"Are you still crying?"
I glanced at Quen when he spoke after an hour of silence between us. We are both sitting on the side street near my department building where we stopped after walking away from Sean and the girl he's with. Hanggang ngayon iniisip ko pa rin kung sino 'yon? Ano ba talaga sila o bakit ginawa sa akin 'to ni si Sean...
But then, I think seeing them a while ago was enough proof that he really didn't like me at all.
Then why does he need to make an effort for me? To make time for giving me things? Surprising me?
"I'm not crying..." I answered him, trying hard to gave him a small smile but failed when a light sob escaped from my lips. Quen was just staring at me, I couldn't read what he was thinking. Sobbing continuously then wiped my tears with the back of my hand. "Why would he do that? Bakit niya ko niloko?"
I buried my face in my arms and let myself cry. Hindi ako nasasaktan dahil sobrang gusto ko siya but the thought of him doing effort just to make me agree to date him then betray me after makes my heart break more.
Pinaasa niya ako.
I thought he was different.
"Stop crying, that asshole doesn't deserve any tears from you." I felt his hand on top of my head, trying to make me feel better but his gesture started to make me cry more and I don't understand why.
"Am I not pretty?" I ask him in a small voice, turning my head a little to peak at him. He was looking in front and I eve I was crying I can't ignore the fact that he has a good side profile.
"You're pretty." Quen answered me, caressing my head now and turned his head to look back at me.
"Am I not smart?" I sniffed and wiped my tears.
"You're smart." He sighed and remove his hand on top of my head to remove his cap and put it on me. agin. Doon ko lang napansin na umaambon na pala.
Gusto kong isipin na malas talaga ako but I want to give myself a break and think that the dark sky was sympathizing with what I felt right now.
"Am I not worth it?" My own question made me let out a quiet sob. I hate it when times like this make me question myself.
Why do I need to feel like this? Okay naman ako ah.
"You're worth it." Quen sign again. His eyes softened as he stared at me. "Kj..."
"Then why?" I added almost a whisper now.
He was quiet for a second before answering me. "You just haven't found the right one for you."
I scoffed hearing him say that. "Bullshit." I turned my attention in front and stared at the raindrop starting to fall heavily.
Students started to run now but here we are both still sitting on the sidewalk.
Maybe I'm not really the type of person who's not worth pursuing.
Napaangat ako ng tingin ng tumayo si Quen sa harapan ko. I tilted my head to one side, looking at him confused.
"Come on." He said and offered his hand to me.
"Where are we going?" Creasing my eyebrow.
"Do you trust me?" Quen asked, arching his brow a little.
"Of course I trust you." I answered him sincerely, making him smirk. "But where are we going?" asking him again but took his hand to help me standing up.
"To make you feel better."
That's the only thing he said before pulling my hand. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta. The next thing I knew we were in the parking lot walking towards a silver BMW.
Quen opened the shotgun door for me.
"Really, Quen where are we going?" I hold on to the car door, brow crease still confused on where the hell we are going. "Don't tell me we'll cut class?"
He chuckled and flicked my forehead. "Silly. We have a three day break class because of the preparation for the upcoming university week. You don't know that?"
I didn't. I was too focused on surprising Sean but ended up being the one who was a surprise for me.
I shook my head.
"You said you trust me?" Quen's eyes and voice soften. Which is kind new to me. Maybe he pity me now on how I looked so pathetic a while ago. "I'll make you happy today."
Sounds like a promise to me.
Quen leveled his face to me. I didn't move even though our faces were inches away. He smiled.
"I don't want you to think about what happened earlier. Like I told you, he doesn't deserve any of your tears or even any of your attention." He reached for my hair and tucked the hair behind my ear. "You're better than that. You deserve more."
"Why do you always say words like that?" I bit my lower lip and looked down but Quen held my chin to look at him again.
"You don't believe me? Hm?"
If my feeling was right, I think I just felt my heart beat faster because of his voice.
I quickly shook the thought.
"It's not that I didn't believe you..."
He chuckled and pinch my cheeks. Napahawak ako dito at sinamaan siya ng tingin. He gestured me to enter his car. I sigh and do what he wants. Hindi ko alam kung saan kami pupunta but I think this what I needed today.
