting in case that happens but after tomorrow she should be okay if she hasn't had any bleeding." He says to us.
"Thank you Doctor Kline" Elijah says shaking his hand and walking out of the room with him to handle the discharge paperwork.
"Before you ask, yes I will take you back to your old house to get your belongings but we will leave on Saturday, so you will have an extra day of rest. You however are not allowed out of bed when we get home except for bathroom breaks and absolutely no going up or down the stairs until further notice, your brothers or cousins will carry you when needed. Those are my conditions, take it or leave it." Dom tells me seriously.
"I can live with that...for now." I tell him, releasing a huge yawn that I try to cover. Dom chuckles and kisses the side of my head.
"Go back to sleep for now, you'll be out of here and home before you know it." He whispers to me.
I drift off in my mind thinking about "home", both the new and the old one, and all the memories it will hold for me. Hopefully my brothers cleaned up all the blood. A shiver goes down my spine thinking about it. Dom wraps me up in the blanket more and holds me tighter in his arms.
First Sam and now Marcus have left their marks on me both physically and mentally.
I don't know how I will deal with it but I know I can't afford to have a breakdown, or Dom won't let me go get my stuff and I feel this overwhelming need to get the stash of cash, my gun and some ammo that Sam hid in the house and some of my mom's jewelry.
When I woke up, I realized I was in Dom's car, wrapped up in blankets with my head resting on Luca's shoulder. I closed my eyes relieved that I was no longer in the hospital.
When we arrive home, Luca carried me in and brought me up to my room, I hid my face in the blankets because I didn't want to see anything that might bring back memories.
Luca set me down on my bed, which Elijah was already here and pulled my covers back. Luca kissed me and said he would take me downstairs to watch a movie if I feel up to it later, I gave him a small smile and nodded. I don't think I can handle the bright lights from a movie, my head still hurts.
Elijah hands me some water and prescription pain meds, I take them and drink most of the glass. He tucks my comforter in around me and kisses my forehead telling me to sleep and reminding me to text any of the guys if I need anything, before he walks out closing my door softly on the way out.
I sigh, this is really the first time I've been alone since everything happened. I know it's stupid and immature but I can't help my racing heart and the fear at the total quietness around me. I miss not hearing the reassuring sound of a heart beat in my ear and the feeling of security in all those strong arms I have become used to during my stay in the hospital.
I won't cry, I'm not going to cry, suck it up Isabella, your stronger than this, I've been through worse. I lecture myself but I feel my eyes betray me and begin to leak. On one hand I wanted to be alone, I was used to it but right now it reminded me too much of the feelings I had that night, left alone to deal with more abuse. If I'm honest I also feel anger towards my brothers for leaving me alone and breaking their promise to me. I hated that I felt like I couldn't trust them to keep me safe and at the same time I felt like I needed them right now, I needed someone. I felt clingy and desperate and I despised myself for feeling like this. The other confusing side was that I knew my brothers felt guilt and anger for what happened to me especially Noah.
My thoughts just kept going around in my head and I felt like the walls were closing in and my room didn't hold anymore oxygen. I rolled out of bed grabbing my warm blanket and tossing it over one shoulder I opened my bedroom door, it was so quiet as if no one was home. I panicked again, they wouldn't have left me home alone, right?
No, no, they wouldn't do that, everyone must be downstairs. I walked unsteadily down the hall trying to block out the memories as I made it to the stairs. I knew I wasn't supposed to go down the stairs by myself but I had to get away from the memories.
I held on to the railing as tight as I could and took it slow, one step at a time, as I got to the middle I got a little dizzy and sat down on the step taking deep slow breathes until it passed. Once I was made it downstairs I headed to the family room couch and curled up in my blanket, it was still too quiet so I turned on the T.V. for background noise and faced away from the light so it wouldn't give me a headache. I still felt a bit dizzy and lightheaded so I closed my eyes.
After a few minutes I heard the voices of my brothers and their footsteps, they must have been in Dom's office probably have a discussion on what to do with me. I was going to have to be babysat for at least the next two days which was going to suck but I didn't want to cause to much fuss because I really wanted to go with Dom to my old house and get my important things.
I could tell the moment my brothers realized something was off, everyone went quiet when they heard the T.V.
Loud footsteps came in my direction.
"Isabella, what in the hell are you doing down here? Did you come downstairs by yourself? You just got out of the hospital, do you want to end up right back in there again?" Elijah said, he was angry and concerned and raised his voice. I wasn't expecting anger so I covered my ears and grabbed my blanket, wrapping it over my head.
"Eli calm down and lower your voice" Dom spoke. I felt the couch dip beside my feet and the blanket was removed from off my head.
"Isabella, I told you that one of us would bring you downstairs when you were ready, you should have waited, this is for your safety and none of us want to see you get hurt. I will let your disobedience slide this time but from now on you will have one of us help you with the stairs if you wish to ovoid punishment. Am I understood?" Dominic asked me.
I nod my head slightly in response because my headache is in full force.
He looks upset that I didn't speak but I can't find it in me to care at the moment. All I am trying to focus on is calming my breathing.
It looks like I pissed off Elijah, I guess I'm good at doing that. I knew the honeymoon period would wear off soon, it's only a matter of a short time and the rest of them will be pissed at me too and I won't be able to stay here. I'm too damaged now, they will get sick of dealing with my emotional baggage, it like the saying goes "all good things must come to an end."
This is why I have to get my hands on the stuff at my old house. The money will help me establish a new life and some shell companies to hide my identity, I can start "cooking the books" for companies or individuals or I can hack info and sell it, this will be my primary source of income.
I wasn't aware that I have been rubbing my throbbing head this whole time until Dom stops my hand and I jerk it away startled by his touch. He frowns at me, concern showing on his face.
"Does your head hurt, Bambina?" He asks me. I nod and just go back to rubbing it again.
"I'll get you your meds." He tells me, he gets up and walks out. I lie back down and close my eyes, a few minutes later I hear footsteps coming back.
Dom comes in and gives me the pain meds and an ice pack for my head, he kisses my forehead and covers me with my blanket, telling me to sleep and that one of them will be close by if I need anything.
I drift to sleep as the meds blessedly begin to ease my pounding headache. I feel more relaxed hearing my family conversing near by. I know that I am not alone and I'm safe for now.
Eventually I wake up in Noah's arms as he carries me upstairs. I stop him from bringing me into my room because I don't want to be alone. He brings me into his room and sets me in his bed. I hug him tight and lay my head on his chest, falling peacefully back to sleep with the steady beat of his heart in my ear.