Waiting for Steve to return home was agonizing. All I wanted was to run into his waiting arms, and declare my love for him. Nothing else mattered anymore. I would eventually come to terms with all the factors keeping me from fully trusting the man. The memories of killing the women hadn't returned. I took Steve at his word on what occurred that evening. My life back in Portland was nonexistent before Steve took me. No matter what happened here, I knew I wasn't going home. Ann, well, resided in the basement. Her faith was bleaker than my own. Steve would be returning soon, so she would face her fate.
The house remained quiet for the most part as the days passed. I spent a few walking the grounds, enjoying the last few warm fall days. I felt freer when Alec took off my bracelets the day after Ann's attack.
"Mr. Kemp requested that you stay within the confines of the gate, or he will put these back on," Alec expressed, placing the devices into his pocket.
We both had some trust issues. Mine justified by being taken against my will. I'm sure his had to do with Noa. I didn't know the details of the events that took place the night Noa tried to escape. Steve seemed as though he was still recovering weeks later. I wondered if the surgery the man underwent was due to the attack. Would Steve tell me when he returned home?
I lost track of how many days it had only been Alec, Ms. White, and myself. The quiet allowed me to focus on things I wanted to express to Steve. I spent many nights in front of the fireplace, writing in my journal. The many conversations with myself allowed for personal healing. Reading my words each day permitted me to live in my situation. It was okay to be happy, even when society would believe I was crazy.
Loving Steve meant that I had to accept his unorthodox lifestyle. I didn't see myself crossing the line and participating, but I could love the man regardless. I wouldn't want to know what he was doing when he wasn't with me. There was so much I didn't know about Steve, but I wanted to know everything, even the parts that scared me.
Today, I started my day by grabbing my clothes and heading to my shower. I stripped my body of the silk pajamas Steve provided and turned on the shower hearing a moan from behind the wall. Water didn't appear, causing me to reach for my robe. I shuffled out of the bathroom, heading out of my room to find Alec.
"Alec, I think my shower's broken," I called through the house.
Alec exited the kitchen, chewing on a bagel, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, there is no water, and there is a strange sound when I turn it on," I explained as best I could.
Alec nodded, "Okay, I'll call a plumber. In the meantime, you can grab your things and use Mr. Kemp's shower."
"I don't think he'd like that," I responded, biting my lip.
Alec chuckled, "Please, I'm sure he wants nothing more than you naked in his shower."
"Alec!" I blushed, turning away from the man.
He smiled, "Get your things and take a shower. I'm going to get someone here to fix it."
Steve's bathroom was beautiful. Everything was black, white, shiny, and big. The whirlpool tub called to me the second I walked into the room. Knowing I shouldn't even be in here, I pushed away every instinct and concentrated on showering. The water seemed more inviting than my own, and the pressure against my muscles felt incredible. Stress melted away with every second inside the shower. Part of me prayed Alec couldn't fix my shower so I could use Steve's again.
Once completely relaxed, I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out. I grabbed my clothes to dress in Steve's room. I entered the room, greeted by the man I'd been waiting to see for days. He stood in front of me in only a pair of black sweats with a white tee in his hands.
"Steve!" I gasped, dropping my clothes and clutching tightly to my towel.
"What are you doing in here?" Steve asked with a smirk, placing the tee on the edge of his bed.
"My shower is broken. Alec told me I could use yours," I answered, trying to keep my eyes on his face. His naked torso kept drawing my attention as he walked towards me.
"Well, I do like the idea of you naked in my shower," he mumbled, only inches between us.
"How did your surgery go?" I asked, trying to pull the conversation away from me naked in his shower.
Steve smiled, reaching up and pushing a strand of hair from my face. "Surgery went well. In a couple of weeks, I should be able to return to...normal activities."
I pulled the towel tighter around my body, trying to hide from the man in front of me. "Maybe I should get dressed."
Steve leaned forward, placing a kiss on my cheek. "I missed you."
I peered up through my lashes, a smile forming on my lips. "I missed you too," I admitted.
"Yeah?" he questioned, surprised by my words.
I nodded, feeling his hand rest against my cheek. "I've missed you since you left. Your letter meant everything to me."
"I meant every word. I love you, my sweet girl," Steve assured me, placing his forehead against mine.
I had been waiting days to speak those three words to him. Now standing in his room, wearing a towel, and Steve shirtless, I found it difficult to say anything. Steve took my face in his hands, kissing the corner of my mouth. I felt the man was trying to draw out what was written all over my face.
"You don't have to say it if you're not ready. I know how you feel just by looking at you," Steve expressed, kissing the other side of my mouth.
I gripped his wrist as Steve placed soft kisses on my face. I enjoyed the feeling of his lips against my skin, yearning for his lips on mine. I needed to say those words to him.
"I love you too," I mumbled against his lips.
Steve pulled away, peering down at me. "You love me?"
"I do," I confessed. "I have for some time now. I was too scared to admit it. I'm still scared, but this time apart gave me time to work through some of that fear."
Steve kissed me softly, moaning against my lips. The man had kissed me before, but this was different. We both wanted this. My arms looped around Steve's neck while his wrapped around my waist. I pressed my body against Steve, whimpering when my skin touched his.
"My sweet Y/N," he hissed against my lips. "I've waited for this moment for so long, but we need to slow down.
I cocked my head to the side, arching an eyebrow. "Are you not...? Do you not want...?" I couldn't finish my sentence, flashing to Steve calling Noa a mistake.
"No, no, no, no, that's not it. I want you so fucking bad. I have since forever. I just can't right now. I..." Steve sighed, sitting on the bed and pulling me onto his lap. "The surgery I had this week was reconstructive surgery."
"I don't understand," I said, clutching my towel.
"The night Noa tried to escape, there was damage done to my..." He took a deep breath, gesturing to his dick.
I rose to my feet, my eyes drifting from his face to the front of his pants. "Are you okay?"
"I will be in two weeks," he answered.
"What happened?" I asked, taking his hand when he reached for me.
"It doesn't matter. Just know I'm not turning you down because I don't want to be with you. I just can't be with you right now," Steve replied, pulling me back to his lap.
I nodded, "I'm glad you're home."
"Me, too," he whispered into my neck. "You're all I thought about."
I smiled, shivering a bit. I wrapped my arms around my body, feeling cold for the lack of clothes. I pulled away, swiping a piece of hair from Steve's face.
"Can I get dressed now? It's a bit cold in here," I responded, standing from his lap and walking to the items on the floor.
"Can I watch you get dressed?" he asked, smirking.
I shook my head no while collecting my things. "I think you can wait a couple of weeks," I smiled, exiting the room.
"Can I cook you dinner tonight?" he called after me.
I gazed over my shoulder, strolling to my room. "I would love that."
Our eyes remained locked till I closed myself inside my room. Tonight would be the start of something new. I would take my time to learn who Steve was apart from the cannibal lifestyle. I knew that part would come up, but I wanted us to learn about each other before addressing my fears.
A/N: I feel this chapter is a bit all over the place, but I still hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the votes...please comment when you can. ❤️