!!TW!! Bullying, Topics of SA, Homophobia, Misogyny, Mentions Gangrape, Fighting, Panic Attack, Vomiting, PTSD Episode
Exam week was passing rather easily, Sanemi figured. On his end, things were calm and organized. Though, he had noticed that Genya had begun acting standoffish recently but wouldn't clarify when asked. Sanemi wanted to push but figured that now wasn't the right time. For all he knew, his brother could just be stressed out because of exams. Not everything was a mental health crisis, Sanemi needed to learn to back off sometimes.
"Did the kids bomb your exam too?" Giyuu grabbed the man's attention, sitting at his desk with a pile of exams that needed to be graded. Red ink was smeared across his hand and the man couldn't help but laugh at him.
"Your class is stupidly hard, Tomioka. It's literally a different language." He never really brought it up, but it was really impressive how Giyuu could speak English fluently. It wasn't an attribute you would expect from such a space-cadet of a guy. "But yeah, a lot of kids are bombing mine too."
"Math might as well be a different language. You couldn't pay me enough money to take your exam." Giyuu pouted, motioning towards the calculus exam like it offended him. "I'm convinced you have to be either insane or a masochist if you enjoy math."
"What does that make me, then?"
"You tell me."
"You're such a freak." Sanemi scoffed, moving to swat the other man upside the head but was easily dodged. He could feel his face burning when Giyuu smiled gleefully at him, twirling the red pen in his grip.
"I love you too." This time Giyuu wasn't quick enough to dodge the flying marker but that did nothing to stop his teasing, however, the opening staff door did.
"I swear, if I have to keep watching you too flirt i'mma start charging you two." Obanai hissed, slamming the door behind him despite how the two women accompanying him chuckled. Mitsuri waved at the man, her face bright and flush with glee.
"Oh, come on, it's so cute."
"I kinda agree with Obanai on this one." Shinobu bumped her fist into the man's, turning to shoot a weak glare at the two men they were talking about. "Not even a few months ago, Sanemi would have had a meltdown if we told him that he'd be dating Tomioka ."
"Oh, fuck off, people change." Sanemi shrugged, looking away and willing himself not to laugh at Mitsuri's ugly cackle.
"Enemies to lovers is a popular trope, is it not?" Giyuu deadpanned and there was a pause of silence before no one could keep their composure. Mitsuri laughed, stumbling over to Giyuu so she could hug him while Shinobu had to hold onto Obanai for stability during her cackling. The man, however, was bent over the nearest desk so he could hide his flushed face.
"Oh oh! That reminded me!" Mitsuri suddenly perked up, accidentally shoving Giyuu's rolling chair a few feet until the desk caught him. However, the desk he ran into was the one that Obanai was lying on, so it only disturbed the man and made both him and Shinobu, who was still holding onto him, fall over. "Oops, my bad guys. Are you okay?"
"Mitsuri, I love you so freaking much." Sanemi gasped through his laughter, patting his friend on her back while she still fretted over the others.
"What were you saying, Mitsu?" Obanai grumbled, kicking Giyuu's chair so the man went back to rolling across the floor. It then turned into a game of hot potato, everyone pushing Giyuu and his rolling chair to another person and so on. The man in question did nothing to stop it, actually swiping his things off his desk so he could resume grading while his friends tossed him and his chair around.
"Oh yeah! I just watched this show, and it was enemies to lovers. I don't remember what it was called though." Mitsuri pouted, poking her cheek in thought. "A Korean Tail? No. Something like that."
"A Korean Odyssey."
"Yeah, that! Thanks, Tomioka." Mitsuri pointed at the man in victory before continuing. "Anyway, it's based off of a Chinese novel, I think? But it's about like a bunch of immortals and spirits and this human girl. The main guy made a contract with the main girl and stuff like that. It was so good–"
"Teacher! We need a teacher!" The woman was cut off, but Sanemi had to admit he wasn't that upset. She wasn't the best storyteller so there was no way anything she described would have made sense. "Teacher!"
A girl ran in, her pigtails lopsided and her eyes panicked. Sanemi almost didn't recognize her because of how distraught she looked. Aoi Kanzaki was typically a stoic and put together student, but her chest rattled with shaking breaths.
