tw: abuse
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It reached midnight when we're all finally leaving the forest. By now Matteo's sober enough to drive so once we've said our goodbyes to everyone we get in the car and drive off.
"Did you enjoy your birthday?" I ask him as I comb my fingers through the back of his hair.
He leans into my touch and lets out a long sigh. "Mhm," He hums, using the heel of his palm to turn his car, "Tired though."
"Think you drank too much."
"Regretfully," He groans lightly, "My head hurts."
"Want some Advil?" I ask, reaching into my bag.
"You have Advil?" He raises his eyebrows, glancing away from the road to cast me a glance.
"I always have Advil." I shrug my shoulders and extend the packet towards him. "Want one?"
In response, he nods his head and opens his mouth so I place one in there. He takes his hand off the steering wheel, the other gripping my thigh, and takes the water bottle he was drinking from earlier out the cup holder. After unscrewing the cap, he takes a swig before chucking the empty bottle in the backseat.
"You'll be a great mom to our future kids." He blurts out randomly.
I chuckle and shake my head at his unusual randomness. "You want kids?"
"Yeah with you."
"How many would you want?" I ask, gazing up at him with a small smile.
"However many you want," He shoot me a handsome smile, "Your body, your rules."
"Mm," I hum, pondering for a moment, "I want a big family. Maybe it's because I'm the only child."
"Yeah?" He says softly, "How many we talking?"
"Like four."
"Shall I pull over right now so we can get started?" He smirks, giving my thigh a gentle squeeze.
"Keep it in your pants," I scoff, rolling my eyes, "We're still in high school, mister."
"I can't help it. You're just too beautiful." He murmurs, lacing his fingers with mine and kissing the back of my hand.
"You're crazy."
"Crazy about you."
"And corny."
"Corny for you."
His dimples make an appearance when a giggle leaves my lips. "What else did you get for your birthday then?"
"My sister got me this," He says, gesturing towards the small diamond chain around his wrist, "My Mom got me this book I've been wanting to read and then my Dad bought me shoes."
"What book was it?"
"I forgot the name," He mutters, "I'll send you a picture later."
"Will you read it to me?"
"Of course," He replies, nodding his head, "I'll do anything for you."
"Even eat a mushroom?" He hates mushrooms.
"If that's what you want." He sighs, brushing his thumb along the back of my hand.
"You hate mushrooms."
"But I love you."
"I love you too." I lean over and peck his cheek, then pull away.
He slows down his car when we come near my street. "You can park here." I say to him, gesturing towards the side of the road at the end of my street.
He does so but I grow confused when he suddenly turns his car off and gets out. He opens the passenger side door so I unbuckle my seatbelt and furrow my eyebrows at him.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"It's midnight, Audrey," He states the obvious, "You think I'm gonna let you walk the street alone at this time of the day? Especially in a neighbourhood unsafe like this? Come. I'll walk you up to your house."
My eyes grow wide and I quickly shake my head in disagreement. "You can't. What if my Dad sees yo—"
He grinds his jaw together and looks away from me briefly as he releases a deep breath. "Baby, he won't." He says, turning back to face me, "I'll be quick, okay? Now come on. I just want to make sure you're safe."
Reluctantly, I take his hand and get out of the car so he shuts the door behind me. After locking the car, he intertwines his hand with mine and then I lead him towards where my house is.
"Make sure you sleep as soon as you get home." I say to him as we stop by my house.
"Yes ma'am." He mutters, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his forehead against mine.
"I love you. Goodnight." I whisper softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
"I love you too," He mumbles, "I don't want to leave you." He frowns, pulling me into a tight hug. "Can't you stay over again?"
"You know I can't." I swallow the lump in my throat, thinking of what Dad might say if he found out.
"I hate leaving you here Audrey."
"Matteo, it's okay." I smile up at him. "I'll be fine."
"Fuck," He mutters under his breath, running a hand across his jaw, "Promise me you'll text me before bed then."
"I promise." I nod my head in response and then peck his lips before pulling away.
"Okay," He breathes out but a frown still sits on his lips, "Sleep well, princess."
I shoot him a smile over my shoulder and walk up to my front door. Once I'm inside and he knows I'm fine, only then does he walk back to his car. As soon as he disappears, my heart sinks. He doesn't know how much I hate being away from him too.
"What did I fucking say, Audrey?" A voice I've come to hate spits out in anger, causing my stomach to drop.
Slowly, I turn around and to my horror I see my Dad standing there with a wild look in his red rimmed eyes. Never in my life have I seen him this angry.
"I-I didn't know you were coming home today." I say quietly, swallowing the lump in my throat.
—
He stalks towards me and I step away from him until my back meets the wall behind me. "It is my damn house, isn't it?" He grits out, "What the fuck have I told you about whoring around? Such a fucking disgrace!"
Within a blink of an eye, I felt a burning pain against my cheek. The pain has tears forming in my eyes and I lift my hand up to place it against my now red cheek. I feel something running down my nose and I wipe it with the back of my hand to see blood.
"I'm sorry," I choke out, feeling my breathing begin to pick up, "I'll stop seeing him. P-Please don't hit me."
"I can do whatever the fuck I want!" He yells, knocking me to my knees, "You're living under my roof and this is what you do?! It's about time you pay me some fucking money!"
"I-I'll give you cash. Please." I sob, shielding myself from his rough hits with my arms.
"Damn right you will!" He takes off his belt and my head begins to pound from the uncontrollable tears falling down my cheeks. "I told you to stop seeing that little boy but you never fuckin' listen to me! The fuck you crying for? You're a pussy of a murderer. You took her from me!"
"I-I won't see him." I cry out in pain with the first whip to my back by his belt. "I-I didn't kill her."
"Yeah you won't," He sneers, "Not anymore." I wince in pain when he grips onto my hair and drags me towards the stairs. "You aren't leaving this room until you've learnt your lesson!"
Black spots invaded my vision as I squirmed in his hold. Then tears were falling down my cheek. His voice was muffled as the only thing my brain could focus on was the pain he had inflicted on me.
"Maybe you should listen to me and not be such a fucking slut next time!" He screams, throwing me down onto my bedroom floor before slamming my door shut.
—
"Wait! Dad, please!" I plead desperately as I crawl over to the door before banging on it after I realised that he has locked it. "Let me out!"
My cries fall on deaf ears and I eventually become to tired to carry on. Tears fall down my cheek as I slump against the door, feeling like my whole world just came crashing down.
Times like these are when I miss my mom the most. Her warmth, her smile, her voice. Everything. I just need her and for so long I've put up with Dad's shit because I though that's what she wanted. For us to stick together. Now I realise that she never wanted this for me.
I wish I could just ask her what to do.
My whole body hurts to move and the pain starts to become insufferable to the point where I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. Then eventually I let the darkness consume me.