☆ FUTURE ☆

2K 46 180
By emsinterlude

i wanted to do exit music for a film for this but it's too long so we'll do as the worlds cave in by matt maltese and again, you are not moving.


VANCE'S POV:
(10:05pm)
THE ONE GIRL I LOVE IS KISSING ANOTHER BOY. Y/n L/n is kissing Bruce Yamada.

I got up from my bed, because I swore I could've heard Y/n's voice. So I checked my window, I wish I never did.

I sink back into my bed. Was this a sick joke? No. It was me. I'm the joke here. I'm Vance fucking Hopper, a problem maker. It's all I ever do, cause problems. So what did I expect? For Y/n to love me? I think she'd rather disappear.

I think I want to disappear. I crawl into a corner of my bed, I try not to smash shit. Did I really believe she would love me? Did some part of me hope that one day I would find the experience of equally returned love?

I dig my nails into my palms so deep that they leave marks, on the verge of bleeding. What's wrong with me? How could I let myself fall into a stupid fucking illusion like that? I became desperate and now look at me, brought down because of a girl who doesn't even feel the same.

She wanted the exact opposite of me, Bruce Yamada. Was I really that much of a fucking wreck? I should've known she was going to choose him.

Bruce was nice, sweet, charming. All I did was scare people. He plays baseball, I waste my money on Pinball. He's an athlete, I fuck people up. He's going to be the next star baseball player, I'll end up in jail sooner or later. He teaches baseball, I need to be taught math.

My eyes feel heavy, I'm sleepy. No. I'm not sleepy.
*DRIP*.
I'm crying. I'm fucking crying. This girl, who doesn't even love me, has me fucking crying.

I get up off my bed, and stand in the middle of my room. Everything feels unreal. I look around, trying to collect the world around me. My heart is trying to escape out my throat. My hands dig deep, far into my palms. My legs are unsteady as they try to stay still. I have to breath in deep to breath at all.

I'm so fucking delusional.
DELUSIONAL. DELUSIONAL. DELUSIONAL.
My emotions control me now.
I yell, curse, I can barely hear my own words under the sound of crashing things.

I bring my hand on my nightstand, I quickly shove everything off my desk. I shove shit off my shelves, taking my emotions out on them. I tear posters off the wall, the stupid things I looked up to. I throw things against the wall, some things breaking, others not.

I throw so much on the floor that you can barely see the the actual floor. Everything flying in the air or lays on the floor. Piece's breaking, smashing, cracking. Water and cigarette ashes spill all around. Everything is a mess, like me.

All these things, that made me, me, are stupid.
Fucked up. I hate these things now, because I hate myself. I can't stand myself.

                                  ⎯ ⎯ ⎯ ⎯
(Y/N'S POV)
10:05
I OPEN MY EYES, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

This was one of the first times in my life that I hoped I was wrong. And I was right. Bruce Yamada loves me, more than a friend.

What does he even see in me? Shouldn't he be with a pretty girl like Donna? How am I even making this about me? This boy just kissed me, and I don't love him like that. I don't love him in that way, how am I supposed to tell him?

I don't want to let him down, i'd rather disappear. I want to disappear in this moment. Fly away. We both slide our hands off each other.

I came here to confess my love to Vance Hopper. And I just kissed Bruce Yamada. My brain can barely think. It's put on pause and I have to force out a reaction. But I can't. It doesnt' feel like magic when I hold his hand, at just feels like it's there.

My face is blank, expressionless. I don't know what to think. I feel like I should want him, but I don't. Why does the universe send me the sweetest boy at the wrong time? This isn't fair for either of us.

"I'm..shit. Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"Bruce." I held his hand.
He took a deep breath, "Y/n. I know your leaving, but I think..I think I like you..more than...you know."

I could do two things, try to hold off the truth until I moved. Or I could tell him the truth. He has a base ball game tomorrow.
"Bruce..." I breath out, I step closer, I hug him.

I don't know what I'm doing. But I leave tomorrow, I can't upset this boy. Not now. I just have to pretend he is Vance Hopper. He slides his hands on my back. I dig my face into his shoulder and I squeeze my eyes shut.

This is Vance Hopper.
This is Vance Hopper.
Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.

"I... I don't want to leave you. And I'm sorry I am, I didn't know. I didn't know how much you would mean to me. I want to keep you in my life. But I cant, I'm leaving. I won't be here, I don't want you to waste your time on me."

"I'd wait for you." He says.
It gets harder to pretend.
"Don't. I won't return." I say.

He doesn't reply. He just holds onto me tighter.
"I will call you. I will send you letters. I will keep in touch, but I can't promise a future, Bruce."
"That's okay."

I peel off of him. But I still gently hold his fingertips.
"Let me take you home. It's late. You have a game tomorrow. That is your future. Cmon." I say.

Bruce smiles softly, his smile is small. But it's something. We start walking to his house.

(BRUCE'S POV)
(10:05 PM)
SHES GOING TO HATE ME FOREVER.

I was floating just a second ago. But now I'm filled with dread. I'm trying to read Y/n's expression, see something, anything. But I can't. Her face is stoic, and it scares me more than a actual angry reaction.

I cant tell if she feels the same or not. She didn't shove me away. But she didn't pull me closer. Does she not feel anything? Am I the only one floating when I hold her hand? It's unrequited love. I'm sure of it.

"I'm...shit. Sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"Bruce." She grasps my hand. My breath almost escapes me.

I take a deep breath to keep it in. "Y/n. I know your leaving. But I think...I think I like you..more than...you know." My own voice doesn't feel real. Did I actually say that? This whole moment doesn't feel real. The earth feels like it's stopped moving.

"Bruce.." She says, she hesitates, she hugs me.

I think, I think this is good. I will just have to treasure this moment for now. I hold her close and she digs her chin into my shoulder.

"I... I don't want to leave you. And I'm sorry I am, I didn't know. I didn't know how much you would mean to me. I want to keep you in my life. But I cant, I'm leaving. I won't be here, I don't want you to waste your time on me."

I say the only thing that comes to my mind,
"I'd wait for you."
"Don't." She says, "I won't return." She says.

I shed a small tear, I won't have her. The one person I want will be gone. How could I speak at a time like this? There's nothing I can say that will keep her here. I can just hold her while I have her.

"I will call you. I will send you letters. I will keep in touch, but I can't promise a future, Bruce."
"That's okay." I lie, but it's not her fault.

She lets go of me but holds my hand gently.
"Let me take you home. It's late. You have a game tomorrow. That is your future. Cmon." She tells me.

She's beautiful, I smile softly. We walk to my house.

A voice tells me something. My gut, it tells me something.

That is the last time I will return home.

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