"Oh, thank God, we need you out there!" Aoi marched over to the teachers, grabbing at them and tugging Sanemi out of his seat. "They're fighting. I think if it goes on any longer Kaigaku's gonna kill him."
"Aoi, what're you talking about?" Shinobu helped with getting the teachers to move. The girl groaned, shaking her head before ranting. Aoi was a more hot-tempered girl, though she was stoic she was easily riled up and it seemed like she was at her wits end.
"I don't really know what happened, but Kaigaku and Gyutaro are fighting over that one guy who transferred here a while ago." Aoi's brows pinched, and she was quick to continue without needing to be prompted. "But if it goes on any longer Kaigaku's gonna end up breaking something on Gyutaro. He's pissed. Like really pissed."
"Wait, I thought Kaigaku and Gyutaro were friends?" Mitsuri cocked her head and Aoi scoffed, leading down the halls. The closer they got the more Sanemi could make out commotion, yells and swears bouncing off the walls.
"Sure doesn't look like it anymore."
"Exam season always makes me question my career choices." Obanai sighed, leading them as they turned the corner.
—
Kaigaku yawned, stretching his back until it popped. He hated exam season, like with a passion, but he was glad that it was almost over. And it hadn't seemed like Gyutaro or Ume had tried anything too awful lately. Just elementary school teasing and annoyance. Plus, it looked like everyone was protecting Genya without needing to be told. Kanao had even almost ripped Ume's throat out the other day.
So, Kaigaku wasn't sure if he should tell Genya about what happened that day with Zenitsu right before exams started. They didn't know for sure if Gyutaro knew anything for certain, but they had a suspicion. But Kaigaku didn't want to stress the kid out even more over a simple suspicion. So maybe they could wait until they had enough evidence of their bullying and bring it up to the principal.
Even Kaigaku could admit that was a shitty idea. Bullies never got actual repercussions, and he had been one.
"Have ya'll failed at anything yet?" Zenitsu spoke over his mouth full of food, and Kaigaku winced at the visual. "I'm like a hundred percent sure that I failed Mr. Tomioka's exam."
"Not yet but just wait till I have to take Nemi's exam." Genya played with his food with Inosuke, both boys using their lunches to make a brew of disgustingness. Kaigaku honestly wondered why everyone thought Genya was so scary when he acted like this . He was childish, but not in an annoying way like Ume was, but in the way that someone who was never allowed to be a child. Like he was trying to catch up on lost time. "I'm going to bomb that one, no doubt about it."
"Just give him some puppy eyes and a bat of those long lashes and he'll give you a passing grade, no sweat."
"That's called swaying the judges and I'm pretty sure that's illegal, Zenitsu." Muichirou reached forward to steal Kanao's candy, but the girl swatted his hand away with a sharp glare. "Are you trying to get Genya arrested?"
"Hey, three meals and a cot. What could be so bad with that?"
"Zenitsu!"
"Joking! I'm joking!" Zenitsu waved his hands in surrender, avoiding his friends playfully shoving hands. They all froze, however, when Genya felt something tap on the top of his head and Kaigaku was quick to sit up straight.
"What's up, idiots." Gyutaro smiled, a stack of papers in each hand and his expression oddly inviting. He held a sucker in his mouth, loudly clicking it to the other side of his mouth so he could speak. "Can I steal Genya for a moment? I need to run these down to the staff room and it's a little difficult with no hands."
"Hell no–"
"Just for a minute. Someone else can even come with, if you're all so paranoid." Gyutaro shrugged easily like this was no big deal and Kaigaku watched as Genya slowly stood up. His big eyes were glued to the stack of papers and Kaigaku swore he could see the thought process running through his temples. It was kind of disappointing, how much of a people pleaser the boy was considering how viciously violent his childhood had been. "Sounds good? Just for a minute."
"I'll help." Genya mumbled, reaching to take the stacks of papers before stepping back. "No worries, I'll be back in a minute."
Before they could react, both boys were making their way towards the door and Kaigaku caught the shift in Gyutaro's gleeful expression. Something turned in his stomach as the boy's eyes scanned Genya like he was an achievement in a game. And when Kaigaku stood, he hadn't expected it to scoot both the desk and the chair with a loud screech.