Inayos ko kaagad ang seatbelt ko pagkaupo, still in the thought of what happened earlier when I slumped my back on the passenger seat while Quen started the engine of his car.
It's still early in the morning and I haven't done anything but I felt really so exhausted.
I look at the window when the car finally moves. I really have no idea where we are going.
"Quen...saan ba talaga tayo pupunta?" asking again, attention still outside.
"Wedding Anniversary of my grandparents."
"Oh..." I nodded my head slowly at his answer.
Ano daw?
Wedding Anniversary?
Grandparents?
"What the hell?!" I blurted out and moved to my seat to face him. "Seryoso ka ba?!"
"Uhum..." he casually nodded and maneuvered the car.
I panicked a little because why the hell Quen was thinking that he would bring me to his grandparents event? Okay lang ba siya?
I slapped his arm but he just glanced at me and smirked.
"Quen!"
"What?" He chuckled. "You'll enjoy it there. I promise."
"That's not it!" I clicked my tongue and slumped on my seat again and crossed my arms. "Look what I'm wearing? I even cried! I look like a mess!"
"You don't." glancing at me again. "And stop worrying we'll stop at the mall to buy clothes for us."
I let out a defeated sigh and calm my self. Tumingin ako sa phone ko ng tumunog ito. I quickly turn it off when I saw Sean's name.
Napatingin ako kay Quen ng maramdaman kong nakatingin siya sa akin pero binalik din agad sa harap ang atensyon.
Like what he said, we stopped at the mall to buy decent clothes for us.
Honestly this is so random.
"Quen..."
"Kanina ka pa nagrereklamo diyan." he chuckled and handed me another dress. "But you kept on picking dresses. Make up your mind, kj."
I pouted and took the black off shoulder dress he gave me to check it.
"You know how much I love clothes and bringing me here is like heaven to me." I rolled my eyes.
"Try it." he said and put his hands inside his pocket. "Let's see what suits you better."
"Okay..."
I had five dresses to choose from and tried it one by one inside the fitting room.
I tried the powdered pink dress but It didn't match my vibe for today, even the blue tube dress, the halter white printed dress and plaid one.
Hindi naman ako ganoon kaarte sa pananamit. Siguro dahil na 'rin sa nararamdaman ko ngayon kaya nahihirapan akong pumili ng isususot.
"kj?" I heard Quen's voice, I think he was just standing beside the fitting room. Waiting for me.
I wore a black off-shoulder dress with a white colored design on the top. Staring at myself in the mirror to check if it fits me.
"Quen..." I called him while still looking my reflection on the mirror. I heard the curtain move and saw Quen's reflection on the mirror after. He was staring at me. "What do you think?"
He leaned sideways on the fitting room wall and crossed his arms. "That's pretty."
I chuckled. "Me or the dress?" joking a little.
"You of course." he shrugged and walked towards me and stopped not inches from my back. He gathered my hair and put it on the side. I felt his finger on my nape when he put a necklace on me. "This will suit you too."
"Where did you get that?" I didn't realize that I was holding my breath.
He laughed softly and looked at our reflection again in the mirror.
"The sales lady recommended it and I just thought that it would really suit you. Look." Placing his hand on my arms. "Now you're ready for the party."
I scoffed and turned around to face him. That's when I realized that he was already wearing a black suit and white dress shirt inside, partnering mine.
"I think we are ready." I corrected it. He smiled before pulling me again outside.
I was going to pay for my dress when Quen gave his black card to the counter first. Kumunot ang noo ko.
"What? I was the one who invited you." he smirked and pulled my hand again.
"More of a party crasher." I corrected him. Hindi nga ata ako kilala ng pamilya niya tapos pupunta pa ako 'don.
I think Quen was not comfortable to leave me in that kind of state I had earlier that's why he'll bring me to their family event.
"You're my date for today so stop saying that." he opened his car for me.
"Date?"
"Beautiful date." he shrugged and put his hand on my back to guide me inside his car. "Let's go."
I pursed my lips when I finally sat on the passenger seat and my eyes were following Quen when he walked his way to the driver's seat.
Placing my hand on my chest to feel the beat of my heart.
Kira.
Stop.
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