Katerina PoV:
She was rather slender and had quite a few wrinkles. Her hair was tied up in a ponytail at the back of her head with a few pieces loose at the front to frame her face. She wore a blue button up shirt with a grey blazer, she had a matching grey skirt that fell just below her knees. I will never understand how people walk in those skirts.
We went up one flight of stairs which told me we were only on the first floor. As I walked into her office a noticed a big window that was clearly not bulletproof so if I needed a quick escape route that was it.
I stood up and followed her to her office. "Ok so my name is Christina Raynor, you can call me Raynor or Christina it's up to you." She explained and I nodded. "I'm Katerina but you already know that." I said while not looking her in the eye and fiddling with the zip on my jacket. "You may not know this but I am a special therapist, I legally cannot tell the authorities anything you share in this session unless you are going to harm yourself or someone else." She explained to me.
"How are you?" She asked and I knew I was gonna have to force myself to be honest. "I don't know." I replied still not looking her in the eye. "What do you mean?" She asked while writing something down on a note pad. "I'm happy because I got engaged yesterday but I feel...I feel...I don't know how I feel because of something that happened a few nights ago." I explained to her and she was shocked by my honesty. "Would you like to elaborate on what happened the other night?" She asked and I shook my head. "Why not?" She asked, putting the pen down. "I don't know if I can trust you yet." I explained to her and she wrote something on the paper.
"That's understandable. I know a little bit about your childhood, would you like to talk about that?" She asked. "There's nothing to talk about, I was abandoned by my biological mother and got taken by the red room and sent on a mission that I still don't fully understand then once the man who I thought was my dad got what he needed he Nikola and I over to Dreykov like it was nothing." I dumped on her. "Who's Nikola and who's Dreykov?" She asked and I looked to the side knowing I wasn't telling her who Nikola was because not even Natasha knew. "Dreykov is the leader of the red room." I informed her and she nodded. "Nikola?" She persisted but I shook my head. "Why not?" She asked but I didn't answer her.
I had looked for Nikola but I didn't find anything, there wasn't a day go by where didn't think about her. I assume that she's dead but I will never know. I missed her but I can't believe she didn't tell me that the whole thing was fake.
"Tell me about Natasha, you mentioned you two got engaged." She said completely changing the subject. "Yeah yesterday, after this we are going to look at a house." I told her and she smiled. "That's nice, what kind are you thinking." She asked. "I'm thinking one that's pretty hidden but not in the middle of nowhere, I think that's what she wants as well." I told her and she nodded. "That's good." She said and I nodded again.
"How long have you two known each other?" She asked still writing on that god damn notebook. "Since I was 12." I told her. I was surprising myself with my honesty. "So you two met in the red room?" She asked and I nodded. "Did you two escape together?" She asked and I shook my head. "She got out and then 9 years later I did and then I got involved with S.H.E.I.L.D and we started dating." I explained and she wrote that down as well.
"Have you ever intentionally harmed yourself?" She questioned and I looked up at her but only for a split second. "Yeah but I don't anymore. Whenever something bad happens my mind no longer goes to cutting myself, it goes to Natasha and how I want to tell her." I explained still fiddling with the zip on my jacket. "That's good, and you did that by yourself?" She questioned in absolute astonishment. "Yeah." I replied. "That is hard to do, how did you stop?" She asked finally putting the pen down. "I just didn't do it, I think the way I was brought up kinda helped." I told her and she nodded, picking the pen back up.
Then her phone on her desk rang. "I have to get this I'm sorry." She told me and I nodded. From what I gathered she had to go downstairs to pick up a delivery. "I will be right back." She said while leaving.
I sat there and thought about what I had told her. I didn't like opening up at all. Especially to a stranger. I ripped the piece of papers out her notebook and opened the window. I quickly climbed down the gutter and ran over to the car. Natasha did not look impressed.
I got in the car and she just looked at me. "Hey could you do me a favour and drive please." I asked her and she shook her head. "Please Natasha. I will tell you what happened on the way back." I begged and she gave in.
She quickly drove off and placed a hand on my thigh. "I didn't like it, I hate opening up to a stranger. It makes me feel dirty." I explained to her and she looked saddened. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked and I shook my head as my eyes filled with tears. I folded the piece of paper up and put it in the pocket of my jacket.
I couldn't keep it in anymore. I sobbed and Natasha's phone started ringing. She put it on speaker. "Is Katya with you?" Bucky asked while I continued to cry. "Yeah we are just pulling up to the compound now." She told him. "Why is she crying?" He asked and I tried to stop but I couldn't. "She will explain in a second." Natasha said as she parked and came around to my side of the car.
"Baby it's ok." She comforted as she pulled me in for a hug. "Why can't I be normal?" I sobbed and I heard Bucky start to walk over. "Katya what's wrong?" He asked clearly worried. "I don't know." I cried and he froze. "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE ENGAGED?!" He shouted out of excitement. I laughed at him. "20 bucks!" I celebrated. "You made a bet on your engagement?" He judged while Natasha got my money. "Yes." I replied while giving him a hug.
"How are you and Steve?" I asked while wiping my tears away. "We're going on a date tonight." He said with a smile on his face. "Ooo, where are you going?" I asked as Natasha slid the 20 bucks into my back pocket. "He hasn't told me yet, he said it has to be a surprise." He explained and I nodded. "I hope you have a good time." I told him as we started walking inside.
Her went to the training room while I went upstairs to my room. Natasha was already on my laptop. "Babe who's Nikola?" She asked and I was confused. I put my hand in my pocket and that's when I realised she took the piece of paper. "No one." I replied hoping she would drop it but I knew she wouldn't. "She clearly is if you've been looking for her for 7 years!" Natasha shouted while pointing at the file on my laptop named 'Nikola'. "Katya who is she?" Natasha questioned while getting up and walking closer to me. "My sister!" I snapped and she looked hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, calming down. "Because I didn't tell you when we were younger and I guess it never really came up." I explained to her and she rolled her eyes. "Never came up? That is a huge part of your life Katya!" She said but not in an angry way. "I'm sorry." I said not looking her in the eye. "No Katya it's ok." She reassured me while pulling me in for a hug.
"No it's not Natasha." I told her and she forced me to look at her. "Yes it is, I understand. I had a sister as well. Her name is Yelena." She admitted and I froze under her name. "What did you know her?" She asked as tears filled her eyes. "Yeah after you escaped I met her and we became friends. It's was a secret though." I explained to her and she nodded. "I tried looking for her but I didn't find anything." I added on and she nodded as if to say 'same'.