"I–I'll help too." Kaigaku turned back to the group of friends and met their worried gazes. He was the oldest here, he remembered, so he smoothed out his twitching expression into something a little calmer. "We'll be back before you all know it. Inosuke, don't steal all of Genya's food while we're gone."
Genya smiled at his friend as he caught up, the boy didn't catch the scathing glares Kaigaku and Gyutaro traded as they made their way into the hallway. The three walked in relative silence, only the two friends talking in hushed tones through the empty walkway. Kaigaku basked in each shy smile Genya gave him but was quick to focus on Gyutaro's studying gaze on them both. Kaigaku always wished the boy was more expressive, more open, so it was easier to tell his next move.
But Kaigaku couldn't, which is why he wasn't able to stop Gyutaro from throwing an arm around Genya's shoulder and tugging him closer to him.
"Look, Genya. I'll be honest here." Gyutaro spoke with his airy voice and Kaigaku watched his friend bristle as Gyutaro's touching hand. "I didn't make you come out here just because I couldn't carry some papers."
"Then, why–"
"Now, now. Don't get mad yet. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything. I promise." Gyutaro rested his head against Genya's and Kaigaku watched the boy's grip on the papers tighten. "I wanted to apologize–"
"That's what your sister said too." Kaigaku was surprised by the fiery glare Genya gave Gyutaro. He hadn't even been given that look, not even when he had been the tormentor. "By the way, you should tell her to stop sitting on boys' laps. You're her big brother, you should be looking out for her."
"Woah, didn't take you for such a conservative guy!" Gyutaro laughed loudly, letting go of the boy so he could stop walking. His eyebrows pinched as if he was actively thinking of what face to make next. He settled on something humorous, like this was a big joke. "Is that why you throw a fit when a girl gets mildly close to you? Cause you're a prude?"
"I'm not a–"
"Hmm." Gyutaro just hummed, setting the papers aside on the ground as he leaned on the wall. His thin fingers spun the green sucker as his ugly eyes watched the candy twirl. It glistened with his spit and Kaigaku watched Genya eye the sucker for only a second. "You puked on Emi's shoes not even a week ago just because she confessed to you. Your big brother had to come rescue you from a few compliments."
"That's none of your–"
"Plus, just the other day you ran away to the bathroom in the middle of an exam just because you saw a love letter." Gyutaro raised his eyes up to the boy, taking a step closer to him but Kaigaku was swift to stand in between them. "Or are you telling me that you and Zenitsu really were doing each other some favors ?"
"Gyutaro, shut the fuck up–"
"Don't worry, I get it. Maybe you're not into women, my bad." Gyutaro interrupted Kaigaku with a breathy laugh. "You should have told me then I would have changed tactics. But really, I understand. I would also be gay if a woman broke into my house."
Both boys' stomachs fell to their feet and Kaigaku could hear Genya's breath hitch. But if Kaigaku was good at one thing, it was being angry. Anger was easier. Anger was fueled by adrenaline. And Adrenaline had saved Kaigaku's lifetime and time again.
"You don't get to talk about shit you don't understand. You just sound like a fucking idiot."
"So, I am here to apologize to you Genya." Gyutaro completely ignored Kaigaku, smiling widely. "I really wouldn't have paid those girls if I had known you liked it up the ass."
Gyutaro had no idea of what he was talking about. He didn't know about the terror of those few days or the weird limbo of waiting. He didn't know the hysterical fear that plagued them the day of hearing what that woman had done and what Genya tried to do after. He didn't know about the trembling foundation of trying to get back to normality. Of not knowing what to say or what to do to make anything better.
Kaigaku hadn't meant to hurt himself, nor to freak out, but all he knew was that he was so lonely and that nothing was getting better.
There was nothing the boy could do to fix anything. Nothing was getting better. So, Kaigaku lost it, truly lost it.
"I can't fix anything. I can't fix it. I'm so sorry, I can't fix this. I can't– I– Why can't I– But I tried. I did. I tried so hard– But I can't– I'm so sorry. I can't– I–"
They all tried desperately to understand their friend, to understand his pain. But they couldn't. None of them could even begin to know the things inside his head or stabbing into his heart. They couldn't save him from that woman, and they couldn't save him from his mind.
