Chapter 3
I yawned and stretched, my face was tight and tear stained. I rubbed my eyes and swung my legs off of my bed. I padded silently to the shower and washed up.
I really don't hate my life as much as just wish it were different. I more or less hate the situation.
I was never a bad kid. I don’t deserve this, do I ?
Right? I huffed and turned the shower off, grabbing my warm towel.
I put on my bow head band and padded to my closet. I opened the doors and searched through the racks, I scanned and then plucked out the uniform. I slipped on my black flats and exited into the kitchen.
“Good morning Layla!” Marissa greeted me serving some eggs and bacon on a plate before seating herself.
“Good morning, and thank you for the breakfast. You really don’t have to do this I could just eat cereal.” I plastered a fake smile on my face.
“Oh its no worries honey!” She said washing the dishes. I finished breakfast and waved goodbye to a sleepy Julia, who was emerging from the staircase. Grabbing my book bag, I stood outside and waited for the bus.
Kara pulled up in her red Honda accord. “Hey Layla hop in” She rolled down the window patted the passengers seat. I happily jumped in throwing my back pack in the back seat.
“Dude, nice car.” I said admiring the leather interior. “Thanks a birthday present from the ‘rents” she laughed.
We pulled up to the school and I grabbed my bag out of the backseat.
“Thanks for the ride Kara!” I shouted as I ran to meet up with Sammy who was waving me over.
She smile “Okay so let me point out some key people.”
She said with a mischievous look. “Uh -Oh” I laughed.
“Okay so that jock over there is Leon the star quarter back for the school football team.” She pointed to a very muscular and handsome curly haired blonde who was hanging out with the rest of the football team.
“Those girls over there are the cheerleading team, and the blonde with the red bow is Emma Maslin the head cheerleader. Just stay clear of her, she’s pretty bitchy.” Sammy warned.
I laughed. “Like I haven’t dealt with that before.”
“Aww Sweetie.” She placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled.
“Okay and now one last person is him” She pointed to the most incredibly HOT guy I’ve ever seen. EVER.
“That’s Chase King, the schools hottest bad-boy.” Wait... how did he get into a private school then? He was lean but muscular, high cheek bones, long black hair, long enough to fall into the most beautiful emerald green eyes I’ve ever seen and he was tall maybe around 6’2 or 6’3. He had his bottom right of his lip pierced with a lip ring.
I wonder what else he has pierced…. What ew gross thought. Holy crap lip rings are HOT. He could have purely straight guys take a second glance. My knees felt weak. I realized that Sammy was snapping her fingers in front of my face. “Hello? Earth to Layla. Hey? Are you in there?”
“Oh sorry I uh…”
“Yeah, he’s not worth your time he’s a big time PLAYER. Big time, like huge.” I sighed. Of course.
He was leaning against his black mustang talking to some whore-y brunette. He looked up at me and smiled that flirtatious “I want to get in your pants smile.”
I faked smiled back and acted like I was going to wave flirtatiously back but then stuck up my middle finger clearly for him to see.
His expression turned to complete shock, and I turned around and headed into the school with Sammy on my heels dying of laughter.
“Oh my marshmallows! Did you just flip off Chase King? Hahaha! That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.” I shrugged.
“Well I’m not going to 'et him stop all over me for his own purposes.”
She shook her head, red hair swinging in delight.
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Three effing' AP classes later:
I was walking towards my locker when some jock and his friends approached me. “Yo what’d up hot stuff?” “Yeah what’s up sexy?” they sneered. I slammed my stuff in my locker, and grabbed my new books. “Get out of my face.” I spat at them.
“Ooo. I like ‘em fiesty” the dark haired one said smacking my butt, and trying to pull me into him. He sgrabbed my shoulder roughly throwing me off balance and his friends erupted in laughter.
I slammed my locker and pushed my head down in between my books so they wouldn’t see my tears as I ran to the bathroom. I busted into the door and almost didn’t notice the girl standing at the mirror with hot pink hair washing off her arm.
“You okay?” She asked not looking at me. I put my books on the counter and sniffled. “Yeah im fine.” I looked at her arm that was covered in cuts that disappeared into the sleeve of her shirt.
“Oh my god are you okay?” I asked staring at her arm, I’ve never seen any thing that grotesque in my life. She laughed “You act like you’ve never seen a cutter before.” I stared at her blankly.
The girl sounded mega high. Maybe she was on something. “You don’t know what cutting is?” She asked drying her arm off, and I noticed a new unhealed pink scar by the many on her wrist and arm.
I shook my head mesmerized.
“Cutting is when you cut yourself, you know to like release pain and stuff. It helps… I could teach you yah know? but its a secret you can't tell anyone that im showing you. It's one of my dark secrets, but I like you your new here, I think I should take you under my wing sometime." She offered.
Pain release huh?
“Uhh okay” I said nervously.
“Chill it doesn’t hurt that much. Just until you get used to it.” she said grabbing a thin metal piece our of her bag.
I noticed on her arm she had the words "F*ck off” etched in it from the tip of a knife. I shivered, what was her life like? “Ready?” she smiled.
She took my right wrist and being careful not to go near any veins she placed the blade lightly on my skin.
A tingle ran across my scalp. The pressed lightly and cut the skin just a inch or two. I sucked in a breath, it actually felt kind of good.
“See told you.” she said tossing the blade away. “Now wash it before it gets infected.” I let the water sting the cut not caring, the pain felt good. I finally felt free.
“You know what I do sometimes, ill cut my self -well not to deep anyway- but then ill spray some hairspray on it. The pain feels really good.” She said dizzily she was definetly high. “Thank you” I said.
“Here kid put this on it” she said handing me a Band-Aid.
I look puzzled and she said “It’s so others can’t see it.
“Oh thanks” I wrapped the bandage around the cut. “No problem. That should help you get through the day.” I nodded towards her before exiting to class.
Walking though the hall way I saw Chase.
Last person I wanted to see, but of course he strolled his hot self right up to me. He smiled that smile again and bent down to whisper in my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck rose.
“You know Layla I didn’t like that little display you showed me this morning. I really thought we could be friends, but I guess now you on my list.And trust me I’ll make you life hell because of it.” He straightened up without looking at me and continued walking.
I so hate my life.
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At home:
I entered the house and Marissa greeted me over the book she was reading to Julia. I waved to them with my left hand and retreated upstairs.
What Chase said bringing tears to my eyes.
No! no tears I will not let my self cry over him. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my shaving razor and took a deep breath nervous that I would chicken out.
The tingle ran across my scalp and I pressed the blade into my skin and swiped it across my wrist making four, two inch long cuts.
I let my head fall back and sighed. The pain is gone. For now. I watched the blood bead up and smiled satisfied. I rinsed the blade off and my wrist in the sink. I grabbed a thin gauze and clotted up the bleeding then disposing it, these im not putting a Band-Aid over.
I ran into my room grabbing a black hoodie and pulled the sleeves down so that they covered my wrist.
No more crying my self to sleep. Everything that hurts me would just become a memory. On my soon to be scarlet linked wrists.
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~Jaynet Stewart