Gyutaro didn't understand anything .
"Gyutaro, if you don't shut the fuck up then I–"
"I'm not talking to you, Kaigaku, so back off." Gyutaro scoffed, shoving the boy aside so he stumbled to the ground. A smile found itself on his face once more as he twirled his sucker. "I'm apologizing to my friend, Genya. Right?"
Genya glared at him and Kaigaku realized the barely contained trembling in his fists. His skin was pale from the strength of his grip and his eyes were scathing, nothing like the affectionate smiles his friends were given. It was something Gyutaro took glee in, watching Genya open his mouth to respond.
And he shoved the sucker into Genya's mouth, completely unaware of how this one action would spiral into so many different consequences.
The already wet candy made Genya freeze completely.
It was a green apple sucker.
It was green apple .
"Sorry, they were all out of watermelon, so I got my favorite flavor instead. Is that okay, Gen?"
"Lookie lookie, I got some organic gummies for your birthday. They're even green apple flavored!"
Gyutaro's hands were on him, but Genya was quickly fading, letting the boy manhandle him so he was hugged into his side. His knobby hand patted Genya's cheek roughly, his other hand naturally resting on his hip without much thought.
The hand patting Genya's cheek wasn't so gentle anymore, his skin searing hot from the solid slap given to him. His skin was sticky, and he felt so so heavy. Like a million weights laid on him as his head was dunked under water. Someone was talking to him, it was Miyano, but Genya couldn't make out her words.
She was getting annoyed, her wet hand resting on his throat and Genya desperately wanted to make out her words. He didn't want to make her upset, but his brain felt like mush and his mouth tasted like green apple sand, tacky and spoiled. His eyes kept rolling and fluttering, something trying to drag him back into the nice empty feeling from before.
His skin pinched, his jaw screaming in pain as the woman above him wrenched it open harshly. She held something in her hand that was quickly pushing onto his tongue. She didn't even give him the chance to try to swallow it before she was pushing her fingers down his throat.
He was choking.
He was going to die.
And he couldn't even fight back.
The last thing he would ever taste is green apple, tacky and wrong on his tongue.
"Y'know I was wondering...." Gyutaro's voice barely brought Genya back, but it was a struggling effort since he didn't even wait before he continued. "That lady who broke into your house. She couldn't have been too big, so why did your friends get so beat up? Look how big you are, you could have taken her, buddy!"
You could have taken her.
You could have...
So why did your friends have to get hurt?
You could have taken her.
Why didn't you, Genya?
Why didn't he? There had to be a reason, but he couldn't remember it. The pressure of Gyutaro's warm hands and the taste of the soiled candy on his tongue were making him forget a lot.
Bloody hands wrapped around soft skin.
He pressed his entire weight down, much like Kyogo had to him before.
He squeezed, his skin slick with his blood and her sweat. Her big doe eyes bulged, and tears gathered in her lashes.
He should have killed her, Gyutaro was right. He could have taken her. He should have. Why didn't he?
"That's my daddy and that's Suzune." He pointed at two figures holding hands before pointing at the other two. "That's you and that's your daddy."
She had a son, a little boy. She had a baby that was so sweet and so perfectly untainted. Untainted unlike Genya. He didn't deserve to go through the pain of losing a mother. No one did, much less a baby. That was why he didn't kill her. He could have. He could have killed her.
"Genya, no! I'll be okay! Please don't. Please don't do this for me!" Nezuko sobbed, she looked so much younger like this. It made Genya's heart ache. He needed to protect her; it was his job. "I can't live with myself if you do this for me! It won't make me happy; you hear?! I won't thank you if you give yourself to her for me!"
"Fight back damnit!" Inosuke yelled, watching as his friend's head lolled to the side to look at him. "Do something! Don't just lay there and take it! Genya, please!"
He should have killed her.
"Oh, watch out. Don't wanna drop the candy." Gyutaro laughed, pushing the sucker back into Genya's mouth until it touched the back of his throat and he gagged. His hands almost came up to push the sucker away, but he stopped, gagging again.
"Here, want some candy?" Miyano pushed her hair back with one hand while the other one held out a sucker. The boy hesitated, eyeing it wearily until she just chuckled. "Just for you, the others don't get any."
"But dad will–"
"That's why you have to stay in here until you finish it. He won't find out." Miyano let the boy take the sucker before she stood, locking the bedroom door before sitting back down with a bright smile. "See, he can't get in now and you can eat your candy in peace until you are finished."
That seemed...fine. Yeah, that seemed fine. Kyogo wouldn't know and the others didn't get this. This was only for him, only for Genya. This was Genya's. Only his.
Could he take her? Sure, he was stronger than her and bigger than her now, but did that even matter anymore? Not when she could unravel him with the simplest of things. Was he ever meant to win?
Could he have killed her? Physically, yeah, but what about mentally? Was Genya able to kill Miyano?
Kyogo readied his knife, this would be it. He would finish this here and now.
Genya readied his gun shakily. He didn't want to be a murderer.
But if he did kill her, that would just make him the exact same as Kyogo. They would be no different. But then again, if he left his friends to be hurt just to save his own skin then he wouldn't be any better. He would be selfish and cowardly, just the same as Kyogo.
So, Genya was backed into a corner. Defend himself and become a murderer, a monster, but surrender and be a selfish coward. There were no choices, Genya never got to have a choice.
Weird noises were coming from Miyano's phone and Genya shifted his sucker to the side of his mouth so he could speak but before he could, she was scooting so they were flush against each other. Her skin against his felt warm, comforting, like a touch his mother would have given him when he was young.
"Look at this, sweetheart." She pushed the phone towards him, and it took a second for the boy to realize what he was looking at. But when he did, he shied away and tried to scoot towards the end of the bed. The woman in the video was still making loud noises that made Genya feel weird and Miyano's studying gaze made him feel weirder. "Cool, isn't it?"
"I'm not supposed to–"
"Shh, it'll be our little secret." She grinned, holding onto his waist so he couldn't move and pushing her lips against his ear, so he had to hear her. The video was still playing, and Genya had to shut his eyes but that did nothing for the sound. "Just like the candy."
"You bastard, leave him alone!" Kaigaku growled, getting up from the ground and marching closer to them. His anger was palpable, his eyes dark and glaring.
He looked like the predator he truly was. Eyes dark and evil, teeth bared. His skin was smeared with the blood of his prey.
"Oh, fuck off. Lighten up, man." Gyutaro pulled out his phone, typing quickly before shoving it into Genya's view. "Now, so I don't make any mistakes, why don't you show me your type. What type of guys do you go for?"
His thumb swiped across his gallery, showing a picture of a barely dressed man and Genya felt ill. He tried to look away, but Gyutaro pulled his chin roughly, so he had to look at the pictures.
"Not into the manly man type? Okay, so what about girly?" Gyutaro hummed, his voice so close to Genya's ear that he could feel his breath on his skin.
"What's your type, Gen?" Miyano hummed, pushing the green apple sucker into his mouth gently with a sweet smile. Sometimes, Genya felt like she wasn't as sweet as she pretended to be, but he didn't care. He wanted her to be sweet. "Show me."
Her phone held pictures and videos of lewd, naked women that she showed to the boy. He didn't want to look at them, but he was relieved that none of them showed their face, their head out of frame. It made it easier to not think of them as human and made it easier to digest.
"That one." He mumbled around his sucker, wanting this to be over. The sounds of the videos made him feel icky and hot. And he didn't like how Miyano would watch his lap, as if waiting for a reaction. But when he made his decision, her smile spread across her face like he had done something right.
"Good boy! God, Gen, I love you so much!" Miyano pulled the sucker from his mouth so she could kiss him, tossing the phone to the side. "That picture was mine. You chose mine."
"You chose me, Genya. You chose this."
Suddenly he was shoved out of the way, stumbling like a fowl before vomiting all over the hallway. He pushed his hand to his mouth, gagging on the taste of candy as he heard yelling behind him.
He chose this. He chose to come with Gyutaro.
Genya, you chose this.
Kaigaku gripped the collar of Gyutaro's shirt, making the boy drop his phone as it skidded into the puddle of sickness on the floor. Their shoes squeaked on the tiles as he shoved Gyutaro into the wall. He could hear Genya retching and shuddering behind them and that only served to fuel his anger, making this easier on him.
"You fucking bastard, give it a break already." Kaigaku didn't yell, he didn't raise his voice. Instead, he growled. "Doesn't it get boring?"
"I don't know what fucking got into you, Kaigaku, but don't have all high and mighty." Gyutaro returned the dark tone, his nails digging into Kaigaku's wrists. "You were the one who was hellbent on giving this 'monster what he deserved'. Don't you even remember that he got five children killed! He shot his own fucking dad!"
"You don't know fucking anything–"
"And now he let people who he said were his friends get hurt by one single woman. Don't you see a fucking trend?" Gyutaro's eyes looked slightly crazed and Kaigaku was genuinely taken aback. "Don't you fucking get it?! People like him let people get hurt or worse!"
"Are you fucking crazy? He's the fucking victim here! His dad killed his siblings! His fucking dad did tha–"
"He fucking shot a man who only had a knife–"
"He had to!"
"Oh, and he had to let his friends get hurt by one fucking woman? Does that make any sense? If he was willing to shoot his own fucking dad, then what happened to all that bravado when his friends were in danger?" Gyutaro's voice was bouncing off of the walls, garnering some attention from passing students that were just now coming out of classrooms. He laughed, something high and keening. "What happened to protecting himself then?"
"Hey...are you guys, okay?" Aoi Kanzaki barked loudly, pushing to the front of the crowd to make her way towards Genya. Only then did Kaigaku notice how he wasn't breathing. There were no wheezing or shuddered breaths coming from Genya. He just wasn't breathing. He pressed his vomit covered hands over his mouth and closed his eyes, curled into a tight ball and Kaigaku wondered guiltily how long he had been like that. "Do I need to get the teachers?"
"Fuck off, Class Rep." Gyutaro growled, shoving Kaigaku off of him and moving to step away. His eyes glanced over Genya, looking at the mess he had created and thinking back on every interaction he had with the boy. Kaigaku could see a grin grow across the boy's face, his posture settling into something cocky before he turned back to Kaigaku.
"Y'know, Kai. My mom's in prison for murdering a shit ton of men. Do you know why?" Gyutaro looked at Genya again for a second before his words were spat, scathing. "Because they raped her. All of them. So, she killed them until they were unrecognizable."
It was odd, despite Genya visibly flinching and avoiding Aoi's help. Despite Gyutaro's victorious smile and the anger he had felt before. Despite Genya refusing to breathe and quickly devolving into panic. Despite this chaos, Kaigaku felt calm. He felt completely calm. Like everything was settling and everything was beginning to make sense.
"If my mom was able to kill an entire group of men who gangraped her and go to prison for it, then why couldn't Genya do anything against one woman?"
Kaigaku could see their friends threading through the crowd, Inosuke and Nezuko yelling and shoving people back into classrooms and away from the scene. Tanjiro quickly made it to Genya, Zenitsu a hot mess right behind him as Aoi explained what happened. Muichirou took one look at what was happening and went tearing back down the hall for help with Kanao.
Gyutaro genuinely laughed at the lack of answer, his eyes looking back at the boy turning back to Kaigaku.
"Are you fucking serious?" Gyutaro laughed, brushing his hand through his hair. This time his words weren't meant for Kaigaku as his eyes bore straight into Genya. He raised his voice and Kaigaku felt his stomach drop. It was like it was happening in slow motion, everyone moving. But Kaigaku had never felt sounder of mind, Zenitsu whispering to his friend while Tanjiro shivered in anger.
"You were raped by a woman ?!"
Kaigaku had never felt more rationally angry. Never did he think anger and calmness could cohabitate but now he could proudly say that it was the truth. He was calm as he stepped forward. He was rational as he reared his fist back. He could hear Tanjiro standing beside him, his face scarily angry and Inosuke's angry voice somewhere behind him. But he was calm, like he was treading water.
Kaigaku completely thought through his choice as he broke Gyutaro's nose.
He was completely calm and rational in his choice as he shattered his eye socket.
Kaigaku was calm.